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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Little Fockers


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Part 3 of the Meet the Parents franchise introduces the idea of passing the head-of-family baton, as Jack Byrnes' (Robert De Niro) health is threatened, and he takes it upon himself to figure out if Greg/Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller) has what it takes to be the new GodFocker.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson, Teri Polo, Jessica Alba, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbara Streisand, Daisy Tahan, Colin Baiocchi, Laura Dern, Kevin Hart, Tom McCarthy, Harvey Keitel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The best thing I can say about this movie is that it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. So, if you're into this series, definitely give it a whirl.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you'll laugh at just about anything.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you're looking for an easy laugh because your real life is making you cry just about as much as you can handle.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Ensemble cast most likely to get my mother to see a movie that she would never have any interest in seeing. Award goes to De Niro, Hoffman, and Streisand, for making up a cast list that might fool the undiscerning eye into thinking this will be a serious movie for grown ups.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The only thing Ben Stiller's character has in common with the guy he played in the first Meet the Parents is his face. The character, who used to be insecure and concerned about pleasing, is suddenly confident and in control. But I'm not sure you're allowed to change your characters in ways that real humans are incapable of changing, just because 10 years have gone by since the first movie. Do the filmmakers think we've forgotten what he's supposed to be like? If anything, it's they who have forgotten-- about the advent of DVD, and repeats of old movies on TV, which make it possible for us to have seen the original as recently as this morning. Owen Wilson's character, has also gone through a complete metamorphosis since the first movie. Which is mostly surprising because Owen Wilson really only has one character in his toolbox.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Considering Paul Weitz's amazing track record casting unknown, young actors in such movies as American Pie and About a Boy, I would've expected him to find more interesting kids to play the little Fockers.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The premise is thin, forced and played out, but within that, the writers manage keep it moving and even insert a few laughable jokes here and there... The funniest of which is the complete character shifts for Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. Well, at least Robert De Niro is still the same one note guy!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Little Fockers Trailer

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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Somewhere


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A movie star (Stephen Dorff) is forced to spend an extended period of time with his 11-year-old daughter (Elle Fanning), and in the process comes face to face with the emptiness of his rich and famous life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning, Chris Pontius, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, Lala Sloatman, Laura Chiatti, Nunzio Alfredo 'Pupi' D'Angieri, Michelle Monaghan, Giorgia Surina, Randa Walker

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! Intellectual people will love this film for saying so much without saying anything at all. And all the rest of you should see it anyway, because it honestly depicts the loneliness of celebrity, in a real way that will help you run screaming away from your dreams of fame and fortune, while thanking your lucky stars for your anonymity, your closeness to your family, and the joys that come with having to work to get laid.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Did you find Lost in Translation funny? Because this is the same story, different hotel... It makes you wonder if Francis Ford Coppola's daughter has any gripes about her childhood that she's trying to get off her chest. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think she doesn't like staying in hotels very much.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not out loud, unless you're a rich, famous, guy who has to drug himself with prescriptions and alcohol, because he's so bored about being able to afford anything he wants at any moment, and get laid by anyone he wants at any moment, regardless of whether or not he's taken a shower anytime within the last calendar year.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's won a couple of gimme awards, that seem to only exist for the purpose of giving someone an award because you feel like it, even though you can't think of anything to award that person for... The funny thing is, if it had been nominated for directing or cinematography in the Independent Spirit Awards, this year, I might just have voted for it. For reals.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Elle Fanning is getting to that age where she's going to start being compared to her uber-talented sister, Dakota, so let me be the first to annoy them by doing so. And the verdict is.... it's a toss up. They're like comparing apples to apples, where one of the apples is a few years older than the other apple, but aside from that, the apples are completely indistinguishable. Stephen Dorff also does a great job of playing what I imagine is a richer and more famous version of himself.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I have seen all of Sofia Coppola's movies, and generally find them to fall somewhere between middling and downright awful. But with this one, for the first time, she managed to suck me in, hold my attention, and build my ability to patiently wait out the silent meaning of each slow, stagnant shot. Weird. She must've done something right.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are probably about 11 lines of dialogue in the whole thing, and frankly, that may be this film's genius. I imagine the script was about 20 pages long, since almost nothing describable happens in it either. Yet somehow the quiet alienation of this glamor lifestyle is deeply compelling. My only complaint is the open-ended ending, which makes you want to like this movie less than you actually did.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I once spent a weekend living at the Chateau Marmont. And despite my excitement about the glamorous premiere I was attending, where I would-- and did-- hob-nob with celebrities, the Chateau is the kind of place that makes you want to take drugs to the point of overdose. It's cold, the furniture is stiff and uncomfortable, and there are rumors of ghosts living there, including that of John Belushi, who actually did overdose to the point of death, in that hotel. While, in my opinion, ghosts are the only suitable inhabitants for the place, it should come as no surprise that Tim Burton has also spent many years of his life renting out the penthouse. See any one of Burton's movies if you want to better understand the state of mind that the energy in this haunted castle will drive you to.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Somewhere Trailer

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

TRON: Legacy 3D


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fearless rebel (Garrett Hedlund) enters a dangerous video game to try to find his father (Jeff Bridges), who disappeared when he was a boy.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, Michael Sheen, James Frain, Beau Garrett, Cillian Murphy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. From the Benjamin Buttons effect to the live action video game play, the special effects are impressive. Everything else about the movie is painful.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: You know, making even a single attempt at humor might've been a good idea. You don't get to make a silly movie about being a live player running around a video game AND take yourself seriously.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's a sad story about childhood abandonment by a father trapped in a gilded cage, but I didn't cry. Maybe because I was so busy wondering what I was doing at a movie that could only appeal to 10-year-old boys. No, that's not it. It's because the writing sucked.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hope the visual effects get a nomination, because otherwise, this the biggest waste of $300 million I've ever seen.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Garrett Hedlund had me thinking, "Why this guy?" I have to imagine they picked him because he was cheap, and they needed a nobody to counteract the high cost of special effects. But still, there are so many nobodies running around L.A. looking for a job like this one, so, "Why this guy?" Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, had me thinking, "I know why this guy!" He plays two versions of himself, and so convincingly that you sometimes forget he's talking to himself. Separately, I should mention that it's great to see Michael Sheen playing a character that's not Tony Blair.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Okay, so the guy can do special effects. But truth be told, as they were playing their death-games with their little disks, I rarely had any idea who was winning, how they were winning, what the rules were, why somebody died or disintegrated while somebody else didn't, or even who was playing to begin with. And my inability to follow the action is directly related to how the action is directed.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Father and son stories easily lend themselves to heartfelt, universal emotions, but when you bring dialogue like "The Creator" and "His Son" into it, you patronize the Christian audience you're trying to pretend this was made for, and you alienate everybody else. Not to mention that the sci-tech talk is incomprehensible, and the emotional talk is trite. But, yeah, go see it for the special effects, everybody! I know how important those are to you.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Daft Punk is getting a lot of notoriety for doing the techno-score, but musically, the thing that impressed me the most was the use of Journey to harken the 1980s, when Tron was born... Although I beg you not to do the math on that, because if Sam's dad disappeared when old- fashioned video games and arcades were still hot, Sam should be a lot closer to 37 than 27-- which is the age that he says he is... Then again, based on the city they live in and the technological advances, the movie takes place some time in the future, so realistically, he's probably closer to 127.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: TRON: Legacy Trailer
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Monday, December 20, 2010

Rabbit Hole


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A couple (Nicole Kidman & Aaron Eckhart) grieves the loss of their 4-year-old son.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest, Miles Teller, Tammy Blanchard, Sandra Oh, Giancarlo Esposito, Jon Tenney

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! It will put you in their place, and fill you with compassion. It's like my mother always says, "There's nothing worse than the loss of a child." I know, that's not the kind of thing most mothers always say, but that was just her way of trying to convince me not to take drugs.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you read the movie's description and thought to yourself, "That sounds like a film I'd like to see to get a good laugh," then-- it might just take all of my inner strength not to insult your sanity.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: For me the tears weren't inspired by the main characters so much as the people around them. There are so many more parts to this problem than I would have imagined.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Nicole Kidman: believe the hype.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: In other Nicole Kidman news, she has finally got her forehead moving again, so that's a relief. Unfortunately, she's now shooting her lips up with so much collagen, that in some scenes, she almost sounds like she has a speech impediment. This has everything to do with the acting because it took me about half the movie to stop staring at her strange pout, before I was finally able to lose myself in the extraordinary performance she'd been giving all along. I really hate collagen lips. And hers are even making me start to miss the Botox a little bit.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: John Cameron Mitchell has made three films, and I have loved them all. The other two are filled with titillatingly disturbing sex scenes, while this one doesn't include so much as a kiss. It seems like a departure for him, but in fact, it's just more proof that he can tackle any difficult subject matter in a way that makes you want to accept and understand it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Despite the fact that it's based on a play, and despite the fact that its locations and characters are extremely contained, as a play would be, it somehow doesn't feel like it's just a play on film.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Rabbit Hole Trailer

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

How Do You Know


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After a woman (Reese Witherspoon) gets cut from her professional softball team, two very different men (Owen Wilson & Paul Rudd) become smitten with her... In part because she's so cut off from her emotions, that it allows them to get in touch with theirs.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson, Jack Nicholson, Kathryn Hahn, Mark Linn-Baker, Shelley Conn, Lenny Venito, Molly Price, John Tormey, Teyonah Parris, Tony Shalhoub, Dean Norris

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! Despite a few slow spots and a few passing moments that are only 90% realistic, this romantic comedy finds success by relying on dialogue that is thoughtful and intelligent without being pretentious.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The laughs tend to come from organic dialogue, rather than pie-in-the-face/fall-on-your-face set-comedy pieces that do nothing to advance the story of the characters' arcs. So you won't laugh as hard or as often as you've become accustomed to in these types of movies, but you will laugh more genuinely, and kind of feel grateful that you didn't find yourself accidentally laughing at forced stupidity.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Possibly. And this time, surprisingly, at romance.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It has come out just a few days too late to qualify, but Reese Witherspoon deserves the Golden Globe nomination for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical way more than Angelina Jolie does for starring in the thriller, The Tourist.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Reese Witherspoon transforms herself yet again. She subtly embodies the physicality of a female jock, from her stance to her voice, without ever losing her femininity or seeming like a lesbian. It sounds like I'm saying that jocks and lesbians aren't feminine, and maybe I am, but you have to see her performance to truly grasp just how impressive her accomplishment is.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: When James L. Brooks directs a comedy, he goes for an "instant classic" style, rather than a "currently classic, but it won't seem funny in 10 years" style. His films consistently cross gender lines and genre lines, often getting dubbed as dramedies-- which somehow makes them feel more sophisticated. And when compared to all the pie-in-the-face/fall-on-your-face set-comedy piece directors, his style almost seems old fashioned. But in this case, old fashioned is a compliment, so why don't we just go ahead and call it "antique."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: James L. Brooks is the master of romantic comedies. He writes the scripts that the rest of us wish we could... And by wish we could, I mean, "wish were allowed to"-- after all, no one is gonna tell James L. Brooks to add in a few pie-in-the-face/fall-on-your-face set-comedy pieces that do nothing to advance the story of the characters' arcs. It's for the trailer.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: There are so many interesting ideologies introduced about how to find happiness, get over painful moments, and understand your life, that you may even need to see it twice to remember any of them.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: How Do You Know Trailer

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Black Swan


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A ballerina (Natalie Portman) gets cast as the lead in Swan Lake and struggles with her inner demons, as her stardom alienates her, makes her paranoid, and generally drives her insane.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder, Benjamin Millepied, Ksenia Solo, Kristina Anapau, Janet Montgomery, Sebastian Stan, Toby Hemingway

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. As you can tell from my late review, I didn't really want to see this film because it looked creepy. And it is. The members of my audience couldn't wait to get the hell out of the theater when the movie ended. But there's no denying that the filmmaking is at expert level.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Darren Aronofsky lives in a world of depressing self-importance. If there was ever any humor in this script, I'm sure he did away with it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's not necessary. Just-- if you're considering becoming a ballerina, don't.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: According to all sources, Natalie Portman is going to win an Academy Award this year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Believe the hype.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: While I'm rarely interested in any of the stories or subject matters that Darren Aronofsky is compelled to put to celluloid, visually, he is one of my absolute favorite directors working today.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: In the vein of Fight Club, the story deliberately confuses reality with the inner workings of a nutsoid person's mind. It is interpretable, though, and while I don't enjoy guessing what the storytellers want me to believe, I did enjoy the way the story of the film perfectly parallels the story of the ballet. Which brings me to my next question: why do the dudes who wrote and directed this know or care so much about this ballet?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Black Swan Trailer

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Blue Valentine


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The two halves of a married couple (Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams) reminisce about how great their relationship used to be, as it quietly falls apart.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, Mike Vogel, John Doman, Ben Shenkman, Faith Wladyka, Jen Jones

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. If you've ever been in a marriage, you probably already know how this one goes. And if you haven't ever been in a marriage, it's probably because you think this is how it will go.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: They go to a motel for a sexy weekend and book the "Future Room," which is about the most depressingly funny place to try to make romance that I've ever seen.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The great thing about not being in a marriage is that you don't have to cry about how lonely it's making you feel. Hey, I'm not the one writing these movies. I'm just picking up what they're dishing out!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Michelle Williams is up for an Independent Spirit Awards, but Ryan Gosling is the one who would've had a chance of winning.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The performances are the main reason to see this film. Both Gosling and Williams show complexity and depth as they display their youthful joie-de-vivre in the scenes when they first meet and fall in love, and contrast that with their tired, worn-down married sides, in all the rest.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It almost looks like they shot on film and then tried to make it look like poor quality video. That seems a little moronic to me, but the only other possibility is that they shot on video and then used special effects to make the "print" look scratched. Which, I'm sorry, is equally moronic.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story somehow manages to hold your attention despite the nagging feeling that it won't ever amount to anything more than one random couple's rise and fall from love. Which it doesn't.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

Blue Valentine Trailer

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Casino Jack


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The true story of what happened behind the scenes in the Jack Abramoff scandal, as well as an examination of what it was about his psyche that continually allowed him to think he was doing the right thing, while screwing people over and making himself rich.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kevin Spacey, Barry Pepper, Kelly Preston, Rachel Lefevre, Jon Lovitz, Yannick Bisson, Eric Schweig, Christian Campbell, Spencer Garrett, Maury Chaykin, Ruth Marshall, Jeffrey R. Smith, Graham Greene, Jeff Pustil, Damir Andrei, John David Whelan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! It’s totally hateable. But maybe this one will help you understand exactly how corrupt and wrong-minded American Democracy (i.e. capital imperialism) has become. I hope you get mad!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Did you know that Kevin Spacey does impersonations? They’re surprisingly good. Unfortunately, that doesn’t prevent them from being totally annoying—and I’m not trying to single him out, I’m talking to all of you fools who think movie impersonations are cute. Maybe it’s just me.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Yes!!! But not in your eyes, in your heart.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Biggest wattle ever to be shown in a movie. Thank you Maury Chaykin! I will never be able to look at spaghetti the same.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kevin Spacey is God. Barry Pepper is just the right kind of smarmy. And Jon Lovitz surprised me, in a role that shows that despite the fact that he has no range, there is a range that his one character can play.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I saw this movie a few months ago, and wrote down some snide remarks about some of George Hickenlooper's shot choices. Since then, George Hickenlooper has died, so I no longer see the point in trying to help him improve his craft. It's a great movie, let's leave it at that.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: If you don’t know or remember much about the Jack Abramoff scandal (trust me, we’ve all tried to put the Bush years out of our minds), the beginning may be a little much to take in, and it may even make you feel stupid. But be patient, before long you will be able to follow the convoluted logic of these trickster super-lobbyists’ thinking and justifications.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: When we do finally decide to rework our democracy, a good place to start might be getting rid of the laws that allow lobbyists to bribe and manipulate every politician we elect. Maybe then politicians will be forced, once again, to look into their hearts and decide what’s right for the people before making a decision that affects all of us.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Casino Jack Trailer

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Monday, December 6, 2010

Barney's Version


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a book by Mordecai Richler, Barney's Version is the story of some guy named Barney (Paul Giamatti), as he partakes in life, loves, and possibly the murder of his best friend. It's a character piece.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Paul Giamatti, Rosamund Pike, Dustin Hoffman, Scott Speedman, Minnie Driver, Bruce Greenwood, Rachelle Lefevre, Saul Rubinek, Mark Addy, Jake Hoffman, Anna Hopkins, Macha Grenon

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The first two hours are very compelling, even though the final extraneous 20 minutes, meanders around until it became clear that the rest of the movie isn't really about anything either.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Paul Giamatti plays his usual slightly lovable curmudgeon, so there are a fair number of laughs from that, but my favorite humor comes simply from the names of the places. You see, he works at Totally Unnecessary Productions, and drinks at Grumpy's bar. And you even believe these locations are real, because the movie takes place in Canada... Oh, those silly Canadians!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The extraneous 20 minutes at the end are pretty sad, but I would've rather just cut that part altogether. Why? Because it's extraneous.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's currently in a one week Oscar qualifying release in Los Angeles, so that it can be considered for Academy Awards even though it's really coming out in a month, after it's too late to be considered for 2010. So obviously they think they have something.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Dustin Hoffman is fantabulous. His son, Jake, while much better looking than his father, seems poised to follow in the footsteps of John Ritter's and Tom Hanks' sons, by not even deserving to carry the same last name as a man whose shoes he will never come close to filling. Minnie Driver plays the most annoying character in the world, and yet, this may be the most attractive she's ever looked on screen. (Kristen Bell may want to take some pointers from her.) And Rosamund Pike, when her hair is dyed brown, looks indisputably half-Asian.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Most of the time it is fast-paced and engaging, and then suddenly, in just one or two places, it slips into photographic montages that don't match the style of the rest, and therefore come off like fixes to parts of the film that probably weren't working.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: If you've been reading along with me, you already know my feelings about why biopics rarely work. So what kind of person makes a biopic about a made-up person who's not even real or famous?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OBd5jPBzOI

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