Centurion

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: During Roman times, a few honorable soldiers swashbuckled for their lives in a world of corrupt allies and enemies.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, Noel Clarke, David Morrissey, JJ Feild, Riz Ahmed, Ulrich Thomsen, Imogen Poots, Axelle Carolyn, Dave Legeno,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. With battle scenes that are reminiscent of Inglorious Basterds but a much less emotionally compelling plot, this movie is made for guys who like bloody sword fights and the thrill of combat movies that take place during an age when men wore dresses.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are very few jokes, but they are as funny as they are rare.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but it will probably make you close your eyes and turn away from the screen a few times, as you scrunch up your face like you just bit into a lemon.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'd consider it for Most Gratifying Murder of a Small to Medium-sized Child.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The most standout thing about the acting is the incredible beauty of both Olga Kurylenko and Imogen Poots. And also finding out that (according to this movie) in Ancient Roman times, women apparently fought in battles, and men apparently had no issues with killing them brutally if need be.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: With a few well placed sweeping crane shots, Neil Marshall makes a small movie, with very few differing locations seem big in scale, but the battle scenes tend to be shot too close up, so that even during climactic moments, it's hard to tell who killed who and how.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It relies mostly on voice over to move the story along between chase scenes and battles, but the most annoying part is actually the ending, which humiliates itself by desperately and blatantly begging for a sequel, instead of neatly wrapping everything up.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiQCofKrYAI

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When in Rome

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A workaholic curator (Kristen Bell), who doesn't believe in love, picks 5 coins out of a fountain of love, in Rome, and is surprised to find the previous owners of those coins (Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Dax Shepard, Jon Heder, & Josh Duhamel) chasing her around New York, like crazy in love puppy dogs, who will do anything to impress her. Really? Not a single one of the coins that she picked was tossed in by a woman? I find that unlikely.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Anjelica Huston, Alexis Dziena, Kate Micucci, Peggy Lipton, Bobby Moynihan, Luca Calvani, Keir O'Donnell, Kristen Schaal, Lee Pace, Judith Malina

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! I might almost have given this a yellow light, only because I know there are people, like my friend Stacy, who have less discriminating taste, and don't mind when a movie has glaring flaws, so long as it's cute. Thankfully, Stacy was with me at this screening, and she hated it. If Stacy doesn't like it, nobody will.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly after you leave the theater, and you challenge yourself to think of a single thing about it that made any logical sense. Not only were the coin tossers all men, they were all American men, who happened to be in Italy that day, and in New York two days later, with a psychic knowledge of Bell's name and whereabouts at any given time.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you cry at cliches, this movie is one... only without the tear-jerking parts.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm going to go ahead and give it a Razzie for the hair department. I don't know if they give Razzies for hair, but someone on that set thought it was a good idea to put Kristen Bell's hair in a pony tail at a fancy Italian wedding. Yeah, the kind of pony tail you wear to go jogging, or to brush your teeth.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kristen Bell acted like a girl who would turn away Josh Duhamel, so that probably took some heavy sense memory work. And Josh Duhamel acted like a wuss, who would come back to a fairly average girl like Bell, no matter how many different ways she rejected him and walked out on him. Since I'm pretty sure he's never experienced anything like that in his real life, I imagine he had to dig pretty deep to figure out what that might feel like, too.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: You almost feel sorry for the director on a piece like this, because where the script is lacking, he has to make it up. Like, for example, when the writers forget to put in the romance, the director has to make up for it with that old standby: the slow motion stare... "Oh," you will think to yourself, "They must be in love at first sight now!"

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It really would've been nice if there were even one single moment based in some kind of reality. One believable thing sprinkled in... Or maybe at least a joke once in while. Is that too much to ask?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/when-in-rome/33121/trailers

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Angels & Demons

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A Harvard symbologist, Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), is called upon to solve a mystery that will save Vatican City from exploding at midnight.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgard, Pierfrancesco Favino, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Thure Lindhardt,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's exactly like The Da Vinci Code, but with a different set of clues, leading to a different story about how the church has issues.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I laughed once, but I was the only one. It was very lonely.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There is one little, teeny-tiny tinge of emotion at the end. But as you know from the first one, this is more of an intellectual undertaking than an emotional one.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I can't see any reason for it. Nothing particularly stands out as being remarkable.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It's exactly like The Da Vinci Code but with a different set of dialogues, leading to a different book that Robert Langdon can write, Dan Brown can write about, we can read, and Hollywood can make a movie version of.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Lavish. I mean, not only does Ron Howard have two of every award, but this time, he got to film in the fake Sistine Chapel!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Exactly like The Da Vinci Code, but with a different set of bad guys, leading to a different set of surprise twists.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/angelsdemons/

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