The Change-Up

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A married man (Jason Bateman) and a single man (Ryan Reynolds) switch bodies and try not to f-up each other's lives.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Sydney Rouviere, Mircea Monroe, Grogory Itzin, Ned Schmidtke, Lo Ming, Craig Bierko, Bailey Anne Borders

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you go to a body-switch movie, and your main complaint is that the set-up and the ending are predictable, then you only have yourself to blame. That's what body-switch movies do. You're supposed to watch a body-switch movie for the second act. That's where you get to find out if the actors where able to transform to the point of making you believe they are inhabited by the other, and it's where you get to see the ways in which they screw up each other's lives while they are inhabiting them. So let's talk about the second act, which isn't anywhere near as bad as the buzz on it. In fact, once it's released on VOD and DVD, I predict that many people will find themselves telling a friend, "You know what I saw last night, that wasn't half bad?"

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not out loud much, because the writers rely too heavily on swear words instead of humor, and the insulting nicknames the characters lob at each other incessantly quickly begin to feel overbearing and self-conscious.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What makes me cry most is how all the nerds and haters are so quick to say this movie is the end of the raunchy R-rated comedy being hot. Some of us love comedies, don't consider them a phase but rather a necessity, and don't start screaming about how it's the end of your stupid comic book movies, just because Green Lantern came out and sucked. (Disclaimer: I didn't see it.) Hey, I'm noticing a pattern. Maybe we could all get along if we instead went around screaming that it's the end of Ryan Reynolds?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm giving Judd Apatow a Tolerance Award for letting the mother of his children show her boobs. It takes a truly secure man to be okay with that... Or maybe a truly twisted one. Either way, we should start counting down to their divorce.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jason Bateman does an amazing job of making you forget that he doesn't actually have Ryan Reynolds inside his body. Ryan Reynolds does an amazing job of making you forget why he's become such a hot commodity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Dobkin directed Wedding Crashers, so my first instinct is never to say anything bad... But. There are several pivotal pissing scenes, where we get full frontal shots, and before you get all grossed out, let me clarify that my complaint is that neither one of these men seems to have a penis. Now I know you can't show that in an R-rated movie, but what I don't know is why the director chose to shoot an angle that makes it so obvious that they're holding little water hoses rigged to come out of their flies. It would have been so easy to use only angles that don't show the pants' opening. The way it is shot, you can't help but peek, and seeing nothing there is disturbing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: From the writers of The Hangover, comes a film that feels like it's from the writers of an ABC Family Film-- with tits, swearing, and male leads. I think the lesson here is that you shouldn't try to do a body-switch movie for the R-rated audience. It would seem they don't care for the conceit. Oh well, I guess I'd better scrap my plans to write that body-switch movie between a hooker and her pimp.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Change-Up Trailer

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The Social Network

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The true story of how Mark Zuckerberg invented--ahem-- stole the idea for Facebook.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Armie Hammer, Max Minghella, Rashida Jones, Rooney Mara, Brenda Song

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Facebook has changed the way we live our lives, so finding out that every person behind its creation is a total a-hole is enlightening-- by which I mean disheartening.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Any time you see a character with such profound sociopathy, it's bound to make you laugh once or twice. I mean, come on, people who can't relate to others are hysterical!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It certainly should make cry the good people at MySpace and Friendster. They're probably still scratching their heads as to why Facebook is having so much more success than they are, for providing basically the same service.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yes. It's the front runner in buzz so far, and why shouldn't it be? When there are no movies out about handicapped people, the next most likely award recipient is always the tortured genius-- probably because being on the brilliant side of retarded is still considered a handicap.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jesse Eisenberg is perfectly cast as the sort of stuck-up, entitled, Harvard nerd that I've often encountered. Armie Hammer's portrayal of the stuck-up, entitled, Harvard jerk also ressembles my experience of Harvard people. And Andrew Garfield, who constantly gets rave reviews and hot upcoming roles (like Spiderman), is totally not growing on me.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Fincher has certainly done more showy movies than this one, which doesn't stand out as having a branded-imprint directing-wise. For this kind of story, though, that's probably a wise choice.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Okay, I know Aaron Sorkin is a genius and all that, but instead of giving him carte blanche, I feel like somebody's gotta point out that nobody talks like that. In particular, I was struck by the fakeness of the first conversation between Mark and his girlfriend, right before she breaks up with him, as well as the introduction of the Winklevoss twins, as they pompously row their crew boat, several boat-lengths ahead of their competitors, calmly discussing how one of them should row forward while the other rows backwards to make it a fair race. Come on!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-social-network/1413499/trailers

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The Back-up Plan

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A desperate, baby-obsessed woman (Jennifer Lopez), gets artificially inseminated, and then immediately meets the love of her life (Alex O'Loughlin).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Michaela Watkins, Anthony Anderson, Linda Lavin, Eric Christian Olsen, Noureen DeWulf, Tom Bosley, Danneel Harris, Robert Klein, Melissa McCarthy, Maribeth Monroe, Jennifer Elise Cox

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This movie could only possibly be enjoyed at an all-girls' slumber party, where everyone is getting drunk on their own individual pint of ice cream. And even then, the ice cream is the only part you'll enjoy.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you're Jennifer Lopez, this movie will make you laugh all the way to the bank.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It makes me cry when I see yet another movie depicting women as crazy, pathetic losers, with illogical mood-swings, who can only think about how they're going to get a baby before they're too old. If I'm supposed to be the audience for this movie, maybe you should try getting on my good side, once in a while, instead of insulting my intelligence.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The users on imdb are already suggesting it for the Razzies, so what I was gonna say turns out not to be original in the slightest.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: If I ever though Jennifer Lopez was a good actress in the tabloids, this movie is more proof that reality TV stars can't necessarily act. I have rarely seen so much grimacing from a so-called professional actress.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: You know they got a first-time feature director because everyone else passed on the script. But ultimately, Alan Poul's biggest mistake was being the guy desperate enough to say yes.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I never found out what these two people saw in each other besides their mutual good looks-- which is not the reason given for their deep, instant love, but what else am I left to assume? At the same time, if it weren't for Alex O'Loughlin's hotness, there would be nothing differentiating his approach to J-Lo from stalking. Not only would that be creepy in the real world, but then, the first date he plans is so over-the-top romantic, that you can't help but think that he's up to no good. If they weren't in a movie together, he would just be some random guy she met on the street, who harassed her until she agreed to go out with him, and then took her to a secluded park, where no one could hear her scream-- yikes!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-back-up-plan/38957/trailers

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Ballast

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a man (Michael J. Smith Sr.) loses his brother to suicide, the teenage boy who has been robbing him for drug money (JimMyron Ross) moves in next door, and their relationship grows in new and unexpected ways.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael J. Smith Sr., JimMyron Ross, Tarra Riggs, Johnny McPhail

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. To the sophisticated movie goer this methodical and subtle arthouse film will be seen as a rare gem. But it's not for the short of attention span or those who don't have the patience to chip all the carbon off a diamond in the rough.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only if you're incredibly sick and twisted. And I mean in that serial killer way.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Maybe afterwards, when you go home and think about how messed up life is for poor people in this country... And, not to be a downer, but the way things are going, we'll probably all be living like these folks soon enough, so it might do you good to see this film so as to mentally prepare yourself for what's to come.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: At Sundance it won Directing and Cinematography, and was nominated for the Grand Jury Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This group of non-professionals brings an authenticity that is often missing from professional actors' performance. There is no glitz, no glamor, just a few meaningless people saying so much, with so little.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Blatantly independent, but really interesting. Little, subtle, visual touches all throughout, make this teency-tiny little film a shining example of how to tell stories without using words.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Itttttt iiiiiiiis reallllllllllly sllllllllllowwwww pppppppaced. And don't expect a self-explanatory ending. You will need to think about what the ending means, or if it means anything at all.

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