Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Documentary and concert film about the mind-boggling rise to fame of teen sensation, Justin Bieber... Or as my Dad calls him, Justin Bieller.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Justin Bieber, his mom, dad, childhood friends and neighbors, his team, Scooter Braun, Usher, L.A. Reid, Boyz II Men, Miley Cyrus, Jaden Smith, Sean Kingston, Ludacris, and JB's kick-ass backup dancers!

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! I went to this because I was desperate to figure out why Justin Bieber is such a big deal. His songs are lame, his voice sounds like any given child who can hold a tune. Yes, he's very cute, and he has AMAZING hair, I'll give him that. Well, folks, I think I finally get it. While his voice couldn't be more boring sounding on most of the songs he's known for, in his original YouTube viral video (the Chris Brown cover), he actually demonstrates some pretty fancy vocal stylings (for a kid). But most importantly, because he came up through the internet and not the radio, each and every one of his fans deeply believes that she personally discovered him. That makes him feel accessible, like a real person, that she actually could marry-- which, of course, is the only thing any of his fans really want from him.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a lot of funny stuff, from the hair flipping montage, to the montage of girls crying.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: More than once. For me the first bout came in the first ten minutes, from my usual trigger: a parent getting emotional over how impressed they are by their child. The second bout came from all the girls crying... But that might have just been because I was laughing so hard.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Award to Justin Bieber for becoming an icon singer without having a single good song.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It turns out that Bieber's songs aren't that bad when they're sung by Boyz II Men, Usher, and even Miley Cyrus. And everyone in the film is also really good at acting like Justin Bieber has a voice worth paying attention to.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: When the stage fireworks went off in 3D, my Dad (who I coaxed into seeing this with me, mostly just to see if I could) said, "I've gotta get some of those for when I argue my case in front of the Supreme Court." Hey, the director must've done something right to make my Dad think that was a good idea.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As my Dad pointed out, he liked it because it was all about the joy of the music and not at all about money. "Although," he added, "You can't help but think about how much money they're all making."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D Trailer

Back To Top

Michael Jackson's This is It

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A documentary rock concert movie, chronicling the rehearsals leading up to what would have been Michael Jackson's farewell tour, if he had lived to perform it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega, and the most talented dancers, singers, and musicians they could find to match Jackson's level of skill and professionalism.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! I haven't been a fan of MJ's since about 1983, but like everyone else who sees this movie, I'm a born again. The man has been singing and dancing for the last 45 years, and his experience shows why he's the King of Pop. Not only does he demonstrate a complete mastery of every aspect of the musical subtleties, but he moves, shakes and dances from the beginning to the end of the concert, with the energy of a 5 year old and the physical precision of man who can't possibly be 50 and only days away from dying.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not a ton of humor here, but there was one funny thing I noticed... he has really big hands!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Between the looming memory of his recent death during these very rehearsals, the freakishness of his surgically rendered face, the memory of how he was both abused and worshiped as a kid, and the nagging thought that he may have molested small children, you will go through a multitude of conflicting emotions as you witness his genius unfolding before your eyes.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The Academy will want to honor this man, and what better way than a posthumous Oscar for Best Original Song. Now "This Is It" isn't a very good song, but the Academy rarely gives out Oscars to songs that don't suck, so I think he's got it in the bag.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Michael Jackson is way more in control of his set than you'd expect. He's totally with it, and every direction he gives creates improvements. But I'd like to take this moment to also talk about some of the people in the background. If you watch "So You Think You Can Dance?", you ain't seen nothing compared to the nameless, faceless background dancers, who earn a spot next to MJ (they really call him that!) Also, I was very pleased to see a gorgeous blond, Australian rocker chick on lead guitar (who looked somewhere between 12 and 14 years old, I might add). Remember the name Orianthi, and if anyone ever tries to tell you that girls can't rock out as hard as boys, just throw that one back in their face.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Kenny Ortega became known to the masses by directing Disney's High School Musical movies, but in this film-- which at times plays like a really good DVD extra-- we get to watch him behind the scenes putting together very original and complicated visuals that range from green screen to 3D to dropping Humphrey Bogart into scenes with Michael Jackson. To quote what he says to MJ in the film, "I'm a fan."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is none, so I'm going to take this moment to talk about pedophilia. I'm the type of person who's always tended to believe that MJ did it-- especially because he's paid out millions of dollars in lawsuits... BUT, I've recently become involved in a business negotiation where I've been forced to deal with one of the lawyers who got $20 million off of Michael Jackson for the father of one of the kids in question. This lawyer has turned out to be so incredibly incompetent, dumb, and evil, that I decided to do a little research on him via the Bar Association. Well, I found out that this lawyer has a very bad reputation as a swindler and a cheat, that the Bar Association once had to put him on probation for his crooked behavior (this is something they rarely have to do), and that upon closer examination, all signs in his particular case against Jackson point directly to extortion-- which would mean the pop star was innocent, and simply the victim of being too rich, too famous, and also a little too weird. But you would be weird too, if you were raised like he was without a childhood, and with an abusive, slave driving father.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/michael-jacksons-this-is-it/38967/trailers

Back To Top

Taking Woodstock

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: To avoid going broke, a young man (Demetri Martin) agrees to host the Woodstock Music Festival at his parents' motel, and you all know what happened from there.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Demetri Martin, Imelda Staunton, Henry Goodman, Eugene Levy, Emile Hirsch, Paul Dano, Kelli Garner, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Don Fogler, Jonathan Groff, Liev Schreiber, Gabriel Sunday, Mamie Gumer, Kevin Sussman, Adam LeFevre

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Mostly due to a severe lack of period music, you never get lost in that 1960s feeling that was probably the main reason you chose to attend this movie in the first place.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: For all the silly places my sister, my dad, and I used to tell people they'd reached when they called our home, none of our attempts to be funny when we answered the phone were as hilarious as the way in which Demetri Martin answers the phone, in all seriousness, at his parents' motel.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if watching people go from flat broke to rich to richer in seconds flat makes you feel sad for your own insurmountable debt.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Considering the amount of nudity in the film, I was amazed to look around the theater at the vast number of blue hairs in the audience. Then it dawned on me, that these old geezers are about the right age to have actually attended this momentous event. And since the Academy is also made up of old farts, I'm going to assume that they too have a nostalgic affinity for smoking dope, dropping acid, and enjoying free love, and therefore, I'm not going to rule out awards consideration quite as fast as I should.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I don't know if you've ever seen Imelda Staunton in a film before, but I've seen her in two. And based on that tiny sampling, I would venture to say that everything she does is genius, and she should be doing a lot more of it. She is the highlight of the film, the source of most of the comedy, and in all seriousness, I would be shocked if she didn't win the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Ang Lee puts his artistic mark on the thing, but the pace is over-indulgent and self-important, at the same time. Also, I blame him for this film's greatest shortcoming-- which is the measly 3 recognizable songs on the soundtrack. You see, we know the problem wasn't that the budget was too low to afford more songs, because they had enough money to hire Ang Lee to direct.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is a nice story about family at the center of it all, and a few scenes that are particularly special. But the film starts out slow and never reaches the speed limit. So it's like driving behind an old person, and then having to smell them next to you in the theater... Probably sitting in a better seat than you, because they made you late.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/taking-woodstock/34750/trailers

Back To Top

Post Grad

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A new college graduate (Alexis Bledel) has her whole life planned out. Unfortunately, the real world is not as easy to navigate as she had imagined. Not only is it hard to find a job, but now she has to move back in with her eccentric family.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Alexis Bledel, Zach Gilford, Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch, Carol Burnett (yes, you read that correctly), Bobby Coleman, Rodrigo Santoro, Catherine Reitman, J.K. Simmons

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is the kind of movie you can't turn off when you catch it on television. It's cute, it's predictable, kind of mindless, but with some interesting-- if not over the top-- characters... come to think of it, this movie would've made a great sitcom.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It starts out looking like it'll be fun for the whole family, but then the laughs start to be just for the kids in some places, just for the adults in others, and in some spots, they may be just for the writer.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The character played by Catherine Reitman could make anybody cry. And not just because you're jealous that she got to be related to director-producers, Ivan and Jason.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: They're not quite Bette Davis eyes, but Alexis Bledel has eyes so big and blue they look like they've been photoshopped in every frame. Like an Alien. Based on this film's measly $15 million budget, I'm gonna assume the eyes are hers. And if we had been in high school together, I definitely would have voted for her for Prettiest Eyes in the senior poll. Instead, I had to vote for my friend Jenny. She won. But she's not on Facebook, so we're not really friends anymore. Mostly because I have no idea where she is. If you see her, tell her to call me.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Despite my earlier crack at her nepotistic advantages, Catherine Reitman gives a damn solid performance as a strong and confident total biatch! You will hate her so much, you won't know what to do with yourself. Aside from that, we're reminded why Michael Keaton used to be a big star, as he gives the kind of comic performance that I had forgotten he was capable of. It's nice to see Jane Lynch playing a family woman. Partly because we haven't seen her do that yet, and partly because it's just nice to see Jane Lynch. And did you see that part about how Carol Burnett is in this? She's a whole mess of funny.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The film starts out with some interesting visuals involving a vlog and some instant messaging, but it soon works its way into being fairly pedestrian. Perfectly fine, just not up to the level that it promises in the opening scenes. There is one moment where the dad has a big build up to showing us something that we already know what it is, and the main character rolls her eyes, mirroring what the audience feels. I wish the director had left that bit on the edit room floor, but aside from that, Vicky Jenson, in her first stint as a live-action feature film director, shows that she's ready to take things up a notch.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As you can see from the logline, there's not much to this movie. But the wacky family gives way to some cheery dialogue. And emotionally, there's one character you feel for so much that you don't know whether to hate Alexis for not noticing how sweet, beautiful and loving he is, or to hate him for pining over her for so long with such obviously negative results. It's also hard to believe that she would be able to resist his charm and be "best friends" for so long, or that he wouldn't get fed up with her rejections, and quit her long before this movie even begins.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The soundtrack is pretty decent, if you like girl singers and mellow guy singers who sound like they're singing to girls.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/post%20grad/trailers

Back To Top

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When Hollywood starlet, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), gets too big for her britches, her dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) hijacks her back to Tennessee, to reconnect her with her roots, and Miley bitches.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Lucas Till, Melora Hardin, Emily Osment, Vanessa Williams, Peter Gunn, Margo Martindale, Jason Earles, Michael Musso, Moises Arias, Barry Bostwick

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you are or ever have been a pre-teen girl, there is no good reason not to set aside your pretension and indulge in this festival of corniness.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly at how excited all the screaming, pubescent girls in the audience get every time Miley's love interest, Travis, smiles at her. You can feel their hormones raging through you as if they were your own... And that alone is reason enough to see this one in the theaters.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I'm really too embarrassed to talk about that right now... Please don't lose respect for me.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: At this year's Academy Awards, Miley Cyrus humiliated herself on the red carpet by saying that she hoped to be back next year as a nominee for this movie... But considering that every song in the movie is a number one hit waiting to happen, I think her crazy prediction could actually come true. I even found myself dancing in my chair to some of the country ditties.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Who is Lucas Till?... You won't even need to ask that question in about one week. As Miley's charming, emotionally open, and thoughtful love interest, Lucas Till has just been positioned to compete for a spot on the list of young America's biggest heart throbs. Robert Pattinson watch your back!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I'm not one to notice "goofs" in a movie, (i.e. continuity mistakes), but in this one I saw several without even trying. Including things like people on stage in one shot, who weren't on stage in the next, and clocks on the wall whose time did not match the lighting or time of day being described in the dialogue.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It stays true to the TV show it's based on, in both wacky tone and ridiculous premise. If you like the silly plots on the Disney Channel show, you will appreciate how the writer built on it to tell the only storyline that justifies a feature length movie. And how could you not like the silly plots on the Disney Channel show? She puts on a blond wig! There's no way anybody could recognize that she's a famous pop star in that disguise!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Right when you thought line dancing was dead, Miley unleashes her new electric slide on the world. Since this girl is an instant trend factory, second only to Dora the Explorer, I'm just going to throw caution to the wind and accept the fact that we'll all be doing this synchronized dance together the next time we see each other at a wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or other dance-oriented function. See you on the dance floor!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/hannah-montana-the-movie/33072/trailers

Back To Top