Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

(Guest Review by Jack)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: If you haven’t figured what this series is about by part 8 out of 8, you obviously don’t get to the movies that much- so why are you reading this blog? (Note from Monique: Don't answer that. I don't care about your reasons. Just read, read away!)

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: The same little kids from the first 7 movies- only 10 years less cute-looking now.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Even if you have not seen all the rest of them, they have plenty of recap dialogue to catch you up, and this one is a fine way to end it! That said, you may want still want to (re)visit the last one on Blu Ray, because it's fun!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are a couple of forced moments with Filch (The Hogwarts Caretaker), but it's mainly just an action movie.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but it should have. Again, they missed the emotional mark with this series– at least in comparison to the books.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: As usual, the tech credits are all top notch. People have started talking about the Academy finally recognizing the series, but really, it's no Lord of the Rings in terms of overall storytelling and creative excellence.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The best thing about the series is the casting. They really got lucky with those kids!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Yates provides plenty of exciting sequences and the movie starts even before you see the WB logo – so get ready, because it's action packed from the moment it fades in. (BTW, I saw this in 2D because all the others were that way – and I was already feeling dizzy that night. But my sister saw it in 3D and says that the added dimension actually makes some of the epic battle scenes easier to follow.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The book was great. This movie, like most of its predecessors, feels like Cliff’s Notes. But because this film only covers one third of the last book, it is not nearly as bad off as many of the previous films. In fact, between you and me, the only other HP movie that really worked for me was Order of the Phoenix. Too often, these movies have failed to capture the emotional power of the books. Thankfully, this is one of the good ones.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: This is the final chapter in the Harry Potter saga… For some of you out there, this brings a sigh of relief. You never have to hear of HP again. For the rest of us, who have loved the books and wished they never ended, this is like a death in the family. We will miss them dearly, but we must be grateful for the joy our loved ones brought us while they were relevant to pop culture.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 Trailer

Back To Top

The Hangover Part II

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Another night that no one can remember, ends in Stu (Ed Helms) getting a face deformation, Phil (Bradley Cooper) getting an arm injury, and Alan (Zach Galifianikis) getting a baby-- only this time his baby is a monkey.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianikis, Ken Jeong, Mason Lee, Justin Bartha, Jamie Chung, Paul Giamatti, Sasha Barrese, Jeffrey Tambor, Mike Tyson, Gillian Vigman, Aroon Seeboonruang, Yasmin Lee

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! If you want to see another Hangover, you'll get what you came for. But, since you've seen one before, everything that was fresh and original about the first one is gone, and even the surprises won't be that surprising.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: As with the last one, the hardest laughs are in the slideshow at the end... And also, the monkey does have a banana on his hat.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: That depends on how you feel about chicks with dicks. Hey, you were warned by the fact that this takes place in Bangkok.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This gets the prize for Consistency. Whatever they did last time, they found a new way to do it all again.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sometimes, when I stare into Bradley Cooper's steel blue eyes, or I catch a glimpse of his red-lipped, toothy smile, I can't help but wonder... why has he never played a vampire? Separately, I'd like to note that from now on, when someone tries to insult what I'm doing by telling me, "A monkey could do it," I'm going to assume they're talking about the monkey in this movie, and be flattered.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The first half is really slow and predictable. It even gave me time to wonder who could possibly be the one to get married in The Hangover Part III. I don't think Bradley Cooper can, because he's such a dick that his only redeeming quality is his marital status. Ed Helms is already on his second-- although they gave him a lot of good reasons to get dumped in the plot of this one. And Zach Galifianakis is pretty much undateable.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: They take everything so far in this one that you almost feel like you can't come back from it. And actually, their attempt to do so is passable at best.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Hangover Part II Trailer

Back To Top

Fast Five

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: First of all, can you believe I saw this?! Got passes to a free screening and thought the poster looked cool, so I went to the 5th installment of The Fast and the Furious franchise, of which I've seen NONE of the the first four. So here's what I think it's about... There's this bad guy, and he befriended an undercover cop, but now the cop loves him, because he's dating the bad guy's sister, so he decides to break the bad guy out of jail, and now he's a bad guy, too. But really, they're both good guys.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Lucacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Joaquim de Almeida, Dwayne Johnson, Elsa Pataky, Michael Irby

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It's loud! And crazy! And I think the heroes died about once every five minutes if this weren't a movie. But it really is adrenaline pumping, and anyone who takes it as pure fantasy, existing merely for the purpose of outlandish action, is gonna love it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. At the acting. I haven't seen the first four, so I'm assuming this is meant to be a spoof.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: They destroy at least $10 million worth of cars, so somebody should be crying. Like all those people who just lost their jobs and got their cars repoed recently. Look out for yours, it's probably in there getting smashed to bits.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I don't see how anyone could ever beat this in a vehicular stunt contest. I also think the guy who has to clean up the mess these guys leave in their wake should get an award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Vin Diesel makes the Rock look like an Oscar contender. And Paul Walker is so bland, that most actors would have to be lobotomized to do what he does. But at least the girls are bad-ass.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Sometimes when I watch all the different angles Justin Lin had to get to cover the action scenes and explosions, I think he must have a lot of patience. But don't cast The Rock and Vin Diesel in the same fight scene. In fast motion, it's impossible to tell their bald heads apart!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As a screenwriter myself, all I can say is, "How do they come up with this stuff?!" Oh, yeah, it's like this.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Fast Five Trailer

Back To Top

Scream 4

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When Sidney (Neve Campbell) returns to her home town after 15 years, Ghostface Killer (the serial killer, not the rapper) decides to go on his first killing spree since the last time she was in town.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Marielle Jaffe, Marley Shelton, Rory Culkin, Nico Tortorella, Erik Knudsen, Anthony Anderson, Adam Brody, Alison Brie, Mary McDonnell, Lucy Hale, Shenae Grimes, Anna Paquin, Kristen Bell, Aimee Teegarden, Brittany Robertson, Heather Graham

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's not bad. It's not good. It's just a completely unnecessary addition to your film repertoire. Especially if you've seen the other films in this series, because this one adds pretty much nothing to the party.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: How many Meta-jokes can one movie make? This movie attempts to determine that with the answer: All of them. Even the ones that have already been made in Screams 1, 2, & 3.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You could feel sad for Courtney Cox and David Arquette who play a married couple in the movie, while playing a divorcing couple in real life. Their animosity towards each other really comes across on the screen.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Flashback to the 90s Award. You feel like you're right back in it, since nothing in this town or this franchise has evolved or been updated since then.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Emma Roberts hits a false note when she yells at Neve Campbell in a climactic scene, but then redeems herself with a short but perfectly nuanced performance in the following scene, in the hospital.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Remember when they remade Psycho shot for shot, and all anybody had to say was, "Why bother to remake it if you're just going to do the exact same movie with younger actors?" Well, that's exactly how you feel watching this movie. Only this time, it's unintentional... I don't know which is worse.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The "Why done it?" re-iterates how totally unjustified this killing spree actually is, and leaves you even more confused about why this particular character would have the capacity to kill anyone. The only redeeming part of the story is the ending after the ending, which at least tries something new, and then ruins it with a line of dialogue that suggests that you should never try anything new.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

Back To Top

A: Scream 4 Trailer

Little Fockers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Part 3 of the Meet the Parents franchise introduces the idea of passing the head-of-family baton, as Jack Byrnes' (Robert De Niro) health is threatened, and he takes it upon himself to figure out if Greg/Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller) has what it takes to be the new GodFocker.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson, Teri Polo, Jessica Alba, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbara Streisand, Daisy Tahan, Colin Baiocchi, Laura Dern, Kevin Hart, Tom McCarthy, Harvey Keitel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The best thing I can say about this movie is that it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. So, if you're into this series, definitely give it a whirl.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you'll laugh at just about anything.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you're looking for an easy laugh because your real life is making you cry just about as much as you can handle.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Ensemble cast most likely to get my mother to see a movie that she would never have any interest in seeing. Award goes to De Niro, Hoffman, and Streisand, for making up a cast list that might fool the undiscerning eye into thinking this will be a serious movie for grown ups.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The only thing Ben Stiller's character has in common with the guy he played in the first Meet the Parents is his face. The character, who used to be insecure and concerned about pleasing, is suddenly confident and in control. But I'm not sure you're allowed to change your characters in ways that real humans are incapable of changing, just because 10 years have gone by since the first movie. Do the filmmakers think we've forgotten what he's supposed to be like? If anything, it's they who have forgotten-- about the advent of DVD, and repeats of old movies on TV, which make it possible for us to have seen the original as recently as this morning. Owen Wilson's character, has also gone through a complete metamorphosis since the first movie. Which is mostly surprising because Owen Wilson really only has one character in his toolbox.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Considering Paul Weitz's amazing track record casting unknown, young actors in such movies as American Pie and About a Boy, I would've expected him to find more interesting kids to play the little Fockers.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The premise is thin, forced and played out, but within that, the writers manage keep it moving and even insert a few laughable jokes here and there... The funniest of which is the complete character shifts for Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. Well, at least Robert De Niro is still the same one note guy!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Little Fockers Trailer

Back To Top

TRON: Legacy 3D

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fearless rebel (Garrett Hedlund) enters a dangerous video game to try to find his father (Jeff Bridges), who disappeared when he was a boy.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, Michael Sheen, James Frain, Beau Garrett, Cillian Murphy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. From the Benjamin Buttons effect to the live action video game play, the special effects are impressive. Everything else about the movie is painful.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: You know, making even a single attempt at humor might've been a good idea. You don't get to make a silly movie about being a live player running around a video game AND take yourself seriously.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's a sad story about childhood abandonment by a father trapped in a gilded cage, but I didn't cry. Maybe because I was so busy wondering what I was doing at a movie that could only appeal to 10-year-old boys. No, that's not it. It's because the writing sucked.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hope the visual effects get a nomination, because otherwise, this the biggest waste of $300 million I've ever seen.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Garrett Hedlund had me thinking, "Why this guy?" I have to imagine they picked him because he was cheap, and they needed a nobody to counteract the high cost of special effects. But still, there are so many nobodies running around L.A. looking for a job like this one, so, "Why this guy?" Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, had me thinking, "I know why this guy!" He plays two versions of himself, and so convincingly that you sometimes forget he's talking to himself. Separately, I should mention that it's great to see Michael Sheen playing a character that's not Tony Blair.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Okay, so the guy can do special effects. But truth be told, as they were playing their death-games with their little disks, I rarely had any idea who was winning, how they were winning, what the rules were, why somebody died or disintegrated while somebody else didn't, or even who was playing to begin with. And my inability to follow the action is directly related to how the action is directed.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Father and son stories easily lend themselves to heartfelt, universal emotions, but when you bring dialogue like "The Creator" and "His Son" into it, you patronize the Christian audience you're trying to pretend this was made for, and you alienate everybody else. Not to mention that the sci-tech talk is incomprehensible, and the emotional talk is trite. But, yeah, go see it for the special effects, everybody! I know how important those are to you.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Daft Punk is getting a lot of notoriety for doing the techno-score, but musically, the thing that impressed me the most was the use of Journey to harken the 1980s, when Tron was born... Although I beg you not to do the math on that, because if Sam's dad disappeared when old- fashioned video games and arcades were still hot, Sam should be a lot closer to 37 than 27-- which is the age that he says he is... Then again, based on the city they live in and the technological advances, the movie takes place some time in the future, so realistically, he's probably closer to 127.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: TRON: Legacy Trailer
Back To Top

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: In 2008, a young, up and coming Wall Street trader (Shia LaBeouf) loses his mentor (Frank Langella) and then gets taken for a ride by competing would-be replacements (Michael Douglas, Josh Brolin).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Brolin, Carey Mulligan, Eli Wallach, Susan Sarandon, Frank Langella, Austin Pendleton, John Bedford Lloyd, Vanessa Ferlito, John Buffalo Mailer

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. I almost loved this movie, but the ending didn't make sense, and then I realized that if I hadn't seen the documentary Inside Job two days before, many parts of the middle wouldn't have made sense either.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Surprisingly, not at all.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Surprisingly, but not at the end.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Carey Mulligan gives us a plethora of Oscar worthy moments.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I was so glad they figured out how to fit in a cameo by Charlie Sheen. The Oliver Stone cameo, on the other hand, jolted my concentration right out of the movie. I don't even think I could tell you what that scene was about. All I know is there was supposed to be a sex joke in it. I didn't laugh. I was too busy getting over the fact that Stone favored himself over the lead character in the shot. Clearly, he finds himself exceedingly attractive.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The slickest thing about this movie is Gordon Gekko's hair. And for as much as Oliver Stone's random psychedelic cutaways added to the look and feel of Natural Born Killers, that's how much they distract from the look and feel of Wall Street. I would even go so far as to say that some of his choices look remarkably amateurish.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: This script would have been so much more insightful if it had been written before the crash of 2008. As it is now, characters go around acting like they're so smart for telling us what's going to happen in the future, when their future is already in our past. I could've predicted the crash under those circumstances, too.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/wall-street-money-never-sleeps/38914/trailers

Back To Top

Step Up 3D

(Featuring Contributions by Guest Reviewer Valerie)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A lot of people think that the most important thing in the world is winning a dance battle that no one else even knows exists.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Rick Malambri, Adam G. Sevani, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner, Keith Stallworth, Joe Slaughter, Martin Lombard, Facundo Lombard, Daniel 'Cloud' Campos, Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, Oren 'Flearock' Michaeli, and literally every person in the world who has ever had or wanted a career in dance.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Let's face it, no one goes to Step Up for the the plot, they go for the dancing. So why would they ruin the magic of the mad skills involved in this level of dancing by doing it in 3D, which makes it look like special effects instead of human genius?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Laugh with or laugh at?

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You might cry about the extra $4 you are forced to spend on 3D, only so you can leave the theater thinking, "I can't wait for this to come out in 2D."

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Choreography.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Adam G. Sevani is angling for Michael Cera's sloppy seconds. Meanwhile, Sharni Vinson, as the love interest, seems to be angling for the unemployment line. And she's a terrible kisser.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: If I had a nickel for every useless 3D effect the director uses, I'd have enough money to remake this movie in 2D.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There's dancing, betrayal, horrible dialogue, and star-crossed lovers from opposite sides of the tracks. Basically, what I'm saying is they dug up the scripts for Step Up and Step Up 2: the Streets, and changed a few names and places.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Just a couple more major problems: the soundtrack is not nearly as blood-pumping as it was for Step Up 2, and 4 times out of 5 our heroes' winning dance routines are definitively not as good as the competitors' losing routines.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/step-up-3d/51894/trailers

Back To Top

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Bella (Kristen Stewart) still wants to be a vampire. Edward (Robert Pattison) still wants her to marry him. Jacob (Taylor Lautner) still loves her. And Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) is coming to eat her.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Xavier Samuel, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Bryce Dallas Howard, Dakota Fanning, Anna Kendrick, Michael Welch, Christian Serratos, Justin Chon, Kiowa Gordon, Tyson Houseman, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Julia Jones, Tinsel Korey, Chaske Spencer, Gil Birmingham, Alex Rice, BooBoo Stewart, Daniel Cudmore, Cameron Bright, Charlie Bewley, Catalina Sandino, Moreno

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! If you overlook the fact that Bella is basically choosing between bestiality and necrophilia, it's a fun, sexually-charged, tantric ride.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The threesome scene is pretty funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: For sure. But it's the kind of crying that only happens during moments of insane fandom, when you realize that your idol is right there in front of you in 70mm. Think Beatlemania with Twi-hards.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: There is something about the way Bella and Edward kiss that makes you wish it were you. I don't know how they do it, but they really do deserve a nomination for Best Kiss. (That's an actual award, Mom.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The acting is decent enough in this one, but the characters are really getting annoying. Jacob is a douche for continually trying to convince Bella to love him, right in front of her boyfriend. He comes off delusional and out of his league. Edward is a sap, all he can talk about is marriage and saving sex until after that's done. His love is so unconditional, you start to really wonder what it's based on. And Bella comes off like a whiny brat, always saying, "I don't want you guys putting your lives in danger over little ol' me... But don't let me die, okay?"

Q: How is the Directing?

A: More than one scene was blurry, and the filmic style has definitely gotten less gritty since Catherine Hardwicke left the picture. On the flip side, the latest director, David Slade, seems to have brought out a slightly deeper level of acting from his stars. Rumor has it, Billy Burke (the dad) and Peter Facinelli (the vampire dad) ended up having to take over the acting-coaching responsibilities before this director came along.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's a nice touch that this episode gives us some of their origin stories. We learn about Rosalie's background and how she became a vampire and what era she lived in, as well as Jasper's history, era, and conversion days. Most interesting perhaps, though, is the brief history of the Indian tribe's bloody past, and how they came to hate vampires. In other scripting news, I still haven't figured out why Edward and Jacob are fighting over Bella. What's she got? I mean, aside from being a good kisser.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Rob Pattinson gets a pretty bad rap for constantly complaining about all the fanatical girls screaming in his presence. Well, I went to the Premiere last night, and I have to say, the insanity of the energy (and screaming and fainting) that occurred when he walked in, gave me a lot more sympathy for what he's dealing with on a daily basis. He could hardly get to his seat, despite more security than the Commander in Chief. His fans are not only crazy, they're animalistic. Then again, their presence in the screening added a wonderful je ne sais quoi to the whole viewing experience. Especially during the sexy scenes, when they literally freaked out screaming at the screen, as if Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart weren't in the room, too. It must have been very uncomfortable for them.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-twilight-saga-eclipse/36837/trailers

Back To Top

Toy Story 3

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When the boy who owns the Toy Story toys goes off to college, he has to pack up his toys, which mistakenly get sent to the trash instead of the attic. Their escape from the trash bag leads them on an adventure that only these particular talking toys could ever get themselves into.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Estelle Harris, John Morris, Jodi Benson, Emily Hahn, Laurie Metcalf, Blake Clark, Teddy Newton, Timothy Dalton, Kristen Schaal, Jeff Garlin, Bonnie Hunt

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! If you've been following my reviews, you know I hate that Pixar continually gets praised and worshiped for everything they do, even when it's illogical and/or boring, so I hope you won't take it lightly when I say that this is the best movie I have seen all year.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: More than Tim Allen's last 9 movies combined.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not only will it move you, it also has some of the most thrilling action sequences I've seen in a while. Take a clue, Transformers. It's okay to have action AND a story.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Both the feature and the short film that plays before it (Day & Night) will win their respective categories.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I can't believe I've seen Don Rickles in two new releases in as many weeks. And I'm equally as surprised that Barbie has finally been featured in a movie that's watchable.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Energetic and exhilarating, but I still don't see how 3D makes it any more interesting.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: They should teach this movie in screenwriting school. It has drama and humor and action and a multitude of moving parts that all come together perfectly. Not a moment is without its satisfying payoff.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/toy-story-3/22984/trailers

Back To Top

Sex and the City 2

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Samantha (Kim Cattrall) gets invited to Abu Dhabi and invites Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), on an all-expenses paid vacation where they can get away from their marital problems only to be reminded of them, while Samantha struggles with the de-sexualization of women in this part of the world.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Chris Noth, John Corbett, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler, Willie Garson, Mario Cantone, Jason Lewis, Alice Eve, Max Ryan, Alexandra Fong, Parker Fong, Raza Jaffrey, Walton Nunes, with Liza Minnelli, Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Aside from the anticipation, the most exciting part of seeing this movie is watching all the packs of pre-arousal women entering the theater dressed up like they are characters from the film (myself included). It reminds me of another campy and oftentimes boring movie that has made an event out of audience participation. So watch out Rocky Horror Picture Show! You're getting old, and you may soon be replaced by a younger batch of overly sexed, pre-menopausal ladies, who look like they're in drag most of the time.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Some. But a lot of the jokes try too hard to be witty, young, and hip, and in so doing end up looking like old people dressing too young for their age. If you want to make up cute little terms like "friendtervention," save it for when you get hired to write Bring It On 7.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I cried when I realized how blatantly the character and dialogue wreaked of having been written by a gay man. Gay men and straight women do not think or act the same way as each other, because gay men are still men. Sex and the City came to prominence because women were starved for stories that dealt with their issues and dilemmas in a real way. So if you're gonna have a gay man writing and directing, at least get a woman consultant on board and listen to what she has to say... And this in a film that talks about women not having a voice.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The MacGruber Award. For a scene so ridiculous, it would only be appropriate if it had been in MacGruber. Did you know that according to this movie, the women in Abu Dhabi wear big furry Versace outfits underneath their burkas? Yeah, they do that because it's not hot enough being in 109 degree weather covered from head to face to toe in a black sheet. You know what, while we're here, lets just give all the fashion in this movie the MacGruber Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The girls do a good job of bringing back their characters like not a day has gone by. Separately, at the ripe age of 43, I think British actor, Max Ryan, may have finally gotten his breakout role. Move over George Clooney, there's a new silver fox in town!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Considering some of the themes that are broached in this movie, it could have been great if only Michael Patrick King had cut about 45 minutes out of it, so he could have actually delved into the broached themes. Here are some of the obvious cut suggestions: 1) the gay wedding-- which doesn't advance the story in any way whatsoever, 2) the karaoke scene--which advances nothing, 3) the scene where they ride camels in the desert-- which seems to only be set there so that Samantha can say "Lawrence of my labia," 4) the tour of their hotel room-- which is only fun for the first 15 seconds of the 3 minute long sequence, 5) the 4 Maybachs-- if I went on vacation with my friends, I would want to sit in the car with them, and it's clear that the only reason they each get their own is so the director can shoot endless montages, that look like car commercials, of them driving together and pulling up together, 6) the extraneous costume changes-- yes we know the movie is about fashion, but we don't need to have scenes about changing into another outfit at the airport and in the desert. Nobody does that. Not even them. They know where they're going, they dress for it, and when they get back to the hotel, they change into new clothes for the next event. That also avoids clunky dialogue like, "Oh, but I can't ride a camel in this!" As well as voice overs like, "12 hours and one outfit change later, we were in Abu Dhabi."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Sure there are a couple of classic S&TC scenes, like when Charlotte and Miranda discuss the difficulties of motherhood, and when Carrie and Aidan go on a date, but most of the drama is so light and surface-scratching that I actually thought I was watching an episode of The Hills at times. The Really Old Hills. If Michael Patrick King had cut some of the above mentioned scenes, he would've had time to get into the women's dramatic struggles in ways that had, well, drama. And I'm not into spoilers, so don't get me started on Carrie's plot's resolution!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: What is the appeal of Mr. Big? He has no personality, and never has. He just looks like a giant-sized wallet to me, and that makes Carrie look like your run of the mill gold-digger. She has always had way more chemistry with Aidan.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/sex-and-the-city-2/35814/trailers

Back To Top

Iron Man 2

(Guest Review by Annette)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Billionaire playboy/weapons specialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is back. The government wants him to hand over the Iron Man technology, the energy core is poisoning him, and there’s a bad Russian (Mickey Rourke) in town who is bent on revenge.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, Jon Favreau, Garry Shandling, Clark Gregg, John Slattery, Paul Bettany, Kate Mara, Leslie Bibb, Christiane Amanpour, Larry Ellison, DJ Am, Stan Lee, Olivia Munn, Jack White

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It’s not as good as the original, but if you like high-octane action (read: lots of stuff blowing up) and don’t mind a predictable storyline, go see Iron Man Part Deux.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: RDJ delivers the trademark Tony Stark snark. Expect a few chuckles, but don’t worry about popping your stitches.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you thought Mickey Rourke was hot in 9 ½ Weeks, you’ll spend the entire movie getting choked up about the fact that he never became a silver-fox like George Clooney.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The New Coke Award given out to all the sequels that just don’t live up to the original.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark. Like every character he takes on, you just can’t imagine any other actor in that role. Mickey Rourke makes an awesome villain without even trying; he’d be the first person you’d cast in a movie about Genghis Khan or Janice Dickinson. Sam Rockwell makes a great sleazy weasel—the kind that makes you wish you had a whack-a-mole mallet. Jackson and Cheadle are under-utilized and it's sad to see their talent wasted in such underdeveloped roles. ScarJo is merely a set decoration to ramp up the comic fanboy drool factor. Don’t ask me about Gwyneth Paltrow. She irks.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: CGI heavy.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Weighed down with too many subplots. Lots of things blow up. Tony Stark has clever dialogue. That pretty much sums it up.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I think Chelsea Handler is the only person who wouldn’t realize they swapped out Terrance Howard for Don Cheadle in the role of Lt. Col. Rhodey Rhodes. (see explanation of this joke here: http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/05/21/chelsea-handler-mixes-up-african-american-actors-video/)

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/iron-man-2/33909/trailers

Back To Top

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

(Guest Review by Kacy)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Vampires, Werewolves and teen angst. Oh my God-- can you believe Edward actually dumps Bella?! I mean his reasons are good, but still! And then her only choice is to fall into the loving arms of Jacob-- who's a werewolf-- which is totally, like, an enemy of a vampire!

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Anna Kendrick, Jackson Rathbone, Cam Gigandet, Michael Sheen, Peter Facinelli, Rachelle Lefevre, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Dakota Fanning, Chaske Spencer, Billy Burke, Jamie Campbell-Bower, Graham Greene, Edi Gathegi, Cameron Bright, Christopher Heyerdahl, Charlie Bewley, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon, Christian Serratos, Gil Birmingham, Tinsel Korey, Tyson Houseman

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you are a teenager, definitely. Or, of course, if you are a Cougar who likes looking at young men with their shirts off. And really, who isn't?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: In true Twilight form, most of the laughs come from the cheesy special effects.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if you wanted to see more of Edward because he’s hardly in this film
(nor was he in the book much).

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's got the Teen Choice awards in the bag... but we knew that before the film even came out.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Nothing spectacular, but no one is going to worry about what's coming out of those mens' mouths, because they're too busy staring at their shirtless werewolf bods.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Better than the first film. However, in the book, Bella just heard Edward's voice in her head, whereas in the film, the director made the bad choice of showing him as a floating vision.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Fairly true to the book. But I found it frustrating that this story
portrays a weak female who gives up on life when her boyfriend breaks up
with her. And she pines over the bad boy who left her, instead of giving
the nice boy a shot. Finally there are times when the story feels like a
classic case of domestic violence. The women (Bella and Sam’s wife) are
hurt by their “monster” men, but love and stay with them despite this. If I
had a daughter, I wouldn’t be thrilled that this kind of story and
characters is one that teenagers love and value. It’s a sad statement on
our society.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-twilight-saga-new-moon/36045/trailers

Back To Top

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After eight years in hiding, Boston's Boondock Saints (Sean Patrick Flanery & Norman Reedus) get called back into action, when someone kills a priest in a fashion that implies it was their work.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr., Julie Benz, Peter Fonda, Judd Nelson, David Della Rocco, Bob Marley, Brian Mahoney, David Ferry, Gerard Parkes, Bob Rubin

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's got its holes, and it's got its flaws, but if you allow yourself to go along for the ride, you will find that this is just some good-old cheesy shoot 'em up fun.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The comedy is sort of the highlight of this film. Using an entirely new tone from the original, the film manages to brilliantly spoof itself. Now, I don't know if that was deliberate, but if it was congratulations to the filmmakers for opening up their audience, and if it wasn't they should definitely take this opportunity to pretend that it was.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Several likeable characters will die, and you will just have to deal with it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: After the original bombed at the box office, it slowly found a die-hard cult audience on video (yes, that's how long ago the original came out), and thanks to that, investors became interested in putting money up for a sequel. So it's already won the Most Unlikely Sequel Award, and that's really something to be proud of.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sometimes when I watch these smaller films I am forced to realize that I don't watch enough TV. Julie Benz, who is mostly known for Dexter, has an absolutely break out performance. Of course, I have no way of knowing if she's always that good, because I've never seen her before. Meanwhile, Clifton Collins Jr., who can play both frightening and hilarious-- and does both within this film-- proves why he is unbelievably castable, and will be a great resource for directors needing just about any quality for many more years to come. As for the Boondock Saints themselves... they're hardly in the movie.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Troy Duffy has a very strong cinematic sense, which he proves over again in this sequel. Unfortunately, he also proves that he's self-indulgent and showy in ways that don't always highlight his talent. He often makes choices that are so busy drawing attention to his directing, that they take away from the story, and confuse the audience. In addition, there are a few scenes that end up dragging on a bit too long, and seem only to be there to showcase some great shot or effect he wasn't willing to leave on the cutting room floor. Even a second of boredom in a film can snap you right out of the world you're trying to be drawn into.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are a lot of inside jokes that refer back to the original in ways that make it hard to follow the film if you're not in the know. I've actually seen the original, but it was so many years ago, and I've seen hundreds (possibly thousands) of other films since then, so I found myself having a hard time following the non-linear structure. I was able to quickly move past those moments, so I still enjoyed it-- especially the comedy-- but I also breathed a sigh of relief every time I was (heavy handedly) told by the characters about some relevant thing that had happened in the original.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It's hard for me to write about Troy Duffy or The Boondock Saints without recommending a documentary called Overnight. It's about him and the notorious Hollywood story of how the original script sold for a ridiculously high price to Miramax, catapulting him to overnight success, but how with his arrogance, he managed to throw it all away overnight, too, finding himself back in the struggle with everybody else, just another guy trying to get his film off the ground. This is an amazing cautionary tale for all those of you with big Hollywood dreams. Troy's story has a moderately happy ending, since we know that his story leads to a sequel-- which is a pretty indisputable proof of success. But it's also important to point out that despite all his raw talent, he wasn't able to land another directing job in 10 years until this sequel was funded. I'll be interested to see if he gets a second chance this time...

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-boondock-saints-ii-all-saints-day/39245/trailers

Back To Top

Terminator Salvation

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Future savior, John Connor (Christian Bale), leads a human resistance in a war against Skynet machines in order to save mankind.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood, Anton Yelchin, Helena Bonham Carter, Bryce Dallas Howard, Common, Jane Alexander, Michael Ironside

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The Terminator franchise, which now consists of four movies (and one TV show, RIP), includes two bona fide classics (the first and second films), a boring one I can’t even remember (#3) and now Salvation which lands somewhere in the middle. The action is pretty cool and the machines are sort of like transformers with no paint, but the biggest thing missing is still James Cameron in the director’s chair.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you've heard the recording of Christian Bale's on-set freak out, then it probably already has.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Isn't it enough to know that he made his cinematographer cry? And he should be very proud of that, too, because it would certainly be the first time anyone has laughed or cried at one of his films.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It actually already won a secret underground award for Film Most Likely to Make you go Deaf. And it turns out someone snuck out a snippet of audio from Bale's acceptance speech. I have titled it, "Ohhhhhhh, good for you!" (*warning: contains foul language) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrvMTv_r8sA

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Does anyone care about the acting in Terminator movies? Maybe James Cameron once did. Sam Worthington who is the real star of this movie actually makes an impression and from what I can tell he does it all by himself since the script did him no favors. And speaking of James Cameron, he cast Worthington as the star of his next movie, which is called Avatar and is supposed to blow everyone away when it comes out on December 18th. Proving once again James Cameron knows good acting. Anton Yelchin pops up in yet another summer blockbuster and you’d never know he’s the same guy who played Chekov in Star Trek – the kid has a future. Moon Bloodgood has a cool name and gives a cool performance to go with it. I think maybe Christian Bale is in this movie too, but he did not have pointy ears and a cape so it was hard to tell.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: McG can definitely direct action, and boy is there a lot of it in this movie. Pretty much wall-to-wall and some sequences are genuinely riveting. But there is so much of it, it only makes you recall what made the first two Terminator movies so good; namely the subversive humor, suspense, character development and quiet between the big action set pieces. There is no salvation from the noise in Salvation, and we learn almost zero about any of the characters. I mean, Bryce Dallas Howard plays a pregnant woman who is in a bunch of scenes with Christian Bale, but by the end I still had no idea if she was his wife or his maid. (And really, it didn’t matter either way but I’m thinking it should have.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story is sort of interesting and has a decent twist to it, but it could have been way better and executed for more suspense. It all revolves around Marcus Wright, the Sam Worthington character and the less you know about him going in the more satisfying it will be. There is still that whole time-travel tripiness to the story, so it helps to have seen the first two films (at the very least). Maybe the fact this movie isn’t horrible is a triumph in itself. Or have my expectations for summer movies just fallen way too far?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/terminator-salvation/31561/trailers

Back To Top

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The High School Musical gang is in their senior year, so they're playing their last basketball game, performing their last musical, and trying to figure out how they will deal with their broken hearts as they leave each other to go off to college.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman, Bart Johnson, Alyson Reed, Olesya Rulin, Chris Warren Jr., Ryne Sanborn, KayCee Stroh, Matt Prokop, Justin Martin, Jemma McKenzie-Brown

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution... Unless you're under 8 years old, in which case congratulations on finding and reading this incredibly mature blog.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly at yourself, for being there.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you grew up watching good musical and dancing movies about high schoolers, like Grease and Footloose, it makes you sad to notice that not only is the depth of teenage music, life and angst only scratching the surface here, but bizarrely, as real life teenagers get more and more wild, the depiction of them in movies gets more and more tame. What's that trying to prove?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Craziest phenomenon of the new millennium.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Zac Efron is dreamy. Which is the only reason I can think of that justifies how this series caught on. As far as the rest of the cast goes, you find yourself wondering where they will be 5 years from now. My guess is The Surreal Life.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's like watching The Disney Channel on a really big screen.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: If you're going to this movie for the story, you don't know anything about High School Musical. And if you don't know anything about High School Musical, you're living under a rock. And if you're living under a rock, you've got bigger problems to worry about than how lame this story is.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: You should probably take my in-depth analysis with a grain of salt on this one, because while I did see the first High School Musical, I missed the second one, so I might have missed some of the important hidden innuendo in the third.

Back To Top

Hamlet 2

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A down on his luck drama teacher (Steve Coogan) tries to put on the play of his life, with a bunch of apathetic students, to try to save the drama program from being phased out.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, David Arquette, Amy Poehler, Melonie Diaz, Elisabeth Shue, Marshall Bell, Joseph Julian Soria, Skylar Astin, Phoebe Strole, Michael Esparza, Arnie Pantoja, Natalie Amenula, Shea Pepe

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! This quirky little film is full of unexpected dialogue and unconventional (read: inappropriate) teaching methods. Like when a teacher asks a student to punch him in the gut, what lesson would you guess he's trying to teach that student? Because I have no clue, and I can't guarantee that seeing the movie will answer that question for you either.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Everyone may not laugh at the same time, but you'll all find something to laugh at.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not likely, but you will find yourself tapping your feet and singing along to the catchy musical theater number, "Rock me, sexy Jesus."

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the honor of being the highest priced sale at Sundance this year, so that's pretty big.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Steve Coogan is so Steve Coogan in this one. If you like Steve Coogan's schtick, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you don't know Steve Coogan's schtick, this would be a good introduction to it. And Catherine Keener, who's naturally more suited to play edgier roles than fluffy love-interests, has an opportunity to show us what she does best-- which is be unhappy and in your face about it.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Although I have no idea what the final stage play was about or how it had anything to do with Hamlet 1 (as they hilariously call William Shakespeare's little dramatic frivolity), I was drawn in by the staging and design of the piece.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I'm not sure at all about the logic behind pretty much everything in the third act, but if I don't scratch my head too hard, I realize that I still had fun. Just don't think about it.

Back To Top

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

(Guest Review by Kacy)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: In this sequel, the 4 girls from the first film have grown up into young adulthood, which means this time they’re getting over heartaches, fixing family dramas, dealing with pregnancy scares, and generally learning to let go of their childhoods.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel, America Ferrera, Blake Lively, Rachel Nichols, Tom Wisdom, Rachel Ticotin, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Leonardo Nam, Michael Rady, Blythe Danner, Jesse Williams, Lucy Hale, Kyle MacLachlan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Much like its predecessor, this movie is a real treat if you see it as a rental or on a plane. After appropriately seeing the first one as a rental, seeing the sequel on the big screen was a mistake. Not the worst film I have seen this summer (I saw X-Files), but it’s up there.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only if you’re under 20.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: They want you to, but I didn't.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If only MTV had an award for "Hottest bodies," the many beautiful, shirtless, men in the film might have collected the recognition they so rightly deserved!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: All of the young actresses in this franchise have blown up since the first movie, so it seems they took advantage of their new-found success to phone-in their performances on this contractually-obligated sequel.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Stale and inconsistent. Except for the beautiful scenery of Greece, it’s mostly boring.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It’s a difficult franchise structure because the 4 main characters are hardly ever on screen together. Thematically, I guess that makes sense, because it depicts what happens to childhood friends when they grow up. But with four separate stories, it’s hard for the film not to feel a bit long.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Maybe I’m too old and cranky to enjoy such frivolities, or maybe my expectations were too high, because I really enjoyed the first one (in my youth of 3 years ago)… But the girlfriend I saw it with really liked it.

Back To Top

The X Files: I Want to Believe

(Guest Review by Jack and Kacy)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Mulder and Scully (David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson) are called back to duty by the FBI when a former priest claims to be receiving psychic visions pertaining to a kidnapped agent.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Alvin "Xzibit" Joiner, Mitch Pileggi

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! If you liked the series, revisit your favorite episode on DVD. If you didn’t like the series, this will not make you want to believe.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: No. There is a George Bush joke in there, but even that isn’t funny. And he's the easiest target since Michael Jackson.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you liked the series, you will cry about how badly they wasted their opportunity to grow the franchise. After this bomb, you can file Mulder and Scully in a place more remote than the X-Files. They will not return. Believe that.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If this wins anything, then I'll believe that aliens exist!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: During the extended hiatus, Gillian Anderson seems to have forgotten who Scully was... David Duchovny is passable, but all that mumbling through his beard for the first third of the movie doesn’t help his cause.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Chris Carter promised that this movie would scare the daylights out of me... It did. I was scared that he thought this was any good. No wonder they kept everything ultra secret. They didn’t want the secret to get out that it stank!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: In Gillian Anderson's defense, maybe she phoned in her performance because she wasn’t given anything worthwhile to say. The story is boring and the script even more so. This would not even rate in the upper half of X-Files TV episodes.

Back To Top