A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Harold & Kumar (John Cho & Kal Penn) are no longer friends because Harold is married and has decided that Kumar's friendship is trouble.  Now Harold needs to find a 12 foot Christmas tree to appease his father-in-law (Danny Trejo), and Kumar still loves him enough to help him, despite the fact that Harold has become a stuck-up douchebag.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Kal Penn, John Cho, Danny Trejo, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, Paula Garces, Elias Koteas, Jordan Hinson, Patton Oswalt, Bobby Lee, Ashley Coss, Chloe Coss, Hannah Coss, RZA, Da'Vone McDonald, Yasen Peyankov, John Hoogenakker, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, Neil Patrick Harris, Daneel Ackles, Bennett Saltzman, Jake M. Johnson, Richard Riehle

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  It's wacky, but not in a clever way.  The most interesting thing is the weird ways in which they attempt to use the 3D psychedelically.  But I still hate 3D.  First it makes me dizzy, and then it puts me to sleep.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  The funniest parts are around a baby's first drug trips, so that's bound to be really unfunny to parents-- mostly because parents have no sense of humor about how kids do the darndest things!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Actually, it is sort of depressing at the beginning, when you see these two best friends who no longer talk.  Why do people who get married think they're so much better than those who don't?  Have they forgotten that over 50% of marriages end in divorce?  Do they think they're unsusceptible to that statistic?  Seriously married people, get off your high horses, and respect those people who were there for you when you were just a lonely loser, you may need them again sooner than you think.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Despite Your Highness's best efforts, this one takes the award for longest penis.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Even after his hiatus to work in the White House, Kal Penn has not forgotten how to act and be charming.  A few others start to break out in some of the miniscule roles, allowing you to picture them in bigger parts in future movies, including Jake Johnson of The New Girl, Bobby Lee of Mad TV, and Amir Blumenfeld of pretty much nothing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The 3D effects are noticeable, especially when you consider that Todd Strauss-Schluson is essentially a first time feature director.  Aside from those, it could have been directed by anybody.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  I just wish that Harold & Kumar had rekindled their friendship earlier on, because while the plot is clearly meant to be about the rekindling, the script is missing the love that used to be the reason Harold would put up with or go along with all of Kumar's hijinks.  Without the love, it's just one character annoying another, and that's not funny.  It's sad.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

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Our Idiot Brother

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Paul Rudd) is so sweet and naive in his belief in the good in people that he gets himself and his three sisters into a lot of trouble. But it's also because he has a big mouth.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Rashida Jones, Steve Coogan, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn, T.J. Miller, Shirley Knight, Matthew Mindler, Sterling Brown, Hugh Dancy, Janet Montgomery, Lydia Haug

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This is a very sweet character and a perfectly sweet movie, but there's nothing engaging about any of it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It is marketed as a broad comedy and it's not. There are still some good clever laughs, but the humor is much more subdued than you might think. It's almost British, in fact.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Still not engaging.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Movie I've Ever Told You Not to See... It's going to be more enjoyable on the small screen anyway. Wait for that.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: There are a lot of stand out performances. Paul Rudd is perfectly dumb. Elizabeth Banks is a perfectly uptight bitch, not dissimilarly to Kathryn Hahn's perfectly hippie bitch.While T.J. Miller is perfect at seeming like he's understudying for the role of the idiot brother.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There is an energy missing from the film that keeps it from being as fun as it should be, and it seems to have something to do with the directing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It just doesn't feel original in any way... and you really want it to.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Our Idiot Brother Trailer

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The Change-Up

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A married man (Jason Bateman) and a single man (Ryan Reynolds) switch bodies and try not to f-up each other's lives.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Sydney Rouviere, Mircea Monroe, Grogory Itzin, Ned Schmidtke, Lo Ming, Craig Bierko, Bailey Anne Borders

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you go to a body-switch movie, and your main complaint is that the set-up and the ending are predictable, then you only have yourself to blame. That's what body-switch movies do. You're supposed to watch a body-switch movie for the second act. That's where you get to find out if the actors where able to transform to the point of making you believe they are inhabited by the other, and it's where you get to see the ways in which they screw up each other's lives while they are inhabiting them. So let's talk about the second act, which isn't anywhere near as bad as the buzz on it. In fact, once it's released on VOD and DVD, I predict that many people will find themselves telling a friend, "You know what I saw last night, that wasn't half bad?"

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not out loud much, because the writers rely too heavily on swear words instead of humor, and the insulting nicknames the characters lob at each other incessantly quickly begin to feel overbearing and self-conscious.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What makes me cry most is how all the nerds and haters are so quick to say this movie is the end of the raunchy R-rated comedy being hot. Some of us love comedies, don't consider them a phase but rather a necessity, and don't start screaming about how it's the end of your stupid comic book movies, just because Green Lantern came out and sucked. (Disclaimer: I didn't see it.) Hey, I'm noticing a pattern. Maybe we could all get along if we instead went around screaming that it's the end of Ryan Reynolds?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm giving Judd Apatow a Tolerance Award for letting the mother of his children show her boobs. It takes a truly secure man to be okay with that... Or maybe a truly twisted one. Either way, we should start counting down to their divorce.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jason Bateman does an amazing job of making you forget that he doesn't actually have Ryan Reynolds inside his body. Ryan Reynolds does an amazing job of making you forget why he's become such a hot commodity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Dobkin directed Wedding Crashers, so my first instinct is never to say anything bad... But. There are several pivotal pissing scenes, where we get full frontal shots, and before you get all grossed out, let me clarify that my complaint is that neither one of these men seems to have a penis. Now I know you can't show that in an R-rated movie, but what I don't know is why the director chose to shoot an angle that makes it so obvious that they're holding little water hoses rigged to come out of their flies. It would have been so easy to use only angles that don't show the pants' opening. The way it is shot, you can't help but peek, and seeing nothing there is disturbing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: From the writers of The Hangover, comes a film that feels like it's from the writers of an ABC Family Film-- with tits, swearing, and male leads. I think the lesson here is that you shouldn't try to do a body-switch movie for the R-rated audience. It would seem they don't care for the conceit. Oh well, I guess I'd better scrap my plans to write that body-switch movie between a hooker and her pimp.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Change-Up Trailer

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Bad Teacher

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A gold-digger (Cameron Diaz) resentfully moonlights as a teacher, hating her job, students, co-workers, and basically anyone who doesn’t have money that she might be able to manipulate out of them.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Lucy Punch, Jason Segel, Phyllis Smith, John Michael Higgins, Matthew J. Evans, Kaitlyn Dever, Kathryn Newton, Jillian Armenante, Igal Ben Yair

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Not boring or hard to watch, but if my description of the movie sounds like it doesn’t include a plot, well…

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Jason Segel has most of the good lines.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: When I think that this crappy teacher, with a little financial motivation, ends up being about 100 times more efficient than the majority of teachers in the public schools, yeah, it makes me a little weepy... Then again, this movie has less than nothing to do with real life, so why even compare the two.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Desirous of the Audience Noticing that the Teacher was Not Good, but "BAD." I first noticed the strong desire to get this across when in the the opening titles, they underlined the word "Bad" three times, and then circled it twice (just in case we hadn't noticed it yet.) So of course I had to ask myself why this was so important to them, and I think I figured it out. I have concluded that naming this movie "Bad Teacher" (instead of "Whore Teacher"-- which would've been a thousand times more apt), was done in an effort to create a genre based around a similar but great movie called, Bad Santa. You see in both movies, a protagonist with a drinking problem is placed in a job that involves dealing with innocent children, where the professional is expected to be sweet, but instead is an asshole-- and therefore funny. Get it? I know you do. So as a FREE GIFT from reading my blog, here are some marketable ideas that you might want to write in this genre: Bad Camp Counselor, Bad Pediatrician, and Bad Tooth-Fairy (the list of possibilities is endless). You're welcome.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Cameron Diaz is convincingly unlikeable, and Justin Timberlake is completely miscast in the role of a naïve, easily manipulated, sensitive nerd. He is so incredibly miscast, in fact, that no amount of acting could have saved his performance. This role is simply custom-made to be played by not him. And by “not him,” I mean, Jack McBrayer of 30 Rock.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I tend to want to blame the director for casting Justin Timberlake in a role so ill-suited to him, and thereby causing the movie to be even more stupid than it already is... But, considering all the press about how Cameron Diaz lobbied for her ex to have this role, I tend to think that Jake Kasdan's hands were tied. After all, she’s the big star, and his job is to make sure she doesn’t walk, thereby causing his movie to never get made at all.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Most of the elements of the school, the teacher-student relationships, the parent-teacher relationships, the teacher-teacher and principal-teacher relationships are as unlikely as a woman who looks like Cameron Diaz and acts like a transparent bitch ever getting hired for a job around pubescent children. But the most offensive and blatant problem with the script is the resolution, where the character turns around her whole attitude because I have no idea why.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Bad Teacher Trailer

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Paul

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A couple of English nerds (Simon Pegg & Nick Frost), who are in America for Comic Con, encounter an Alien named Paul (Seth Rogen), who is on the run from Area 51, and then, the English guys decide that it would be a good idea to help Paul get back home.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Jo Lo Truglio, Sigourney Weaver, John Carroll Lynch, Jane Lynch, Blythe Danner, David Koechner, Jesse Plemons, Jeffrey Tambor, Steven Spielberg (on the phone)

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Don't let the slow start scare you, once it gets going, you won't want it to ever stop.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I went for the Hot Fuzz duo, but I stayed for the funny alien.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but if you have strong religious beliefs, it's probably going to piss you off.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Comedy Central is finally putting together the Comedy Awards, in order to compete with the Tragedy Awards, also known as the Oscars, and so far, Paul is the front-runner to sweep the new show.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Turns out, I'm not sick of Seth Rogen, after all.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Greg Mottola is lucky that he's friends with more talented writers than himself, because when given a good script, his work is not half bad.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Great for nerds because they will be able to pick out references to every sci-fi film and TV series ever made. And great for everybody else because they will be able to laugh at how lame it is to be so nerdy that you can recognize references to every sci-fi film and TV series ever made.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Paul Trailer

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Rabbit Hole

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A couple (Nicole Kidman & Aaron Eckhart) grieves the loss of their 4-year-old son.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest, Miles Teller, Tammy Blanchard, Sandra Oh, Giancarlo Esposito, Jon Tenney

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It will put you in their place, and fill you with compassion. It's like my mother always says, "There's nothing worse than the loss of a child." I know, that's not the kind of thing most mothers always say, but that was just her way of trying to convince me not to take drugs.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you read the movie's description and thought to yourself, "That sounds like a film I'd like to see to get a good laugh," then-- it might just take all of my inner strength not to insult your sanity.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: For me the tears weren't inspired by the main characters so much as the people around them. There are so many more parts to this problem than I would have imagined.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Nicole Kidman: believe the hype.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: In other Nicole Kidman news, she has finally got her forehead moving again, so that's a relief. Unfortunately, she's now shooting her lips up with so much collagen, that in some scenes, she almost sounds like she has a speech impediment. This has everything to do with the acting because it took me about half the movie to stop staring at her strange pout, before I was finally able to lose myself in the extraordinary performance she'd been giving all along. I really hate collagen lips. And hers are even making me start to miss the Botox a little bit.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: John Cameron Mitchell has made three films, and I have loved them all. The other two are filled with titillatingly disturbing sex scenes, while this one doesn't include so much as a kiss. It seems like a departure for him, but in fact, it's just more proof that he can tackle any difficult subject matter in a way that makes you want to accept and understand it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Despite the fact that it's based on a play, and despite the fact that its locations and characters are extremely contained, as a play would be, it somehow doesn't feel like it's just a play on film.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Rabbit Hole Trailer

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Due Date

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: On the way to his baby's birth, an angry man (Robert Downey Jr.) has the misfortune of crossing paths with a blissfully unaware idiot (Zach Galifianakis), and before they know it, their paths to Los Angeles become inexorably linked.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifianakis, Michelle Monaghan, Jamie Foxx, Juliette Lewis, Danny McBride, RZA, Matt Walsh, Todd Phillips, and Sunny the Dog in the part of Sonny the Dog.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. While there are enough laughs and emotion to satisfy most comedy fans, the story's forward motion relies on your suspension of disbelief, not once but about 10 times. And sometimes, when you have to suspend disbelief that much, it can snap you right out of the movie.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Enough. But not at the line from the trailer, "Chiggety-check yourself before you wreck yourself," because that stopped being either funny or original circa 1994, when you, I, and everyone we know used it so much that we wore out its welcome.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you're afraid of heights, there's a long scene that will probably make you a little queasy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: To me this is the Best Zombie Movie of the year, because there are several incidents where the characters could only have come out alive if they were living dead.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This a-hole character is not flattering to RDJ, and I found myself actively missing Tony Stark. Zach Galifianakis though, actually has a few surprisingly powerful dramatic moments. Based on this performance, I would consider casting him in a serious dramatic role. I'm not joking.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Todd Phillips gave himself a role in this movie, and nailed the tone of the character perfectly. Which is especially impressive when you consider that he didn't really nail the tone of the movie itself. The tone of the movie is trying to be broad-- which would've forgiven the frequent suspension of disbelief moments-- but aside from a few of the jokes, it's not.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The hardest thing about writing a movie in the vein of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, is figuring out how you're going to justify keeping the two characters together, despite the fact that they're not getting along. Some writers come up with solid justifications. These writers did that a few times, and then just got bored with logic... Then again, who needs logic when you can fall back on suspension of disbelief.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The Soundtrack. I turned to the person next to me at least three times to mention how much I liked a song that was playing. I know what you're thinking, "Shame on you, Monique, for talking during a movie!" And I agree with you. I'm ashamed.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/due-date/38944/trailers

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Jack Goes Boating

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A strange and uninteresting man (Philip Seymour Hoffman) learns to swim and cook to impress an offbeat woman (Amy Ryan), whom he is dating.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Ryan, John Ortiz, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Salvatore Inzerillo

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Theater goers who didn't get a chance to see the play live, might enjoy the movie... much in the way that lazy high school students enjoy Cliff's Notes.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Maybe you. Not me.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Playwrights hoping to have their works converted into movies might cry, because this film supports the argument that that's a bad idea.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It will be up for Best First Feature at the Independent Spirit Awards, because that's an easy nomination to give Hoffman to try to convince him to be there, live and in person. Yes, it's all rigged.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: For me, the love of good acting is the only reason to see this movie... so long as you don't mind that the characters being played aren't ones that you'd want to spend any time with.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's Philip Seymour Hoffman's directorial debut, so you want to cut him a little slack, but like his character, the shots are particularly uninteresting, and the cinematography seems deliberately amateurish.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Trying too hard to be raw and real often makes you look pretentious and phony. Not my opinion, that's just what my fortune cookie says

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/jack%20goes%20boating/trailers

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It's Complicated

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: 10 years after her husband leaves her for a younger woman, Jane (Meryl Streep) finds herself having an affair with her ex-husband (Alec Baldwin), behind his new young wife's back.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Krasinski, Lake Bell, Zoe Kazdan, Hunter Parrish, Caitlin Fitzgerald, Mary Kay Place, Rita Wilson, Alexandra Wentworth, Emjay Anthony

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. While most good romantic comedies leave you a feeling like you want to fall giddy in love, this one instead, leaves you feeling like you want to fall giddy into bed with someone, so you can feel giddy the next day about how you fell giddy into debauchery.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are some funny set pieces having to do with old people smoking pot, old people being naked, and old people getting caught being bad. Yeah, old people are pretty funny when they do young people stuff.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you're from a family of divorce, you may be as moved as I was to see how loving it can feel to have all the scattered pieces of your original brood, back together around the lunch table, like it was old times.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Meryl Streep is competing against herself for the Golden Globe. Unfortunately for this gourmet chef, the other one is probably going to win.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Let's skip over the people we already know are great, and get right to the fact that the 3 children they supposedly conceived together are terrible. From the first frame to the last, every reaction they have is over the top and seems fake-- like they were plucked right out of their beginning acting classes to do this film. Only Hunter Parrish gets a pass, for being so cute, and reminding me of a young Ethan Hawke (minus the acting skills-- don't want to offend Ethan).

Q: How is the Directing?

A: As guest reviewer, Russ, pointed out to me, Nancy Meyers' directing is like an add for Williams-Sonoma. Although Meryl Streep has a beautiful and large kitchen, she dreams of having (--and is finally hoping to get in this movie--) a beautiful and large kitchen. As Russ put it, "It's like rich people's problems." I imagine it's easier to shoot a family of five (plus an ex-husband) in a beautiful and large kitchen. I imagine that's why she didn't choose to shoot the multiple kitchen scenes in an ugly and small kitchen. But I can't imagine how the renovations she's making on her house will do anything besides give her a smaller backyard.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Nancy Meyers clearly goes to a lot of trouble to make her two main characters somewhat likeable in the midst of their despicable act of cheating. I also respect and admire that she's telling original stories about older women in modern times. I'm learning so much about what is to come for me, although by the time I'm that old, modern times will be different than they are now, so I may need to learn entirely new lessons at that point. I also want to applaud her for several moments where the characters' reactions to a situation are not what you'd expect. The one thing I feel dissatisfied by, however, is why does Steve Martin's character have to be so damn dull? It certainly doesn't make you root for him to win the girl.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/its-complicated/34200/trailers

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A Serious Man

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man's wife asks him for a divorce because she's fallen in love with their good friend, and right when he thinks things can't get any worse, they do, because Jewish people are cursed.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed, Sari Lennick, Aaron Wolff, Jessica McManus, Peter Breitmayer, David Kang, Adam Arkin, Amy Landecker, Alan Mandell, Simon Helberg, George Wyner, Allen Lewis Rickman, Yelena Shmulenson, Fyvush Finkel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This parable will mean more to people who are Jewish than it will to the rest. But just because you're Jewish doesn't mean you'll like it, and just because you're not Jewish doesn't mean you won't.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: To answer that, I must ask you this: Are you the kind of person who usually laughs at a Coen Brothers dark comedy? And if you say yes, because you laughed at Fargo, I would ask you to re-examine your answer, by eliminating all the times you laughed because someone had a funny Minnesotan accent.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not if you're Jewish, because if you are Jewish, you will already know that life is meant to be filled with pain and agony, and there's no need to cry about it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: As is often the case with Coen Brothers movies, this one could well get an award for Most Overrated Movie of the Year. Especially since, much like with Pixar movies, most critics fear they would lose their credibility if they gave it anything less than a glowing thumbs up. I just happen to have a lot less fear than most critics.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: A cast of unrecognizable faces act like they've been making Coen Brothers movies for years.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: By far the best thing about any Coen Brothers movie is their signature style. The stills from this film could go up in a gallery next to stills for Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, or even Burn After Reading, and you would instantly recognize that it was one artist (made up of two people) who shot them all.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: This is where most of you will be lost. From moment to moment the emotions make sense and build on each other, but what it is all building toward, I'm not sure I could tell you. And to confuse (or clarify) matters more, there's the opening scene, which is rich and textured and disturbing, saying everything and nothing, as it stands alone, with no need for the feature length story that follows it. This brilliant scene could have won the Academy Award for Best Short Film, if only they hadn't tagged a 2 hour movie on the end of it. But how it relates back to the rest of the movie is speculative.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/a-serious-man/29878/trailers

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Taking Woodstock

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: To avoid going broke, a young man (Demetri Martin) agrees to host the Woodstock Music Festival at his parents' motel, and you all know what happened from there.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Demetri Martin, Imelda Staunton, Henry Goodman, Eugene Levy, Emile Hirsch, Paul Dano, Kelli Garner, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Don Fogler, Jonathan Groff, Liev Schreiber, Gabriel Sunday, Mamie Gumer, Kevin Sussman, Adam LeFevre

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Mostly due to a severe lack of period music, you never get lost in that 1960s feeling that was probably the main reason you chose to attend this movie in the first place.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: For all the silly places my sister, my dad, and I used to tell people they'd reached when they called our home, none of our attempts to be funny when we answered the phone were as hilarious as the way in which Demetri Martin answers the phone, in all seriousness, at his parents' motel.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if watching people go from flat broke to rich to richer in seconds flat makes you feel sad for your own insurmountable debt.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Considering the amount of nudity in the film, I was amazed to look around the theater at the vast number of blue hairs in the audience. Then it dawned on me, that these old geezers are about the right age to have actually attended this momentous event. And since the Academy is also made up of old farts, I'm going to assume that they too have a nostalgic affinity for smoking dope, dropping acid, and enjoying free love, and therefore, I'm not going to rule out awards consideration quite as fast as I should.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I don't know if you've ever seen Imelda Staunton in a film before, but I've seen her in two. And based on that tiny sampling, I would venture to say that everything she does is genius, and she should be doing a lot more of it. She is the highlight of the film, the source of most of the comedy, and in all seriousness, I would be shocked if she didn't win the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Ang Lee puts his artistic mark on the thing, but the pace is over-indulgent and self-important, at the same time. Also, I blame him for this film's greatest shortcoming-- which is the measly 3 recognizable songs on the soundtrack. You see, we know the problem wasn't that the budget was too low to afford more songs, because they had enough money to hire Ang Lee to direct.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is a nice story about family at the center of it all, and a few scenes that are particularly special. But the film starts out slow and never reaches the speed limit. So it's like driving behind an old person, and then having to smell them next to you in the theater... Probably sitting in a better seat than you, because they made you late.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/taking-woodstock/34750/trailers

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Lymelife

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Set during the late 70s, a fifteen-year-old boy grapples with first love while dealing with a chaotic home life involving his constantly quarreling parents.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Rory Culkin, Emma Roberts, Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Jill Hennessy, Kieran Culkin, Cynthia Nixon

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is a paint-by-numbers ‘indie’ developed through the Sundance Institute which helps explain its pedigree both in front of and behind the cameras (e.g. Martin Scorsese is a producer on it). You’ve seen variations on it before many times, and since this film is dated, I'm going to allow myself to use a dated joke: I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was called The Ice Storm.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The other reviewers make it sound like a yuck-fest from beginning to end-- don’t believe them! It's not a comedy, which isn't to say that you won't chuckle here and there-- if you’re paying attention.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if you’re intimate with the horror that is lyme disease.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Coming out in April…? Despite fine performances, I would guess that the distributors of this film have written off major award consideration.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s a terrific cast and they all give terrific performances. Rory Culkin is in just about every scene – it’s very much his film – and his angular, oddly handsome face perfectly expresses the confusion, anger and bemusement of a 15 year-old boy going through major life-changes. The revelation is Emma Roberts (Julia’s niece) as the precocious love object of Rory’s affections. She goes from sexy to vulnerable – and everything in between – within the heartbeat of a single scene (multiple times) breaking down every stereotype of a 16 year-old teenager that ever existed. The adults are all good too – even Timothy Hutton in a pointless and thankless supporting role.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Apparently this is a pretty low-budget film, but it looks really good – getting the Long Island setting period detail (late 70s) just right. The film is small and intimate, and the direction is given over to letting the performances shine and in that regard it’s more than competent. The tone is also consistent but it’s not as ‘quirky funny’ as the filmmakers probably think it is.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: So about a half-hour into this you start to realize there’s no plot and maybe – unlike myself – you are fine with that because you rarely expect indie films to have plots because supposedly a plot would not make it very ‘indie.’ I miss having plots when they aren’t there regardless of what kind of movie it is. This movie would have been better with a plot, but as ‘coming-of-age’/'slice-of-life’ films go, it’s fine and will most likely hold your interest thanks to Rory Culkin and Emma Robert’s performances.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/lymelife/trailers

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Observe and Report

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A mall cop (Seth Rogen) is totally f'd in the head.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Dan Bakkedahl, Jesse Piemons, John Yuan, Matt Yuan, Celia Weston, Collette Wolfe, Randy Gambill, Alston Brown, Danny McBride, Ben Best, Aziz Ansari, Patton Oswalt

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This comedy is so dark, it may actually cause you to long for Paul Blart.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The jokes are mean and ugly, and some of them even make you laugh.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I cried a little inside when I realized that I enjoyed watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop slightly more than Ronnie Barnhardt: Go "f" yourself if you think I'm not a good enough cop... Did it write that out loud? It's okay. I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go kill myself now...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: ... Not to cry wolf, but I decided to put of my imminent pending suicide on hold so I could give this movie the award for Best Use of Totally Unknown, Chubby, Asian Twins. They're adorable, and they're not even babies!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Rarely have I seen so much believable drunkenness as in this movie. Anna Faris' eyes actually get glossy, making her look wasted, tired and haggered, like only a drunk slut can. And Celia Weston, best known as that actress you've seen a million times in a million movies, but couldn't possibly name any of them, even for a million dollars, is incredible as Seth Rogen's alcoholic, slurring-her-words, insensitively-brutally-honest mom.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The budget has gone up exponentially from Jody Hill's first film, The Foot Fist Way, but the production quality hasn't gone up proportionally.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Many admirable risks are taken in this attempt to be something different. Most are cringe-worthy disasters, but a few teeter on the edge of genius. Thanks, at least, for trying to do something original.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Male frontal nudity. Lots of it. And not the pretty kind.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/observe%20and%20report/trailers

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Pineapple Express

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A process server (Seth Rogen), who is always stoned on the job, accidentally witnesses a cop committing a murder, and is forced to go on the run with his drug dealer (James Franco).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Gary Cole, Rosie Perez, Kevin Corrigan, Craig Robinson, Amber Heard, Ed Begley Jr., Bill Hader

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It's a good reminder that drugs and guns don't mix! Or drugs and cars, for that matter... Or drugs and jobs, or drugs and friends, or drugs and... You know, after seeing this movie I'm starting to think the only thing drugs mix with is sitting in a padded room. Alone. Legalize it!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: When you're laughing at death, you know they're doing something right.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Almost... Okay, probably not, but there is a strong, beautiful love that flows between the two male stars of this movie. You won't even want them to quit each other.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: No, but I may give out an award to the person who wins my "Seth Rogen's Celebrity Teeth Pool." Here's the idea: I recently noticed that Seth Rogen's two front teeth are exactly twice as long as any of the other teeth in his mouth, much like a member of the Rodent Family. Since he doesn't need them that way for gnawing wood, and he's eventually going to want to start looking like an actual celebrity, I imagine it's only a matter of time before he fixes his teeth through filing, veneering, or simply knocking them all out and starting over with dentures. My pool will give you, my loyal reader, an opportunity to place bets on how many more movies we will see him in before he has new teeth. The winner of the pool will get an award-- though I can't guarantee it'll be anything more than a hug. Please place your bets in the comments section of this post. (Sorry, Seth, but somebody was gonna point it out sooner or later.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Any good-looking actor who wants to be taken seriously, should always play a stoner. Brad Pitt won us over when he played Floyd in True Romance. Ashton Kutcher won us over in That 70's Show. Even Keanu Reeves made us think he could act in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Well, now it's James Franco's turn to prove-- through marijuana abuse-- that he's more than just a pretty face. And boy does he! Showing his comedy chops should catapult his career to the next level. Yes, I know that doing Spiderman seems like it should count for something, but if we're honest, I think we can all agree that it never got him A-list status.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Gordon Green, who is known for making small indy films on a micro budget, actually makes this look like a bonafide Hollywood movie. Who knew?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: From the writers of Superbad, and with the supervision of Judd Apatow, this script is exactly what you'd expect it to be: an implausible story that somehow still makes sense, about grown men acting immature and irresponsible, yet charming, as nonsense ejects from their lips, causing you to both laugh and be a little moved.

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