Amazon Holiday

Saturday, April 30, 2011


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The most uninteresting and unoriginal problems that an ensemble of teens in an imaginary high school might encounter around going to Prom.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Aimee Teegarden, Thomas McDonell, DeVaughn Nixon, Danielle Campbell, Yin Chang, Jared Kusnitz, Nolan Sotillo, Cameron Monaghan, Kylie Bunbury, Joe Adler, Janelle Ortiz, Jonathan Keltz, Nicholas Braun, Raini Rodriguez, Christine Elise McCarthy, Dean Norris, Faith Ford, Jere Burns

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! This movie makes me so angry. It has cliché dialogue and storylines, no energy whatsoever, and adds absolutely nothing to the teen movie genre. The best way to describe it is completely unnecessary.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The only thing that made me laugh was the animalistic squealing of two thirteen year old girl across the row, who could hardly contain their teen angst every time the pulchritudinous Thomas McDonell strutted into frame. And when I say he strutted into frame every time, I am neither joking, nor exaggerating.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Oh, I'm crying alright! I have written three great teen comedies, all of which actually have plots-- I know, crazy-- and all of which have premises-- i.e. concepts that add something new to the teen comedy genre. My movies have been well received by Hollywood execs who have wanted to make them, but couldn't pass them up the ladder because, "Teen movies aren't making money, right now, so nobody's making them, and I have nowhere to sell this." I was really counting on this movie to bring the whole genre back into vogue. But this movie is so awful, it makes me never want to see another teen movie again. And in case you weren't paying attention, I've written 3 of them!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Well Behaved Teenagers of the New Millenium. What makes this group so special? In the whole movie, I didn't see one of them talk on a cell phone, text, or tweet. And here I thought that was an impossibility... But I guess not when you have a modern day high school movie where the filmmakers forgot that it's no longer 1983.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Let me describe the depth of characters to you. There's the blond peppy girl, the tall nerdy guy, the sweet underclassmen, the jock who cheats (and looks about 35), the popular girl who's confident even when things go bad, and the guy who looks like a young Johnny Depp and drives a motorcycle because he's a bad boy. I defy anyone to find more to any of those characters than I've put down here.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Joe Nussbaum has directed both straight to video movies, and theatrical movies that nobody saw until they came out on video. His work here should continue nicely in that direction.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I read in The Hollywood Reporter last week that Katie Wech, who wrote this movie, has already been hired to write another movie for Disney that may be a sequel to Prom. Having seen this movie, I have come to the conclusion that the "news" article I read was only given to the press to create false buzz, by pretending that Prom would be worthy of a sequel, which clearly it's not.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Rich Ross was recently appointed the new Chairman of Disney, and this movie is the first to come out that was developed by his regime. Ever since he's become the head, no one in Hollywood seems to be able to figure out what Disney wants to be. But if this is it, I have a stock tip for you: SELL!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Prom Trailer

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