Young Adult

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A Young Adult novelist, who used to be popular in high school (Charlize Theron) and hasn't evolved since then at all, returns to her home town 20 years later to try to nab her high school boyfriend (Patrick Wilson) who just had a baby with his wife (Elizabeth Reaser).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt, Patrick Wilson, Elizabeth Reaser, Collette Wolfe, Hettienne Park, Brian McElhane, Jill Eikenberry

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  While the dialogue reminds us why we fell in love with Diablo Cody, and the pacing reminds us why Jason Reitman's films so far have been 3 for 3, the story itself is fairly unimportant in every way possible.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  If you like dark and dry, this will have you laughing in that way that only dark and dry can-- silently, so that nobody can hear how f'd up you are.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Possibly at the sex scene at the end.  It is consensual and at the same time extremely sad.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  In yet another one-man show character story, Charlize is aiming at Oscar number two.  I'd nominate her.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Patrick Wilson, in a role that looks like nothing, is the one I was most impressed with.  There is a deceptive simplicity to his role, so don't be deceived.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  There's no question that Jason Reitman is one of the most significant rising directors of his generation.  That remains true in this, his least entertaining movie to date.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  The point of the script is that nobody cares about pretty girls anymore.  The problem with the script is that nobody cares about pretty girls anymore.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Young Adult Trailer

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Rampart

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A very dark cop (Woody Harrelson) gets involved in some dark cop business, and before long his life and his state of mind get even darker than the darkness they began in.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Woody Harrelson, Robin Wright, Sigourney Weaver, Brie Larson, Ben Foster, Ned Beatty, Cynthia Nixon, Anna Heche, Sammy Boyarski, Ice Cube, Steve Buscemi, Jon Bernthal, Stella Schnabel, Jon Foster, Robert Wisdom

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  It's just another character story with not much story-story to it, but there's no denying that this character is interesting-- at least so long as there's a screen standing between us, and keeping him at a safe distance away from my scorn.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  One guy talks about a barrel of monkeys, and monkeys are always funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  It's too cold for tears, but it could freeze your heart.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  Woody Harrelson is certainly in the running for the Oscar with this one-man-show of a film, and Oren Moverman has a good chance at an Indy Spirit Award for his directing.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Supporting Woody you'll find a plethora of A-level pros who never bomb, including Sigourney Weaver, Robin Wright, and Ben Foster.  You'll also find a breakout performance by the youthful Brie Larson.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Very hand-held and indy, but deliberate in an interesting and often original way.  Oren Moverman makes particularly daring choices when it comes to his high and low angles.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  There are moments of intrigue, but you sort of know the whole time that it's not really going to lead to anything, and after about an hour and a half, it starts to feel extraneous, and you start to feel like if you got up and left you wouldn't really miss anything.  You'd be right.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Rampart Trailer

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The Twilight Sage: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  Bella and Edward (Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson-- like you don't know) get married and defy all possibility when she gets pregnant from his demon seed, which threatens to kill her.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Gil Birmingham, Sarah Clarke, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Chaske Spencer, Kiowa Gordon, Julia Jones, Bronson Pelletier,  Alex Meraz, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chon, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Mia Meastro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mackenzie Foy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  This movie is very weird, and the only reason you should see it is if you're a Die-hard Twihard, and you're going to see it anyway.  According to this weekend's box-office, that description accounts for a butt-load of you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  Well it starts with a human marrying a vampire, followed by some teenie-porn, and finally concludes with what I'm pretty sure is a form of pedophilia between a half human-half werewolf and a half vampire-half baby, so yeah, it's just all very, very weird.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  "Everybody cries at weddings," one of Bella's cheesier lines, turns out to be kinda true.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  I'll tell you what it won't be up for, Make-up, special effects, screenplay, directing, cinematography... The clothes are pretty good-- mostly at the weddings.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Some of the lines are so bad, that I could actually hear the actors' inner struggle to get them out.  And that's why I have the utmost respect for these actors, especially Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, who have pauses and stares that make you keenly aware that this series could not have worked with anybody else in those roles.  Taylor Lautner still can't act.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Bill Condon is a great director, but there's no way to know that from watching this film.  Most disappointing for me are the warmer colors used in the cinematography, which are completely inconsistent with the look and tone of the first 3 movies in the series.  Even TV shows manage to look the same from week to week, and they sometimes have over 100 different episodes, using up to 50 different directors.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  It starts with a wedding and then  strains to have anything to talk about for the next two hours, proving why movies are supposed to end with weddings.  There is some very strange and illogical drama around the now-defunct love-triangle-- which no longer makes any sense because Bella has already made a firm decision-- at the wedding.   The author tries her damnedest to find reasons to keep Taylor Lautner involved, but they all ring false.  And then there's some drama about whether or not Bella will survive her pregnancy, which is also kind of spoiled by the fact that the title includes the phrase "Part 1."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

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Tower Heist

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  When a group of high-rise employees lose their pension to a Ponzi scheme that one of their tenants got them involved in, they hatch a plan to rob the money back from the white collar criminal.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Michael Pena, Gabourey Sidibe, Tea Leoni, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Nina Arianda, Marcia Jean Kurtz, Juan Carlos Hernandez,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Go!  It doesn't suck.  And at this point, that's good enough for me!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  It's more of a light-hearted heist movie than a comedy, so don't be surprised if you don't laugh as much as you would in another Ben Stiller comedy.  And by another Ben Stiller comedy, I mean Zoolander, because let's be honest, most of the rest of them aren't all that funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  There's one part where Alan Alda explains why he (as a rich man) matters more than they do (as average incomed people).  That's sad because rich people really think this way, and they're wrong.  The only time they matter anymore than the rest of us is when they're giving their money away for a good cause. 

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  No, but speaking of awards, don't you think it's interesting that after the Oscar Awards producer, Brett Ratner, who happens to be the director of this movie made a homophobic slur, that caused him to resign, which caused the host, Eddie Murphy, who happens to be the star of this movie, to drop out, that Brian Grazer, who happens to be the producer of this movie quickly stepped in to replace Brett Ratner as the Producer of the Oscars.  No one has mentioned this, but here's my analysis of why Brian Grazer suddenly decided that he had to take on this thankless job: P.R. emergency.   Grazer, who I'm assuming never really wanted the job of producing the Oscars, is taking a bullet for the team, so that this movie, and his company, Imagine, don't continue to get the bad rap that started when Vince Vaughn had a similar debacle due to what some called a "slur" in the trailer for The Dilemma, and has been followed up with a series of high-profile flops, including Cowboys & Aliens.  Tower Heist is the first Imagine movie in some time to make any money, and Grazer has no choice but to save its face, by tying a positive image to someone involved with the movie (himself).  The happiest news, though, is that he somehow landed the best Oscar host of all time, Billy Crystal.  And by "somehow," I'm sure I mean, "Paying him way more money than anyone has ever been offered to host the Oscars before." (Disclaimer: The above paragraph is all hearsay, made up by me...  But think about it.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Ben Stiller isn't annoying, even one single time.  Eddie Murphy is funny for the first time since Beverly Hills Cop II, and Michael Pena is quickly making his way to the top of my hilarious actors' list.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Everyone thinks Brett Ratner is a really funny guy, because he bangs all those chicks on Entourage and looks like an older Jonah Hill, but most of his movies are much more serious than you remember (see: The Family Man.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  The script had me wondering how they were gonna pull things off, and even sometimes thinking they were clever in the way they did it.  All that, while being simple enough to make screenwriting look easy-- which is one of the hardest things to do when you're writing a script.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Tower Heist Trailer

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A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Harold & Kumar (John Cho & Kal Penn) are no longer friends because Harold is married and has decided that Kumar's friendship is trouble.  Now Harold needs to find a 12 foot Christmas tree to appease his father-in-law (Danny Trejo), and Kumar still loves him enough to help him, despite the fact that Harold has become a stuck-up douchebag.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Kal Penn, John Cho, Danny Trejo, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, Paula Garces, Elias Koteas, Jordan Hinson, Patton Oswalt, Bobby Lee, Ashley Coss, Chloe Coss, Hannah Coss, RZA, Da'Vone McDonald, Yasen Peyankov, John Hoogenakker, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, Neil Patrick Harris, Daneel Ackles, Bennett Saltzman, Jake M. Johnson, Richard Riehle

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  It's wacky, but not in a clever way.  The most interesting thing is the weird ways in which they attempt to use the 3D psychedelically.  But I still hate 3D.  First it makes me dizzy, and then it puts me to sleep.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  The funniest parts are around a baby's first drug trips, so that's bound to be really unfunny to parents-- mostly because parents have no sense of humor about how kids do the darndest things!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Actually, it is sort of depressing at the beginning, when you see these two best friends who no longer talk.  Why do people who get married think they're so much better than those who don't?  Have they forgotten that over 50% of marriages end in divorce?  Do they think they're unsusceptible to that statistic?  Seriously married people, get off your high horses, and respect those people who were there for you when you were just a lonely loser, you may need them again sooner than you think.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Despite Your Highness's best efforts, this one takes the award for longest penis.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Even after his hiatus to work in the White House, Kal Penn has not forgotten how to act and be charming.  A few others start to break out in some of the miniscule roles, allowing you to picture them in bigger parts in future movies, including Jake Johnson of The New Girl, Bobby Lee of Mad TV, and Amir Blumenfeld of pretty much nothing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The 3D effects are noticeable, especially when you consider that Todd Strauss-Schluson is essentially a first time feature director.  Aside from those, it could have been directed by anybody.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  I just wish that Harold & Kumar had rekindled their friendship earlier on, because while the plot is clearly meant to be about the rekindling, the script is missing the love that used to be the reason Harold would put up with or go along with all of Kumar's hijinks.  Without the love, it's just one character annoying another, and that's not funny.  It's sad.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

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J. Edgar

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The history of J. Edgar Hoover (Leonardo DiCaprio) forming the FBI.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Leonardo DiCaprio, Armie Hammer, Naomi Watts, Judy Dench, Josh Lucas, Ed Westwick, Josh Hamilton, Jessica Hecht, Denis O'hare, Stephen Root, Damon Herriman

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Stop!  Technically this movie is stunning, but it has no hook, no stakes, and nothing that pulls you through it besides your deep-seeded love of J. Edgar Hoover-- a man who pretty much nobody loved.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  The guy behind me laughed awkwardly when Leonardo said, "I love you."  You never want that. He was right.  It was funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  It's sad that my favorite part of the movie was when they said J. Edgar was dead, because I figured the movie would be over soon.  It's sadder that the movie still went on for another 10 minutes after that.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  I usually don't like for awful movies to get any awards, but in this case it really deserves several, in particular for Cinematography, Make-up, and Leo's performance.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  From the first off-screen line, Leo blows your mind with his talent.  And because I like to say it first, I'm predicting him for the win, despite the terribleness of the movie and that false and hoaky moment when he says, "I love you." Armie Hammer will probably get nominated, too-- because he deserves it-- but he's not a sure thing for the win.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The visuals are superb across the board, but why this boring piece of... history had to be 2 hours and 17 minutes, I'll never know.  Then again, in history's defense, I'm sure this story was much more interesting than this movie makes it seem.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  If you haven't figured it out by now, I thought the script gave me a lot of time to think about all things I need to get done for the shoot I have tomorrow.  So that was good.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: J. Edgar Trailer

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Pariah

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A semi-closeted teenage African-American lesbian comes of age.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Adepero Oduye, Pernell Walker, Aasha Davis, Kim Wayans, Charles Parnell, Sahra Mellesse, Zabryna Guevara, Kim Sykes

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  You've seen one lesbian coming of age film, you've seen them all.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  I laughed in my head when I realized that I spent the first 10 minutes of the movie trying to decide whether the main characters were women or men.  It was a seriously heated debate in there!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Going in I thought this would be this year's Precious.  But it's like a Disney Channel movie in comparison, breaking almost no new ground... Except maybe uncovering how women make themselves look like men.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won Cinematography at Sundance, which is especially surprising when you consider that all the out of focus shots were the one thing in this film that kept me annoyed throughout... Then again, most of what Sundance likes tends to annoy me, so I don't really know why I'm surprised.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  It is good to see Kim Wayans-- and in a dramatic role, no less!  I worked with her on a sit-com, back in the day, and I always thought she was one of the most under-rated talents I had ever come across.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The odd choices about where to center the focus in many shots is clearly deliberate and artistic, but it doesn't work.  It's distracting and looks like a mistake.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  For a film getting so much attention, it's surprising how little feels original about it.  I mean, who hasn't already seen at least one movie where the Black husband is a cheater, the teenage girl hates her mother, and the mother is a homophobe?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A:  Warning: despite the scary title, this is NOT a horror film or a video game.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Pariah Trailer

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Son of No One

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  Told between flashbacks to 1986 and present day 2002, a boy, who is now a cop (Channing Tatum) must deal with the on-going repercussions of having accidentally murdered 2 people in the tenement he grew up in.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Channing Tatum, Jake Cherry, Al Pacino, James Ransone, Brian Gilbert, Ray Liotta, Katie Holmes, Tracy Morgan, Juliette Binoche, Lemon Anderson, Ursula Parker, Simone Jones, Peter Tambakis, Karen Christie-Ward, Decorte Snipes, Marilyn dobrin, Johnnie Mae, Roger Guenveur Smith, Michael Rivera

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Stop!  Either everyone in my audience was an idiot or the film didn't make any sense.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The funniest part to me were the multiple conversations in the bathroom afterwards as people tried to figure out what they just saw.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Sure, maybe if you use the time to think about something sad.  Like a clown.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  Ursula Parker, a young blonde child, who looks like a cross between a young Elle and Dakota Fanning, will likely win All the Roles the Fanning Girls have Grown Too Old to Play.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Tracy Morgan will surprise you in this dramatic role-- mostly in that he can do it at all.  Al Pacino is strong and charismatic, despite the fact that his character motivations in pretty much all of his scenes are both unclear and illogical.  And Katie Holmes will impress you with the fact that she's not totally lame. 

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Just about the same as in Dito Montiel's previous film, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  The whole story revolves around the mystique of figuring out who the mystery person is who is writing notes in 2002 about the forgotten murders of 1986, and all you can think is, "Who could possibly care about the 16 year old murder of two insane drug addicts who left no loved ones behind?'  Then at the end you find out, and you still don't care.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Son of No One

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The Descendants

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  A man's wife goes into a coma, and that's when he (George Clooney) finds out she was cheating on him. 

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Nick Krause, Amara Miller, Robert Forster, Beau Bridges, Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  It's called The Descendants but it should have been called, "Come Visit My Dead Wife in the Hospital," because that's the majority of what happens in the movie.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  Yes, but not as much as you have in past Alexander Payne films.  So don't go in expecting Election or Sideways.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Right when I thought I couldn't care less, Judy Greer had me holding back tears so I wouldn't embarrass myself by crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  There is buzz, but most of it is from before anyone saw the movie.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  I don't like George Clooney as an actor, he just doesn't jump off the screen.  But the 3 kids are amazing!  I predict much work in the future for Amara Miller, Nick Krause, and Shailene Woodley-- who just today came out as one of Hollywood Reporter's 35 power people under 35.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Alexander Payne goes to great lengths to show us the ugly underbelly of the West-Coast's favorite vacation spot, Hawaii.  If this was supposed to draw tourism to the area (which is Hawaii's #1  industry), then I'm sorry to say that I'll soon be checking out Tahiti.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  There is some interesting dialogue here and there, especially out of the mouths of babes, but the story of the land buyout isn't executed in a compelling manner, and the dying wife starts to feel like she's not even there.  Sometimes, in the midst of all the characters' depression, I couldn't even remember what they were so depressed about.  Maybe it would've been different if we'd gotten to know the wife a little bit before the coma.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A:  People dress funny in Hawaii.  I guess the cost of getting a fashion magazine across all that ocean is just too high.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Descendants Trailer

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