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Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Change-Up


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A married man (Jason Bateman) and a single man (Ryan Reynolds) switch bodies and try not to f-up each other's lives.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Sydney Rouviere, Mircea Monroe, Grogory Itzin, Ned Schmidtke, Lo Ming, Craig Bierko, Bailey Anne Borders

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. If you go to a body-switch movie, and your main complaint is that the set-up and the ending are predictable, then you only have yourself to blame. That's what body-switch movies do. You're supposed to watch a body-switch movie for the second act. That's where you get to find out if the actors where able to transform to the point of making you believe they are inhabited by the other, and it's where you get to see the ways in which they screw up each other's lives while they are inhabiting them. So let's talk about the second act, which isn't anywhere near as bad as the buzz on it. In fact, once it's released on VOD and DVD, I predict that many people will find themselves telling a friend, "You know what I saw last night, that wasn't half bad?"

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not out loud much, because the writers rely too heavily on swear words instead of humor, and the insulting nicknames the characters lob at each other incessantly quickly begin to feel overbearing and self-conscious.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What makes me cry most is how all the nerds and haters are so quick to say this movie is the end of the raunchy R-rated comedy being hot. Some of us love comedies, don't consider them a phase but rather a necessity, and don't start screaming about how it's the end of your stupid comic book movies, just because Green Lantern came out and sucked. (Disclaimer: I didn't see it.) Hey, I'm noticing a pattern. Maybe we could all get along if we instead went around screaming that it's the end of Ryan Reynolds?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm giving Judd Apatow a Tolerance Award for letting the mother of his children show her boobs. It takes a truly secure man to be okay with that... Or maybe a truly twisted one. Either way, we should start counting down to their divorce.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jason Bateman does an amazing job of making you forget that he doesn't actually have Ryan Reynolds inside his body. Ryan Reynolds does an amazing job of making you forget why he's become such a hot commodity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Dobkin directed Wedding Crashers, so my first instinct is never to say anything bad... But. There are several pivotal pissing scenes, where we get full frontal shots, and before you get all grossed out, let me clarify that my complaint is that neither one of these men seems to have a penis. Now I know you can't show that in an R-rated movie, but what I don't know is why the director chose to shoot an angle that makes it so obvious that they're holding little water hoses rigged to come out of their flies. It would have been so easy to use only angles that don't show the pants' opening. The way it is shot, you can't help but peek, and seeing nothing there is disturbing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: From the writers of The Hangover, comes a film that feels like it's from the writers of an ABC Family Film-- with tits, swearing, and male leads. I think the lesson here is that you shouldn't try to do a body-switch movie for the R-rated audience. It would seem they don't care for the conceit. Oh well, I guess I'd better scrap my plans to write that body-switch movie between a hooker and her pimp.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Change-Up Trailer

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Elektra Luxx


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Retired porn star, Elektra Luxx (Carla Gugino), is pregnant, and getting sucked into all sorts of other people's problems due to the mistaken assumption that she will have sex with anyone.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Carla Gugino, Adrianne Palicki, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Marley Shelton, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Timothy Olyphant, Malin Akerman, Vincent Kartheiser, Justin Kirk, Kathleen Quinlan, Amy Rosoff, Lucy Punch, Matt Gerald, Isabella Gutierrez, Julianne Moore

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Despite making fun of porn movies, this film has very little plot.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's meant to be a comedy, and a lot of times it is.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It doesn't make you feel that much, but for me there's always an underlying sadness about what terrible things must've happened to these women to drive them into the sex trade. And it gets a little sadder when they start to want to be treated just like everybody else.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Subtle Sequel. It's not being billed as a sequel to 2009's Women in Trouble (which I did not see, and had never heard of until I looked up some of the actors from this film on imdb and realized they'd played characters with the same names before), but the two films have 6 characters and a writer-director in common. Hmm. Has anyone else seen or heard of Women in Trouble?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: There's a lot of hype around Adrianne Palicki getting cast as TV's new Wonder Woman. I had no idea who she was before I saw this movie, and was surprised to see that my favorite performance in the film was the very person all the hype has been about. On a sadder note, I fell asleep during a scene between two actors that I absolutely love, Malin Akerman and my future cougar bait, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yes, it was because the scene was boring.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Sebastian Gutierrez, who is this guy? His most notable credit is as the writer of Snakes on a Plane, and I have to assume that movie made him rich because he's found a way to write, direct, and produce a trilogy of films about this particular set of invented porn stars, back to back to back. Yes, he's already got a script in the works for the threequel, and I can't imagine any financier, besides himself, who would have gotten on board for more than one of this series.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are several vaguely intertwining stories, and I only cared about the title character, Elektra Luxx. Because of the cutaways to all the side characters' stories, we are taken away from what she is supposed to be going through, which frankly isn't very deep or realistic to begin with. On the plus side, the dialogue is cute and sometimes even clever to the point that some of the people in my audience were still laughing as they walked back to the parking garage. I imagine this is because they saw the prequel.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Elektra Luxx Trailer

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Finding Bliss


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An award winning film school grad (Leelee Sobieski) discovers that the only way she's going to be able to make her feature film debut is by editing films for the adult film industry.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Leelee Sobieski, Matt Davis, Donnamarie Recco, Denise Richards, Kristen Johnston, Jamie Kennedy, Mircea Monroe, P.J. Byrne, Time Bagley, Caroline Aaron

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. For a movie about people who f#@* each other for a living, it's really cute! Like a puppy doing a bunny.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It has dildos galore, and you'd have to be really horny not to think dildos are funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If, like me, you never wanted to see Jamie Kennedy whip it out, there is one part that could make you a little queasy. The good news is that I'm 99% sure it's a prosthetic. Then again, if that 1% margin is actually the case, it would explain a lot about how he's made it so far in his career... Well, that, and Son of the Mask.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Here's a useless piece of trivia I've somehow kept in the recesses of my mind for the past 13 years: Julie Davis, the director of this film used to work as an editor in the porn industry to pay for her filmmaking habit. Which gets this movie the award for Most Unlikely True Story of the Year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mircea Monroe really stands out for me. I can see her becoming an A-list rom-com actress competing for roles with Malin Akerman. She has the looks and the comedy chops. You heard it here first, people. Check back in 2 years.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Either the directing is really ugly, or Julie Davis purposely made her film look like a B-movie from the 80s that was shot after hours at a porn studio to reflect the story she is telling about a girl making a B-movie after hours at a porn studio.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Loaded with cursing and sex, delving surprisingly deeper than it seems like it's going to go. And then deeper and deeper until the romantic storyline becomes filled with tension, and you just want so badly for it to... Ahhhh.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Now that I have my wits about me again, I'd like to apologize for what just happened in the script section. That was meant to be private. I'm so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. Oh my God, my mother reads this blog.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/finding-bliss/1426113/trailers

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