Sunday, August 8, 2010
Step Up 3D
(Featuring Contributions by Guest Reviewer Valerie)
Q: What’s the movie about?
A: A lot of people think that the most important thing in the world is winning a dance battle that no one else even knows exists.
Q: Who’s in the movie?
A: Rick Malambri, Adam G. Sevani, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner, Keith Stallworth, Joe Slaughter, Martin Lombard, Facundo Lombard, Daniel 'Cloud' Campos, Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, Oren 'Flearock' Michaeli, and literally every person in the world who has ever had or wanted a career in dance.
Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?
A: Stop! Let's face it, no one goes to Step Up for the the plot, they go for the dancing. So why would they ruin the magic of the mad skills involved in this level of dancing by doing it in 3D, which makes it look like special effects instead of human genius?
Q: Will this movie make me laugh?
A: Laugh with or laugh at?
Q: Will this movie make me cry?
A: You might cry about the extra $4 you are forced to spend on 3D, only so you can leave the theater thinking, "I can't wait for this to come out in 2D."
Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?
A: Most Choreography.
Q: How is the Acting?
A: Adam G. Sevani is angling for Michael Cera's sloppy seconds. Meanwhile, Sharni Vinson, as the love interest, seems to be angling for the unemployment line. And she's a terrible kisser.
Q: How is the Directing?
A: If I had a nickel for every useless 3D effect the director uses, I'd have enough money to remake this movie in 2D.
Q: How is the story/script?
A: There's dancing, betrayal, horrible dialogue, and star-crossed lovers from opposite sides of the tracks. Basically, what I'm saying is they dug up the scripts for Step Up and Step Up 2: the Streets, and changed a few names and places.
Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?
A: Just a couple more major problems: the soundtrack is not nearly as blood-pumping as it was for Step Up 2, and 4 times out of 5 our heroes' winning dance routines are definitively not as good as the competitors' losing routines.
Q: Where can I see the trailer?
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