Amazon Holiday

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fast Five

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: First of all, can you believe I saw this?! Got passes to a free screening and thought the poster looked cool, so I went to the 5th installment of The Fast and the Furious franchise, of which I've seen NONE of the the first four. So here's what I think it's about... There's this bad guy, and he befriended an undercover cop, but now the cop loves him, because he's dating the bad guy's sister, so he decides to break the bad guy out of jail, and now he's a bad guy, too. But really, they're both good guys.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Lucacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Joaquim de Almeida, Dwayne Johnson, Elsa Pataky, Michael Irby

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! It's loud! And crazy! And I think the heroes died about once every five minutes if this weren't a movie. But it really is adrenaline pumping, and anyone who takes it as pure fantasy, existing merely for the purpose of outlandish action, is gonna love it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. At the acting. I haven't seen the first four, so I'm assuming this is meant to be a spoof.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: They destroy at least $10 million worth of cars, so somebody should be crying. Like all those people who just lost their jobs and got their cars repoed recently. Look out for yours, it's probably in there getting smashed to bits.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I don't see how anyone could ever beat this in a vehicular stunt contest. I also think the guy who has to clean up the mess these guys leave in their wake should get an award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Vin Diesel makes the Rock look like an Oscar contender. And Paul Walker is so bland, that most actors would have to be lobotomized to do what he does. But at least the girls are bad-ass.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Sometimes when I watch all the different angles Justin Lin had to get to cover the action scenes and explosions, I think he must have a lot of patience. But don't cast The Rock and Vin Diesel in the same fight scene. In fast motion, it's impossible to tell their bald heads apart!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As a screenwriter myself, all I can say is, "How do they come up with this stuff?!" Oh, yeah, it's like this.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Fast Five Trailer

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Annette said...

You left out the part about Paul Walker still being a hot piece of man flesh. =P

Monique said...

Agreed. I was trying to pretend I'm selective by not admitting to liking every hot boy in every movie I see... And let's face it, if it weren't for that face, there wouldn't be any reason at all for him to have an acting career.

sunshine said...

thanks for including a link to the interview with the screenwriter...explained a lot of the complexities of the plot although i have one question. why was the Rock ALWAYS drenched in sweat, in every scene, when all the other actors were dry as a bone?? was this a reference to the prevalence of male menopause? for me, the movie was a case of the bald leading the bald though M. Darghis of the NY TIMES points out that the fight between Rock and Vin looked like the battle of two dicks, and you got to love that symbolism.

Monique said...

Hahaha! You are so funny! It did look like a giant penis battle. I can believe you saw this, actually. But thanks for once again pointing out something that was bugging me when I saw it-- the Rock's sweat-- that I totally forgot to write about. Yes, that was so weird.

ArtsBeatLA said...

"And let's face it, if it weren't for that face, there wouldn't be any reason at all for him to have an acting career."

That's *exactly* how I feel about Jordana Brewster. She actually makes Paul Walker look like Marlon Brando...

But yeah, the women were badass, but when I asked Ms Brewster what car she drove, she couldn't tell me!!

As for The Rock looking so sweaty -- here's my theory:

Clearly the guy uses a lot of steroids and so down in Rio he was probably hot all the time, and he really sweated and they couldn't keep on top of it, so they just made it part of his look. ALL the time. Even when others who had just run through the favelas (Elsa Pateky for e.g.) looked as fresh as a daisy.

I really liked the film before this one -- the reboot of the franchise.

What's not to like? Fast cars and hot men & cute women.

In this franchise the action is hot and heavy, the cars are cool and the stunts and chase sequences are mind-blowing and fantastic fun. Yeah, the dialogue’s a bit corny, but that’s almost compulsory with this kind of no-brainer action flick.

But Fast Five SUCKED because it was more a demolition derby than about car racing. Boo!

"Hey -- let's all go down to Rio and shoot Ocean's 13 meets Blues Brothers!"

Monique said...

Love your passion! Love your theories! Love that Jordana Brewster has no idea what car she drove! Good stuff!

Anonymous said...

Who will tell me fast six will happen or not? couse of Fast Five ending,it was gosty !

Monique said...

Fast 6 will happen. All that matters is how much money this one makes and it's made enough. So enjoy!