Amazon Holiday

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When Hollywood starlet, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), gets too big for her britches, her dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) hijacks her back to Tennessee, to reconnect her with her roots, and Miley bitches.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Lucas Till, Melora Hardin, Emily Osment, Vanessa Williams, Peter Gunn, Margo Martindale, Jason Earles, Michael Musso, Moises Arias, Barry Bostwick

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. If you are or ever have been a pre-teen girl, there is no good reason not to set aside your pretension and indulge in this festival of corniness.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly at how excited all the screaming, pubescent girls in the audience get every time Miley's love interest, Travis, smiles at her. You can feel their hormones raging through you as if they were your own... And that alone is reason enough to see this one in the theaters.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I'm really too embarrassed to talk about that right now... Please don't lose respect for me.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: At this year's Academy Awards, Miley Cyrus humiliated herself on the red carpet by saying that she hoped to be back next year as a nominee for this movie... But considering that every song in the movie is a number one hit waiting to happen, I think her crazy prediction could actually come true. I even found myself dancing in my chair to some of the country ditties.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Who is Lucas Till?... You won't even need to ask that question in about one week. As Miley's charming, emotionally open, and thoughtful love interest, Lucas Till has just been positioned to compete for a spot on the list of young America's biggest heart throbs. Robert Pattinson watch your back!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I'm not one to notice "goofs" in a movie, (i.e. continuity mistakes), but in this one I saw several without even trying. Including things like people on stage in one shot, who weren't on stage in the next, and clocks on the wall whose time did not match the lighting or time of day being described in the dialogue.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It stays true to the TV show it's based on, in both wacky tone and ridiculous premise. If you like the silly plots on the Disney Channel show, you will appreciate how the writer built on it to tell the only storyline that justifies a feature length movie. And how could you not like the silly plots on the Disney Channel show? She puts on a blond wig! There's no way anybody could recognize that she's a famous pop star in that disguise!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Right when you thought line dancing was dead, Miley unleashes her new electric slide on the world. Since this girl is an instant trend factory, second only to Dora the Explorer, I'm just going to throw caution to the wind and accept the fact that we'll all be doing this synchronized dance together the next time we see each other at a wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or other dance-oriented function. See you on the dance floor!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?


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