Brother's Justice

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Dax Shepard attempts to move his career out of comedy and into martial arts films, in this meta-mockumentary.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Dax Shepard, Nate Tuck, Tom Arnold, Ashton Kutcher, Jon Favreau, Bradley Cooper, David Koechner, Michael Rosenbaum, Ryan Hansen, Greg Siegel, James Feldman, Andrew Panay, Jessica Simpson, Carson Daly

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The tone is tongue in cheek, pretending to be real when it's so obviously fake. And that's a tone that a lot of people can appreciate... Even though, at this point, we've seen a lot of fake movies about movies trying to get made.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I'll tell you one thing, on more than one occasion, you can see the actors trying not to crack up, which is especially funny because they want so badly for you to believe this is all real.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but I have to warn you, this movie hits high levels of homophobia, and medium levels of racism.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the Audience Award at SXSW Film Festival, and I can see why. This is the kind of humor that's best experienced with a hip, alternative festival audience.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Dax presents himself as a real jerk, which I'm not sure is a great career-move. But then again, since the whole movie is a joke, maybe it's brilliant?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Aside from a few purposely-campy film trailers, scattered throughout the film, the movie is meant to look like a bad hand-held documentary, so there's nothing too showy, except the musical choices. I'm especially partial to a terrible auto-tune number, which uses some of the main characters' dialogue to create a bad techno-remix that instantly gets stuck in your head.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It walks a very fine line between wanting to be real and fake. And, if you believe that it's real, you now know that all actors know each other, all actors are jealous of each other, and they deal with their jealousy by beating each other up. But I guess if you've ever read a tabloid, you already knew that.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Having just been picked up for distribution at the Tribeca Film Festival, this movie is currently released on VOD. But it's coming out in theaters on May 12th in New York and L.A. Having experimented with this release tactic tonight, I have to say, it doesn't make much sense to pay $11 to see it somewhere across town in two weeks, when I can see it right now for $6, without ever having to leave my living room. That said, I can see how this film would be better enjoyed with an audience... I'm starting to see why theater owners are pissed off about this new distribution model.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Brother's Justice Trailer

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Step Up 3D

(Featuring Contributions by Guest Reviewer Valerie)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A lot of people think that the most important thing in the world is winning a dance battle that no one else even knows exists.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Rick Malambri, Adam G. Sevani, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner, Keith Stallworth, Joe Slaughter, Martin Lombard, Facundo Lombard, Daniel 'Cloud' Campos, Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, Oren 'Flearock' Michaeli, and literally every person in the world who has ever had or wanted a career in dance.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Let's face it, no one goes to Step Up for the the plot, they go for the dancing. So why would they ruin the magic of the mad skills involved in this level of dancing by doing it in 3D, which makes it look like special effects instead of human genius?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Laugh with or laugh at?

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You might cry about the extra $4 you are forced to spend on 3D, only so you can leave the theater thinking, "I can't wait for this to come out in 2D."

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Choreography.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Adam G. Sevani is angling for Michael Cera's sloppy seconds. Meanwhile, Sharni Vinson, as the love interest, seems to be angling for the unemployment line. And she's a terrible kisser.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: If I had a nickel for every useless 3D effect the director uses, I'd have enough money to remake this movie in 2D.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There's dancing, betrayal, horrible dialogue, and star-crossed lovers from opposite sides of the tracks. Basically, what I'm saying is they dug up the scripts for Step Up and Step Up 2: the Streets, and changed a few names and places.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Just a couple more major problems: the soundtrack is not nearly as blood-pumping as it was for Step Up 2, and 4 times out of 5 our heroes' winning dance routines are definitively not as good as the competitors' losing routines.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/step-up-3d/51894/trailers

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Finding Bliss

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An award winning film school grad (Leelee Sobieski) discovers that the only way she's going to be able to make her feature film debut is by editing films for the adult film industry.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Leelee Sobieski, Matt Davis, Donnamarie Recco, Denise Richards, Kristen Johnston, Jamie Kennedy, Mircea Monroe, P.J. Byrne, Time Bagley, Caroline Aaron

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For a movie about people who f#@* each other for a living, it's really cute! Like a puppy doing a bunny.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It has dildos galore, and you'd have to be really horny not to think dildos are funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If, like me, you never wanted to see Jamie Kennedy whip it out, there is one part that could make you a little queasy. The good news is that I'm 99% sure it's a prosthetic. Then again, if that 1% margin is actually the case, it would explain a lot about how he's made it so far in his career... Well, that, and Son of the Mask.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Here's a useless piece of trivia I've somehow kept in the recesses of my mind for the past 13 years: Julie Davis, the director of this film used to work as an editor in the porn industry to pay for her filmmaking habit. Which gets this movie the award for Most Unlikely True Story of the Year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mircea Monroe really stands out for me. I can see her becoming an A-list rom-com actress competing for roles with Malin Akerman. She has the looks and the comedy chops. You heard it here first, people. Check back in 2 years.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Either the directing is really ugly, or Julie Davis purposely made her film look like a B-movie from the 80s that was shot after hours at a porn studio to reflect the story she is telling about a girl making a B-movie after hours at a porn studio.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Loaded with cursing and sex, delving surprisingly deeper than it seems like it's going to go. And then deeper and deeper until the romantic storyline becomes filled with tension, and you just want so badly for it to... Ahhhh.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Now that I have my wits about me again, I'd like to apologize for what just happened in the script section. That was meant to be private. I'm so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. Oh my God, my mother reads this blog.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/finding-bliss/1426113/trailers

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Broken Embraces

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A blind screenwriter (Lluis Homar) looks back on the time when he used to be a film director, and how that all came to a tragic end.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Lluis Homar, Penelope Cruz, Blanca Portillo, Jose Luis Gomez, Tamar Novas, Ruben Ochandiano, Angela Molina, Lola Duenas, Carmen Machi, Kiti Manver, Chus Lampreave

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For fans of Almadovar's films, like me, this one will likely be classified as not his best one.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is not as much of that brilliant, squirmy, dark humor that makes you feel like a terrible person for enjoying it, as in his other films.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: In true Almadovar style, the saddest part is when a dead person comes back to life.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This is one of those films that gets nominated a lot because with the combination of Pedro Almadovar and Penelope Cruz, people expect it to. By the same token, it doesn't win a lot, because it's not as good as people expect Almadovar and Cruz to be together.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: There's a reason why Almadovar has made Penelope Cruz part of his regular cast. And this time, she shows her breasts, too. But the true lead is Lluis Homar, who gives a beautifully understated portrayal of a blind man, as well as one who can see.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Because of the film within the film, there are many opportunities for the director to play with the look and graininess, differentiating when we're watching life versus film versus video. Almadovar uses each of these looks in obvious ways to show us that he knows what he's doing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I'm still not sure that anyone cares to watch stories about the lives of filmmakers. They always come off self-indulgent, even when they're Spanish filmmakers. But the biggest problems this script has are that most of the twists are predictable, and the funny, weird, awkward scenes are few and far from hilarious.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/broken-embraces/28978/trailers

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Gentlemen Broncos

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A home schooled teen (Michael Angarano) dreams of being a sci-fi novelist, so he takes a seminar offered by his idol... and then, as is usually the case, his idol plagiarizes his book.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Angarano, Jennifer Coolidge, Jemaine Clement, Sam Rockwell, Hector Jimenez, Halley Feiffer, Mike White, Josh Pais, Suzanne May

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For all you Napoleon Dynamite fans, this is the closest Jared Hess has come to accomplishing whatever he accomplished with that inexplicable hit.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Your ability to find the humor in this film will be directly proportional to your ability to find the humor in Napoleon Dynamite.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Again, I will refer you back to your level of emotion in watching Napoleon Dynamite. And let's be honest, nobody ever cried at Napoleon Dynamite.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Do they still have any avant-guard awards for movies? Or did those go out with the 70s?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: While I never actually enjoy his films, director Jared Hess does seem to bring an interesting quality out in his actors. The strained, awkward, never ending pauses, after which no words are often spoken, demonstrate that he has a style all his own, and he commits to it fully and consistently.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Again, I will admit that while I never actually enjoy his films, I really like the composition of Jared Hess's shots. They capture the strained, awkward, never ending pauses, after which no words are often spoken, quite descriptively. Also, this campy-stylized film has two other films in it, each more campy and stylized than the next, begging the question, "How does this guy come up with so many original ways to make awful looking movies."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Here's where you'll have to suspend your disbelief. You see, that a teenage boy would write this ridiculous nonsensical sci-fi novel is believable. That someone would read it and like it is much less believable. But that someone would like it enough to plagiarize it is totally preposterous.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If when I mentioned Napoleon Dynamite, earlier, you thought that I was talking about some Blacksploitation version of the French Revolution, this film is definitely not for you.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/gentlemen-broncos/33271/trailers

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Tropic Thunder

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: While making a Vietnam movie, the film’s director (Steve Coogan) decides that his actors (Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr.) are too spoiled, so he drops them in the middle of the jungle to fend for themselves, and to elicit more realistic performances out of them. Unfortunately, while the actors think they’re just making a movie about war, they accidentally get caught up in an actual war.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Who isn’t?! Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Steve Coogan, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, Bill Hader, Nick Nolte, Danny McBride, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Brandon Soo Hoo, Reggie Lee, Trieu Tran. With cameos by Christine Taylor, Tyra Banks, Maria Menounos, Tobey McGuire, Jon Voight, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Bateman, Lance Bass, & Alicia Silverstone

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! If the premise sounds ridiculous and implausible that’s because it totally is! But what this movie lacks in groundedness, logic, and common sense, it makes up for in laughs per minute.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Obviously, but it might also make you puke. The blood, guts, vomit, and general level of gore is off the charts, so try to go on an empty stomach.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Either I’m a sucker for cute Asian babies, or this flick actually has a moving scene in it… But it’s still a far cry from crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best impersonation of an Academy Award. Best impersonation of an Academy Award winning actor. Best impersonation of an Academy Award winning film. In fact, if you’re looking to find out how to land an Academy Award, this movie gives away all the secret tricks of the trade.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As much as I wanted to hand over the Oscar to Robert Downey Jr. for playing a white Australian actor who’s playing a 1960s black soldier, there are times when his phony black accent makes it hard to understand what he's saying. Don’t get me wrong, his performance is still groundbreaking, but I’m just saying.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Ben Stiller has a fun, broad, campy, brightly lit style that stays constant from movie to movie. Which is tonally effective, if you like that sort of thing-- which personally, I do.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: For anyone who didn’t already know that that actors are all messed up in their heads, this movie will confirm your suspicions. Hey, two of the three writers are actors (Ben Stiller and Justin Theroux), so I'm thinking they've got something of an inside scoop on the matter.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Well, in my infinitely astute and remarkably accurate observation, I noticed that each of the main characters is impersonating at least one actual famous person. So while Ben Stiller is doing some kind of Sylvester Stallone routine, Jack Black, in a hyper-ironic turn of events, seems to be playing Robert Downey Jr.. But to make matters even more bizarre, Robert Downey Jr.’s character has several hard-to-ignore similarities to none other than... Heath Ledger! It sure is funny, but is it too soon? (Although that’s a rhetorical question, I welcome your earnest responses below.)

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