Black Swan

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A ballerina (Natalie Portman) gets cast as the lead in Swan Lake and struggles with her inner demons, as her stardom alienates her, makes her paranoid, and generally drives her insane.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder, Benjamin Millepied, Ksenia Solo, Kristina Anapau, Janet Montgomery, Sebastian Stan, Toby Hemingway

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. As you can tell from my late review, I didn't really want to see this film because it looked creepy. And it is. The members of my audience couldn't wait to get the hell out of the theater when the movie ended. But there's no denying that the filmmaking is at expert level.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Darren Aronofsky lives in a world of depressing self-importance. If there was ever any humor in this script, I'm sure he did away with it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's not necessary. Just-- if you're considering becoming a ballerina, don't.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: According to all sources, Natalie Portman is going to win an Academy Award this year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Believe the hype.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: While I'm rarely interested in any of the stories or subject matters that Darren Aronofsky is compelled to put to celluloid, visually, he is one of my absolute favorite directors working today.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: In the vein of Fight Club, the story deliberately confuses reality with the inner workings of a nutsoid person's mind. It is interpretable, though, and while I don't enjoy guessing what the storytellers want me to believe, I did enjoy the way the story of the film perfectly parallels the story of the ballet. Which brings me to my next question: why do the dudes who wrote and directed this know or care so much about this ballet?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Black Swan Trailer

Back To Top

Boy A

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A young man (Andrew Garfield) gets released from jail after doing time for a murder he (may have) committed as a boy. Now he has to rebuild his life under an assumed identity.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Andrew Garfield, Peter Mullan, Alfie Owen, Taylor Doherty, Katie Lyons, Shaun Evans, James Young, Anthony Lewis, Jeremy Swift

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! If you manage to get past the low-class British dialect which makes the dialogue nearly incomprehensible to the non-Manchester-born viewer, you will be left with a plot that is depressing and not particularly well justified in its unfolding.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only if you're Satan. And it's not a happy laugh either. It's more of an evil victorious laugh. The kind you let slip when you've just won another soul from the Heavens.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: That would've been a good thing for the filmmaker to aim for... Maybe I'll drop that one in the suggestion box.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's just slow and boring enough to be called a masterpiece by all those edumacated critics, who go around giving awards for pretension, which they are clearly confusing with art.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Most of the supporting cast was decent. But I never bought that Andrew Garfield was British... And to be perfectly honest, I think I'm still holding a grudge against him for starring in Lions for Lambs.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Dark, Gritty, possibly the least offensive aspect of the movie.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are a few good scenes and a few good moments, but the story is a downer with no lessons learned, no inspiration given, and not even a clever plot twist that makes it feel okay when the audience is left with a completely hopeless ending.

Back To Top