Cop Out

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A pair of buddy cops (Bruce Willis & Tracy Morgan) get suspended from the force for playing by their own rules, but continue to play by their own rules when one of them gets robbed of a rare baseball card, which he needs to sell so he can pay for his daughter's wedding. Further proving that weddings get you into trouble.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Guillermo Diaz, Seann William Scott, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Cory Fernandez, Michelle Trachtenberg, Rashida Jones, Jason Lee, Francie Swift, Ana de la Reguara, Susie Essman, Fred Armisen

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Did you ever wonder what would happen if you remade Lethal Weapon, but you made the Black guy the crazy one and the White guy the one who's getting too old for this sh-t? Add in some zaniness, some dick jokes, and a far less professional filming style, and presto! You don't have to wonder anymore.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Probably, but the humor is as annoying as it is funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Maybe if you're a baseball collector.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This script was on the 2008 Blacklist, which is an elite list of the best films that executives in Hollywood read that year. Either they changed a lot of it since then, or Hollywood executives are easily fooled by a few clever jokes, into thinking that an entire script is good.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Bruce Willis was once considered a comic genius of his time, but this film makes him look like he's getting too old for this sh-t. He works too hard in his performance, and still has no clear character definition, as he holds back from laughing at Tracy Morgan's improvs. Adam Brody, on the other hand, has an understated naturalness to his comedic style that I'd be happy to see explored more in bigger roles.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's hard to believe that after 14 years, Kevin Smith still directs like an amateur. His close ups are too tight for the big screen, they are inappropriate for the emotional level of the story, his shot selections are boring and don't always help us follow the story, and he manages to make veterans (like Bruce Willis) look like they can't act. Look, he seems like a nice, intelligent guy, and I would love to sit down at the dinner table with him for some stimulating conversation, but why does he continue to get away with such embarrassing work? Will somebody please tell him to take a directing class?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: So long as you leave your sense of maturity and reality at home, there are a few good jokes and sequences, within this cliche story that could have been any rejected buddy cop script after a quick search and replace to, "Insert raunchier dick joke here."

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The original title of this movie was A Couple of Dicks. Which is both more clever and explains why so many dick jokes.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/cop-out/36928/trailers

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Easier with Practice

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A self-published author (Brian Geraghty) on a book tour/road trip gets an anonymous phone call from a woman looking for phone sex, and thus their relationship begins, despite the fact that they have never met.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Brian Geraghty, Kel O’Neill, Jeanette Brox, Jenna Gavigan, Katheryn Aselton

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. I will say this, there is something engrossing about the bizarre eroticism that forms the central relationship, which in some ways appears to be the most together relationship in the film.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Here and there. But not loudly.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There are definitely some parts that will make you want to punch someone.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It’s nominated for Best First Feature at the Independent Spirit Awards, but it has no chance of winning because it’s the only movie in its bunch that you’ve never heard of. And I’ve come to realize that the voters don’t usually see the movies, therefore popularity matters.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Brian Geraghty carries the movie, and he is disturbed in ways that you cannot relate to. You go right along with it anyway, thanks to his complex and convincing performance.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Simple and indy.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It’s subtle and understated in its story, but overt and overstated in its dialogue. The brother character is a cliché of a cheating, partying dude. And you wonder how he and the main lead could possibly be from the same family. Unless of course the lead has a mental dysfunction, which I certainly wouldn’t rule out.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOsbJsqTZjM

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The Yellow Handkerchief

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Three lonely strangers (William Hurt, Kristen Stewart, Eddie Redmayne) end up together on a road trip, each of them searching for the love that isn't where they came from.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: William Hurt, Kristen Stewart, Eddie Redmayne, Maria Bello

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. People are strange when you're a stranger. This pretty much sums it up. But Jim Morrison may have said it with more feeling.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I heard some people in the theater laugh once, and it jolted me out of the movie, like a sound I couldn't recognize in the context of my experience.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's sad that people are so desperate for love that they will take whatever is right in front of them, only because it's less disappointing than whatever had been right in front of them in the past.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Only movie this year named after a color and a decorative body draping that isn't nominated for an Oscar. (I'm contrasting it with The White Ribbon, she said, well aware that if you have to explain your joke, it probably isn't that funny to begin with, but desperately trying to prove that theory wrong... only to further prove it absolutely correct.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kristen Stewart is a one trick pony... it's not a terrible trick, but it does get redundant.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Udayan Prasad weaves clearly between the past and the present, as the mystery behind why William Hurt's character started the story in jail is revealed.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The reasoning behind each character's motivations for staying, leaving, running away, and coming back are vague at best. I could read into them and decide for myself what each person was driven by, but I don't relate enough to people this marginal to try to wager a guess... My God, did that sentence make me sound like an elitist snob! I'm sorry, marginal people of the world. Oh, no, I'm only making it worse! That does it, I'm locking my mouth shut... for today.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-yellow-handkerchief/32578/trailers

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City Island

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The father (Andy Garcia) of a dysfunctional family discovers the son he never told anyone he had (Steven Strait) in the jail he works at. So he decides to bring him home, and that's what causes all of the family's secrets to suddenly crash into their lies.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Andy Garcia, Julianna Margulies, Steven Strait, Ezra Miller, Dominik Garcia-Lorido, Alan Arkin, Emily Mortimer, Carrie Baker Reynolds, Hope Glendon-Ross

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Cute, cute, cute! This indy comedy is surprisingly complex underneath its simple exterior.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Ezra Miller, who will undoubtedly remind you of a cuter and younger Justin Long, has most of the good lines.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's moving, but more in the way that makes you smile. That said, you may actually laugh at the thing that makes Andy Garcia throw up.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Julianna Margulies would be an obvious choice for next year's Spirit Awards, if only because she plays a convincing working class New York matriarch, but between now and a year from now, I'd be surprised if anyone remembered to nominate her. On the bright side, the film did win the Audience Award at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: You wanna learn about acting? Watch the audition scene in this movie. It's cringe inducing, then bad, and that's when we get to see how good Andy Garcia really is. And by the way, Ezra Miller, who I already mentioned above, is going to be a huge star.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This is the kind of independent comedy that most first time filmmakers only wish they could have made. Of course, Raymond De Felitta has directed at least five films already, so perhaps that's not a very nice comparison. For anyone involved.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The most impressive thing is the way they argue. Right when they say they can't tell somebody something, they let it all out, in your face, here's the whole f-ing truth, now you deal with it!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/city-island/37115/trailers

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The Good Guy

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A wall street hot shot (Scott Porter) trains a guy who's just too good (Bryan Greenberg) in having it all: the money, the looks, the girls. But do women prefer good guys or bad boys?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Scott Porter, Alexis Bledel, Bryan Greenberg, Anna Chlumshky, Aaron Yoo, Andrew McCarthy, Jessalyn Wanlim, Andrew Stewart-Jones, Christine Evangelista, Jeane Fournier

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This movie is like a cross between a failed Hollywood rom-com and fairly decent indy film.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: When all else fails, go for the guttural.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: According to this movie, the only way to make money on wall street is to objectify women and party a lot. And if this hypothesis is correct, it does make me want to cry, because I would never pick those morons to handle my money, and now our whole economy has gone down the toilet!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Chick-flick Most Likely to be Enjoyed by Men and Hated by Women.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Bryan Greenberg really grows on you, while Scott Porter smoothly moves in the opposite direction... but that's what he's supposed to do, so it's actually a compliment.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The pacing is slow and awkward with an amateur feel at the start, but eventually it picks up and takes you with it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The first scene is squirmish and makes you feel uncomfortable (which is good), but that is quickly forgotten as we flashback to how it all came to that. What follows feels like it would best be enjoyed on TV, as the jokes are hit and miss and the story's direction is obvious-- at least up until the tacked on, unexpected ending, that may or may not make it deeper than it seemed.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-good-guy/1431695/trailers

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The Ghost Writer

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Ewan McGregor) hired to ghost write a memoir for a controversial politician (Pierce Brosnan) gets caught up in a political plot that could potentially lead to his death.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Kim Cattrall, Olivia Williams, Tom Wilkinson, Robert Pugh, Jon Bernthal, Timothy Hutton, James Belushi, Eli Wallach

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This thriller doesn't genuinely scare you because you're never quite sure what's going on. My opinion is that-- at least by the time it's over-- a thriller should make you feel smart.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is so subtle, that the wife of the politician had to point out that the ghost writer was funny, before I even noticed that he'd been cracking jokes.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: From the architecture to the weather, it's cold and emotionless.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most exciting Behind the Scenes intrigue... you know what I'm talking about.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: You know that Ewan, Pierce, and Tom Wilkinson are always great so let's talk about Jon Bernthal, who stands out as someone to watch, even in this relatively small and standard role, as the writer's agent. James Belushi shows us that when you shave his head bald, he instantly transforms from comedic patriarch to serious dramatic actor. And Kim Cattrall, unfortunately, proves to have a limited range, both in acting and in accents.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Clearly comfortable in his skin, Roman Polanski doesn't showboat much in this piece, except for the last shot of the movie, which is the stuff that future film class history will be made of.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: You know something is wrong with the story when you notice the score building to something scary, and you find yourself looking around the screen wondering, "What am I supposed to be getting nervous about right now?" Ultimately, the political plot line is too complicated and hard to follow (especially in so much as people's motives are concerned), and the pay off doesn't make you feel like there was anything all that interesting to figure out in the first place.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Here are some questions for those of you who have seen it: What was the manuscript the lawyer gives Ewan at the beginning, and what was the significance of that in the movie? When he's at the Ferry motel, why does Ewan decide to trust Robert Rycart? Why does he write down the information he has figured out, and pass it in a note to the person it concerns? What was the very end conclusion trying to say? (I mean, beside the obvious action that occurs.) Why did that occur and what was the greater meaning of it?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-ghost-writer/32030/trailers

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The Book of Eli

(Guest Review by Tempany)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Eli (Denzel Washington) fights his way across a post apocalyptic world to safely deliver the supposed last St James Bible into safe hands.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Malcom McDowell

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Do not let ANYONE trick you into paying for this movie. They should be paying you. Not only is it a poor man’s version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Several of the hair and wardrobe choices will give you a giggle. Particularly Malcolm McDowell’s hair and Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you paid for it and then you will be a bit weepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Razzies for everything. Although the fight scenes were pretty good… MTV’s best kung-fu kick award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mila Kunis sure is cute and made a nice transition from TV to the big screen with Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But in The Book of Eli she is way out of her league - some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. Tom Waits has a nice little cameo and Denzel is solid. Gary Oldman does his evil guy schtick, but what the movie really needed was the complexity of Ian McShane’s ‘Al Swearingen’ from Deadwood.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They just got the whole thing wrong. Even though it’s set in the future, the Hughes brothers obviously need to stay in the world of sci-fi future and not gritty realism future. There are so many bad choices that this film never had a chance in hell of being good.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure it out – and not because it was clever and tricky. If there was supposed to be a religious message, I never grasped it because I was so distracted by how nothing made sense.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Fighting from the Matrix, warrior girl shots of Mila Kunis channeling Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft, Malcom McDowell stealing wig ideas from Christopher Lloyd, and almost identical cannibal warriors from The Road, makes The Book of Eli a million movies mashed into one very bad one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-book-of-eli/30184/trailers

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Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightnight Thief

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) discovers that he is the Demi-God son of Poseidon, and that it is up to him to find Zeus' lightning bolt and save his mother from Hades' clutches before the Gods go to war and destroy the Earth for good.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Jake Abel, Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, Rosario Dawson, Melina Kanakaredes, Kevin McKidd, Joe Pantoliano, Uma Thurman

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Come on, just from the description you can tell this film has it all: adventure, battle, and a really cute new teenage leading man!... boy.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I think it's funny that I went to see a movie aimed at 10 year old boys and liked it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I'm not confessing to anything... but to be fair, it's not my fault, it used the same trick that got me choked up in Valentine's Day, and that trick gets me every time, because it's so easy, it's practically like cheating! Plus, I was already feeling vulnerable from all the scary creatures that had me jumping out of my seat on a regular basis.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It could probably get a Kid's Choice Award on Nickelodeon. But if not this time, then I imagine the sequel will... No, they haven't made it yet, I'm just assuming that was the point.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: No one does anything all that incredible, but I'm always impressed when people under 18 can do anything at all.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are a lot of beautiful special effects made out of the elements: The skies, the water, the fire, and the debris floating in the air of the Underworld.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Everything is set up in exceedingly obvious ways that a 10 year old could see coming, but at least it always pays off. And the adventure genuinely gets you wondering how they're going to get out of some of the precarious situations they get into.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: NSFW: When Pierce Brosnan reveals himself to be a centaur and his bottom half becomes that of a horse, it looks like he has a gigantic package where his human parts would have been. Did I just say that out loud?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/percy-jackson-and-the-olympians-the/32797/trailers

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Valentine's Day

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Love is really hard and painful, but if you can look past all of a person's personal crap, at least you will have someone to spend Valentine's Day with.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ashton Kutcher, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Biel, Anne Hathaway, Topher Grace, Jamie Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, Queen Latifah, Eric Dane, Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner, Carter Jenkins, George Lopez, Bryce Robinson, Shirley MacLaine, Hector Elizondo, Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Matthew Walker, Larry Miller, Kristen Schaal, Erin Matthews, Julia Springer, Megan Suri

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This movie has too many falsities to mention, but if you can look past all of its personal crap, at least you will know that beautiful people can find each other in time to celebrate Valentine's Day.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are a couple of good laughs, several of which are in the credit bloopers, and one of which (for me), came after the preview for Clash of the Titans 3D-- it was a subscript that read "2D offered in some theaters!"

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I did. I felt really stupid about it at first, but then I ran into a friend in the bathroom, and she had also cried at the same part. I'm telling you this so that you don't have to feel stupid when you cry, too.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best looking couple. Pick one.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Let's talk about Taylor Swift. I can't decide if she is awful or brilliant. She plays a dumb, awkward high school student, and I didn't really buy her dumb act, but her awkward act is to perfection... to the point where it almost sells the dumb act by default. While we're on the topic of Taylors, Taylor Lautner gives a bizarrely stiff performance. And after seeing several of Rob Pattinson's recent indy film efforts, I think I'm starting to lean heavily toward team Edward-- at least where acting ability is concerned.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I love Garry Marshall so much. He doesn't come out to direct that often, but when he does, we can always count on him to bring the schmaltz!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: At first I was getting a headache from trying to keep all the characters and storylines straight, then I went through the part where I scoffed at how the characters and storylines crossed too coincidentally, and then I was frustrated by how easily many of the stories resolved. But by the end, there were some clever surprise twists, which you'll remember more than you'll forget how forgettable the rest of the movie is.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/valentines-day/37962/trailers

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Dear John

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A soldier (Channing Tatum) falls in love with a girl (Amanda Seyfried) on his two week leave from the Army, and promises to come back for her in a year, when his service is up. But then 9/11 happens and he feels pressured to stay loyal to his troop and re-up, forcing his love to do what she has to do.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Richard Jenkins, Henry Thomas, D.J. Cotrona, Scott Cullen, Keith Robinson, Braeden Reed

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If it's romance you want, you'll definitely get what you're looking for. Just try not to imagine what these two people will have in common once they're no longer young, beautiful, hard bodied kids who only need to smile at each other to feel everything the Earth offers to excite your insides.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The first monologue might have you laughing from its cheesiness, but it ends up having a nice twist to it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Actually, the above mentioned twist could make you cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Aside from the early-year timing of the release, I wouldn't be surprised if Richard Jenkins got some recognition in the Best Supporting Actor category.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This is nothing against their acting, but Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried sure are easy on the eyes.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Lasse Holstrom is known for these kinds of schmaltzy romances (see Chocolat and Cider House Rules), but sometimes there's a time to pull back on the musical montages. Like, for example I could have done without the 7 minute interlude of letters being shown and opened but not read to the audience. The whole sequence only ends up making the film feel a lot longer than it is.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is more than one surprise twist in this story, which makes you feel like the writer knows what he's doing, but the dialogue-- especially whatever it is that's supposed to convince us that these two people have enough in common to fall in love for forever-- is lacking. And by "lacking," I mean, there's not enough of it. I have no idea what these people talk about together.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Did you know that Amanda Seyfried can sing? Yeah, that's a little tidbit I learned from watching this movie, and you can, too!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/dear-john/37012/trailers

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The Messenger

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A wounded war hero (Ben Foster) comes back from Iraq with 3 months left to serve and is assigned to join the team of soldiers who inform the next of kin when their loved ones have died in battle.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton, Jena Malone, Steve Buscemi, Jahmir Duran-Abreau, Yaya DaCosta, Eamonn Walker, Lisa Joyce

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! This film manages to gut-wrenchingly portray the atrocities of war, without ever showing a single frame of the atrocities of war.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: What is it about Woody Harrelson that makes his most disturbed characters come off so funny? I guess there's a fine line between hilarious and clinically insane.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you don't cry, you might just be hilarious (as defined above).

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Woody is up for Best Supporting actor at the Oscars, as are the screenwriters, Oren Moverman and Alessandro Camon. They're all also nominated for Spirit Awards, along with Samantha Morton. Meanwhile, Ben Foster comes off like one of the most overlooked performances of the Awards season. And I'll tell you why I think he was overlooked... Because (at least in this movie) he looks like Owen Wilson.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: All the actors have so much going on underneath the surface that you empathize with them, without ever imagining that you might be able to relate to the inner torture of what they're going through.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing is not particularly noticeable, except when the camera holds a little too long on several shots of Ben Foster staring off at someone he feels compassion for.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The dialogue is understated in exactly the right way. It doesn't give you everything, but it never leaves you hanging. At some point in the second half, the story meanders onto a different course than it originally set off on, and the movie starts to feel about 10 minutes too long, but in the end you forgive it, because it still feels important and new. How is it that this is the first time that anyone has ever thought to tell the sad story of the poor soldiers who are tasked with reporting the worst possible news to loving families, day in and day out?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-messenger/36286/trailers

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When in Rome

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A workaholic curator (Kristen Bell), who doesn't believe in love, picks 5 coins out of a fountain of love, in Rome, and is surprised to find the previous owners of those coins (Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Dax Shepard, Jon Heder, & Josh Duhamel) chasing her around New York, like crazy in love puppy dogs, who will do anything to impress her. Really? Not a single one of the coins that she picked was tossed in by a woman? I find that unlikely.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Anjelica Huston, Alexis Dziena, Kate Micucci, Peggy Lipton, Bobby Moynihan, Luca Calvani, Keir O'Donnell, Kristen Schaal, Lee Pace, Judith Malina

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! I might almost have given this a yellow light, only because I know there are people, like my friend Stacy, who have less discriminating taste, and don't mind when a movie has glaring flaws, so long as it's cute. Thankfully, Stacy was with me at this screening, and she hated it. If Stacy doesn't like it, nobody will.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly after you leave the theater, and you challenge yourself to think of a single thing about it that made any logical sense. Not only were the coin tossers all men, they were all American men, who happened to be in Italy that day, and in New York two days later, with a psychic knowledge of Bell's name and whereabouts at any given time.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you cry at cliches, this movie is one... only without the tear-jerking parts.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm going to go ahead and give it a Razzie for the hair department. I don't know if they give Razzies for hair, but someone on that set thought it was a good idea to put Kristen Bell's hair in a pony tail at a fancy Italian wedding. Yeah, the kind of pony tail you wear to go jogging, or to brush your teeth.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kristen Bell acted like a girl who would turn away Josh Duhamel, so that probably took some heavy sense memory work. And Josh Duhamel acted like a wuss, who would come back to a fairly average girl like Bell, no matter how many different ways she rejected him and walked out on him. Since I'm pretty sure he's never experienced anything like that in his real life, I imagine he had to dig pretty deep to figure out what that might feel like, too.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: You almost feel sorry for the director on a piece like this, because where the script is lacking, he has to make it up. Like, for example, when the writers forget to put in the romance, the director has to make up for it with that old standby: the slow motion stare... "Oh," you will think to yourself, "They must be in love at first sight now!"

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It really would've been nice if there were even one single moment based in some kind of reality. One believable thing sprinkled in... Or maybe at least a joke once in while. Is that too much to ask?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/when-in-rome/33121/trailers

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Saint John of Las Vegas

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A compulsive gambler (Steve Buscemi) leaves Las Vegas to get a day job, which then puts him on a case that leads him right back to Las Vegas.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Steve Buscemi, Romany Malco, Sarah Silverman, Peter Dinklage, Tim Blake Nelson, Emmanuelle Chriqui, John Cho, Aviva

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This effort at comedy tries really hard to be offbeat, but mostly, it's just off.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Almost. Like the promise of dream that gets whisked out from under you, just as you're about to sign on the dotted line.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Gambling addictions make me sad. I just don't relate to why these people continually throw away all their money, when all they want is to have money? I usually avoid movies about gamblers altogether, but this screening was free... Thank the Lord!... Still not worth it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Sure, I'll give it the Award for Least Annoying Sarah Silverman has ever been in a movie. Not only did I not mind her in this movie, I actually kinda liked her.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The thing that is most "off" in this comedy is the timing. The actors are of a much higher caliber than the script or the director, and it's the director's lack of editing skills that seems to do them in. Considering who the actors are, it's highly likely, they said their lines right on set, but then the director threw off the timing in post production, by adding long pauses between the jokes and the punchlines. This is especially disheartening when you find out that this director has an editing background.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing in this film could not have been worse. The look of the film is reminiscent of a home video-- but not the cool, clear ones your phone might take, I'm talking about 1980s VHS quality. But worse than that, there are actually shots in this movie that snapped me right out of the story so that I could think to myself, "What exactly is this director trying to get me to look at right here?" Who is Hue Rhodes? And how did he/she get $3.8million dollars and a cast like this to be in this sub par, nonsensical movie? If you have any insight, please let me know.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As I'm trying to rethink how exactly these fraud adjusters solved their crime, I'm realizing that I have no idea what the basic logic was behind their success... That is, if they were successful at all. Who knows what happened when all was said and done? I'd even go so far as to wonder if Hue knows.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: While you're answering some of my questions, would you also mind explaining to me why the title implies that there's anything "Saintly" about this guy? I can't even think of any ironic references to him being a Saint. Please explain. Thank you.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/saint%20john/trailers

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Creation

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Charles Darwin (Paul Bettany) struggles with his religious views as well as those of his wife (Jennifer Connelly) as he writes, "On the Origin of Species."

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Paul Bettany, Jennifer Connelly, Jeremy Northam, Martha West, Toby Jones, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jim Carter

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! It sounds interesting enough, but really the movie is about what a hard time Darwin had overcoming his eldest daughter's untimely death, which ultimately he pins on the fact that he married his first cousin. There are no interesting discourses in favor of either the theory of Creation or the theory of Evolution. And you feel as if you should have taken a few hours away from the movie to read his book cover to cover, if you are to understand the logic behind his wife's final conclusion.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Exactly one time... if you're not sleeping during that part.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It might bore you to tears.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most lost opportunity to do something interesting and controversial.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I thought the ape was amazing!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The pace is slow, the story jumps around in time, in what seems to be an effort to befuddle the viewers, and the score is a blatant rip off of Swan Lake.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: When you have the opportunity to really dig into the best arguments for Evolution and pin them up against the best arguments for Creation; the opportunity to really make your audience think-- possibly even swaying their preconceived notions, one way or another, and causing them to question their predispositions; why on Earth would you give us a boring story we've seen a million times about the loss of a child?! Yes, losing a child is probably the most devastating thing anyone ever has to go through, but that's not what we want when we go see a movie about Charles Darwin!!!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Riddle me this: Why is it that when real life couples work together on screen, the movie is never good?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/creation/1425333/trailers

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Tooth Fairy

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A failed hockey player they call "The Tooth Fairy" (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), who no longer believes that dreams can come true, gets sentenced to spend time as the real Tooth Fairy. That'll teach him to dream small!

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Ashley Judd, Stephen Merchant, Julie Andrews, Billy Crystal, Ryan Sheckler, Chase Ellison, Destiny Grace Whitlock, Seth MacFarlane, Brandon T. Jackson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The Rock makes another perfectly sweet, perfectly enjoyable, perfectly innocuous movie for kids.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you don't associate the name Stephen Merchant with funny, then you probably don't realize that he's Ricky Gervais' side-kick/writing partner/producer, and therefore hilarious... and that's without even getting to the fact that he's almost as tall as a doorway.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you've ever had a dream, and someone told you that you couldn't have that dream, this movie might-- you know, maybe they just said that because they had failed at their own dream, or maybe they said it because you really suck at the thing you dream of being great at... but nonetheless, your dream was crushed, by someone, for some reason and-- still no, this movie still won't make you cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Dressed on the Red Carpet! And I'm of course talking about Rock in a pink tutu... Who are we kidding, with his giant pecks hanging out all over the place, it's actually deeply disturbing. I'd rather see Bjork in a swan dress.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm so glad to see Stephen Merchant doing his own thing, and Julie Andrews doing anything, and I'd really rather see Ashley Judd doing nothing-- but that's just me. She's a fine actress, in that perfectly innocuous way that works so well for a movie starring The Rock.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I really enjoyed the colorful special effects and the dreamlike fantasy look of Fairyland... Which reminds me of one of my favorite things a friend of mine ever posted on Facebook.

If you've ever been to Stockton, California, you know exactly how true this is.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Ah, the script... Well it has 5 writers and a separate "story by" credit, so probably it was one of those scripts where they liked the concept, then they got The Rock attached, then they realized he only had the month of March available to shoot anything for the next 3 years, so they quickly hired some people who are known for getting the story beats as simple as can be, then they hired some more people to rewrite those people on the outside chance of adding a teeny-tiny bit of complexity, and then, at the last minute, right before they lost their window with The Rock and the whole deal fell apart, they hired Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel to throw in some jokes and some people falling down on their faces. And that, Junior, is how scripts are born.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It has nothing to do with this movie, but it has finally happened! This blog has finally won an award. So I'd like to thank Reel Whore for nominating me for The Kreativ Blogger Award!

I don't normally participate in this kind of thing, but since I truly appreciate Reel Whole for gracing me with this honor, I'm gonna go ahead and do all the things I'm supposed to do-- which are:


1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

The 7 Blogs I would like to nominate are:
Razzball-- for getting me into this blogging racket, and being the only person I know in real life who gets about 10,000 hits a week on his site- even in the off season.
Film-Book dot Com-- for being my best blogger friend. (Film-Book is probably thinking that's very sad for me, since we hardly ever-- almost never-- talk... on any of the social networks we're "friends" on... And obviously we've never met.)
Nikki Finke's Deadeline Hollywood-- I admire her partly for her ability to scoop everyone, partly for her consistently intelligent insight into the business side of Hollywood, but mostly for her ability to openly be honest in a town most famous for lying. Her boldness scares me a little bit.
Heat Vision & the live feed-- I like that when the staff at Hollywood Reporter gets lazy, they just link all their headlines to these two blogs and let Borys Kit (movies) and James Hibberd (TV) do all the work for them. I should really be giving this award to the THR Editor for finding such a brilliant management idea as handing off the work of most and putting it on the backs of two-- Whoo-hoo! more vacation days for everybody else!
The Business of Show Institute-- Marvin Acuna has literally the best advice I have ever seen given to aspiring screenwriters trying to break into the business. He regularly comes up with outside the box gems that you may not have thought of yourself, no matter how long you've been in the business. And he gathers other experts (from fields covering internet opportunities to legal advice) to contribute to his incredibly informative weekly newsletter, which he'll send to you, just for signing up.
Notes from a School Psychologist-- This is for actually doing something for the betterment of society. Becki Branstetter's blog is both funny and informative for anyone who wants their kids to make it in the American school system, is in the American school system, or wants to help improve the American school system... in other words, it's for everyone.

And finally, the 7 things about me you might not know. (I'm hoping you've stopped reading by now.)
1. Though I'm not a very private person, I am a very private blogger.
2. I am probably the least technically competent person on the internet to have a blog. (This explains why I'm still on a blogspot platform, rather than a fancier version of a website.)
3. While I am snarky and complain a lot on my blog, in my real life I am one of the happiest most fulfilled people I know... But I'm still pretty snarky. It's fun. You should try it.
4. I am learning about the power of healing myself with my mind because I have lost faith in my ability to receive reliable healthcare service through the traditional means. I know, that's not funny, it's just sad.
5. I love my family more than the amount of hours I spend with them. And you can quote me on that.
6. I have been full grown for a while now, and I have still not decided if I believe in marriage or children. I'm starting to think my biological clock may be broken, cuz it probably should've started ticking some time ago.
7. I am highly superstitious about seeing the clock at 11:11, and I feel deeply disappointed when I just miss it. 11:12 is a very difficult time for me.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Yes, we're back to talking about Tooth Fairy now. http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-tooth-fairy/34807/video/tooth-fairy-trailer-no-1/44593788001

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