I Melt With You

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  4 44-year-old guys (Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, Rob Lowe, & Christian McKay) reunite every year for one of their birthdays and take more drugs than seems humanly possible, as they work out their lives.  Let me tell you something about the number 4, in China, it's considered such bad luck, that the elevators don't have any floors with the number 4 in them.  Yes, this does mean that if you live on the 50th floor of a building, your direct downstairs neighbors live on the 39th floor.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, Rob Lowe, Christian McKay, Carla Gugino, Tom Bower, Arielle Kebbel, Zander Eckhouse, Abhi Sinha, Sasha Grey, Joe Reegan, August Emerson, Rebecca Creskoff, Melora Hardin, Shane Roney

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed wit Caution.  This movie is love it or hate it.  Personally, I did both.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  If you are paying very close attention.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There is a butt-load of crying in it, but will you relate?  That depends on how much you hate yourself and why.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  Surprisingly it's not yet.  And oddly, this is one overly-arty and borderline boring indy film that I would've voted for in a few categories-- particularly directing.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Christian McKay often seems to be in a much more melodramatic film than the others.  Jeremy Piven has moments where you begin to see his range, and others where you wonder if he'll ever be anyone besides Ari Gold again.  And Rob Lowe... Is it just me, or is he getting hotter with age.  I never went for him as a kid (I was a rebel), but now, his face is practically inhuman.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Mark Pellington directs this film as an independent film should be directed.  He shows individuality and a style all his own, without  coming off deliberately pretentious.  His shots are unpredictable and often have you wondering why he chose to shoot from a certain angle, but strangely, this time the thought is never accompanied by a feeling of anger.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  I knew where this film was going to go about 30 minutes in, but it is such a strange place to go that I remained intrigued about how it would manage to go there.  Ultimately the characters' actions as a group are completely unjustifiable, despite the fact that their actions as indivuals make perfect sense.  I have you intrigued, don't I?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A:  The soundtrack wants me to comment about it, but I'm not going to.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: I Melt With You

Back To Top

Jane Eyre

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on the famous novel by Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre (Mia Wasikowska) is a governess who falls for her master (Michael Fassbender), despite their difference in social classes.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Judi Dench, Jamie Bell, Imogen Poots, Sally Hawkins, Amelia Clarkson, Romy Settbon Moore, Holliday Grainger, Tamzin Merchant, Simon McBurney

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! I would say you should go because seeing the movie is way easier than reading the Cliff's Notes, but the people who will be tempted to see this in the first place, are the same morons who probably read the whole book.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I had a funny thought when Jane was punished as a little girl, and made to stand on a chair without food. You see, her best friend sneaks her a piece of bread, and I, forgetting that there once existed a time without audio/video recording devices, couldn't stop thinking, "You idiot! There are cameras everywhere!" Which is not so much funny as it is sad, both in that we live in a time where you can no longer get away with sneaking your friend a piece of bread, and in that the 21st Century surveillance level is so ingrained in my way of thinking, that I can no longer relate to period pieces.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Yes, and surprisingly at romance. There is a scene so romantic, and overflowing with words so visual and expressions of love so passionate that you will cry like you're at your best friend's wedding, and are suddenly struck with the realization that (while you're very happy for her) you are never going to hear from her again.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Do a period piece, get nominated for a Costume Design Award... Them's the rules.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mia Wasikowska's performance is as understated as Michael Fassbender's is in your face.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The beginning is very slow and uninteresting all the way up until the point when Michael Fassbender arrives on the scene. Cary Joji Fukunaga would have done well to tell the story in a linear fashion, getting to the point fassbenderer, rather than introducing us to the drama with unnecessary bookends. The non-linear editing somewhat confuses the time-line and makes this story more difficult to follow than it has to be.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I have never read the book. Not because I'm not well-read, but rather because none of my teachers ever forced me to read it for school. Come on, how many classics have you read just for fun? I'm guessing for most of you the answer is none.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Jane Eyre Trailer

Back To Top

Take Me Home Tonight

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: In this wannabe John Hughes movie, which takes place in the 80s for no apparent reason, besides that it wants to be a John Hughes movie, a recent college grad (Topher Grace), who has lost his way, goes to a party to try to hook up with his high school crush (Teresa Palmer).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Topher Grace, Teresa Palmer, Dan Fogel, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Michelle Trachtenberg, Lucy Punch, Michael Biehn, Angie Everhart, Nathalie Kelley, Michael Ian Black, Robert Hoffman, Candace Kroslak, Seth Gabel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. We all wanna be John Hughes, but we’re not.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Just as stories of parents reconnecting with their children always make me cry, dance sequences always make me laugh. And based on my experience with this movie, they don’t even have to be that good.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not in the slightest, but one of the crying scenes is one of the biggest laughs.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: 2nd Best 80s movie I’ve seen in the past year. Hot Tub Time Machine is better, but the fact that there are two 80s movies in one year is still really impressive.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I love Topher Grace. I would marry him. But I never bought the premise that he was ever a nerd. Even in high school. I also love Anna Faris. And while I wouldn’t marry her, (mostly because it’s still vaguely illegal), I really wish she would put less collagen in her lips because it distracts me from her beautiful acting.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The whole movie is trying way too hard to be That 80's Party Movie. And when people try too hard, sometimes all you see is how hard they're trying.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It’s like Sixteen Candles, but instead of a girl pining over a guy, it’s a guy pining over a girl, and instead of taking place in high school, it takes place after college, in a world where college grads still care what the people from high school think of them.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The parts are better than the whole, but ultimately, most of the parts seems like an excuse for the 80s soundtrack.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Take Me Home Tonight Trailer

Back To Top

The Last Song

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A rebellious teen (Miley Cyrus) is forced to spend the summer at the beach with her dad (Greg Kinnear), where she meets a boy (Liam Hemsworth) and falls in love. Whoa, tough life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, Bobby Coleman, Liam Hemsworth, Hallock Beals, Kelly Preston, Nick Lashaway, Carly Chaikin, Kate Vernon, Melissa Ordway

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This ain't no Hannah Montana. And whatever you may think about the double-life-living Disney character, at least her stories don't make you regret having wasted your time watching them.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Miley's turn as a serious actress might.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I want to say no, but for saps like me, there is a ray of light that could move you to the point of having to be embarrassed about it. (Sometimes I wonder if I have any standards at all...)

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If Miley Cyrus wants to win awards, I'm gonna highly recommend that she stick with Hannah Montana, and continue aiming for Kid's Choice.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: When I was a teenager I believed deeply in love at first sight. But this movie helped me realize that it's a concept that can only exist when all parties involved are drop dead gorgeous, since naturally, "first sight" implies that nobody cares about the other's personality. I wasn't particularly sold on Liam Hemsworth's acting, but I have to give him credit for trying to sell the idea that he could instantly be attracted to Miley, despite the fact that she's acting like a rude, angry, little female dog. Unfortunately for her, this kind of selfish, bitter character makes her look both ugly and dumb. Bring back the blond wig and the fake teeth!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: My first directing teacher once said, "Directors are judged on their taste in material." So while Julie Anne Robinson's directing is perfectly passable, I'm still giving her an F for the day.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The drama manages to be both superficial and contrived. Shame on you Nicholas Sparks, for not taking your name off this unoriginal story, which was obviously written by a ghost apprentice, who was trying unsuccessfully to imitate your work in Dear John.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-last-song/37683/trailers

Back To Top

Me and Orson Welles

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A teenager (Zac Efron) is cast in the 1937 Broadway production of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” and comes of age in the shadow of actor/director Orson Welles’ genius.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin, Eddie Marsan, James Tupper, Zoe Kazan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You might try not to pay full price for it. Although, I guess this film could pique the interest of various fans, so here’s a handy guide. Screaming insane tween female Zac Efron fans: stay away and re-watch the High School Musical trilogy on DVD. Forty year-old gay men: sorry, Zac never goes shirtless, re-watch 17 Again. Orson Welles fanatics: it’s an interesting insight into a week of his life, pre-Hollywood filmmaker genius mode. Richard Linklater fans: I don’t know what to tell you, no one gets high in this film and Jack Black is nowhere to be seen.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. The overall tone of the movie is light and there is good wordplay and joke set-ups that pay off with nice chuckles. The funniest revolves around “the Quadruple Space,” but I won’t ruin it for you with an explanation in this review.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. And it’s not built for it anyway so don’t hold that against it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Nothing obvious. But depending on how it plays, a buzz could begin to circle for British stage actor Christian McKay’s portrayal of a young Welles... especially when they realize that he has never acted in a movie before.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s all first rate if not spectacular. Christian McKay steals the show as a 22 year-old Orson Welles putting his budding genius on show. The performance sneaks up on you and builds into something completely authentic. Zac Efron might not blow you away, but there’s no denying his youthful charisma, perfect eyebrows and freakishly long eyelashes. He both naturally seduces and is seduced in a role that doesn’t call for much more than that.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It’s serviceable and works on the relatively low budget the film was shot on. It doesn’t look cheap, but it doesn’t look expensive either. The period detail is all there, but it’s mostly done in medium and close-up shots, which undercut the grandeur of the period. Otherwise the whole thing skips along at a nice pace and never bores.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Probably the biggest problem and the main thing holding the film back from a green light. Zac Efron’s character ‘Richard’ is the dual lead with Orson Welles and it’s an unfortunately underwritten part. Its purpose is for us, the viewer, to see Welles’ genius through the eyes of an everyman, but one can’t help wishing that we knew more about Richard and what he wanted out of life and his experience working in the theater. There also isn’t much conflict as Richard easily gets everything he wants up until the very end. There’s nothing glaringly wrong or bad with the movie, but as good as it is, it’s not hard to imagine how it could have been so much better with another script rewrite.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2003567129/

Back To Top

Gentlemen Broncos

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A home schooled teen (Michael Angarano) dreams of being a sci-fi novelist, so he takes a seminar offered by his idol... and then, as is usually the case, his idol plagiarizes his book.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Angarano, Jennifer Coolidge, Jemaine Clement, Sam Rockwell, Hector Jimenez, Halley Feiffer, Mike White, Josh Pais, Suzanne May

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For all you Napoleon Dynamite fans, this is the closest Jared Hess has come to accomplishing whatever he accomplished with that inexplicable hit.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Your ability to find the humor in this film will be directly proportional to your ability to find the humor in Napoleon Dynamite.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Again, I will refer you back to your level of emotion in watching Napoleon Dynamite. And let's be honest, nobody ever cried at Napoleon Dynamite.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Do they still have any avant-guard awards for movies? Or did those go out with the 70s?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: While I never actually enjoy his films, director Jared Hess does seem to bring an interesting quality out in his actors. The strained, awkward, never ending pauses, after which no words are often spoken, demonstrate that he has a style all his own, and he commits to it fully and consistently.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Again, I will admit that while I never actually enjoy his films, I really like the composition of Jared Hess's shots. They capture the strained, awkward, never ending pauses, after which no words are often spoken, quite descriptively. Also, this campy-stylized film has two other films in it, each more campy and stylized than the next, begging the question, "How does this guy come up with so many original ways to make awful looking movies."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Here's where you'll have to suspend your disbelief. You see, that a teenage boy would write this ridiculous nonsensical sci-fi novel is believable. That someone would read it and like it is much less believable. But that someone would like it enough to plagiarize it is totally preposterous.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If when I mentioned Napoleon Dynamite, earlier, you thought that I was talking about some Blacksploitation version of the French Revolution, this film is definitely not for you.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/gentlemen-broncos/33271/trailers

Back To Top

Fired Up!

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Two high school football players (Nicholas D'Agasto and Eric Christian Olsen), decide that there will be more doable girls at cheer camp than at football camp, so they make up some lame excuses to cut out on one in favor of the other, and spend their summer spreading diseases. (Okay, so there's no mention of disease in the movie. I'm just prognosticating.)

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Nicholas D'Agasto, Eric Christian Olsen, Sarah Roemer, Molly Sims, David Walton, John Michael Higgins, Philip Baker Hall, Adhir Kalyan, Juliette Goglia, Jake Sandvig, Michael Blaiklock, Margo Harshman, Edie McClurg, AnnaLynne McCord, Danneel Harris

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. We spend long months and sometimes years waiting for a movie of this sort to come out, but ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, that rare commodity, that special gem... It's finally here: a movie so bad that it's good!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Every term you can think of for breast, butt, and [insert any sexual organ here] (I know) is pulled out of the gutter in this all out effort to pretend that women's lib never happened.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Well I cried when more than one man turned me down to see this movie over the weekend, because it was too stupid, and clearly for girls. And I cried again (this time with joy), when I arrived at a Tuesday night screening filled with exclusively men, secretly watching this movie with glee.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yeah-- right!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sarah Roemer is a beauty who may not have the chops to pull off comedy. Eric Christian Olsen is clearly 10 years too old to play high school. And Nicholas D'Agasto is just right.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This movie reminded me of one of those cheesy low budget movies you used to be able to find at 3am on the USA Network. Some might take that as an insult, but seriously, when was the last time you managed to turn one of those off before the clock hit 5am and you realized that you just got caught up in a total schlock-fest and loved every minute of it!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It starts out at the bottom of the barrel, and painstakingly climbs its way up that barrel wall, until it ends, and you find yourself saying silly things like, "That was sweet."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/fired-up/33561/trailers

Back To Top

Towelhead

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a book by Alicia Erian, Towelhead spins a humorous tale of a 13-year-old Arab-American girl's struggle with racism, sexual awakening, and statutory rape.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Summer Bishil, Peter Macdissi, Aaron Eckhart, Toni Collette, Maria Bello, Eugene Jones III, Matt Letscher, Chase Ellison, Gemmenne de la Pena, Lynn Collins

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Relatable, titillating and squirm inducing, this film has all the elements that make independent films worth making.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's moving, but not gut-wrenching, as it always stays light, even in the darkest of situations.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: You can bet on it. I don't personally believe in betting, but hey, it's your money.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Watch out, Summer Bishil! Your private life is about to come to an end. Before long the tabloids will be stalking your house, just waiting for you to do something humiliating, so they can photograph it, and expose your deepest, darkest secrets to the world... The upside is you're about to become the next "It Girl."

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Alan Ball, in his feature directorial debut, perfectly captures even the most subtle and complex of emotions as they drift fleetingly across the actors' faces. And sometimes, even the editing is funny.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: You'll quickly be reminded of why Alan Ball won an Academy Award for American Beauty. Here, in another depiction of how hard it is for us humans to walk that ambiguous moral ground, the dialogue is always unexpected and the moments are consistently original. He gives credit to the book author, but just to be safe, I'd like to give both of them a hug.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If you're squeamish about period blood, you may want to steer clear of this one. You'll be missing a great film. But that's what you get for being a big baby.

Back To Top