Q: What’s the movie about?
A: A boy and his horse are separated during World War I, and we follow the horse's journey through the war.
Q: Who’s in the movie?
A: Jeremy Irvine, Peter Mullan, Emily Watson, Niels Arestrup, David Thewlis, Tom Hiddleston, Bnedict Cumberbatch, Celine Buckens, Toby Kebbell, Patrick Kennedy, Leonard Carow, David Kross, Matt Milne, Robert Emms, Eddie Marsan
Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?
A: Stop! I can see the little old church ladies now, watching this movie on TV and then telling their grandchildren, "Oh, wasn't that a nice picture?" They are the only ones who feel that way.
Q: Will this movie make me laugh?
A: I laughed several times at how ridiculously improbable every other beat in the movie was-- starting with the way the boy acquires the horse. Any decent screenwriter knows that you can't have more than one coincidence in a script. This movie is built around them.
Q: Will this movie make me cry?
A: Horse lovers might, but I'd like to prevent that by reminding them that horses don't really think like humans do. That's just a movie device.
Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?
A: I think it's time to give Spielberg the Lifetime Achievement Award, because based on the movies I've seen in the last two nights, he has clearly passed his peak.
Q: How is the Acting?
A: People regularly have giant reactions to absolutely nothing; reactions that last longer than the final shot in a soap opera scene. How do I know this style is outdated? All of the soap operas just got cancelled.
Q: How is the Directing?
A: It's 2 1/2 hours of melodramatic acting with melodramatic music, shot in exteriors that are lit like they are on a sound stage from the 1950s. Need I say more?
Q: How is the story/script?
A: There is one good scene in the entire movie, and I'd seen that one done before too.
Q: Where can I see the trailer?
A: War Horse Trailer
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