Amazon Holiday

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Twilight Sage: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

Q: What’s the movie about?

A:  Bella and Edward (Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson-- like you don't know) get married and defy all possibility when she gets pregnant from his demon seed, which threatens to kill her.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Gil Birmingham, Sarah Clarke, Booboo Stewart, Alex Rice, Chaske Spencer, Kiowa Gordon, Julia Jones, Bronson Pelletier,  Alex Meraz, Anna Kendrick, Christian Serratos, Justin Chon, Michael Welch, Michael Sheen, Mia Meastro, Maggie Grace, MyAnna Buring, Casey LaBow, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Camargo, Mackenzie Foy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  PhotobucketProceed with Caution.  This movie is very weird, and the only reason you should see it is if you're a Die-hard Twihard, and you're going to see it anyway.  According to this weekend's box-office, that description accounts for a butt-load of you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  Well it starts with a human marrying a vampire, followed by some teenie-porn, and finally concludes with what I'm pretty sure is a form of pedophilia between a half human-half werewolf and a half vampire-half baby, so yeah, it's just all very, very weird.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  "Everybody cries at weddings," one of Bella's cheesier lines, turns out to be kinda true.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A:  I'll tell you what it won't be up for, Make-up, special effects, screenplay, directing, cinematography... The clothes are pretty good-- mostly at the weddings.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Some of the lines are so bad, that I could actually hear the actors' inner struggle to get them out.  And that's why I have the utmost respect for these actors, especially Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, who have pauses and stares that make you keenly aware that this series could not have worked with anybody else in those roles.  Taylor Lautner still can't act.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  Bill Condon is a great director, but there's no way to know that from watching this film.  Most disappointing for me are the warmer colors used in the cinematography, which are completely inconsistent with the look and tone of the first 3 movies in the series.  Even TV shows manage to look the same from week to week, and they sometimes have over 100 different episodes, using up to 50 different directors.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  It starts with a wedding and then  strains to have anything to talk about for the next two hours, proving why movies are supposed to end with weddings.  There is some very strange and illogical drama around the now-defunct love-triangle-- which no longer makes any sense because Bella has already made a firm decision-- at the wedding.   The author tries her damnedest to find reasons to keep Taylor Lautner involved, but they all ring false.  And then there's some drama about whether or not Bella will survive her pregnancy, which is also kind of spoiled by the fact that the title includes the phrase "Part 1."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

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