Somewhere

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A movie star (Stephen Dorff) is forced to spend an extended period of time with his 11-year-old daughter (Elle Fanning), and in the process comes face to face with the emptiness of his rich and famous life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning, Chris Pontius, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, Lala Sloatman, Laura Chiatti, Nunzio Alfredo 'Pupi' D'Angieri, Michelle Monaghan, Giorgia Surina, Randa Walker

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Intellectual people will love this film for saying so much without saying anything at all. And all the rest of you should see it anyway, because it honestly depicts the loneliness of celebrity, in a real way that will help you run screaming away from your dreams of fame and fortune, while thanking your lucky stars for your anonymity, your closeness to your family, and the joys that come with having to work to get laid.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Did you find Lost in Translation funny? Because this is the same story, different hotel... It makes you wonder if Francis Ford Coppola's daughter has any gripes about her childhood that she's trying to get off her chest. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think she doesn't like staying in hotels very much.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not out loud, unless you're a rich, famous, guy who has to drug himself with prescriptions and alcohol, because he's so bored about being able to afford anything he wants at any moment, and get laid by anyone he wants at any moment, regardless of whether or not he's taken a shower anytime within the last calendar year.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's won a couple of gimme awards, that seem to only exist for the purpose of giving someone an award because you feel like it, even though you can't think of anything to award that person for... The funny thing is, if it had been nominated for directing or cinematography in the Independent Spirit Awards, this year, I might just have voted for it. For reals.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Elle Fanning is getting to that age where she's going to start being compared to her uber-talented sister, Dakota, so let me be the first to annoy them by doing so. And the verdict is.... it's a toss up. They're like comparing apples to apples, where one of the apples is a few years older than the other apple, but aside from that, the apples are completely indistinguishable. Stephen Dorff also does a great job of playing what I imagine is a richer and more famous version of himself.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I have seen all of Sofia Coppola's movies, and generally find them to fall somewhere between middling and downright awful. But with this one, for the first time, she managed to suck me in, hold my attention, and build my ability to patiently wait out the silent meaning of each slow, stagnant shot. Weird. She must've done something right.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are probably about 11 lines of dialogue in the whole thing, and frankly, that may be this film's genius. I imagine the script was about 20 pages long, since almost nothing describable happens in it either. Yet somehow the quiet alienation of this glamor lifestyle is deeply compelling. My only complaint is the open-ended ending, which makes you want to like this movie less than you actually did.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I once spent a weekend living at the Chateau Marmont. And despite my excitement about the glamorous premiere I was attending, where I would-- and did-- hob-nob with celebrities, the Chateau is the kind of place that makes you want to take drugs to the point of overdose. It's cold, the furniture is stiff and uncomfortable, and there are rumors of ghosts living there, including that of John Belushi, who actually did overdose to the point of death, in that hotel. While, in my opinion, ghosts are the only suitable inhabitants for the place, it should come as no surprise that Tim Burton has also spent many years of his life renting out the penthouse. See any one of Burton's movies if you want to better understand the state of mind that the energy in this haunted castle will drive you to.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Somewhere Trailer

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Eat Pray Love

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Book writer, Elizabeth Gilbert's (Julia Roberts), memoirs about the time when her life and marriage fell apart, and she lost all of her money, but somehow had enough left over to take a year off so she could travel to Italy to eat, to India to get religion, and to Bali to do-- God knows what her plan was there, but luckily she fell in love, so that her book could have a title that comes full circle.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Julia Roberts, James Franco, Viola Davis, Javier Bardem, Billy Crudup, Richard Jenkins, Mike O'Malley, Hadi Subiyanto, Tuva Novotny, Luca Argentero, Giuseppe Gandini, Christine Hakim, Anakia Lapae

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Everything about the book that works works better in the book.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a funny scene where Julia Roberts and her Swedish friend realize that they've eaten so much in Italy, and put on so much weight, that they can no longer zip up their pants. The funniest part about the scene is how skinny they both are.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Boy does this film have a lot of sentimentality in it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Let me smile in my liver on it and get back to you.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Julia Roberts is still a movie star who lights up the screen without even trying. Javier Bardem and James Franco are duly sexy in their respective love interest roles. But Richard Jenkins, as the unlikely friend who's unlikely to be in an ashram, is totally miscast. For one thing, he doesn't look enough like an all-American Texan good-ol' boy, by which I mean he's not fat. And more importantly, he looks like a Democrat.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's hard to go wrong in such colorful places as Italy, India and Bali, so it looks beautiful, but I wish the meditations had been more visually inventive... Although I admit that based on the description in the book which describes the meditations as indescribable, that was a losing battle from the moment the director signed up for this job.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Any adaptation is a challenge because there are things that work on the page which don't translate well to the screen, and this adaptation is no exception to the rule proven by my personal, made-up statistic that an average of 1 out of 18 books succeeds as a movie. This adaptation, along with the other 17 out of 18, fails on several levels. Things that are described in the book come off staged and monolgue-y when they're said out loud as dialogue. Also most of the angst that works as a starting point for Liz Gilbert's inspiring transformation from a depressed mess to a well-balanced woman with an undeniable joie de vivre is invisible on the screen. In the book, being inside her head keeps the audience attuned to her ever changing emotional level. But it would be ridiculous to hear her every thought throughout the movie-- hey, I just got a good idea for a Will Ferrell comedy!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/eat-pray-love/27799/trailers

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Finding Bliss

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An award winning film school grad (Leelee Sobieski) discovers that the only way she's going to be able to make her feature film debut is by editing films for the adult film industry.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Leelee Sobieski, Matt Davis, Donnamarie Recco, Denise Richards, Kristen Johnston, Jamie Kennedy, Mircea Monroe, P.J. Byrne, Time Bagley, Caroline Aaron

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. For a movie about people who f#@* each other for a living, it's really cute! Like a puppy doing a bunny.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It has dildos galore, and you'd have to be really horny not to think dildos are funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If, like me, you never wanted to see Jamie Kennedy whip it out, there is one part that could make you a little queasy. The good news is that I'm 99% sure it's a prosthetic. Then again, if that 1% margin is actually the case, it would explain a lot about how he's made it so far in his career... Well, that, and Son of the Mask.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Here's a useless piece of trivia I've somehow kept in the recesses of my mind for the past 13 years: Julie Davis, the director of this film used to work as an editor in the porn industry to pay for her filmmaking habit. Which gets this movie the award for Most Unlikely True Story of the Year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Mircea Monroe really stands out for me. I can see her becoming an A-list rom-com actress competing for roles with Malin Akerman. She has the looks and the comedy chops. You heard it here first, people. Check back in 2 years.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Either the directing is really ugly, or Julie Davis purposely made her film look like a B-movie from the 80s that was shot after hours at a porn studio to reflect the story she is telling about a girl making a B-movie after hours at a porn studio.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Loaded with cursing and sex, delving surprisingly deeper than it seems like it's going to go. And then deeper and deeper until the romantic storyline becomes filled with tension, and you just want so badly for it to... Ahhhh.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Now that I have my wits about me again, I'd like to apologize for what just happened in the script section. That was meant to be private. I'm so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. Oh my God, my mother reads this blog.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/finding-bliss/1426113/trailers

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Me and Orson Welles

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A teenager (Zac Efron) is cast in the 1937 Broadway production of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” and comes of age in the shadow of actor/director Orson Welles’ genius.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin, Eddie Marsan, James Tupper, Zoe Kazan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You might try not to pay full price for it. Although, I guess this film could pique the interest of various fans, so here’s a handy guide. Screaming insane tween female Zac Efron fans: stay away and re-watch the High School Musical trilogy on DVD. Forty year-old gay men: sorry, Zac never goes shirtless, re-watch 17 Again. Orson Welles fanatics: it’s an interesting insight into a week of his life, pre-Hollywood filmmaker genius mode. Richard Linklater fans: I don’t know what to tell you, no one gets high in this film and Jack Black is nowhere to be seen.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. The overall tone of the movie is light and there is good wordplay and joke set-ups that pay off with nice chuckles. The funniest revolves around “the Quadruple Space,” but I won’t ruin it for you with an explanation in this review.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. And it’s not built for it anyway so don’t hold that against it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Nothing obvious. But depending on how it plays, a buzz could begin to circle for British stage actor Christian McKay’s portrayal of a young Welles... especially when they realize that he has never acted in a movie before.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s all first rate if not spectacular. Christian McKay steals the show as a 22 year-old Orson Welles putting his budding genius on show. The performance sneaks up on you and builds into something completely authentic. Zac Efron might not blow you away, but there’s no denying his youthful charisma, perfect eyebrows and freakishly long eyelashes. He both naturally seduces and is seduced in a role that doesn’t call for much more than that.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It’s serviceable and works on the relatively low budget the film was shot on. It doesn’t look cheap, but it doesn’t look expensive either. The period detail is all there, but it’s mostly done in medium and close-up shots, which undercut the grandeur of the period. Otherwise the whole thing skips along at a nice pace and never bores.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Probably the biggest problem and the main thing holding the film back from a green light. Zac Efron’s character ‘Richard’ is the dual lead with Orson Welles and it’s an unfortunately underwritten part. Its purpose is for us, the viewer, to see Welles’ genius through the eyes of an everyman, but one can’t help wishing that we knew more about Richard and what he wanted out of life and his experience working in the theater. There also isn’t much conflict as Richard easily gets everything he wants up until the very end. There’s nothing glaringly wrong or bad with the movie, but as good as it is, it’s not hard to imagine how it could have been so much better with another script rewrite.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2003567129/

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My One and Only

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a high-class woman (Renee Zellweger) walks in on her husband (Kevin Bacon) cheating, she takes her two sons (Logan Lerman & Mark Rendall), and goes on a road trip across America to find a new husband who can support her.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Renee Zellweger, Logan Lerman, Mark Rendall, Kevin Bacon, Chris Noth, Nick Stahl, Troy Garity, J.C. MacKenzie, Eric McCormack, Molly C. Quinn, Steven Weber, Robin Weigert, David Koechner, Phoebe Strole

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is one of those movies that carries you along at a lukewarm clip, without too much suspense, but pays off in the last two minutes, when you find out who it is about. The ending is satisfying, but more so if you don't already know whose true story it is, and you're old enough to put that person's name to their face. So my advice, if you want the best possible experience, is don't read anything about this movie before you see it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is one big belly laugh, and it's about a car, and where you take it when it breaks down. Why are you still reading?

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You're still reading?! That means that either you've already decided not to see this movie, or you've figured out that I'm not going to give anything away. In either case, you're much too intellectual to be moved by the slight emotional moment at the end of the movie.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Since you're still reading, I'm gonna give you the award for biggest knucklehead. Unless you've already seen the film, in which case, I invite you to put all the spoilers you want in the comments section.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Logan Lerman is the hearthrob of the future, so you may as well get used to him. I guarantee this kid will soon be starring on the cover of magazines, as well as the majority of movies you try to see in the next decade. (He hasn't been cast in them yet, I'm just warning you, it's his destiny.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's fun to see the styles and sets of the 1950s, and they are well highlighted in this film, but the passage of time, especially how much of it has gone by from one scene to the next is very hard to follow.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: If you can get past Renee Zellweger's giant face, and the bizarre fact that everyone continually tells her how beautiful she is, here are three things that might stand out about the script. 1. She has the cutest little sayings about stuff, and you'll wonder where they come from. 2. It feels like it would make a better book than a movie. 3. The main character has an uncanny knack for running into rich ex-boyfriends the moment she sets foot in any big city in America. I mean, sure, that happens to me all the time, but-- who are we kidding, that doesn't happen to anyone!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/myoneandonly/

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