Transformers: Dark of the Moon

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Some big alien robots fight other alien robots; audience loses.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Rosie Huntington Whiteley, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Bill O'Reilly

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Even if you're a fan of this film trilogy, or the old animated show, or Michael Bay or... uh, anyway, seriously, you have to be missing your entire brain to enjoy this mess. The answer to this question has never been more definitive: no.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Based on the weird performances of LaBeouf, Turturro, Malkovich and McDormand I'm going to guess that the movie is supposed to be funny. Instead, it's just sad.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You'll be too bored to cry. And besides, for this movie to elicit any emotion in you would be giving it way too much credit.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Boring Film Ever Made In The History of Cinema. This plastic bag filled with my friend Roy's dog's poop goes to: Transformers: Dark of the Moon. (Even the title is dumb.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: For John Malkovich this is just another weird performance. Unfortunately his weird performances don't have the same effect in a non-weird movie. But if you've ever wondered what it would look like if a gigantic yellow robot tickled John Malkovich and made him squirm with laughter, then at least you'll get that. (Yes I said 'tickled' and that's exactly what happens.) Otherwise, use the image of that scene as a microcosm for how horrible and ill-conceived this atrocity is. And while we're here, everyone else in this movie is bad.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: In the grand tradition of proving he can direct action, robots, clones and Ben Affleck, Michael Bay scores again with the massive action set-pieces here. Where he doesn't score is in achieving a cohesive tone. Is this supposed to be silly? Serious? Funny? Romantic? Please discuss below, because I'd really like to know... On second thought, I don't actually care.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Watching this movie reminded me of when my parents took me to church every Sunday: I was bored and spent much of the time fantasizing about when it would end. It is not only boring, it's also incredibly annoying and grating. And heck, at least church was never two hours and forty minutes long! Maybe this has nothing to do with the story/script... but probably it has everything to do with it.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Transformers: Dark of the Moon Trailer

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X-Men: First Class

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Before they were X-Men, they were X-boys and girls. This is the story of how they found each other, developed their powers, and chose sides.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne, Nicholas Hoult, January Jones, Oliver Platt, Zoe Kravitz, Caleb Landry Jones, Lucas Till, Edi Gathegi, Alex Gonzalez, Jason Flemyng, Matt Craven, Laurence Belcher, Bill Milner, Demitri Goritsas, Glenn Morshower

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! In the world of superheroes, the story of how they became who they are is always going to be the most interesting part. And that goes for stories about regular people, too.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a lot that's light-hearted and fun, but none of it will really make you laugh.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The ending is really sad, because it has to leave us off where the original films begin. But it's also kind of exciting because we knew they had to get there. Kind of like the end of Revenge of the Sith.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I give it the Award for not using 3D! I guess when you have a good story, you don't have to rely on gimmicks to get the audiences interested.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The most emotional performance is Mystique's morphing. Can we give acting accolades to the special effects department?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: With Stardust, Kick-Ass and this, Matthew Vaughn can add another to his quickly growing list of films that I've given green lights. Except that I only gave Stardust a green light in my mind, because it came out a few months before I developed my mutant super power of giving out lights.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I enjoyed how they incorporated the story of mutant superheroes into the actually history of WWII and the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's especially great because now, when we want to confuse our children about where the line is between history and fiction, we no longer have to rely solely on the 24 hour news networks.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: X-Men: First Class Trailer

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Little Fockers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Part 3 of the Meet the Parents franchise introduces the idea of passing the head-of-family baton, as Jack Byrnes' (Robert De Niro) health is threatened, and he takes it upon himself to figure out if Greg/Gaylord Focker (Ben Stiller) has what it takes to be the new GodFocker.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson, Teri Polo, Jessica Alba, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbara Streisand, Daisy Tahan, Colin Baiocchi, Laura Dern, Kevin Hart, Tom McCarthy, Harvey Keitel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The best thing I can say about this movie is that it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. So, if you're into this series, definitely give it a whirl.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you'll laugh at just about anything.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I imagine that if you are into this series, you're looking for an easy laugh because your real life is making you cry just about as much as you can handle.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Ensemble cast most likely to get my mother to see a movie that she would never have any interest in seeing. Award goes to De Niro, Hoffman, and Streisand, for making up a cast list that might fool the undiscerning eye into thinking this will be a serious movie for grown ups.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The only thing Ben Stiller's character has in common with the guy he played in the first Meet the Parents is his face. The character, who used to be insecure and concerned about pleasing, is suddenly confident and in control. But I'm not sure you're allowed to change your characters in ways that real humans are incapable of changing, just because 10 years have gone by since the first movie. Do the filmmakers think we've forgotten what he's supposed to be like? If anything, it's they who have forgotten-- about the advent of DVD, and repeats of old movies on TV, which make it possible for us to have seen the original as recently as this morning. Owen Wilson's character, has also gone through a complete metamorphosis since the first movie. Which is mostly surprising because Owen Wilson really only has one character in his toolbox.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Considering Paul Weitz's amazing track record casting unknown, young actors in such movies as American Pie and About a Boy, I would've expected him to find more interesting kids to play the little Fockers.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The premise is thin, forced and played out, but within that, the writers manage keep it moving and even insert a few laughable jokes here and there... The funniest of which is the complete character shifts for Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. Well, at least Robert De Niro is still the same one note guy!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Little Fockers Trailer

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Salt

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A secret agent (Angelina Jolie) is accused of being a Russian spy working as a mole in the CIA and must go on the run to prove her innocence.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Daniel Olbrychski, August Diehl, Daniel Pearce, Hunt Block, Andre Braugher

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Salt is serviceable summertime action fare that doesn't exceed expectations nor fall below them. You've probably seen most of it before, and it's pretty illogical, but it at least it zips along. And hey, it's a decent way to cool off for 100 minutes if the hot summer sun is wearing you down.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If watching the heroine survive unbelievable stunt after unbelievable stunt with nary a scratch makes you guffaw, then you will be rolling in the aisles. Otherwise... no.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If watching the heroine survive unbelievable stunt after unbelievable stunt with nary a scratch makes you cry, then your seat will be soaked from the waterworks. Otherwise... no.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Watching of a Heroine Surviving Unbelievable Stunt after Unbelievable Stunt, and Getting Out with Nary a Scratch. Do you get what this movie is about yet?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Angelina Jolie gets credit for being one of the very few American actresses who can pull off this type of action-y ridiculousness and not come across as completely ridiculous. And she even has a few moments that will remind you of what a fine dramatic actress she is as she conveys her double-spy loyalties with a quiver of her lips and a watery eye. Makes you wish she was doing Wanted Part 2 instead of this though.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Phillip Noyce can bring it, but Salt is not his finest hour. The action sequences are disjointed and much of the editing makes it look as if the latter part of the stunt didn't really work so they just cut to the result creating a jarring effect that leaves the viewer confused.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It doesn't make a lot of sense. But if you like watching Angelina Jolie run around, blow stuff up, and shoot people, then you probably won't care all that much. Doesn't seem like the screenwriter did.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/salt/37107/trailers

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Killers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After marrying the perfect man (Ashton Kutcher), a woman (Katherine Heigl) finds out that he is actually an assassin working for the CIA.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Selleck, Catherine O'Hara, Katheryn Winnick, Kevin Sussman, Lisa Ann Walters, Casey Wilson, Rob Riggle, Martin Mull, Alex Borstein, Usher Raymond

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the film, but it's still really fun to stare at Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl under perfect lighting in picture perfect locations for an hour and a half.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I have to say, Ashton Kutcher has a moment so awkward and subtle, I almost thought I was watching Michael Cera for a second. Then I realized I was a little turned on, so I knew it couldn't be Cera.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It makes me sad that I'm so attracted to Ashton Kutcher despite the fact that I am repulsed by his personality on Punk'd, Twitter, and radio interviews. But I guess everybody needs a guilty pleasure.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Tom Selleck is in it, so it's a gimme for Best Mustache. Unfortunately, that category is like the Emmy Awards, the same people win every year.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Katherine Heigl's character has a wonderful kind of quirk I'd never quite seen before. It was obviously the writing, but I still think she gets credit for pulling off some of the more difficult moments... Like finding out your husband is an assassin and going right along with it when he tells you to shoot someone in the head, despite the fact that you've never held a gun before. And Catherine O'Hara is the new Jane Lynch.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Somehow this film's look reminded me of a colored version of a 1940s movie. Maybe it was Katherine Heigl's hair. Or maybe the lighting. Or maybe it's that Robert Luketic directed Legally Blonde, and therefore he can do no wrong in my eyes.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Despite the cute dialogue and the fun tone, there's something about the story that doesn't push it over the top into "this is a great movie" territory. Maybe because the love affair happens so easily. Or maybe because she doesn't find out he's a killer until half way through the film. Or maybe because there isn't even that much tension when she does. Sure, she freaks out for a second, but you never get to doubt that her love will overcome her anger and fear. Yes, that's it! At all junctures, what's missing is tension. Except for the part where everyone everywhere is trying to kill them, that's sort of stressful.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/killers/36838/trailers

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The Ghost Writer

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Ewan McGregor) hired to ghost write a memoir for a controversial politician (Pierce Brosnan) gets caught up in a political plot that could potentially lead to his death.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Kim Cattrall, Olivia Williams, Tom Wilkinson, Robert Pugh, Jon Bernthal, Timothy Hutton, James Belushi, Eli Wallach

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This thriller doesn't genuinely scare you because you're never quite sure what's going on. My opinion is that-- at least by the time it's over-- a thriller should make you feel smart.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is so subtle, that the wife of the politician had to point out that the ghost writer was funny, before I even noticed that he'd been cracking jokes.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: From the architecture to the weather, it's cold and emotionless.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most exciting Behind the Scenes intrigue... you know what I'm talking about.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: You know that Ewan, Pierce, and Tom Wilkinson are always great so let's talk about Jon Bernthal, who stands out as someone to watch, even in this relatively small and standard role, as the writer's agent. James Belushi shows us that when you shave his head bald, he instantly transforms from comedic patriarch to serious dramatic actor. And Kim Cattrall, unfortunately, proves to have a limited range, both in acting and in accents.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Clearly comfortable in his skin, Roman Polanski doesn't showboat much in this piece, except for the last shot of the movie, which is the stuff that future film class history will be made of.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: You know something is wrong with the story when you notice the score building to something scary, and you find yourself looking around the screen wondering, "What am I supposed to be getting nervous about right now?" Ultimately, the political plot line is too complicated and hard to follow (especially in so much as people's motives are concerned), and the pay off doesn't make you feel like there was anything all that interesting to figure out in the first place.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Here are some questions for those of you who have seen it: What was the manuscript the lawyer gives Ewan at the beginning, and what was the significance of that in the movie? When he's at the Ferry motel, why does Ewan decide to trust Robert Rycart? Why does he write down the information he has figured out, and pass it in a note to the person it concerns? What was the very end conclusion trying to say? (I mean, beside the obvious action that occurs.) Why did that occur and what was the greater meaning of it?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-ghost-writer/32030/trailers

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Traitor

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Samir Horn (Don Cheadle) is definitely a traitor. But is he a traitor to the United States or to the terrorists?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Jeff Daniels, Neal McDonough, Said Taghmaoui, Archie Panjabi, Aly Khan, Alexandra Castillo, Raad Rawi, Lorena Gale

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Even when you think you know whose side he's on, you don't. This double-agent, spy thriller will keep you constantly second guessing yourself.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is one good laugh, well into the third act, and it's really a strange thing to laugh at.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Maybe if you're a religious extremist.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's certainly that kind of a film.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Don Cheadle hits all the right levels as he carefully navigates the line between innocent and guilty, never quite giving away which category he falls into.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Jeffrey Nachmanoff's camera constantly moves in exciting ways, often showcasing original angles, all without distracting you from the story line.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It starts out like a run of the mill terrorist movie, but it steadily ramps up with every frame, becoming constantly more suspenseful as it draws to an end that actually has a point.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Even as the movie jumps from location to location, the editing is seamless. And the second-unit aerial shots of Chicago make you want to go there more than any other Chicago-based movie I've seen.

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