Q: What’s the movie about?
A: Samantha (Kim Cattrall) gets invited to Abu Dhabi and invites Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), on an all-expenses paid vacation where they can get away from their marital problems only to be reminded of them, while Samantha struggles with the de-sexualization of women in this part of the world.
Q: Who’s in the movie?
A: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Chris Noth, John Corbett, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Willie Garson, Mario Cantone, Jason Lewis, Alice Eve, Max Ryan, Alexandra Fong, Parker Fong, Raza Jaffrey, Walton Nunes, with Liza Minnelli, Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus
Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?
A: Proceed with Caution. Aside from the anticipation, the most exciting part of seeing this movie is watching all the packs of pre-arousal women entering the theater dressed up like they are characters from the film (myself included). It reminds me of another campy and oftentimes boring movie that has made an event out of audience participation. So watch out Rocky Horror Picture Show! You're getting old, and you may soon be replaced by a younger batch of overly sexed, pre-menopausal ladies, who look like they're in drag most of the time.
Q: Will this movie make me laugh?
A: Some. But a lot of the jokes try too hard to be witty, young, and hip, and in so doing end up looking like old people dressing too young for their age. If you want to make up cute little terms like "friendtervention," save it for when you get hired to write Bring It On 7.
Q: Will this movie make me cry?
A: I cried when I realized how blatantly the character and dialogue wreaked of having been written by a gay man. Gay men and straight women do not think or act the same way as each other, because gay men are still men. Sex and the City came to prominence because women were starved for stories that dealt with their issues and dilemmas in a real way. So if you're gonna have a gay man writing and directing, at least get a woman consultant on board and listen to what she has to say... And this in a film that talks about women not having a voice.
Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?
A: The MacGruber Award. For a scene so ridiculous, it would only be appropriate if it had been in MacGruber. Did you know that according to this movie, the women in Abu Dhabi wear big furry Versace outfits underneath their burkas? Yeah, they do that because it's not hot enough being in 109 degree weather covered from head to face to toe in a black sheet. You know what, while we're here, lets just give all the fashion in this movie the MacGruber Award.
Q: How is the Acting?
A: The girls do a good job of bringing back their characters like not a day has gone by. Separately, at the ripe age of 43, I think British actor, Max Ryan, may have finally gotten his breakout role. Move over George Clooney, there's a new silver fox in town!
Q: How is the Directing?
A: Considering some of the themes that are broached in this movie, it could have been great if only Michael Patrick King had cut about 45 minutes out of it, so he could have actually delved into the broached themes. Here are some of the obvious cut suggestions: 1) the gay wedding-- which doesn't advance the story in any way whatsoever, 2) the karaoke scene--which advances nothing, 3) the scene where they ride camels in the desert-- which seems to only be set there so that Samantha can say "Lawrence of my labia," 4) the tour of their hotel room-- which is only fun for the first 15 seconds of the 3 minute long sequence, 5) the 4 Maybachs-- if I went on vacation with my friends, I would want to sit in the car with them, and it's clear that the only reason they each get their own is so the director can shoot endless montages, that look like car commercials, of them driving together and pulling up together, 6) the extraneous costume changes-- yes we know the movie is about fashion, but we don't need to have scenes about changing into another outfit at the airport and in the desert. Nobody does that. Not even them. They know where they're going, they dress for it, and when they get back to the hotel, they change into new clothes for the next event. That also avoids clunky dialogue like, "Oh, but I can't ride a camel in this!" As well as voice overs like, "12 hours and one outfit change later, we were in Abu Dhabi."
Q: How is the story/script?
A: Sure there are a couple of classic S&TC scenes, like when Charlotte and Miranda discuss the difficulties of motherhood, and when Carrie and Aidan go on a date, but most of the drama is so light and surface-scratching that I actually thought I was watching an episode of The Hills at times. The Really Old Hills. If Michael Patrick King had cut some of the above mentioned scenes, he would've had time to get into the women's dramatic struggles in ways that had, well, drama. And I'm not into spoilers, so don't get me started on Carrie's plot's resolution!
Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?
A: What is the appeal of Mr. Big? He has no personality, and never has. He just looks like a giant-sized wallet to me, and that makes Carrie look like your run of the mill gold-digger. She has always had way more chemistry with Aidan.
Q: Where can I see the trailer?
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