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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Book of Eli


(Guest Review by Tempany)

Q: What’s the movie about?


A: Eli (Denzel Washington) fights his way across a post apocalyptic world to safely deliver the supposed last St James Bible into safe hands.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Malcom McDowell

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! Do not let ANYONE trick you into paying for this movie. They should be paying you. Not only is it a poor man’s version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Several of the hair and wardrobe choices will give you a giggle. Particularly Malcolm McDowell’s hair and Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you paid for it and then you will be a bit weepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Razzies for everything. Although the fight scenes were pretty good… MTV’s best kung-fu kick award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mila Kunis sure is cute and made a nice transition from TV to the big screen with Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But in The Book of Eli she is way out of her league - some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. Tom Waits has a nice little cameo and Denzel is solid. Gary Oldman does his evil guy schtick, but what the movie really needed was the complexity of Ian McShane’s ‘Al Swearingen’ from Deadwood.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They just got the whole thing wrong. Even though it’s set in the future, the Hughes brothers obviously need to stay in the world of sci-fi future and not gritty realism future. There are so many bad choices that this film never had a chance in hell of being good.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure it out – and not because it was clever and tricky. If there was supposed to be a religious message, I never grasped it because I was so distracted by how nothing made sense.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Fighting from the Matrix, warrior girl shots of Mila Kunis channeling Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft, Malcom McDowell stealing wig ideas from Christopher Lloyd, and almost identical cannibal warriors from The Road, makes The Book of Eli a million movies mashed into one very bad one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-book-of-eli/30184/trailers

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6 comments:

Kenny Wyland said...

I actually liked this movie, although I'm a sucker for the "unstoppable agent" movie which usually comes in the form of an ex/rogue CIA agent but this will do. Denzel was definitely strong in it and I'd agree that Mila Kunis let some of her 70s Show/Family Guy out. I remember her yelling a line like "You're such a liar" and thinking she sounded exactly like Jackie or Meg from the aforementioned shows.

What where the big plot holes that bothered you? I didn't think it was an air tight movie, but I didn't think there were any truck-sized plot holes.

ProMovieBlogger said...

"Not only is it a poor man’ version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released."

HAHAHA. You might have actually worded it better than I did.

my The Book of Eli movie review:
http://film-book.com/film-review-the-book-of-eli/

"Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier."

Lol. I pointed out some of this as well.That zen outfit was ridiculous but I missed the hipster one.

I paid for the film but its a tax write off for me:
http://promovieblogger.com/tax-writeoffs-movie-website-owners/

Man I miss Deadwood. I wish season 4 had happened.

Monique Elisabeth said...

I'm posting this reply on behalf of Tempany-- the guest reviewer for this post, as I, thankfully, did not see this movie:

"Without ruining the movie for those who've yet to view it, I'll say three things about the plot holes; 1. Denzel looks everyone in the eye for the whole movie. This is not possible if you are you-know-what. 2. Gary Oldman tells us that the Bible corrupts people and causes war and fear. That it can control the people and that's where its power lays...Denzel never tells us how/why it does any good. But he's determined to get it to a library in Alcatraz....hmm. 3. Denzel is divinely protected while trying to get the book to the library, but suddenly he's not when Gary Oldman shoots him. He thinks it's because God wants him to give Gary the bible. He's decided he can just dictate the bible and have it rewritten. Why didn't his divine intuition suggest that in the first place? It would have saved him a lot of time."

Kenny Wyland said...

heh, well I don't think you were successful in avoiding spoilers with #1. However... I don't think #1 is true. He doesn't look people in the eyes, he simply looks at them or looks straight forward. #2 isn't actually a plot hole. The audience understands why religion is considered positive, we don't need Denzel's character to give us a sermon about the benefits of faith. In fact that kind of exposition would have been contrary to his character. #3... well, seriously... all movies with any sort of supernatural aspect can be completely reduced to nothing if you just want to evoke total knowledge of the situation.

Again, I don't think the movie is air-tight or anything, but these really don't qualify as plot holes.

Movie Time With Titty said...

ha! i totally wanted to like this movie...i just couldnt. i really wanted to, but it just never clicked. and was it just me or did denzels eyes wait until the very end to get all crossed and everything?

i3lh4m said...

Thanks for good review