Amazon Holiday

Friday, December 16, 2011

War Horse

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A boy and his horse are separated during World War I, and we follow the horse's journey through the war.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson, Niels Arestrup, David Thewlis, Tom Hiddleston, Bnedict Cumberbatch, Celine Buckens, Toby Kebbell, Patrick Kennedy, Leonard Carow, David Kross, Matt Milne, Robert Emms, Eddie Marsan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  PhotobucketStop!  I can see the little old church ladies now, watching this movie on TV and then telling their grandchildren, "Oh, wasn't that a nice picture?"  They are the only ones who feel that way.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  I laughed several times at how ridiculously improbable every other beat in the movie was-- starting with the way the boy acquires the horse.  Any decent screenwriter knows that you can't have more than one coincidence in a script.  This movie is built around them.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Horse lovers might, but I'd like to prevent that by reminding them that horses don't really think like humans do.  That's just a movie device.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  I think it's time to give Spielberg the Lifetime Achievement Award, because based on the movies I've seen in the last two nights, he has clearly passed his peak.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  People regularly have giant reactions to absolutely nothing; reactions that last longer than the final shot in a soap opera scene.  How do I know this style is outdated?  All of the soap operas just got cancelled.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  It's 2 1/2 hours of melodramatic acting with melodramatic music, shot in exteriors that are lit like they are on a sound stage from the 1950s.  Need I say more?

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  There is one good scene in the entire movie, and I'd seen that one done before too. 

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: War Horse Trailer

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ArtsBeatLA said...

Oh no! I was all set to be swept away by Spielberg's usual overblown emotionality. I *adored* Anna Sewell's book Black Beauty.

Perhaps this story should have stayed on the stage...

Monique said...

Well maybe you would like this movie too then. I thought it was so melodramatic that it just seemed ridiculous. But if you have a history of liking this type of material, maybe the melodrama won't bug you so much.

I did meet some women in the bathroom who said they were crying the whole time (at the horse cruelty I think).

But it's also possible that Black Beauty is just a better story.

Andy Buckle said...

It's bad isn't it? Who is this film for? It's too corny for adults, and too violent for kids. Way too long and episodic. The characters come and go, as if they are arriving on and exiting stage - and John Williams' score is the most overbearing one I have heard in some time.

The one good scene in the film was done by Stanley Kubrick about 50 years ago!

Monique said...

I didn't even have time in this review to mention the episodic nature of the story. The humans come and go, leaving the horse as the only main character. Is that allowed, when it's not a talking horse? Or an animated movie where it's accepted that animals talk and think like humans. Yes, it's a problem. You never become attached to anyone.