Micmacs

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After getting hit in the head with a stray bullet, Bazil (Dany Boon) becomes homeless and is taken in by a group of other homeless people, each with their own strange talent. Together they embark on a convoluted plot to bring down the arms dealer who shot him, as well as the arms dealer who killed his father, by pinning them against each other.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Dany Boon, André Dussollier, Nicolas Marié, Jean-Pierre Marielle, Yolande Moreau, Julie Ferrier, Omar Sy, Dominique Pinon, Michel Crémadès, Marie-Julie Baup

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's sure to become a French cult classic, which some people will refer to as genius, and others will refer to as bizarre.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The convenience of the many coincidences that lead the characters to formulate a perfectly played-out, mistake free, full proof heist plan might. But the Jerry Lewis-like antics won't.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but it hopes to get you riled up against arms dealers... just in case you didn't already think they were the bad guys.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It really should be considered for Art Direction. It's pretty cool.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Over the top and clown-like. Think Jim Carrey crossed with Charlie Chaplin speaking a made up, nonsensical language. Not my thing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Jean-Pierre Jeunet is the Tim Burton of France.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Surreal and requiring a great deal of suspension of disbelief. Yes, it's meant to be a fantasy version of reality (starting with the man surviving a bullet to the forehead), but ultimately this group of homeless misfits turns out to be more clever than Ethan Hunt, Macgyver, and Einstein, all rolled into one. So you have to either go with it, or go home.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/micmacs/10011343/trailers

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Observe and Report

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A mall cop (Seth Rogen) is totally f'd in the head.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Dan Bakkedahl, Jesse Piemons, John Yuan, Matt Yuan, Celia Weston, Collette Wolfe, Randy Gambill, Alston Brown, Danny McBride, Ben Best, Aziz Ansari, Patton Oswalt

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This comedy is so dark, it may actually cause you to long for Paul Blart.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The jokes are mean and ugly, and some of them even make you laugh.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I cried a little inside when I realized that I enjoyed watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop slightly more than Ronnie Barnhardt: Go "f" yourself if you think I'm not a good enough cop... Did it write that out loud? It's okay. I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go kill myself now...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: ... Not to cry wolf, but I decided to put of my imminent pending suicide on hold so I could give this movie the award for Best Use of Totally Unknown, Chubby, Asian Twins. They're adorable, and they're not even babies!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Rarely have I seen so much believable drunkenness as in this movie. Anna Faris' eyes actually get glossy, making her look wasted, tired and haggered, like only a drunk slut can. And Celia Weston, best known as that actress you've seen a million times in a million movies, but couldn't possibly name any of them, even for a million dollars, is incredible as Seth Rogen's alcoholic, slurring-her-words, insensitively-brutally-honest mom.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The budget has gone up exponentially from Jody Hill's first film, The Foot Fist Way, but the production quality hasn't gone up proportionally.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Many admirable risks are taken in this attempt to be something different. Most are cringe-worthy disasters, but a few teeter on the edge of genius. Thanks, at least, for trying to do something original.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Male frontal nudity. Lots of it. And not the pretty kind.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/observe%20and%20report/trailers

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fat, pathetic loser (Kevin James) falls for a girl who's way out of his league, and despite her rejection, puts his life on the line to save her from a robbery in which she is taken hostage. Do girls ever really fall for that old trick?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kevin James, Jayma Mays, Keir O'Donnell, Raini Rodriguez, Shirley Knight, Stephen Rannazzisi, Peter Gerety, Bobby Cannavale, Adam Ferrara, Allen Covert, Jamal Mixon, Adhir Kalyan, Erick Avari

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you're the kind of person who laughs at absolutely anything, this movie is for you. If you have standards of any kind, skip it. And separately, if that giant tub of man hadn't done 9 years on TV as the King of Queens, that girl wouldn't give him the time of day, even if he did save her life. She'd say thank you, and ask if they could be friends... Just in case she happened upon an unattractive lonely woman to set him up with.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you find an hour and a half of a guy riding around on a Segway funny, all I can say is... Your mother must be very proud.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I will say this, it is very depressing.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yes, First Mall Cop Movie to Come Out this Year. (Seth Rogen has one coming soon called Observe and Report, which will undoubtedly be compared to this. Without having seen it, I can guarantee that the Seth Rogen one is better.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The ninja gymnastics was the best thing the acting had going for it. I don't know who decided that ninja skateboarders, bmx riders, and half-pipe-riding roller skaters would make for a compelling band of robbers, but if you overlook the ridiculousness of it all, you will notice that their stunts are still more interesting than the parts of the acting that involve words.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: In the scene in the Rainforest Cafe, where Blart takes down the grand majority of the bad guys, you have no idea how he got them. Why? Because the director doesn't show us those parts. Why doesn't he? My guess is because they had run out of ideas by that point in the script. After all, it's not so easy to convince an audience that an out of shape Mall Cop could take on 6 athletic ninja villains, who are all coming at him at once, and win.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: While it couldn't be more lowbrow if it had been a straight to DVD movie, it did have a few clever moments in which Paul Blart had to "outsmart" (in quotes) the robbers, in order to take them down. Considering how much money it's made, you probably have a friend who's already seen it, so maybe you can just get the Cliff's Notes from him.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: They somehow forgot to mention in the promos that this was a Christmas movie. Maybe because there's no more relevant time to put out a Christmas movie than 2 weeks after Christmas is over. God I hate January movies.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/paul-blart-mall-cop/31338/trailers

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Wendy and Lucy

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: While some might describe this as the sobering account of a young woman’s life, as misfortune and bad luck conspire to leave her destitute, I would describe it as the Michelle Williams-loses-her-dog movie.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michelle Williams, Will Patton, Lucy the Dog, Wally Dalton, Larry Fessenden, Ayanna Berkshire, Will Oldham

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This is sort of an ‘anti-movie.’ It has no plot to speak of, no character arcs, and no real conclusion. It truly is 80 minutes of watching Wendy (Michelle Williams) look for her lost dog (Lucy) in some depressing Oregon blue-collar town where pretty much nothing else happens. I’d be willing to bet that Michelle Williams’ home movies have more dramatic thrust than this collection of images and sounds. And higher production values as well.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: No. But after the movie was over, we laughed a lot at our friend Brian’s impersonation of Wendy looking for her dog. He just put his hoodie up and wandered around calling out: “Lucy!... Lew!... Lucy!” I counted even a few strangers laughing. They, too, had clearly seen the film.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Yes. It will make you weep for the current state of indie films. Because when boring, pointless pieces of of film like this are not only getting made, but also getting released, it kind of justifies why most of the independent film making companies closed up shop last year. Independent film is dying. But if this is what passes for independent film, maybe it deserves to die.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It has already won Best Film and Best Actress (Michelle Williams) from the Toronto Film Critics Association. It’s nominated in the same categories for the Spirit Awards. After seeing it, I can honestly say that Canadians have no taste and filmmakers should be insulted if they get nominated for a Spirit Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Thanks to filmmaker Todd Haynes, a mutual friend of the director and Michelle Williams, all parties were able to convince her to sign on-- proving once again that old Hollywood adage: it’s not what you know, but who you know. I can’t think of a single good reason why Williams would do this project, unless she was craving an award from the Toronto Film Critics and had a psychic premonition that they’d vote her the winner. I mean, she’s fine, but like I’ve said before, in my review of Deception, she deserves much better parts. Anyway, to talk about acting in an anti-movie is like answering a question about editing while watching America’s Funniest Home Videos: oxymoronic.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This anti-movie at least adheres to a few well-worn rules when making a low-budget indie that’s meant to be depressing: open on an overcast day as a train moves through a rail yard. Check. Now move to a meandering overly-long tracking shot of the star in which you can’t really make out that it’s the star. Check. Cover that with someone humming a pointless tune and we’ll go ahead and pretend that’s the score. Check. I’m beginning to wonder if there was even a director behind the camera because it all seemed like a collection of security-camera images that caught Michelle Williams roaming around Oregon looking for her dog in real time for 80 minutes. Are you still reading this?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is none. There were opportunities for dramatic story-telling set forth, but each of them was promptly avoided like the plague. Wendy could have gone off the rails and gotten angry, or confronted someone a number of times, but the writers simply defused each dramatic opportunity with a character who doesn't stand up for herself. This anti-movie is supposed to be a mediation on our times and economy. How responsible are we for each other? What is the American Dream in 2009, and does it still really exist? Those are truly interesting themes. None of which have any resonance in Wendy and Lucy. I did feel for Wendy – probably because of Michele Williams. But the character is pretty much an idiot.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Did I mention that this is not a movie?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzMP6jQ5Txc

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