Amazon Holiday

Showing posts with label desert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label desert. Show all posts

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Adventures of Tintin

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  Based on a combination of stories from the Belgian comic books, a young journalist named Tintin buys a model ship from a flea market, and suddenly people are trying to kill him and steal the ship, which leads him on a journalistic adventure to find out what is so special about this little ship.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Toby Jones, Cary Elwes, Daniel Mays, Mackenzie Crook, Gad Elmaleh, Tony Curran, Kim Stengal, Enn Reitel, Joe Starr

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  PhotobucketProceed with Caution. I spent most of the movie wondering who the target audience was supposed to be.  If it's supposed to be for grown-ups, then making it live-action would've made the action-adventure parts more exciting.  And if it's supposed to be for little boys, then why is one of the main characters a drunk?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  For once I can say, I preferred the book.  I remember reading these as a kid, and I remember them being funny-- especially those twin cops Thomson and Thompson. Even with one of my favorite comedy teams (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) in the roles, this is not.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  I felt like crying for poor little Tintin because the way they animated it, he looks about 14, so when he gets lost at sea and then lands in a foreign country without his mommy and daddy, I worry.  Turns out-- and I had to have this explained to me-- that he's in his low twenties.  I'm not a fan of the look they chose for him.  He doesn't look old enough to be a journalist, and more importantly, he doesn't look like Tintin.  It's animated!  You could've made him look exactly like he does in the books.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  The Award for 2011 goes to Belgium!  Between this and The Smurfs, Belgium is really positioning itself this year to look like more than just the European Canada.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Once again, my favorite actor is the dog.  But in comparison to the live-action dog in The Artist, who I've heard has people campaigning for his eligibility in the Best Supporting Actor category, this dog is nothing more than a drawing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The choice to do this animated originally made sense to me, because the comic book lends itself to animation.  But the choice to do the animation using motion capture, so that the characters end up looking  semi-human, without  looking anything like their drawn counter-parts mind-boggles me.  Now that I've seen it, I think they should've gone with live-action  -- which was Spielberg's first instinct, once again proving the point that you should always listen to your gut.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  Tintin is such a goody-two-shoes, that his character is boring, and never gives you any sense that he might mess up, or not figure something out.  In other words, there's no suspense. 

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A:  Spielberg isn't the only master of his craft to deliver less than stellar results here, composer John Williams also creates a score that is beneath him.  The music itself is fun and light, and would probably make good listening if you were sitting around in your library smoking your pipe, but put up against this movie, it just feels wrong.  In the opening credits for example, twice as much action is in the music than in the images on the screen.  And in the rest, it would've served the movie to have music creating a greater sense of suspense in the parts when the story did not.  It's cheating, but it's exactly what makes renowned composers like John Williams so great at their jobs.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Adventures of Tintin Trailer

Back To TopAddThis Social Bookmark Button

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sex and the City 2


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Samantha (Kim Cattrall) gets invited to Abu Dhabi and invites Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), on an all-expenses paid vacation where they can get away from their marital problems only to be reminded of them, while Samantha struggles with the de-sexualization of women in this part of the world.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Chris Noth, John Corbett, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Willie Garson, Mario Cantone, Jason Lewis, Alice Eve, Max Ryan, Alexandra Fong, Parker Fong, Raza Jaffrey, Walton Nunes, with Liza Minnelli, Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Aside from the anticipation, the most exciting part of seeing this movie is watching all the packs of pre-arousal women entering the theater dressed up like they are characters from the film (myself included). It reminds me of another campy and oftentimes boring movie that has made an event out of audience participation. So watch out Rocky Horror Picture Show! You're getting old, and you may soon be replaced by a younger batch of overly sexed, pre-menopausal ladies, who look like they're in drag most of the time.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Some. But a lot of the jokes try too hard to be witty, young, and hip, and in so doing end up looking like old people dressing too young for their age. If you want to make up cute little terms like "friendtervention," save it for when you get hired to write Bring It On 7.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I cried when I realized how blatantly the character and dialogue wreaked of having been written by a gay man. Gay men and straight women do not think or act the same way as each other, because gay men are still men. Sex and the City came to prominence because women were starved for stories that dealt with their issues and dilemmas in a real way. So if you're gonna have a gay man writing and directing, at least get a woman consultant on board and listen to what she has to say... And this in a film that talks about women not having a voice.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The MacGruber Award. For a scene so ridiculous, it would only be appropriate if it had been in MacGruber. Did you know that according to this movie, the women in Abu Dhabi wear big furry Versace outfits underneath their burkas? Yeah, they do that because it's not hot enough being in 109 degree weather covered from head to face to toe in a black sheet. You know what, while we're here, lets just give all the fashion in this movie the MacGruber Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The girls do a good job of bringing back their characters like not a day has gone by. Separately, at the ripe age of 43, I think British actor, Max Ryan, may have finally gotten his breakout role. Move over George Clooney, there's a new silver fox in town!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Considering some of the themes that are broached in this movie, it could have been great if only Michael Patrick King had cut about 45 minutes out of it, so he could have actually delved into the broached themes. Here are some of the obvious cut suggestions: 1) the gay wedding-- which doesn't advance the story in any way whatsoever, 2) the karaoke scene--which advances nothing, 3) the scene where they ride camels in the desert-- which seems to only be set there so that Samantha can say "Lawrence of my labia," 4) the tour of their hotel room-- which is only fun for the first 15 seconds of the 3 minute long sequence, 5) the 4 Maybachs-- if I went on vacation with my friends, I would want to sit in the car with them, and it's clear that the only reason they each get their own is so the director can shoot endless montages, that look like car commercials, of them driving together and pulling up together, 6) the extraneous costume changes-- yes we know the movie is about fashion, but we don't need to have scenes about changing into another outfit at the airport and in the desert. Nobody does that. Not even them. They know where they're going, they dress for it, and when they get back to the hotel, they change into new clothes for the next event. That also avoids clunky dialogue like, "Oh, but I can't ride a camel in this!" As well as voice overs like, "12 hours and one outfit change later, we were in Abu Dhabi."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Sure there are a couple of classic S&TC scenes, like when Charlotte and Miranda discuss the difficulties of motherhood, and when Carrie and Aidan go on a date, but most of the drama is so light and surface-scratching that I actually thought I was watching an episode of The Hills at times. The Really Old Hills. If Michael Patrick King had cut some of the above mentioned scenes, he would've had time to get into the women's dramatic struggles in ways that had, well, drama. And I'm not into spoilers, so don't get me started on Carrie's plot's resolution!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: What is the appeal of Mr. Big? He has no personality, and never has. He just looks like a giant-sized wallet to me, and that makes Carrie look like your run of the mill gold-digger. She has always had way more chemistry with Aidan.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/sex-and-the-city-2/35814/trailers

Back To Top
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An orphan gets plucked from the streets and made a prince in the Persian Empire. But when he grows up, he gets framed as a traitor by someone trying to steal a magical dagger, in order to gain power in the kingdom.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Richard Coyle, Toby Kebbell, Gisli Orn Garoarsson, Steve Toussaint, Reece Ritchie

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. There is something very strange about trying to figure out what this movie wants to be. It requires too much suspension of disbelief for adults, but is possibly too mature and convoluted for kids. The special effects and warfare style are jarringly modern, despite the fact that the story and weapons are from the 500s B.C.... But I'm pretty sure that's the kind of confused mess you're gonna get when you try to make a movie about the Ancient Persian Empire that's based on a video game.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The special effect that shows the time shifting might. Especially when you consider that a committee of people sat around for days-- possibly months-- planning what it was going to look like. Ha! Losers.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Brotherhood is a beautiful thing. And the more refined version of this movie might have got ya', but by the time this version gets around to that stuff, you're not taking it seriously enough to let it touch you. It's a lot like some dates I've been on.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Cleanest Shower-less Sand-Dwellers Ever! Even the dirty people look like they've recently encountered soap and water. And if you're royalty, forget it, even blood can't stick to you!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: There's something about Jake Gyllenhaal, where even when his muscles are bulging and covered in dust, he still looks like he was plucked right out of modern times. I think it's his snarky know-it-all smile. Diametrically opposed to that, I am always amazed at how Alfred Molina manages to slip into any role, in any place, and any time period, in such a way that most people still have no idea who he is, despite the fact that he's in nearly 50% of all Oscar nominated movies, and 70% of all blockbusters.*

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The special effects are distracting and confusing, both in their workmanship and in the choice to use them so obviously for acrobatics that should've been made to look like they had actually been accomplished.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story has some good twists, which might seem vaguely clever if the dialogue didn't spell it all out for you in excruciatingly on the nose exposition. But you know where I could have used a little on the nose exposition? In the explanation of why this character can survive deadly jumps and scale walls and single-handedly defeat whole armies. Does he have superpowers? Or is he a regular man, as the narration tries to imply? What's his deal and how did he get that way?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: *The percentages in the Acting section are completely made-up by me, and only based on my own personal observation of how brilliant Molina is at both acting and picking parts in commercial movies as well as indies that cause him to blow your mind without ever noticing that the dad in An Education is the same guy who played Doc Ock in Spiderman 2.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/prince-of-persia-the-sands-of-time/30387/trailers

Back To Top
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Book of Eli


(Guest Review by Tempany)

Q: What’s the movie about?


A: Eli (Denzel Washington) fights his way across a post apocalyptic world to safely deliver the supposed last St James Bible into safe hands.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Denzel Washington, Mila Kunis, Gary Oldman, Tom Waits, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon, Malcom McDowell

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! Do not let ANYONE trick you into paying for this movie. They should be paying you. Not only is it a poor man’s version of The Road, the entire plot is implausible, weak, ridiculous and riddled with holes. It will only leave you frustrated, angry and confused as to how it ever got released.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Several of the hair and wardrobe choices will give you a giggle. Particularly Malcolm McDowell’s hair and Denzel’s Zen outfit in the final scenes. Not to mention Mila Kunis’s high fashion hipster outfit that looks brand new even though the world has been in disarray for thirty years….grrrr. Oh, and did I mention that everyone has shiny designer sunglasses? It’s hard to get water and food in a post apocalyptic world but Sunglass Hut has never been busier.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you paid for it and then you will be a bit weepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Razzies for everything. Although the fight scenes were pretty good… MTV’s best kung-fu kick award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mila Kunis sure is cute and made a nice transition from TV to the big screen with Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But in The Book of Eli she is way out of her league - some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. Tom Waits has a nice little cameo and Denzel is solid. Gary Oldman does his evil guy schtick, but what the movie really needed was the complexity of Ian McShane’s ‘Al Swearingen’ from Deadwood.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: They just got the whole thing wrong. Even though it’s set in the future, the Hughes brothers obviously need to stay in the world of sci-fi future and not gritty realism future. There are so many bad choices that this film never had a chance in hell of being good.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure it out – and not because it was clever and tricky. If there was supposed to be a religious message, I never grasped it because I was so distracted by how nothing made sense.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Fighting from the Matrix, warrior girl shots of Mila Kunis channeling Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft, Malcom McDowell stealing wig ideas from Christopher Lloyd, and almost identical cannibal warriors from The Road, makes The Book of Eli a million movies mashed into one very bad one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-book-of-eli/30184/trailers

Back To TopAddThis Social Bookmark Button

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After getting dumped by his wife, a journalist (Ewan McGregor) goes to Iraq to write a story that will win her back, and ends up getting the adventure of his life when he meets an eccentric military man from the psychic superpower division (George Clooney). It's somewhat based on a true story.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Stephen Lang, Robert Patrick, Waleed Zuaiter, Stephen Root, Glenn Morshower

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The premise shows more promise than the execution, which has a perfect wacky tone, but leaves you wondering what it was all supposed to be about.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It is highly reminiscent of a Coen Brothers comedy, only the jokes are a little more laugh out loud. And there are some inside jokes for people who have seen Star Wars... which I guess includes just about everyone.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Really not at all. Although when you see how they torture the prisoners, you may feel terrible for those poor little terrorists.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Jeff Bridges could finally get that nomination he was passed over for when he played The Dude in The Big Lebowski. This character is pretty much the same, except he doesn't bowl, and he's a Colonel in the military.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Aside from Ewan McGregor sometimes slipping into his Scottish accent, the performances showcase four great actors, each playing the role they do best.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Grant Heslov has clearly been paying attention on set. He doesn't quite have that Coen Brothers' flare, but you can still tell he studied at their school.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The structure jumps around in both time and place, but is nonetheless easy to follow, thanks to a running voice over by McGregor's character. Unfortunately, while the jokes are good and the characters are special, the story never really draws you in.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-men-who-stare-at-goats/38908/trailers

Back To Top
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Hurt Locker

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An elite Army bomb squad is in constant peril, as they go around Iraq’s war zone finding and disassembling camouflaged, hand made bombs.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: : Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christan Camargo, Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, Evangeline Lilly, David Morse, Suhail Aldabbach

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! Plot-wise, this movie would’ve worked better as a video game. Mainly because it’s the same scene over and over: We find a bomb, we disarm it. We find a bomb, we disarm it. We find a bomb, we disarm it. At least if it were a game, we’d get to participate at levels of ever-increasing difficulty.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Why anybody would want to see a movie that tries to make you feel like you’re in the middle of the Iraq War, at this particular juncture in our history is beyond me, so if you’re going to this, I probably can’t relate to you enough to tell you if it will make you laugh…

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: …or cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won several awards at the Venice Film Festival (none of which I’ve ever heard of), and it was up for 2 Spirit Awards for acting. But before you question my harsh judgment of this film, may I remind you that I’ve watched it, you haven’t.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jeremy Renner is the most under-rated actor in Hollywood, and has been for years. Maybe because he tends to pick dark, interesting roles in dark, uninteresting movies.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: As proven by her body of work, Kathryn Bigelow is a director who feels more confident about shooting action scenes than telling a story. This frantically shot film, with only a semblance of a story, continues in the tradition.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Some of the characters are interesting, but you won’t gain much insight beyond the fact that war is Hell… And we already knew that.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If you still want to see an Iraq war movie after reading this review, rent Traitor. Here’s a link to my review of Traitor: http://moviereviewfaqs.blogspot.com/2008/08/traitor.html

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/the%20hurt%20locker/trailers

Back To Top
AddThis Social Bookmark Button