Amazon Holiday

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Adjustment Bureau


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a politician (Matt Damon) finds out about a secret society that keeps everyone's destiny on track, he is forced to choose between a successful career and true love.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, Terence Stamp, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, Anthony Ruivivar

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! Not since Titanic has a film so successfully merged high action for the dudes with high romance for the ladies. And just for good measure, The Adjustment Bureau also throws in religious innuendo, to make sure there is no demographic left behind.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is quirky and unexpected, and exists primarily to demonstrate why these two people are so strangely perfect for each other.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If the premise of this movie is true, and we really have no say over the direction of our lives, that would be enough to throw even the strongest of us into a good cry. Thankfully, we humans are too willful to ever choose to believe in the lack of free will. So who cares if we have it or not!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's a good thing that Woody Allen has quit filming in New York, because this year would have been a big loss for him in the "I NY" category.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I would be curious to know if Emily Blunt does her own dancing, because if she does, I'm very impressed. And if she doesn't, I'm still impressed by the seamless special effects that would've had to have been used to make it look so convincingly like she's doing it all herself in the full body shots.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: First time director, George Nolfi, shot 90 locations around New York in 60 days. If you know anything about film-making, you too are inwardly saying, "Wow."

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It all holds together, except for one annoyingly unexplained Hollywood moment in the end. It's slight, and can be easily over-looked, if you accept what comes immediately after it.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: This is the kind of film that will be remade in 20 years. See it now, so that when the new version comes out, staring some "it" kid who's not even born yet, you can talk about how great the original was, and how they shouldn't even try to live up to it.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Adjustment Bureau Trailer

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Take Me Home Tonight


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: In this wannabe John Hughes movie, which takes place in the 80s for no apparent reason, besides that it wants to be a John Hughes movie, a recent college grad (Topher Grace), who has lost his way, goes to a party to try to hook up with his high school crush (Teresa Palmer).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Topher Grace, Teresa Palmer, Dan Fogel, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Michelle Trachtenberg, Lucy Punch, Michael Biehn, Angie Everhart, Nathalie Kelley, Michael Ian Black, Robert Hoffman, Candace Kroslak, Seth Gabel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. We all wanna be John Hughes, but we’re not.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Just as stories of parents reconnecting with their children always make me cry, dance sequences always make me laugh. And based on my experience with this movie, they don’t even have to be that good.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not in the slightest, but one of the crying scenes is one of the biggest laughs.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: 2nd Best 80s movie I’ve seen in the past year. Hot Tub Time Machine is better, but the fact that there are two 80s movies in one year is still really impressive.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I love Topher Grace. I would marry him. But I never bought the premise that he was ever a nerd. Even in high school. I also love Anna Faris. And while I wouldn’t marry her, (mostly because it’s still vaguely illegal), I really wish she would put less collagen in her lips because it distracts me from her beautiful acting.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The whole movie is trying way too hard to be That 80's Party Movie. And when people try too hard, sometimes all you see is how hard they're trying.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It’s like Sixteen Candles, but instead of a girl pining over a guy, it’s a guy pining over a girl, and instead of taking place in high school, it takes place after college, in a world where college grads still care what the people from high school think of them.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The parts are better than the whole, but ultimately, most of the parts seems like an excuse for the 80s soundtrack.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Take Me Home Tonight Trailer

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Monday, February 28, 2011

Hall Pass


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A couple of married men (Owen Wilson & Jason Sudeikis) get a week off from their marriages to do whatever they want.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Nicky Whelan, Richard Jenkins, Stephen Merchant, Larry Joe Campbell, J.B. Smoove, Bruce Thomas, Tyler Hoechlin, Alexandra Daddario, Derek Waters, Rob Moran, Lauren Bowles, Joy Behar, Kristin Carey, Alyssa Milano, Andrew Wilson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. I really could have liked it if it didn't make me feel so depressed about both monogamy and old age-- and by "old age," I mean 30s and 40s. Thank you, Hollywood!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is this penis...

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There's this other penis...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: There are those penises...

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I miss thinking that Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis are either cute or funny...

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The hardest part about judging a directing team is that I'll never know which one of the Farrellys came up with the explosive fart splattering on the wall scene. I guess that's how they protect themselves from having to admit that at the respective ages of 52 and 54, their humor hasn't evolved at all since they were respectively 12 and 14. Hey, if I put that joke on film, I'd point the finger at the other guy, too.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Congratulations to all four of them for getting this impossible hypothetical fantasy made.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Hall Pass Trailer

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Carbon Nation


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: It bills itself as a movie that bypasses the politics of global warming to focus on the solutions. Only problem with that is it doesn’t address all those people who—politically-- believe that global warming doesn’t exist.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: A bunch of entrepreneurs and engineers who have realized that being on the cutting edge of going green is a great way to get some green. And in their defense, they’re also creating a lot of jobs for other people with the money they’re making.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The solutions to getting us off our oil addiction are inspiring, the presentation of them is dull, dull, dull.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It wants to be witty, but they needed better writers to hit the levels they seem to be aiming at. They probably hired someone who was willing to work for free.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, we’re finally getting some answers to the problems. It’ll make you jump for joy!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Many of the people featured in this will win Science and Peace Awards (if they haven’t already). They are innovating, and using their noggins to save the Earth, prevent wars, create jobs, and get rich doing it.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Let’s just say it like it is: smart people are boring.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are some cute animations, and while they’ll help your understanding of what the movie is talking about, they won’t necessarily entertain you…

Q: How is the story/script?

A: …And you still won’t even understand most of it. But I'm consoling myself with the fact that they know what they're talking about, because it's always good when somebody does.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Since most of you will never see this, and I still want you to know the solutions, I made a partial list of the options (from memory, so I'm probably missing some), in case you want to make lots of money getting in on the ground floor with any of them:
Wind farms, solar paneling, insulation, recycling your old non-energy-saver fridge, inventing a super powerful battery so that electricity can replace oil, using hot springs to create energy (don’t ask me how), organic farming of meat and land—you see organically farmed soil sucks the excess CO2 back into the earth and out of the atmosphere with the byproduct of creating better soil for healthier foods, take one day off eating meat per week, AND stop burning down the forests.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Carbon Nation Trailer

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Monday, February 21, 2011

Cold Weather


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a guy's (Cris Lankenau) ex-girlfriend (Robyn Rikoon) disappears, at first he doesn't care, but then he realizes that this is his opportunity to practice being a Sherlock Holmes-style detective.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Cris Lankenau, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Raul Castillo, Robyn Rikoon

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The pace is very slow, and the amount of time the characters spend not talking often seems artificial, but the movie is cute at other times, and it's definitely an approach to a detective story that I'd never seen before.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I laughed on the inside at how hard it was for me to figure out if the brother and sister were dating, or if they were really brother and sister. You could cut the unintentional sexual tension between them with a knife.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: When they named this film Cold Weather, I think they were just referring to the protagonists primary character trait.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It takes place in Portland, Oregon, so-- Most Rain?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Populated entirely with unknown actors, it's surprising that three of the four main characters had me wondering how else I would cast them in Hollywood fare and what kinds of roles I could see them playing in the future. That's a very good sign for those actors. Not such a great sign for the movie, in which I found so much extra time to think about other things, like the future success of these actors.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: While the shots themselves are unremarkable, the pace of the shots, and the length of the shots are noticeably trying too hard to be interesting. This, to me, is pretentious. The cinematography is flattering, though, and the above mentioned 3 actors are all made to look very attractive.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: My sense is that the script was a little too short, thus causing all the shots to have to be drawn out to unnecessary proportions, for the purpose of making the film long enough to qualify as a feature film. Since the writer is the director, he has only himself to blame.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Cold Weather Trailer

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Friday, February 18, 2011

Unknown


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After an accident that causes a concussion, a man (Liam Neeson) has to prove that he really is the person he claims to be, without any verifying identification.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn, Bruno Ganz, Frank Langella, Sebastian Koch, Olivier Schneider, Stipe Erceg, Rainer Bock, Mido Hamada, Clint Dyer

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Not enough action. Not enough intrigue. No final "Ah-ha" moment to be felt when all is said and done.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I think it's funny that the simple act of casting Frank Langella in a role gives away the fact that the character is gonna be a bad-guy, even when there's nothing in the action that would indicate that we should be suspicious of him.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It makes me sad that there are articles in the Hollywood Reporter that are already discussing whether or not there should be a sequel. I'll tell you what, make a great movie first! Something I might want to see the continuation of. Then we can talk about sequels, you greedy bastards.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Unconvincing Love Story: Lifetime Achievement Award. It's the worst developed romantic conclusion I can recall in my lifetime, anyway.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I have a hard time buying Liam Neeson as an American. Maybe because his name is Liam?... Nah, it's that pesky British accent, when he talks.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This is the closest I've ever come to going to Berlin, and even as someone who loves to travel, I can honestly say that I have no desire to ever go back... Unless, of course, it's because someone is forcing me to go on a date with that hunky Sebastian Koch.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: To plagiarize someone I don't know, who was exiting the theater at the same time as me, "It ain't no Bourne Identity!" Then again, for all I know, he was coming out of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Unknown Trailer

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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Just Go With It


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A guy who pretends to be married to get girls (Adam Sandler) meets a woman he actually likes (Brooklyn Decker), and is forced to prove that he's getting divorced from his fake wife (Jennifer Aniston).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Nick Swardson, Bailee Madison, Griffin Gluck, Nicole Kidman, Dave Matthews, Kevin Nealon, Rachel Dratch, Allen Covert, Dan Patrick, Minka Kelly

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The leads have amazing chemistry and we really believe all the reasons they need to end up together, but the set-up and the make-up are laughable.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: In the most random of places, hidden amongst the standard Sandler fare, are a few subtle clever moments that may induce laughter. What won't make you laugh is the standard Sandler fare, and everything Nick Swardson does.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but Dave Matthews does a thing with his ass that I can never unsee.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Title I'm Most Likely Not to be able to Recall in 2 Months, when Someone Asks Me What this Movie was Called.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jennifer Aniston blew my socks off in this role. Her comic timing is not a fluke. Nor, I might add, is that of Nicole Kidman, who really needs to do more funny roles, like this.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Dennis Dugan directs almost all of Adam Sandler's films. And yet, with all that experience, his style never seems to improve.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's patchy. It has good parts, surrounded by tons of missed potential. But I personally love the message about why it's worthwhile to date women your own age.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Off the top of my head, here are some better titles than Just Go With It:
--My Wife Wants Me to Marry You
--Everybody Lies
--Shooting a Movie is a Very Good Excuse to Go to Hawaii, Even When the Excuse Used to Get the Characters there is Ridiculously Unbelievable.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Just Go With It Trailer

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Happythankyoumoreplease


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A twenty-something slacker (Josh Radnor) finds a lost kid (Michael Algieri) on the subway, takes him home, and separately, all his friends fall in love.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Josh Radnor, Malin Akerman, Michael Algieri, Zoe Kazan, Kate Mara, Pablo Schreiber, Tony Hale, Peter Scanavino, Richard Jenkins

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. It's one of those sweet and slightly quirky indy darlings that's easy to love because it pretends to be edgy, without actually being deep or angry enough to turn any viewers off.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are some legitimately quirky moments of dialogue.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you believe in love it might, because men will say absolutely anything to get laid, and they won't mean any of it in the morning.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the Audience Award at Sundance, so obviously it's better than I think it is. Or maybe, when people are at Sundance, they get caught in a storm of pretentious movie mediocrity, and in order to survive, grow a pair of "Sundance Goggles," where they become so intoxicated by the energy of being in the same room as bigwigs and pretending they can afford to be there, that suddenly, really average movies starts to look like models.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Josh Radnor demonstrates why he is the star of a hit sitcom. Malin Akerman is one of my favorites in everything, and Zoe Kazan is as interesting an actress as Kate Mara is bland.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: If Josh Radnor did one thing right, it was to cast only men who are less attractive than he is, making himself look comparatively studly... Oh, and he also proves that Zack Braff isn't the only schlubby, neurotic sitcom lead who can direct a decent indy film about aimless twenty-somethings trying not to get their hearts broken.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The dialogue is cute enough to trick you into thinking Josh Radnor writes his own words on How I Met Your Mother, but the romantic storylines feel like they've been done in every indy rom-com ever made. The one saving grace is the story about taking home a stray kid, but that ends up feeling secondary to the romance, and ultimately, the kid doesn't really cause the guy who takes him in to change in a memorable way.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Many of you will love the indy soundtrack, easily sampled in the trailer.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Happythankyoumoreplease Trailer

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Friday, February 11, 2011

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Documentary and concert film about the mind-boggling rise to fame of teen sensation, Justin Bieber... Or as my Dad calls him, Justin Bieller.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Justin Bieber, his mom, dad, childhood friends and neighbors, his team, Scooter Braun, Usher, L.A. Reid, Boyz II Men, Miley Cyrus, Jaden Smith, Sean Kingston, Ludacris, and JB's kick-ass backup dancers!

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! I went to this because I was desperate to figure out why Justin Bieber is such a big deal. His songs are lame, his voice sounds like any given child who can hold a tune. Yes, he's very cute, and he has AMAZING hair, I'll give him that. Well, folks, I think I finally get it. While his voice couldn't be more boring sounding on most of the songs he's known for, in his original YouTube viral video (the Chris Brown cover), he actually demonstrates some pretty fancy vocal stylings (for a kid). But most importantly, because he came up through the internet and not the radio, each and every one of his fans deeply believes that she personally discovered him. That makes him feel accessible, like a real person, that she actually could marry-- which, of course, is the only thing any of his fans really want from him.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a lot of funny stuff, from the hair flipping montage, to the montage of girls crying.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: More than once. For me the first bout came in the first ten minutes, from my usual trigger: a parent getting emotional over how impressed they are by their child. The second bout came from all the girls crying... But that might have just been because I was laughing so hard.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Award to Justin Bieber for becoming an icon singer without having a single good song.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It turns out that Bieber's songs aren't that bad when they're sung by Boyz II Men, Usher, and even Miley Cyrus. And everyone in the film is also really good at acting like Justin Bieber has a voice worth paying attention to.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: When the stage fireworks went off in 3D, my Dad (who I coaxed into seeing this with me, mostly just to see if I could) said, "I've gotta get some of those for when I argue my case in front of the Supreme Court." Hey, the director must've done something right to make my Dad think that was a good idea.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As my Dad pointed out, he liked it because it was all about the joy of the music and not at all about money. "Although," he added, "You can't help but think about how much money they're all making."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D Trailer

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Friday, February 4, 2011

Biutiful


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A black-market-goods ringleader (Javier Bardem), who also has the ability to talk to the dead, finds out that he's dying of cancer, and has to figure out what to do about his 2 kids, who he doesn't want to leave to his crazy, bipolar, slut of an ex-wife.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Javier Bardem, Maricel Alvarez, Hanaa Bouchaib, Guillermo Estrella, Eduard Fernandez, Cheikh Ndiaye, Diaryatou Daff, Taisheng Cheng, Luo Jin

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. As I left the theater, I heard everyone saying the same thing, "That movie was very long!" And then there was that guy who said, "I feel like I just got punched in the gut."

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The main actress decided it would be an enjoyable character trait for us if she made herself a snorter when she laughs...

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: ...And when she cries. Which between her manic states and her depressive states, ends up being most of the time she talks. It gets pretty gross. Then again, it's one of the least gross things in the film.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's up for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. And after all my bashing of it, you're probably starting to wonder why. Well, despite being incredibly long and bleak, it's actually a very beautiful film that examines sides of life, death, and the guys selling illegal merchandise in the streets, that you may not have given much deep thought to before.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Javier Bardem is also up for an Oscar for his performance. It's a good performance because he's Javier Bardem, but he wouldn't have gotten the nomination for this if he weren't Javier Bardem. Maricel Alvarez (the snorter), is also pretty amazing, especially when you consider that she has tears in her eyes for almost every scene. But her character is pretty despicable.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu chooses interesting and unpredictable views from where to depict the actors' emotions. But it's also his fault that the majority of the audience left complaining about the length of the film , instead of the emotional impact it had on them. (2 1/2 hours + previews = sitting on your ass for almost 3 hours-- this is why directors need to study math in school.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Right when things start to get really bad, everything gets worse.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Biutiful Trailer

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cedar Rapids


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A severely sheltered insurance salesman (Ed Helms) from a very small town in Wisconsin goes to the annual insurance convention in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and grows a pair of balls.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, Anne Heche, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Stephen Root, Kurtwood Smith, Alia Shawkat, Sigourney Weaver, Mike O'Malley, Rob Corddry, Thomas Lennon

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketGo! This film, about the happenings at a convention, is somehow unconventional. This isn't completely surprising, since it's produced by Ad Hominem, i.e. Alexander Payne, the director who brought us Citizen Ruth, Election, and Sideways. So keep that in mind, if you want to fully appreciate the quirky brand of broad humor this is going for.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There are plenty of good jokes. Though I haven't heard the word "awesome" used so much for a cheap laugh since Chris Farley died.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's kind of a non-stop party, and nobody cries at parties. Especially not when they're hopped up on drugs, alcohol and hookers, like the fine folks in this movie.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Amazing Cougar of the Year Award goes to Sigourney Weaver's character who is a lover, a mother, a grade school teacher, and mentor, all rolled into one very secure package.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: John C. Reilly resurrects himself from a slew of depressing roles, to finally bring us something fun again. Ed Helms continues to clearly define his niche for us. And Anne Heche is so funny that I thought she was some quirky new comedienne, who I was about to let you all into the know about, until the end credits came up, at which point I realized that there must be two actresses named Anne Heche.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It looks like a little, low budget indy comedy by a first time director. Miguel Arteta, of course, has been directing little, low budget indy comedies since the 90s. Normally I would knock the lack of improvement over a director's career, but in this case, I think the glossy-less-ness actually makes the jokes seem funnier.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's directionless, meandering, and even predictable, yet it manages to stay fun and keep you engaged. Kind of like Superbad and The Hangover.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Cedar Rapids Trailer

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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Illusionist


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A failing Parisian Illusionist travels to Scotland to find work and accidentally picks up a poor young stowaway, who turns out to be something of a gold-digger, which forces our aging Illusionist to find increasingly more degrading ways to make money in order to buy her things.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: It's animated and the sparse words spoken in the piece are deliberately incomprehensible, even to people who think they understand French and English.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. It's highly artistic and aimed at the thinking crowd.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Sure, if you like to laugh at things you have to think about first.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The ending is pretty depressing... But also goes without saying. I mean, what was he thinking would happen?!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Feature. Too bad it's up against the very best film of the year, Toy Story 3.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I can honestly say that there isn't any.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The animation of the scenery is beautiful. It makes you want to go to Edinburgh. Speaking of which, if any of you wants to go there, I have a friend who's producing a series of one-man/one-woman shows at the Edinburgh Theater Festival, and she's still looking for some acts for this year, so if you have a completed piece, let me know in the comments section.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's based on an unproduced script written by the late French actor and icon, Jacques Tati. While alive, Tati was one of France's most famous movie stars. In fact, he still is, despite having passed almost 30 years ago. My point is that this is not a man who had any trouble getting a movie made if he wanted to, so if this script remained unproduced there's probably a reason for that. I'm just sayin'.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Illusionist Trailer

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Saturday, January 29, 2011

From Prada to Nada


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: This aptly titled movie is about two rich sisters (Alexa Vega & Camilla Belle) of Mexican decent, who after their father dies, are forced to move from Beverly Hills to the barrio.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Camilla Belle, Alexa Vega, Wilmer Valderrama, Nicholas D'Agosto, Adriana Barraza, April Bowlby, Pablo Cruz, Kuno Becker, Karla Souza

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Supposedly this is based on Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen, which maybe they shouldn't announce in the opening credits, because it gives away the whole story. And right when you think the movie couldn't get any more predictable, too.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Many of the jokes border on racism, despite the fact that they are being delivered by a character of Mexican decent.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Their dad dies to set the action in motion. Then they find out he was broke, and left them nothing but debt. And then they move to a neighborhood where they're pretty sure they're going to get killed. And after all that, you still won't feel like crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'd give it a Razzie for Make-Up, with an assist going to the Casting Director. Camilla Belle is about as white as snow, and no matter how much orange pancake makeup you put on her, she is never going to pass for Mexican... She might be able to land herself a spot on the Jersey Shore, though.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm gonna blame the director's editing choices for the unfortunate misses in the performance department. From the opening montage, you can tell that he has no sense of rhythm or comic timing, and the actors, though their performances could have been absolutely passable, fall victim to the off-pace of the cuts, which make them seem like they are performing for an audience of slower than average mind capacity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Aside from ruining the actor's performances, there are several shots that are blurry because the focus is pulled to the person in the foreground, rather than the one your eyes are struggling to look at in the background. To make matters worse, this appeared to be a deliberate stylistic choice.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: For as low rent as this story is, the (small) audience I saw it with felt compelled to applaud at the end. So you can imagine my surprise when the lights came up and I found out that most of them were well over 50 years old. I was even more surprised to hear them in the bathroom, afterward, discussing how "cute" the movie was... And I thought old people were supposed to be wise?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Yes, I'm just as tired of giving out Yellow Lights, as you are of reading about them. But it's not my fault. Somebody make a great movie, already!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: From Prada to Nada Trailer

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Monday, January 24, 2011

The Way Back


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The possibly true story, as told in the memoir, "The Long Walk," about a group of World War II prisoners who escaped a Siberian prison (that's in the USSR) and walked all the way to freedom in India. Of course, not everybody makes it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jim Sturgess, Ed Harris, Colin Farrell, Saoirse Ronan, Dragos Bucur, Alexandru Potocean, Gustaf Skarsgard, Sebastian Urzendowsky, Mark Strong

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. I think the movie is well over two hours in an effort to make you feel just how difficult and how long this trek was.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: One of the characters is considered the "Jokester" so... no.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Even as people die you kind of feel relieved for them.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hope it's not too late for the Make-Up to get a nomination. Never have I seen skin so beautifully damaged disgustingly by the sun.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This is the first movie that I have ever liked Colin Farrell in. He plays a Russian, and for some reason the accent goes perfectly with his over-acting. (Yes, I did see In Bruges. Check the blog archives for how annoyed I was with all his mugging.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: A lot of nice landscapes, but not much is done with them. That said, I would not have wanted to be the poor schmuck who had to direct this movie. Between the snow, the desert, and the vast mountain ranges, the conditions looked like they had all the right ingredients to make for a very cranky crew.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The most interesting thing about this screenplay is that it's a true story. That would be really amazing, except that there's some speculation about just how true it is. A doctor once told me that humans can out-walk any other animal, so that was one reason I was intrigued by this premise. Then again, when I'm lost on a hike or in a foreign country I try not to remember that the guy was a head-doctor, not a body-doctor.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Way Back Trailer

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Sunday, January 23, 2011

No Strings Attached


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A guy and a girl (Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) decide to use each other for sex, without any expectation that it'll go anywhere.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Kline, Cary Elwes, Greta Gerwig, Lake Bell, Olivia Thirlby, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Jake Johnson, Mindy Kaling, Talia Balsam, Ophelia Lovibond, Guy Branum, Ben Lawson, Jennifer Irwin, Adhir Kalyan, Abby Elliott

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Everybody knows that when you don't have any expectations, that's when things go well. And everybody also knows exactly how this story is going to go well. But what it lacks in conflict, suspense, and surprises, it makes up for in utter cuteness.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: More than a lot of romantic comedies, but less than a lot of R-rated comedies.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's all too predictable to get you crying, but when Kevin Kline tears up it's actually one of the better laughs.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Authentic Performance by an Actress in a Romantic Comedy. I don't know what it is that Natalie Portman is doing, but it just works.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Ashton Kutcher finally found a leading lady who's prettier than he is! Also, beautiful guest performance by Lake Bell. What she does in this movie isn't as obvious as she makes it look.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I once had a directing teacher who said that 90% of a director's work is having good taste in material. And that's what Ivan Reitman does best. I know this because I've seen an s-load of his movies, and I can't remember a single shot from any of them. Okay, that's a lie, there is one shot I remember-- but who could forget the slow pan, in Twins, over to Arnold Schwarzenegger's starry-eyed grin, after the first time he has sex?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The premise holds together by a string because Ashton Kutcher is clearly in love with Natalie Portman from the first, second, third, and forth time they meet. So when they say things like, "Let's keep doing this until one of us starts to have feelings for the other," it rings completely false because he already has feelings for her. Meanwhile, her excuses for not getting more involved with him are convoluted, contradictory, and mostly very thin.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The line from the trailer where he says he can't date her because she's his oldest friend is not in the movie. This is not a friends with benefits situation, because they were never friends first. I kept waiting for the part where they would be friends, and it never came. This lacking element caused me great confusion about why they weren't giving a relationship a shot, since they were already in one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: No Strings Attached Trailer

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