The Twilight Saga: New Moon

(Guest Review by Kacy)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Vampires, Werewolves and teen angst. Oh my God-- can you believe Edward actually dumps Bella?! I mean his reasons are good, but still! And then her only choice is to fall into the loving arms of Jacob-- who's a werewolf-- which is totally, like, an enemy of a vampire!

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Anna Kendrick, Jackson Rathbone, Cam Gigandet, Michael Sheen, Peter Facinelli, Rachelle Lefevre, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Dakota Fanning, Chaske Spencer, Billy Burke, Jamie Campbell-Bower, Graham Greene, Edi Gathegi, Cameron Bright, Christopher Heyerdahl, Charlie Bewley, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon, Christian Serratos, Gil Birmingham, Tinsel Korey, Tyson Houseman

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you are a teenager, definitely. Or, of course, if you are a Cougar who likes looking at young men with their shirts off. And really, who isn't?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: In true Twilight form, most of the laughs come from the cheesy special effects.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if you wanted to see more of Edward because he’s hardly in this film
(nor was he in the book much).

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's got the Teen Choice awards in the bag... but we knew that before the film even came out.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Nothing spectacular, but no one is going to worry about what's coming out of those mens' mouths, because they're too busy staring at their shirtless werewolf bods.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Better than the first film. However, in the book, Bella just heard Edward's voice in her head, whereas in the film, the director made the bad choice of showing him as a floating vision.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Fairly true to the book. But I found it frustrating that this story
portrays a weak female who gives up on life when her boyfriend breaks up
with her. And she pines over the bad boy who left her, instead of giving
the nice boy a shot. Finally there are times when the story feels like a
classic case of domestic violence. The women (Bella and Sam’s wife) are
hurt by their “monster” men, but love and stay with them despite this. If I
had a daughter, I wouldn’t be thrilled that this kind of story and
characters is one that teenagers love and value. It’s a sad statement on
our society.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-twilight-saga-new-moon/36045/trailers

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The White Ribbon

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Pre-World War I Germany, in a small town made up of self-righteous a-holes, strange accidents start to occur on a regular basis, and nobody knows why or who.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Christian Friedel, Ernst Jacobi, Leonie Benesch, Ulrich Tukur, Ursina Lardi, Burghart Klaussner, Steffi Kuhnert, Josef Bierbichler, Gabriela Maria Schmeide, Rainer Bock, Susanne Lothar

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It’s in black and white. It’s in German. It’s got subtitles. It’s a period piece. And it’s over 2 hours long. But if you enjoy not having a story spoon fed to you as to the why’s, how’s, and what for’s, this dark story could be your favorite film of the year.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If the depraved nature of heartless humans humors you, you will. My audience certainly discovered their dark side.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Especially if you’re Jewish, because it’s hard to look at all those Aryans and listen to the harsh German accents they are not using in jest… Although this movie certainly explains the type of cultural background it would take to lead so many people to think that joining the SS is cool.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the Palme D’Or at Cannes. Which says more about the French than it does about this movie.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Even the smallest of children were able to cry on cue.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: About as deliberate as it gets. You get the impression that Michael Haneke gets everything he wants on the set, and there’s nothing accidental anywhere.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Pay very close attention to the narration in the first 2 minutes. Write it down if you have to. It’s the only clue you will get as to what this movie was about, and when the story ends, it will all seem much more relevant.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Regardless of your intellectual prowess, I suggest you bring the smartest person you know. You’re going to need someone to piece it together with you when it’s over, and you won’t know where to start.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-white-ribbon/38469/trailers

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Up in the Air

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A professional down-sizer (George Clooney) prides himself on having the perfect life, which consists of flying around the country firing people without ever having to make any real human connections. Then, two women (Anna Kendrick & Vera Farmiga) come along and create circumstances, at work and at play respectively, that force him to start doubting the validity of the lifestyle he has come to cherish.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Jason Bateman, Melanie Lynskey, Danny McBride, Zach Galifianakis, J.K. Simmons, Tamala Jones, Amy Morton

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This film is much closer in tone and style to Thank You for Smoking than it is to Juno-- which Reitman didn't write. If you loved Juno, this is nothing like it. If you loved Thank You for Smoking, you may be in business, as this story also focuses on justifying a controversial job, and how it makes the man who does it cold hearted. Ultimately, the film is extremely well done, but thoroughly depressing and anxiety inducing, so unless you can detach yourself from the feelings it's eliciting in you, watching this may not be all that enjoyable. Especially if you're experiencing the effects of the current economic climate.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: A lot of times you will think something is funny without actually having any urge to laugh about it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but in a weird way, it could inspire you to get back on your anti-depressant medication.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's highly likely to be nominated in the Screenplay, Directing, and Best Picture categories, but I think it's only got an outside chance of winning a WGA Award (Writers Guild of America).

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Vera Farmiga's face can say everything while doing nothing. George Clooney's face can say nothing much while doing anything. And Anna Kendrick's face only ever seems to say one thing, which I believe is something to the effect of, "The thing in my butt is stuck so far up there, that my gas has backed up all the way to my eyeballs, which I regularly have to squint and squeeze shut, in order to prevent myself from letting one rip out of my peep holes. And I really don't wanna do that, because then anyone who sees it will think I'm an eye-farting weirdo, and I totally can't handle the embarrassment." Just watch, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Jason Reitman knows what he's doing. From the moment the opening credits start to roll, he establishes his visual themes, setting them to high energy music that gets you fired up for what you are about to see, and he maintains his clearly defined personal style throughout. Did I just say "personal style"? Tyra would be so proud.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The craft is remarkable. This is one of those scripts that manages to clearly communicate almost all of what it wants to say without ever saying any of it directly. Unfortunately, the one place where it fails to communicate clearly is at the ending, which is ambiguous, and may or may not be completely devoid of hope, depending on how you chose to interpret it.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/up-in-the-air/34956/trailers

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The Blind Side

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The true story of how offensive tackle, Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) was plucked out of the projects and invited to live with a well-to-do family, and go to a fancy private high school, where he learned that he was a naturally gifted football player.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Quinton Aaron, Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Jae Head, Lily Collins, Ray McKinnon, Kathy Bates, Kim Dickens, Tom Nowicki, Adriane Lenox, Melody Weintraub

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! When sports movies aren't focused on the sport, but rather on the growth of the characters, they can be as heart-warming as a baby hugging a puppy. This one is, and somehow I came away with some interesting knowledge about football, too.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Quite a bit actually, especially at the visual of the giant-sized Michael being led around by his new little brother and best friend, who is hilariously cast with the smallest possible kid they could find for the part.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Several times.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: They don't give awards to feel good movies.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: At some point, I actually forgot I was watching Sandra Bullock. Tim McGraw plays possibly the most perfect (read non-existent) husband I have ever seen-- even for the fictional world. And Jae Head, as SJ, is the Jonathan Lipnicki of the new millenium (i.e. weirdly cute kid with all the good lines in a movie about sports).

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The football action is sometimes difficult to follow, but drama-wise even the slightest of important subtle expressions to cross a person's face is captured to convey everything the character is thinking. Also there are a lot of interesting shots using reflections on glass and in mirrors, which manage to be beautiful, without distracting from the story or the emotion.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Oh my God, white people are awesome! They're so nice and pretty and perfect and Christian that it's sometimes a little hard to believe. Aside from that little suspension of disbelief, the script has it all, from the one liners to the touching.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It never gets boring, but it does start to feel like it's over 2 hours, which it is.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-blind-side/37685/trailers

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Pirate Radio

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Back in the 1960s, when British radio only allowed rock n' roll to be played for 1 hour a day, groups of DJ's formed rock stations off the coast of the UK, where they lived and partied together on boats, so they could rock out all day and night, without breaking the law. Over half the population enjoyed listening to these moderately legal radio stations on a regular basis.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Tom Sturridge, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Darby, Nick Frost, Chris O'Dowd, Kenneth Branagh, Jack Davenport, Rhys Ifans, January Jones, Emma Thompson, Tom Wisdom, Sinead Matthews, Ralph Brown, Talulah Riley, Tom Brooke, Ike Hamilton, Will Adamsdale, Katherine Parkinson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is a high energy movie, based around the love of good rock n' roll music, with a lot of ambiance, and almost no st-argh-y.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Jokes there are a' plenty.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: When you watch a bunch of horny men together on a ship for months and years at a time, it quickly becomes clear why pirates obsess on wenches, ale, and walking the plank... They are bored out of their blasted minds!... But that doesn't mean their debauchery won't still make some more high falutin' moralists cry inside.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Soundtrack. This thing is wall to wall 60s music. And not the crappy stuff either. The kind that makes you think that for every $100 they spent, $99 of it when to ASCAP.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I love the Brits... And Philip Seymour Hoffman is good, too. But I feel sorry for Tom Sturridge, because with his pasty white skin, dark hair and cherry red lips, if he'd come along a few years earlier, he could have had Robert Pattinson's career. The good news for old Tom is that Vampire movies seem to be getting more, not less, popular, and it shouldn't be too long before someone puts him in one.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing injects electricity into a so-so script... But mostly, that's because the guy can pick some music. And speaking of electricity, am I the only one who wonders how a ship can sink with all sorts of electrical machinery on it, and no one gets electrocuted as they're wading through the flood waters? Or for that matter, speaking into a wet microphone?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The script contains little hints of story in it, most of which are gravely underdeveloped (especially the storyline about the government shutting them down, which comes and goes like a ship passing in the sea.) Some of the moderately developed, meatless storylines have set ups and pay offs, but mostly it's a fun character piece about wacky djs taking the piss out of each other. (Please tell me I used that expression right, because it would certainly be the first time I did.)

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/pirate-radio/36833/trailers

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A Single Man

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Colin Firth) tries to cope with the sudden death of his lover, who-- it might interest some people to know-- was also a man (Matthew Goode).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Colin Firth, Matthew Goode, Julianne Moore, Nicholas Hoult, Ginnifer Goodwin, Ryan Simpkins, Paulette Lamori, Lee Pace

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is what people call a "beautiful film", meaning that it has a dramatic score and meditatively seems to be addressing something grand and important. You know in your heart, simply from reading that last sentence, if that's the type of thing you respond to.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Apparently, some people in my theater think suicide is funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you have recently experienced a loss, you will find the emotions here unbearable, and shouldn't go. If you haven't recently experienced a loss, you probably won't cry. So, either way, it's a no.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's got buzz. Having seen it, I'm not exactly sure around what...

Q: How is the Acting?

A: What I love about gay films by fashion designers is that the men are hot, tan, and dressed impeccably (when they're dressed). Over all, there's more eye candy than acting. And speaking of eyes, what exactly is the symbolism behind all those eye close-ups supposed to be?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Tom Ford, Gucci's savior, debuts his visual style on the big screen, and while the lighting choices seemed a thoughtful way to differentiate the cold dead present from the warm lively past, I later read that this was supposed to all take place on the first day after Colin Firth finds out about the death of his lover (not counting the flashbacks to when his lover was alive). Well, it was specifically those lighting choices that confused me as to the time line, because they were not consistent, and sometimes the present shifted from a cold and grey, sepia color scheme to a happier looking warm yellow. Also, there are some scenes that drag on, while not advancing anything.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: To me this is one of those scripts that tries so hard to be subtle and meaningful without spoon feeding anything, that it ends up feeling self important. And in its efforts not to talk down to the audience, it ends up slapping them in the face with an uppity pretension.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eafJ4jvf-sY

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Me and Orson Welles

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A teenager (Zac Efron) is cast in the 1937 Broadway production of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” and comes of age in the shadow of actor/director Orson Welles’ genius.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin, Eddie Marsan, James Tupper, Zoe Kazan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You might try not to pay full price for it. Although, I guess this film could pique the interest of various fans, so here’s a handy guide. Screaming insane tween female Zac Efron fans: stay away and re-watch the High School Musical trilogy on DVD. Forty year-old gay men: sorry, Zac never goes shirtless, re-watch 17 Again. Orson Welles fanatics: it’s an interesting insight into a week of his life, pre-Hollywood filmmaker genius mode. Richard Linklater fans: I don’t know what to tell you, no one gets high in this film and Jack Black is nowhere to be seen.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. The overall tone of the movie is light and there is good wordplay and joke set-ups that pay off with nice chuckles. The funniest revolves around “the Quadruple Space,” but I won’t ruin it for you with an explanation in this review.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. And it’s not built for it anyway so don’t hold that against it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Nothing obvious. But depending on how it plays, a buzz could begin to circle for British stage actor Christian McKay’s portrayal of a young Welles... especially when they realize that he has never acted in a movie before.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s all first rate if not spectacular. Christian McKay steals the show as a 22 year-old Orson Welles putting his budding genius on show. The performance sneaks up on you and builds into something completely authentic. Zac Efron might not blow you away, but there’s no denying his youthful charisma, perfect eyebrows and freakishly long eyelashes. He both naturally seduces and is seduced in a role that doesn’t call for much more than that.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It’s serviceable and works on the relatively low budget the film was shot on. It doesn’t look cheap, but it doesn’t look expensive either. The period detail is all there, but it’s mostly done in medium and close-up shots, which undercut the grandeur of the period. Otherwise the whole thing skips along at a nice pace and never bores.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Probably the biggest problem and the main thing holding the film back from a green light. Zac Efron’s character ‘Richard’ is the dual lead with Orson Welles and it’s an unfortunately underwritten part. Its purpose is for us, the viewer, to see Welles’ genius through the eyes of an everyman, but one can’t help wishing that we knew more about Richard and what he wanted out of life and his experience working in the theater. There also isn’t much conflict as Richard easily gets everything he wants up until the very end. There’s nothing glaringly wrong or bad with the movie, but as good as it is, it’s not hard to imagine how it could have been so much better with another script rewrite.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2003567129/

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The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A woman (Robin Wright Penn) struggles with her identity when her older-man husband is forced to move into a retirement community... and also when she thinks back on how different she is from the person she has forced herself to be.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Robin Wright Penn, Alan Arkin, Maria Bello, Blake Lively, Mike Binder, Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, Ryan McDonald, Monica Bellucci, Zoe Kazan, Julianne Moore, Shirley Knight, Robin Weigert, Tim Guinee

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It's an interesting examination one's ability to reinvent oneself-- at least on the outside.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There aren't that many laughs, but of the ones that are there, at least two will be forever etched in my mind as moments I can mentally call upon whenever I need a good laugh about a private joke.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There's a lot worth crying over, but it most likely won't move you to tears, because you'll be too busy gloating over the fact that all that bad stuff is happening to them, and not you.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I would definitely consider this for some nominations. In particular I think it's got a chance in the acting and directing departments. But realistically, only in the Independent Spirit Awards.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Amazing. First of all, Robin Wright Penn and Maria Bello are two of the best actresses working today, despite the fact that many people still don't know who either of them are, or that they should be first on everyone's casting lists. Robin Wright Penn's pseudo-anonymity is because during her years married to Sean, she only did one movie a year, so as to spend the rest of the time with the kids. Either her kids have grown or the divorce has freed up her schedule, but she seems to be available for a lot more parts lately, which I think we can all be thankful for. As for Maria Bello the only reason I can think of that she's not more well known is that she molds herself so deeply into each role that she plays, that you forget she was in the film by the time you leave, because you're only thinking of the character she played. Also worth mentioning are Blake Lively, who busts free of her Gossip Girl persona, to prove that she's an actress of much greater depth than most of her fans might realize, and Winona Ryder, who put me in the mood for a major comeback. You go, girls!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Rebecca Miller's earlier film, Personal Velocity, made me wonder why this woman was getting a break at all, which led me to do some research on her background, which led to the discovery that she's Daniel Day-Lewis's wife and Arthur Miller's daughter, which led me to understand why she got a break. Now, I've got nothing against nepotism when the receiver can prove that there is a gift beneath the bloodline that's worthy of receiving a chance. And in this film, Miller-Day-Lewis finally proves that she deserves the chances she's gotten, and has at last honed a craft in her own right that's worthy of paying attention to.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's structured unlike any movie you've seen before, and deals with original themes and settings, so even if it's not the feel good movie of the year, it will give you something to think about that can't be easily tied up in a bow, but will likely relate in some way to your own life, or the people in it.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-private-lives-of-pippa-lee/31793/trailers

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Disney's A Christmas Carol 3D

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: If you don't know what A Christmas Carol is about you're probably too young to see a PG movie... or for that matter, to be able to read this.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey, and Jim Carrey! (Don't you love when they say that? Neither do I.) Also with Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Robin Wright Penn, Bob Hoskins, Cary Elwes, Fionnula Flanagan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This is a tried and true interpretation of Dickens' classic tale, that basically does no interpreting at all. If you've seen any version of it before, the only reason to see this one is for the 3D performance capture effects.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: People don't often think about that fact that this is in no way a humorous story by its nature.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you're an actor it should, because if motion capture continues to catch on, your job will soon be obsolete.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The art direction is pretty spectacular, and if nothing else depicts a beautiful traditional Christmas that makes you long for those fantasy filled days, still so far in the future...

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The actors are done no favors by the directing. Each of their animated counterparts are drawn like uglier versions of the real people, and no matter how many motion-capture probes you put on a person, you can never fully capture the look in their eye. That's why most movies hire professional actors and let them do the acting. Using this fancy technique, the director and the animators have to fill in the blanks, and they don't have nearly as much acting experience as the 3D people they're drawing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: In his efforts to turn a 50 minute play into an hour and a half long movie, the director builds endless pauses into the dialogue and the action, most of which seem to exist to create suspense, but in fact are only there to create a good time for a little nap. Turns out, I really needed to catch up on sleep.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: That's funny, there was a writer on this? Because (coincidentally) I recently read the play, by Dickens, and I didn't see any differences... It makes you wonder how much he was paid? And how do I get that job?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If you're only going to see one version of A Christmas Carol this year, make it one of the other ones.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/disneys-a-christmas-carol/30597/trailers

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The Men Who Stare at Goats

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After getting dumped by his wife, a journalist (Ewan McGregor) goes to Iraq to write a story that will win her back, and ends up getting the adventure of his life when he meets an eccentric military man from the psychic superpower division (George Clooney). It's somewhat based on a true story.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Stephen Lang, Robert Patrick, Waleed Zuaiter, Stephen Root, Glenn Morshower

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The premise shows more promise than the execution, which has a perfect wacky tone, but leaves you wondering what it was all supposed to be about.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It is highly reminiscent of a Coen Brothers comedy, only the jokes are a little more laugh out loud. And there are some inside jokes for people who have seen Star Wars... which I guess includes just about everyone.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Really not at all. Although when you see how they torture the prisoners, you may feel terrible for those poor little terrorists.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Jeff Bridges could finally get that nomination he was passed over for when he played The Dude in The Big Lebowski. This character is pretty much the same, except he doesn't bowl, and he's a Colonel in the military.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Aside from Ewan McGregor sometimes slipping into his Scottish accent, the performances showcase four great actors, each playing the role they do best.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Grant Heslov has clearly been paying attention on set. He doesn't quite have that Coen Brothers' flare, but you can still tell he studied at their school.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The structure jumps around in both time and place, but is nonetheless easy to follow, thanks to a running voice over by McGregor's character. Unfortunately, while the jokes are good and the characters are special, the story never really draws you in.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-men-who-stare-at-goats/38908/trailers

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Michael Jackson's This is It

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A documentary rock concert movie, chronicling the rehearsals leading up to what would have been Michael Jackson's farewell tour, if he had lived to perform it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega, and the most talented dancers, singers, and musicians they could find to match Jackson's level of skill and professionalism.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! I haven't been a fan of MJ's since about 1983, but like everyone else who sees this movie, I'm a born again. The man has been singing and dancing for the last 45 years, and his experience shows why he's the King of Pop. Not only does he demonstrate a complete mastery of every aspect of the musical subtleties, but he moves, shakes and dances from the beginning to the end of the concert, with the energy of a 5 year old and the physical precision of man who can't possibly be 50 and only days away from dying.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not a ton of humor here, but there was one funny thing I noticed... he has really big hands!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Between the looming memory of his recent death during these very rehearsals, the freakishness of his surgically rendered face, the memory of how he was both abused and worshiped as a kid, and the nagging thought that he may have molested small children, you will go through a multitude of conflicting emotions as you witness his genius unfolding before your eyes.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The Academy will want to honor this man, and what better way than a posthumous Oscar for Best Original Song. Now "This Is It" isn't a very good song, but the Academy rarely gives out Oscars to songs that don't suck, so I think he's got it in the bag.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Michael Jackson is way more in control of his set than you'd expect. He's totally with it, and every direction he gives creates improvements. But I'd like to take this moment to also talk about some of the people in the background. If you watch "So You Think You Can Dance?", you ain't seen nothing compared to the nameless, faceless background dancers, who earn a spot next to MJ (they really call him that!) Also, I was very pleased to see a gorgeous blond, Australian rocker chick on lead guitar (who looked somewhere between 12 and 14 years old, I might add). Remember the name Orianthi, and if anyone ever tries to tell you that girls can't rock out as hard as boys, just throw that one back in their face.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Kenny Ortega became known to the masses by directing Disney's High School Musical movies, but in this film-- which at times plays like a really good DVD extra-- we get to watch him behind the scenes putting together very original and complicated visuals that range from green screen to 3D to dropping Humphrey Bogart into scenes with Michael Jackson. To quote what he says to MJ in the film, "I'm a fan."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is none, so I'm going to take this moment to talk about pedophilia. I'm the type of person who's always tended to believe that MJ did it-- especially because he's paid out millions of dollars in lawsuits... BUT, I've recently become involved in a business negotiation where I've been forced to deal with one of the lawyers who got $20 million off of Michael Jackson for the father of one of the kids in question. This lawyer has turned out to be so incredibly incompetent, dumb, and evil, that I decided to do a little research on him via the Bar Association. Well, I found out that this lawyer has a very bad reputation as a swindler and a cheat, that the Bar Association once had to put him on probation for his crooked behavior (this is something they rarely have to do), and that upon closer examination, all signs in his particular case against Jackson point directly to extortion-- which would mean the pop star was innocent, and simply the victim of being too rich, too famous, and also a little too weird. But you would be weird too, if you were raised like he was without a childhood, and with an abusive, slave driving father.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/michael-jacksons-this-is-it/38967/trailers

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