The Book of Eli

(Guest Review by Tempany)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Eli (Denzel Washington) fights his way across a post apocalyptic world to safely deliver the supposed last St James Bible into safe hands.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Malcom McDowell

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Do not let ANYONE trick you into paying for this movie. They should be paying you. Not only is it a poor man’s version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Several of the hair and wardrobe choices will give you a giggle. Particularly Malcolm McDowell’s hair and Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you paid for it and then you will be a bit weepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Razzies for everything. Although the fight scenes were pretty good… MTV’s best kung-fu kick award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mila Kunis sure is cute and made a nice transition from TV to the big screen with Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But in The Book of Eli she is way out of her league - some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. Tom Waits has a nice little cameo and Denzel is solid. Gary Oldman does his evil guy schtick, but what the movie really needed was the complexity of Ian McShane’s ‘Al Swearingen’ from Deadwood.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They just got the whole thing wrong. Even though it’s set in the future, the Hughes brothers obviously need to stay in the world of sci-fi future and not gritty realism future. There are so many bad choices that this film never had a chance in hell of being good.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure it out – and not because it was clever and tricky. If there was supposed to be a religious message, I never grasped it because I was so distracted by how nothing made sense.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Fighting from the Matrix, warrior girl shots of Mila Kunis channeling Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft, Malcom McDowell stealing wig ideas from Christopher Lloyd, and almost identical cannibal warriors from The Road, makes The Book of Eli a million movies mashed into one very bad one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-book-of-eli/30184/trailers

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Hamlet 2

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A down on his luck drama teacher (Steve Coogan) tries to put on the play of his life, with a bunch of apathetic students, to try to save the drama program from being phased out.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, David Arquette, Amy Poehler, Melonie Diaz, Elisabeth Shue, Marshall Bell, Joseph Julian Soria, Skylar Astin, Phoebe Strole, Michael Esparza, Arnie Pantoja, Natalie Amenula, Shea Pepe

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! This quirky little film is full of unexpected dialogue and unconventional (read: inappropriate) teaching methods. Like when a teacher asks a student to punch him in the gut, what lesson would you guess he's trying to teach that student? Because I have no clue, and I can't guarantee that seeing the movie will answer that question for you either.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Everyone may not laugh at the same time, but you'll all find something to laugh at.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not likely, but you will find yourself tapping your feet and singing along to the catchy musical theater number, "Rock me, sexy Jesus."

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the honor of being the highest priced sale at Sundance this year, so that's pretty big.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Steve Coogan is so Steve Coogan in this one. If you like Steve Coogan's schtick, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you don't know Steve Coogan's schtick, this would be a good introduction to it. And Catherine Keener, who's naturally more suited to play edgier roles than fluffy love-interests, has an opportunity to show us what she does best-- which is be unhappy and in your face about it.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Although I have no idea what the final stage play was about or how it had anything to do with Hamlet 1 (as they hilariously call William Shakespeare's little dramatic frivolity), I was drawn in by the staging and design of the piece.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I'm not sure at all about the logic behind pretty much everything in the third act, but if I don't scratch my head too hard, I realize that I still had fun. Just don't think about it.

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