Pariah

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A semi-closeted teenage African-American lesbian comes of age.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Adepero Oduye, Pernell Walker, Aasha Davis, Kim Wayans, Charles Parnell, Sahra Mellesse, Zabryna Guevara, Kim Sykes

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  You've seen one lesbian coming of age film, you've seen them all.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  I laughed in my head when I realized that I spent the first 10 minutes of the movie trying to decide whether the main characters were women or men.  It was a seriously heated debate in there!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Going in I thought this would be this year's Precious.  But it's like a Disney Channel movie in comparison, breaking almost no new ground... Except maybe uncovering how women make themselves look like men.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won Cinematography at Sundance, which is especially surprising when you consider that all the out of focus shots were the one thing in this film that kept me annoyed throughout... Then again, most of what Sundance likes tends to annoy me, so I don't really know why I'm surprised.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  It is good to see Kim Wayans-- and in a dramatic role, no less!  I worked with her on a sit-com, back in the day, and I always thought she was one of the most under-rated talents I had ever come across.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The odd choices about where to center the focus in many shots is clearly deliberate and artistic, but it doesn't work.  It's distracting and looks like a mistake.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  For a film getting so much attention, it's surprising how little feels original about it.  I mean, who hasn't already seen at least one movie where the Black husband is a cheater, the teenage girl hates her mother, and the mother is a homophobe?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A:  Warning: despite the scary title, this is NOT a horror film or a video game.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Pariah Trailer

Back To Top

Biutiful

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A black-market-goods ringleader (Javier Bardem), who also has the ability to talk to the dead, finds out that he's dying of cancer, and has to figure out what to do about his 2 kids, who he doesn't want to leave to his crazy, bipolar, slut of an ex-wife.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Javier Bardem, Maricel Alvarez, Hanaa Bouchaib, Guillermo Estrella, Eduard Fernandez, Cheikh Ndiaye, Diaryatou Daff, Taisheng Cheng, Luo Jin

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. As I left the theater, I heard everyone saying the same thing, "That movie was very long!" And then there was that guy who said, "I feel like I just got punched in the gut."

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The main actress decided it would be an enjoyable character trait for us if she made herself a snorter when she laughs...

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: ...And when she cries. Which between her manic states and her depressive states, ends up being most of the time she talks. It gets pretty gross. Then again, it's one of the least gross things in the film.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's up for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. And after all my bashing of it, you're probably starting to wonder why. Well, despite being incredibly long and bleak, it's actually a very beautiful film that examines sides of life, death, and the guys selling illegal merchandise in the streets, that you may not have given much deep thought to before.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Javier Bardem is also up for an Oscar for his performance. It's a good performance because he's Javier Bardem, but he wouldn't have gotten the nomination for this if he weren't Javier Bardem. Maricel Alvarez (the snorter), is also pretty amazing, especially when you consider that she has tears in her eyes for almost every scene. But her character is pretty despicable.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu chooses interesting and unpredictable views from where to depict the actors' emotions. But it's also his fault that the majority of the audience left complaining about the length of the film , instead of the emotional impact it had on them. (2 1/2 hours + previews = sitting on your ass for almost 3 hours-- this is why directors need to study math in school.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Right when things start to get really bad, everything gets worse.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Biutiful Trailer

Back To Top

Behind the Burly Q

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Talking head documentary about the birth, life, and death of Burlesque in America.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: A bunch of very old sexy ladies and Alan Alda.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! While the subject matter should be fascinating, the film is so poorly compiled, that you almost had to be there to know who's who. This reduces the demographic to men over 70, and since that's about the age when most people get some form of dementia or Alzheimer's, that reduces the audience to about 3 people.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I found the amount of plastic surgery on these ex-burlesque dancers to be humorous. But don't get me wrong, some of them looked hot!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's a problem for me that it's not emotionally compelling, despite the fact that most of these women tell the devastatingly horrible stories of the childhoods which led them to taking off their clothes for money... Well, I guess some things never change.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I was very impressed with the eyelashes. Obviously they were falsies, but they came in so many different shapes and sizes, that it seemed like women could really express themselves with the eyelashes they chose. Kind of like how we use shoes these days.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Not dissimilarly to today, most of these showgirls were failed actresses, so it's not surprising that they discussed their sordid pasts on camera like it was the most important accomplishment anyone had ever achieved. But actually, it did sound like an interesting life of travel and hard work, if you don't count the part about having to take off your clothes for a bunch of lecherous men who are objectifying you in their minds.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Leslie Zemeckis' ability to acquire archival footage is impressive, but her ability to put it together into a story that makes sense and is easy to follow leaves a lot to be desired. Most of the time, I had no idea who the talking heads were talking about or what the talker's significance was in the burlesque movement. Were the women interviewed the biggest stars? Were they the girls on the sidelines who watched the big stars make it, while they stood in the wings? If I had been told upfront, even just that, I would have become more involved in the whole thing. Most of the time I didn't even know who was talking. It got tiring, and then it started to feel too long.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It does get you thinking about how when you grow old you lose your secret weapon of beauty, and how tough that is for those of us who have learned to rely on our good looks to get what we want. There are also a lot of interesting tidbits about history, but it's just not strong enough to be watched as anything more than a television documentary on the History Channel, and I have no idea how it got theatrical distribution.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=189Zme-Ioh8

Back To Top

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A master car salesman (Jeremy Piven) is called into a struggling car dealership to save them from bankruptcy, and there, he is forced to face his own difficult past.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, James Brolin, David Koechner, Kathryn Hahn, Ed Helms, Jordana Spiro, Tony Hale, Ken Jeong, Rob Riggle, Alan Thicke, Charles Napier, Jonathan Sadowski, Noureen DeWulf, Craig Robinson, Wendie Malick, Will Ferrell (uncredited)

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you can get past how incredibly stupid and ridiculous this movie is, it actually kind of grows on you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you can get past how incredibly stupid and ridiculous the humor is, it actually kind of grows on you.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you can get past how incredibly stupid and ridiculous the emotions are, they actually kind of grow on you.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I see some Golden Popcorn in this movie's future. Mostly because they have a category called Best WTF Moment.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This movie has the greatest smattering of B-level character actors to ever grace the screen at one time, in the complete absence of any A-listers... Or at least not any that are credited.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They say casting is 90% of the director's path to success, and in this case the director got the cast 110% right. If my math is correct, 110% of 90% is 99%, which leaves only 1% of room for failure. Director, Neal Brennan takes full advantage of his margin for failure, as he uses it toward being off on the timing for some of the jokes.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: This story has got a lot more story than most of the stuff that Will Ferrell and Adam McKay have put out recently. Not only are there A stories, but there are even B stories and C stories. Nothing too deep, but all of it supported by specific backstories! I'm sure even they were surprised to find out that despite all that yucky story structure, sometimes jokes can still be funny.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-goods-live-hard-sell-hard/34811/trailers

Back To Top

Gomorrah

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fictionalized true-life glimpse into the modern day Italian Mafia in Naples, knows as The Camorra.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Salvatore Abruzzese, Simone Sacchettino, Gianfelice Imparato, Maria Nazionale, Carlo Del Sorbo, Toni Servillo, Carmine Paternoster, Salvatore Cantalupo, Gigio Morra, Ronghua Zhang, Marco Macor, Ciro Petrone

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! The first scene is fantastic, then you can go home.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: After watching The Sopranos become a national pastime, it's hard to imagine a mob story devoid of a single humorous moment, but they pull it off here.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You would if you cared about even one of the characters in this film, especially considering most of them get killed. But you don't, so you won't.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Somehow, it has been nominated and won several big awards around the world. Not only that, but Martin Scorsese has decided to endorse this film by adding a "Martin Scorsese Presents" credit to the front of the film for American audience. So you can take his word for it, considering he is one of the premiere cinematic authorities on all matters mob, but I was bored out of my mind.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Imagine Pulp Fiction. Now imagine it in Italian. Now take away all the funny parts. And voila!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: 2 hours and 17 minutes for 4 unrelated stories, all of which are uncompelling and add nothing to this tired old genre, besides the insight that Italians are dumb enough to get involved in this nonsense in their own country, as well as in ours. If the director wasn't going to do something original, then at least he should have cut the movie down to a palatable length. I checked my clock 3 times.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Apparently the author of the book that this movie is based on, Roberto Saviano, had to go into hiding, and is under permanent police supervision, due to the death threats he received for exposing The Camorra's secrets. I'm still trying to figure out what special secrets this guy exposed about organized crime that we hadn't already deduced from seeing The Godfather, Goodfellas, and Analyze That.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hky53gXyjX0

Back To Top