Vampires Suck

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Twilight is spoofed, similarly to how Scream was spoofed in Scary Movie.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Chris Riggi, Anneliese van der Pol, Ken Jeong, B.J. Britt, Arielle Kebbel, David Deluise, Charlie Webber, Michael Hanson, Kelsey Ford, Jun Hee Lee

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You know what you're getting into with this type of broad humor based almost exclusively in pop culture. And if you are going to see this, you should have a solid knowledge of the Twilight Saga going in... which, somehow, I do.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: What's funny about movies based in pop culture is they're almost too dumb to be blond.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What's sad about movies based in pop culture is that they feel passé by the time they come out on DVD.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Funniest Song. "My Panties" by Magicwandos. Imagine you're looking at Kristen Stewart in Twilight, and you suddenly hear the lyrics in her head, put to an emo alternative rock tune, "I feel so lonely. Nobody gets me. I. Am. So. Unhappy."

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I am totally not kidding when I say that Jenn Proske turns in one of the most impressive performances of the year. Sure, it's just an impersonation of Kristen Stewart, but the mannerisms, the posture, even the voice are spot on. This is how Anna Faris started her career with the Scary Movie franchise, and I see a future just as bright for this new actress, who has a total of zero credits to her name leading up to this one. It's almost worth seeing the movie just for her.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: From the very first shot I was surprised that this movie didn't look crappier. In fact, for $20million, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer do a pretty darn good job of making it look exactly like Twilight. In further fact, the directors of the Twilight movies should be ashamed of themselves for needing so much more money to get the same look.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's so close to the Twilight story that there are times when you forget that you're watching a spoof. But right when you get comfortable with the idea that you're simply watching a remake with new actors who are imitating the old actors, they throw a joke in your face-- often quite literally.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I love it when I get a natural opportunity in my post to write commonly searched words (Twilight) seven times and (Kristen Stewart) thrice... not counting the tags.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/vampires-suck/51638/trailers

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MacGruber

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on the Saturday Night Live sketch, MacGruber, which is based on spoofing the 1980s TV show, MacGyver, this is the story of a supposedly amazing ex-special operative who actually totally sucks. But don't tell him that.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe, Maya Rudolph

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is another one of those movies that is so dumb that it's funny. I learned from my review of Hot Tub Time Machine that some of you don't find humor in complete and total idiocy, so this yellow light is dedicated to you. The dumbditude of this movie makes Hot Tub Time Machine look like it's targeted at Mensa members.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The people next to me giggled awkwardly and uncontrollably from the beginning to the end. I'm pretty sure they were high.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Personally, I had a tear of nostalgia, because in college, I, too, used to get high. With a couple of the writers of this movie, in fact. So the dialogue brought me right back to those good old days of the deep, important conversations, which if any of us had been sober, would have sounded completely nonsensical.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best backstory in any movie, ever.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It is some of the best acting I've seen out of both Will Forte and Ryan Phillippe... which I recognize, isn't saying much in either case.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Jorma Taccone shows a little too much gore for my taste, but aside from that, his style is perfectly matched to the broad tone of the script.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: High on potty humor and low on cleverness, but a good, dumb time, nonetheless.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: There is a homophobic joke that wants to be funny, but is only offensive. You know I'm not easily offended by humor, as I try to be an equal opportunity offender, myself. But if you're sensitive to homophobia, be warned. This joke misses the mark for anybody who understands that you can be a buff manly-man, and still want to have sex with dudes.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/macgruber/38929/trailers

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Tropic Thunder

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: While making a Vietnam movie, the film’s director (Steve Coogan) decides that his actors (Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr.) are too spoiled, so he drops them in the middle of the jungle to fend for themselves, and to elicit more realistic performances out of them. Unfortunately, while the actors think they’re just making a movie about war, they accidentally get caught up in an actual war.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Who isn’t?! Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Steve Coogan, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, Bill Hader, Nick Nolte, Danny McBride, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Brandon Soo Hoo, Reggie Lee, Trieu Tran. With cameos by Christine Taylor, Tyra Banks, Maria Menounos, Tobey McGuire, Jon Voight, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Bateman, Lance Bass, & Alicia Silverstone

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! If the premise sounds ridiculous and implausible that’s because it totally is! But what this movie lacks in groundedness, logic, and common sense, it makes up for in laughs per minute.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Obviously, but it might also make you puke. The blood, guts, vomit, and general level of gore is off the charts, so try to go on an empty stomach.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Either I’m a sucker for cute Asian babies, or this flick actually has a moving scene in it… But it’s still a far cry from crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best impersonation of an Academy Award. Best impersonation of an Academy Award winning actor. Best impersonation of an Academy Award winning film. In fact, if you’re looking to find out how to land an Academy Award, this movie gives away all the secret tricks of the trade.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As much as I wanted to hand over the Oscar to Robert Downey Jr. for playing a white Australian actor who’s playing a 1960s black soldier, there are times when his phony black accent makes it hard to understand what he's saying. Don’t get me wrong, his performance is still groundbreaking, but I’m just saying.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Ben Stiller has a fun, broad, campy, brightly lit style that stays constant from movie to movie. Which is tonally effective, if you like that sort of thing-- which personally, I do.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: For anyone who didn’t already know that that actors are all messed up in their heads, this movie will confirm your suspicions. Hey, two of the three writers are actors (Ben Stiller and Justin Theroux), so I'm thinking they've got something of an inside scoop on the matter.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Well, in my infinitely astute and remarkably accurate observation, I noticed that each of the main characters is impersonating at least one actual famous person. So while Ben Stiller is doing some kind of Sylvester Stallone routine, Jack Black, in a hyper-ironic turn of events, seems to be playing Robert Downey Jr.. But to make matters even more bizarre, Robert Downey Jr.’s character has several hard-to-ignore similarities to none other than... Heath Ledger! It sure is funny, but is it too soon? (Although that’s a rhetorical question, I welcome your earnest responses below.)

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