Prom

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The most uninteresting and unoriginal problems that an ensemble of teens in an imaginary high school might encounter around going to Prom.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Aimee Teegarden, Thomas McDonell, DeVaughn Nixon, Danielle Campbell, Yin Chang, Jared Kusnitz, Nolan Sotillo, Cameron Monaghan, Kylie Bunbury, Joe Adler, Janelle Ortiz, Jonathan Keltz, Nicholas Braun, Raini Rodriguez, Christine Elise McCarthy, Dean Norris, Faith Ford, Jere Burns

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This movie makes me so angry. It has cliché dialogue and storylines, no energy whatsoever, and adds absolutely nothing to the teen movie genre. The best way to describe it is completely unnecessary.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The only thing that made me laugh was the animalistic squealing of two thirteen year old girl across the row, who could hardly contain their teen angst every time the pulchritudinous Thomas McDonell strutted into frame. And when I say he strutted into frame every time, I am neither joking, nor exaggerating.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Oh, I'm crying alright! I have written three great teen comedies, all of which actually have plots-- I know, crazy-- and all of which have premises-- i.e. concepts that add something new to the teen comedy genre. My movies have been well received by Hollywood execs who have wanted to make them, but couldn't pass them up the ladder because, "Teen movies aren't making money, right now, so nobody's making them, and I have nowhere to sell this." I was really counting on this movie to bring the whole genre back into vogue. But this movie is so awful, it makes me never want to see another teen movie again. And in case you weren't paying attention, I've written 3 of them!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Well Behaved Teenagers of the New Millenium. What makes this group so special? In the whole movie, I didn't see one of them talk on a cell phone, text, or tweet. And here I thought that was an impossibility... But I guess not when you have a modern day high school movie where the filmmakers forgot that it's no longer 1983.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Let me describe the depth of characters to you. There's the blond peppy girl, the tall nerdy guy, the sweet underclassmen, the jock who cheats (and looks about 35), the popular girl who's confident even when things go bad, and the guy who looks like a young Johnny Depp and drives a motorcycle because he's a bad boy. I defy anyone to find more to any of those characters than I've put down here.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Joe Nussbaum has directed both straight to video movies, and theatrical movies that nobody saw until they came out on video. His work here should continue nicely in that direction.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I read in The Hollywood Reporter last week that Katie Wech, who wrote this movie, has already been hired to write another movie for Disney that may be a sequel to Prom. Having seen this movie, I have come to the conclusion that the "news" article I read was only given to the press to create false buzz, by pretending that Prom would be worthy of a sequel, which clearly it's not.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Rich Ross was recently appointed the new Chairman of Disney, and this movie is the first to come out that was developed by his regime. Ever since he's become the head, no one in Hollywood seems to be able to figure out what Disney wants to be. But if this is it, I have a stock tip for you: SELL!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Prom Trailer

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TRON: Legacy 3D

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fearless rebel (Garrett Hedlund) enters a dangerous video game to try to find his father (Jeff Bridges), who disappeared when he was a boy.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, Michael Sheen, James Frain, Beau Garrett, Cillian Murphy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. From the Benjamin Buttons effect to the live action video game play, the special effects are impressive. Everything else about the movie is painful.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: You know, making even a single attempt at humor might've been a good idea. You don't get to make a silly movie about being a live player running around a video game AND take yourself seriously.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's a sad story about childhood abandonment by a father trapped in a gilded cage, but I didn't cry. Maybe because I was so busy wondering what I was doing at a movie that could only appeal to 10-year-old boys. No, that's not it. It's because the writing sucked.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hope the visual effects get a nomination, because otherwise, this the biggest waste of $300 million I've ever seen.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Garrett Hedlund had me thinking, "Why this guy?" I have to imagine they picked him because he was cheap, and they needed a nobody to counteract the high cost of special effects. But still, there are so many nobodies running around L.A. looking for a job like this one, so, "Why this guy?" Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, had me thinking, "I know why this guy!" He plays two versions of himself, and so convincingly that you sometimes forget he's talking to himself. Separately, I should mention that it's great to see Michael Sheen playing a character that's not Tony Blair.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Okay, so the guy can do special effects. But truth be told, as they were playing their death-games with their little disks, I rarely had any idea who was winning, how they were winning, what the rules were, why somebody died or disintegrated while somebody else didn't, or even who was playing to begin with. And my inability to follow the action is directly related to how the action is directed.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Father and son stories easily lend themselves to heartfelt, universal emotions, but when you bring dialogue like "The Creator" and "His Son" into it, you patronize the Christian audience you're trying to pretend this was made for, and you alienate everybody else. Not to mention that the sci-tech talk is incomprehensible, and the emotional talk is trite. But, yeah, go see it for the special effects, everybody! I know how important those are to you.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Daft Punk is getting a lot of notoriety for doing the techno-score, but musically, the thing that impressed me the most was the use of Journey to harken the 1980s, when Tron was born... Although I beg you not to do the math on that, because if Sam's dad disappeared when old- fashioned video games and arcades were still hot, Sam should be a lot closer to 37 than 27-- which is the age that he says he is... Then again, based on the city they live in and the technological advances, the movie takes place some time in the future, so realistically, he's probably closer to 127.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: TRON: Legacy Trailer
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Life as We Know It

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Josh Duhamel) and woman (Kathrine Heigl), who barely tolerate each other, are thrown together to raise a child, after their best friends die, leaving behind a newborn orphan girl.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Josh Lucas, Alexis Clagett, Brynn Clagett, Brooke Clagett, Hayes MacArthur, Christina Hendricks, Sarah Burns, Melissa McCarthy, Britt Flatmo, Jessica St. Clair, Rob Huebel, Andrew Daly, Bill Brochtrup, Will Sasso, DeRay Davis, Kamail Nanjiani

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you feel inclined to see this movie, you will probably enjoy it, despite its predictability, because Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel are so damn cute together.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are a few good laughs, but Katherine Heigl having poo on her face isn't one of them. That's just gross.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Did you read the plot description? Their best friends die!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If I had to pick something in this movie to give an award to, it would definitely have to be the face painting. They are the 3 cutest cats I've ever seen. And in case you forgot this extremely important fact about me: I hate cats.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: In this role, Josh Duhamel is the best, cutest, and most charming he's ever been, and his chemistry with Katherine Heigl may just be worth repeating. He's also very tan for some reason.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The sequence after the best friends die dragged on for me, because after a brief moment of almost crying, I quickly felt emotionally neutral. I know the filmmakers had to get past that death-y part as fast as possible if they were ever going to regain any levity in the premise, but something was missing, as I was never pulled into what they must've been going through in a real way, in my heart.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Even though they supposedly dislike each other, it is clear from the start that this man and woman have a very comfortable and relaxed rapport, so it feels like they're together long before they actually are. This is a problem because once the hatred(ish) is gone between them, the only obstacle they have to overcome is a minor crush that Katherine Heigl's character has on the baby's doctor.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/life-as-we-know-it/38945/trailers

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The Kids Are All Right

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A lesbian couple (Julianne Moore and Annette Bening) has their life turned upside-down when their teenage son and daughter (Josh Hutcherson and Mia Wasikowska) track down their sperm-donor dad (Mark Ruffalo).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson, Yaya DaCosta, Kunal Sharma, Eddie Hassell, Zosia Mamet, Joaquin Garrido

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This deliberately independent film is not spoon fed, nor does it get completely resolved and tied up in a happy little bow for you. It's more interested in showing the trials and tribulations of life as it really is... first difficult, and then disappointing.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is a smattering of awkward moments that will cause individualized chuckling.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If only people could visualize the repercussions of following their momentary sexual whims, before the aftermath has ruined their life, there would be a lot less heartbreak in the world.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Mark Ruffalo's character is so hard to pin down, that you can't help but admire the fact that no other actor could have portrayed this particular combination of aloofness and unconditional love. At the same time, it's one of those performances that's almost too good to get noticed as having been acting.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: With a cast like this you go in expecting the best, and come out with your expectations exceeded.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Lisa Cholodenko films Los Angeles with so much love that she makes it look like any nice normal American suburb, where even the most God-fearing of average Americans would want to live.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: What's really heart-warming about the execution of this story is that even though it revolves around a family with two matriarchs, the marriage is portrayed in a way that is filled with the same love, familiarity, and contempt that any male-female husband and wife relationship would have. Before long, you forget that you are watching a family of four with two moms, and you realize that you are simply watching a movie about a family that is about as together as they come-- in other words, hardly at all.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-kids-are-all-right/10025812/trailers

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Knight and Day

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A spy (Tom Cruise) uses a random girl (Cameron Diaz) as a mule and ends up having to protect her from corrupt FBI agents and drug lords who are all after the device he is trying to keep safe... I think.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Jordi Molla, Viola Davis, Paul Dano, Falk Hentschel, Marc Blucas, Lennie Loftin, Maggie Grace, Celia Weston

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For a film as seemingly run of the mill as this, I was surprised by how convoluted and confusing the plot was. I was also surprised by how much I enjoyed it despite my constant state of confusion.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The romantic parts probably will. I'm not sure they're supposed to. But when you laugh at the kissing scenes, at least it gives new meaning to the term romantic-comedy.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Isn't it ironic that when one person dies in a film, it can be so sad, and yet when one person dies per minute, we don't feel anything at all?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm pretty sure I already gave out the Best Mustache Award this year, so it's only fitting that there should be an award for Worst Mustache. Was Paul Dano good in this film? I have no idea, because every time he was on screen, all I could think about was what the make-up person could possibly have been thinking by shaving off the right middle of his mustache. No character, no matter how weird would wear their mustache like that, unless they were kidnapped mid-shave. Hey, maybe that was in the original cut of the movie? If anyone gets the DVD and watches the extras, let me know... Or don't. I don't really care all that much.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Tom Cruise is still a good actor, but he's totally over. His persona has gotten too big and too ugly to leave room on his face for any character he's supposed to be inhabiting. But don't take my word for it, ask any one of the 7 people I asked to go see this movie with me, all of which turned me down due to either his presence in the movie or his evil smile's.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Did you know that when good guys run into a stream of bullets coming from all sides they always come out unscathed? Neither did I, but it turns out that the same is true of driving head-on into traffic going the wrong way down a one way tunnel for five minutes or more. I know I'm not supposed to care, but when the action gets too preposterous, I start to miss the final scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I found myself thinking much too hard to understand why he was involved with her in the first place. At the beginning of the movie, the choice to bump into her seems very deliberate and specific, as if he had been looking for her and then she showed up, but as the film goes on, you come to realize that in order for it all to make sense, she had to have been picked completely at random, in which case his acting was just a red herring.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/knight-and-day/38099/trailers

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The Book of Eli

(Guest Review by Tempany)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Eli (Denzel Washington) fights his way across a post apocalyptic world to safely deliver the supposed last St James Bible into safe hands.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Malcom McDowell

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Do not let ANYONE trick you into paying for this movie. They should be paying you. Not only is it a poor man’s version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Several of the hair and wardrobe choices will give you a giggle. Particularly Malcolm McDowell’s hair and Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you paid for it and then you will be a bit weepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Razzies for everything. Although the fight scenes were pretty good… MTV’s best kung-fu kick award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mila Kunis sure is cute and made a nice transition from TV to the big screen with Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But in The Book of Eli she is way out of her league - some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. Tom Waits has a nice little cameo and Denzel is solid. Gary Oldman does his evil guy schtick, but what the movie really needed was the complexity of Ian McShane’s ‘Al Swearingen’ from Deadwood.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They just got the whole thing wrong. Even though it’s set in the future, the Hughes brothers obviously need to stay in the world of sci-fi future and not gritty realism future. There are so many bad choices that this film never had a chance in hell of being good.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure it out – and not because it was clever and tricky. If there was supposed to be a religious message, I never grasped it because I was so distracted by how nothing made sense.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Fighting from the Matrix, warrior girl shots of Mila Kunis channeling Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft, Malcom McDowell stealing wig ideas from Christopher Lloyd, and almost identical cannibal warriors from The Road, makes The Book of Eli a million movies mashed into one very bad one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-book-of-eli/30184/trailers

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Where did Wolverine come from? How did he get to be the way he is? You will find out, but he won't.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Will.i.am, Lynn Collins, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. After resisting seeing this movie, I have to say, it's not nearly as bad as you think it's going to be. I'd even go so far as to admit that it's a lot of fun-- so long as you don't require any elements that you've never seen before in a film.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are several efforts made, but none of them are successful.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I hope you don't mind fingernails on a chalkboard, because in a movie featuring so many characters with remarkable nails, you're bound to get a lot of them scratching up things... and the flesh is almost easier to take than the metal.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: How great is Weapon XI? Best bad guy ever! Talk about having it all!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As good of an actor as Hugh Jackman is, I sometimes have a hard time getting past his total thespianism. His posture in the the way he walks, and stands, and glares is so actor-y to me, that I don't always see a tough guy-killer, but rather a sweet, family man, who likes to take on interesting roles. And I love Danny Huston, but the mere fact that he's cast in a role, gives away who the bad guy is going to be. He needs to play some nice guys soon, to bring back that element of surprise.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing is fast-paced and move-y. So much so, that it inspired me to make up a word... only to realize that the word already exists, and it's spelled, "movie." But, yeah, I thought the directing was great.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The fights, the superpowers, the special effects, are all there. And the story is absolutely adequate, too. They kind of had it easy though, since we already know that Wolverine doesn't remember his past, from the X-Men movies we've already seen. So the writers could basically do anything, because they have to erase his memory by the end, for continuity, so this story is ultimately irrelevant to the rest of the lore.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Do not stay for the little scene after the credits. It's not nearly interesting enough to justify sitting through approximately 17 minutes of visual effects credits.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/x-men-origins-wolverine/30722/trailers

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Easy Virtue

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Set in the UK in the 1920s, the prodigal son (Ben Barnes) of a rich family returns home with an older woman (Jessica Biel), whom he's already married, and who is American. And so his mother (Kristin Scott Thomas) sets to breaking them apart.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jessica Biel, Ben Barnes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Colin Firth, Kimberley Nixon, Katherine Parkinson, Kris Marshall, Charlotte Riley, Christian Brassington, Pip Torrens

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Based on a Noel Coward play, the fast paced farcical tone gets off to a good start, but about 20 minutes in, you realize that this movie has no plot, and the story element that would've made the catty goings-on more interesting is not revealed until 20 minutes before the end.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The dialogue is quick witted, but you might want to brush up on your proper English listening comprehension skills, because in some parts it is so fast and thrown away that you completely miss what they're saying.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Maybe, if you've ever had in-laws. But probably not.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Can you imagine how insulted Kristin Scott Thomas must have been when she found out she was going to be acting up against 7th Heaven's Jessica Biel? Apparently she put all that anger into this role, and it served her well because she has already won a couple of acting awards in Great Britain for this film.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jessica Biel is pretty, but she's completely miscast as the older woman. Not only does she not appear to be older than her husband, but in real life, she's several months younger than Ben Barnes. The whole movie would have made a lot more sense if they had gotten Charlize Theron or Angelina Jolie. Another reason those actresses would've been more impactful, is that they wouldn't look so ridiculous trying to act next to top tier professionals like Kristin Scott Thomas and Colin Firth. On a positive note, I'd like to ask you all to look out for Kimberley Nixon, a fairly newcomer, who really does hold her own next to these old pros. I see a big career in her future.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Even though it is an adaptation of a play, and takes place primarily all on one giant estate, it never feels too small or boxed in to be a movie.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The script, on the other hand, does not escape the play-to-movie transition unscathed. A play and a movie don't have the same format. In a play, the audience is more patient, and you can leave certain key plot points and underlying emotional motivations until the end. But in a movie format, the audience is accustomed to knowing why a character is being unreasonably cruel much earlier, so that they can feel deeply for both the villain and the victim, and experience the moral dilemma of choosing sides. If the screenwriters had introduced the pivotal plot piece twenty minutes into the film instead of twenty minutes from the end, they might have had a movie. But as it sits now, they have a very cinematic play.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/easy%20virtue/trailers

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