Cowboys & Aliens

(Guest Review by Jack)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: With a title like that, you have to ask?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig are the cowboys. CGI wizards are the aliens...

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It has a lot of summer popcorn scenes that you should like, but none of them have any "wow!" And the genre mash-up is not enough to keep it fresh.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you do, it'll be at that stupid title.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Doubts... Other than the tears that I shed after reading Russ’ great review for Captain America. I let the movie time pick between the two. I guess I lost...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I doubt that even MTV wants to reward this one.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: An over the top Harrison Ford is enjoyable, but his easy turn from the “bad guy” to the “good guy” makes his character a big mess. And Daniel Craig is always fun to watch in my opinion, but in this story, even his charisma couldn’t keep me from looking at my watch. Olivia Wilde is a hottie, for sure. She says very little in the film until a dumb plot twist makes her say a lot. Not necessarily a good thing...

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The strong suit of an action film should be the action sequences. Jon Favreau did well with the first Iron Man, but this is a different story. The action is just okay. Not a single scene makes me want to see it again.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's just cowboys fighting aliens... which is its biggest draw and its biggest fault.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Cowboys & Aliens Trailer

Back To Top

Thor

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A sibling rivalry for the throne of the realm of Asgard causes Thor (Chris Hemsworth) to be banished to Earth, where he wreaks havoc as a mortal until he is mature enough to wield powers.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgard, Kat Dennings, Clark Gregg, Idris Elba, Colm Feore, Ray Stevenson, Tadanobu Asano, Josh Dallas, Jaimie Alexander, Rene Russo

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you're not up on the mythology, it becomes very difficult to follow what they're talking about and what they're doing at a certain point. Unfortunately, that certain point is the climax of the film, where it would've been really nice to know why the choices being made were supposed to be good ones.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: All the funny parts are in the trailer below.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Sadly, the ending is an unsatisfying cliffhanger. So, no, you won't cry. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure that saving your conclusion for the sequel, or for that matter, The Avengers, is an arrogant move, because it presupposed that I'm going to pay another $16 to see your next movie in obligatory 3D. This is especially ironic when you consider that the lesson of the film is "don't be arrogant." So it ends up not only being poor storytelling, but it also proves that the filmmakers don't even believe in the moral they're pushing.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Asgard is almost as beautiful a place as Pandora, with a name that sounds like some kind of chastity belt for your butt.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: That Chris Hemsworth is going places. He has an amazing presence in movie, although I'm not sure if it's from acting, or the fact that he's been c.g.i.netically enhanced to look like he's towering over everybody he stands next to that's not an Ice Giant.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Most impressive is the lighting which gives three distinct looks between Asgard, Jotunheim, and Earth.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's a strange mix of fantasy and reality, that only slightly works thanks to an off the cuff mention of Tony Stark, by Iron Man's own crossover-casting S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg).

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If you can stand to sit through 7 long minutes of credits accompanied by boring Foo Foo Fighters music, you will get to see yet another teaser leading up to The Avengers... Which is building up to be the most anticipated blockbuster of all time.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Thor Trailer

Back To Top

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls for a girl (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who has 7 evil exes that he must defeat, for no reason in particular.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Ellen Wong, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, Johnny Simmons, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaze, Chris Evans, Jason Schwartzman, Brandon Routh, Satya Bhabha, Brie Larson, Mae Whitman, Keita Saitou, Shota Saito, Ben Lewis

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This film is all style and no substance. But there always seems to be some idiot who gloms onto that sort of a thing and calls it a cult classic.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The style is pretty funny at times, but when I say style, I'm talking about dialogue more pretentious than in Juno.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, because you won't give a crap about anybody in it... not in you heart anyway.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Directing. Bet you didn't think I'd say that?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kieran Culkin steals the show because he has the best lines. And Anna Kendrick-- is there anything she's not in?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Edgar Wright's visuals are the only reason anyone will be fooled into thinking this is a good movie.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Don't expect to care about anybody, or even understand why Scott Pilgrim likes the girl he has to fight for. Also prepare to wonder where he gets his superpowers to fight these exes, why the exes turn into money when they are defeated, and by the way, how he defeats any of them, when in most cases it looks like they killed him first, multiple times. Basically, we are shown a surrealistic world of magical reality, but the rules of the world and the magic are never set up or explained to us.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It tries to be a live action videogame, probably in order to pander to the young male audience that no one seems to be able to reach because they're busy playing actual video games. Since there's no user participation in this viewing experience, I don't see any reason for that audience to come out and see this. So why don't we all just accept that that audience is done with movies, and start making movies for the people who actually like to go to them. Like, for example, girls.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/scott-pilgrim-vs-the-world/35215/trailers

Back To Top

Iron Man 2

(Guest Review by Annette)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Billionaire playboy/weapons specialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is back. The government wants him to hand over the Iron Man technology, the energy core is poisoning him, and there’s a bad Russian (Mickey Rourke) in town who is bent on revenge.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, Jon Favreau, Garry Shandling, Clark Gregg, John Slattery, Paul Bettany, Kate Mara, Leslie Bibb, Christiane Amanpour, Larry Ellison, DJ Am, Stan Lee, Olivia Munn, Jack White

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It’s not as good as the original, but if you like high-octane action (read: lots of stuff blowing up) and don’t mind a predictable storyline, go see Iron Man Part Deux.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: RDJ delivers the trademark Tony Stark snark. Expect a few chuckles, but don’t worry about popping your stitches.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you thought Mickey Rourke was hot in 9 ½ Weeks, you’ll spend the entire movie getting choked up about the fact that he never became a silver-fox like George Clooney.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The New Coke Award given out to all the sequels that just don’t live up to the original.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark. Like every character he takes on, you just can’t imagine any other actor in that role. Mickey Rourke makes an awesome villain without even trying; he’d be the first person you’d cast in a movie about Genghis Khan or Janice Dickinson. Sam Rockwell makes a great sleazy weasel—the kind that makes you wish you had a whack-a-mole mallet. Jackson and Cheadle are under-utilized and it's sad to see their talent wasted in such underdeveloped roles. ScarJo is merely a set decoration to ramp up the comic fanboy drool factor. Don’t ask me about Gwyneth Paltrow. She irks.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: CGI heavy.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Weighed down with too many subplots. Lots of things blow up. Tony Stark has clever dialogue. That pretty much sums it up.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I think Chelsea Handler is the only person who wouldn’t realize they swapped out Terrance Howard for Don Cheadle in the role of Lt. Col. Rhodey Rhodes. (see explanation of this joke here: http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/05/21/chelsea-handler-mixes-up-african-american-actors-video/)

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/iron-man-2/33909/trailers

Back To Top

The Losers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a comic book, The Losers are a team of covert operatives who are set up to be killed on a mission. Once they are presumed dead, they use their deceased status to get revenge on the man who tried to kill them.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada, Jason Patric, Holt McCallany, Peter Macdissi, Peter Francis James

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. At a certain point, when a genre starts to get over-saturated in the marketplace, you start to see movies that are clearly meant to cash in on the trend that has made others lots of money, but without the passion that led to the success of those original films. This movie is further proof that the comic book genre has gotten to that point.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The jokes are like, "Hardy-har-har, that was so funny I forgot to laugh."

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The good folks at Warner Brothers may cry when they realize that you have to put in a little more effort than that, if you want to get the return on investment I imagine they were hoping for.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: While it's completely improbable, I kinda hope they get nominated, because it's the only way I can figure to explain why they're called The Losers.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Zoe Saldana does a decent Latina accent. And Jason Patric is one of the best bad guys in acting. But there is something plain off about it when he tries to do it for laughs. It's like when DeNiro does the Analyze This movies, and you feel like he's spoofing himself.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's like an intricate collage of shots borrowed from previously released comic book movies. Even the opening credits sequence has been done before. This is especially disappointing when you consider that Sylvain White was trained by Michel Gondry.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Not only is the dialogue right out of the play book, but the twists are upsetting and unredemptive, and the ending is unsatisfying. Here's a piece of advice: why don't you try to make a movie that works before you start worrying about leaving things dangling for the sequel.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-losers/21411/trailers

Back To Top

Kick-Ass

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A high school nobody (Aaron Johnson) decides to become a superhero, by buying a skin-tight outfit and making pathetic efforts to fight crime. But soon, he gets mixed up in some trouble that goes all the way to the top of the mob.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, Nicolas Cage, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Lyndsy Fonseca, Mark Strong, Clark Duke, Evan Peters, Michael Rispoli, Omari Hardwick, Xander Berkeley

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It's a fun, fast-paced ride, filled with geek power and girl power. But be warned, it's not rated R by accident. The violence is in your face, and at times really hard to stomach.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is both dark and broad, which is a rare combination, almost never seen in an action comedy.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Rarely has death been treated so nonchalantly.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I can't see any reason why it wouldn't be nominated for Best Fight at the MTV Awards. And Best Batman costume at a local Halloween party.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: You heard it here first, folks, Aaron Johnson and Logan Lerman are the same person. And you thought it was hard to tell Naomi Watts and Maria Bello apart! Oh, and lookout Elle Fanning, there's a new totally adorable, miniature actress in town: Chloe Grace Moretz is kick-ass.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Super-duper-excellent. Great action, and some of the best transitions I've ever seen.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story is mostly predictable and there's a lot of unexplained suspension of disbelief (especially when it comes to questions of reality, like "Why isn't anyone going to jail for this stuff?" and "How come child services hasn't taken Hit-Girl away from Big Daddy?"), so in the hands of the wrong director, this script could've gone down a very ugly road.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/kick-ass/39243/trailers

Back To Top

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Where did Wolverine come from? How did he get to be the way he is? You will find out, but he won't.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Will.i.am, Lynn Collins, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. After resisting seeing this movie, I have to say, it's not nearly as bad as you think it's going to be. I'd even go so far as to admit that it's a lot of fun-- so long as you don't require any elements that you've never seen before in a film.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are several efforts made, but none of them are successful.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I hope you don't mind fingernails on a chalkboard, because in a movie featuring so many characters with remarkable nails, you're bound to get a lot of them scratching up things... and the flesh is almost easier to take than the metal.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: How great is Weapon XI? Best bad guy ever! Talk about having it all!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As good of an actor as Hugh Jackman is, I sometimes have a hard time getting past his total thespianism. His posture in the the way he walks, and stands, and glares is so actor-y to me, that I don't always see a tough guy-killer, but rather a sweet, family man, who likes to take on interesting roles. And I love Danny Huston, but the mere fact that he's cast in a role, gives away who the bad guy is going to be. He needs to play some nice guys soon, to bring back that element of surprise.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing is fast-paced and move-y. So much so, that it inspired me to make up a word... only to realize that the word already exists, and it's spelled, "movie." But, yeah, I thought the directing was great.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The fights, the superpowers, the special effects, are all there. And the story is absolutely adequate, too. They kind of had it easy though, since we already know that Wolverine doesn't remember his past, from the X-Men movies we've already seen. So the writers could basically do anything, because they have to erase his memory by the end, for continuity, so this story is ultimately irrelevant to the rest of the lore.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Do not stay for the little scene after the credits. It's not nearly interesting enough to justify sitting through approximately 17 minutes of visual effects credits.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/x-men-origins-wolverine/30722/trailers

Back To Top

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Hellboy returns to save humanity from a forgotten Prince, who is disillusioned with the human race and wants to raise his mechanical, Golden Army from their slumber, in order to do away with peace and people.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Jeffrey Tambor, Doug Jones, Seth MacFarlane, Luke Goss, Anna Watson, John Hurt

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For a movie that's been so critically praised, it sure has a lot of illogical and boring parts. My conclusion, people are crazy in love with Guillermo del Toro. Unfortunately, your love for del Toro's directing can blind you to the fact that he's not a very good writer.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a scene where they get drunk and listen to Barry Manilow. It's funny, but it also feels like it belongs to a different movie. Like Tropic Thunder.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I had heard this film had a lot of heart... I looked for it... Who knows, maybe I'm the one who's heartless.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The makeup is great, but also feels ripped off from Pan's Labyrinth.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Everyone is good except Selma Blair, who exudes none of the sense of powerfulness that seems requisite to a superhero character. She's cute. She's pouty. But I think you could knock her over with a feather. Even when she's on fire.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: When it comes to the directing, even I am crazy in love with Guillermo del Toro.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I didn't buy it. The bad guys could've easily won about 40 minutes in, if they had wanted to. And again 50 minutes in, and a few other times, too. The conceit of a twin brother and sister being able to read each other's thoughts ruins all the suspense, and forces the bad twin to let the good guys off the hook too many times. Even the final twist is obvious, causing you to wonder why the good guys didn't figure it out before you did.

Back To Top