The Illusionist

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A failing Parisian Illusionist travels to Scotland to find work and accidentally picks up a poor young stowaway, who turns out to be something of a gold-digger, which forces our aging Illusionist to find increasingly more degrading ways to make money in order to buy her things.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: It's animated and the sparse words spoken in the piece are deliberately incomprehensible, even to people who think they understand French and English.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's highly artistic and aimed at the thinking crowd.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Sure, if you like to laugh at things you have to think about first.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The ending is pretty depressing... But also goes without saying. I mean, what was he thinking would happen?!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Feature. Too bad it's up against the very best film of the year, Toy Story 3.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I can honestly say that there isn't any.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The animation of the scenery is beautiful. It makes you want to go to Edinburgh. Speaking of which, if any of you wants to go there, I have a friend who's producing a series of one-man/one-woman shows at the Edinburgh Theater Festival, and she's still looking for some acts for this year, so if you have a completed piece, let me know in the comments section.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's based on an unproduced script written by the late French actor and icon, Jacques Tati. While alive, Tati was one of France's most famous movie stars. In fact, he still is, despite having passed almost 30 years ago. My point is that this is not a man who had any trouble getting a movie made if he wanted to, so if this script remained unproduced there's probably a reason for that. I'm just sayin'.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Illusionist Trailer

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Heartbreaker (L'arnacoeur)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man (Romain Duris) is hired to break up couples by seducing the woman.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Romain Duris, Vanessa Paradis, Julie Ferrier, Francois Damiens, Helena Noguerra, Andrew Lincoln, Jacques Frantz, Amandine Dewasmes, Jean-Yves Lafesse, Jen-Marie Paris

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This romantic-comedy is France's entry into the Failure to Launch category. Meaning, it's impossible in every way, from the ridiculous premise about a non-existent job, to the cheesy romantic dialogue, that even the most passionate of French women would never fall for. But there's something about it that still manages to charm the pants off of you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If dialogue like, "You've awakened me, I feel alive again... But it's too late for me. You, you deserve better than what I can give," doesn't get you laughing, then try to imagine it being said at the end of a first date.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but the fake crying the actors do will make you cringe.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Cutest use of spelling in a title (see original language title). You see, in French, the word for a swindler is "arnaqueur," which is pronounced the same way the French title of this movie would be pronounced if it were a real word. But what they did, instead of spelling it correctly, was to combine the word swindle (arnac) with the word for heart (coeur)-- get it?! He's a heart swindler!!!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Romain Duris is currently one of the biggest stars in France. I've always enjoyed his movies, but I've never understood why France picked him. He's always reminded me of my first love, who I never found particularly attractive. In this movie, he is regularly referred to as extremely pulchritudinous, and he acts like he knows he's gifted with good-looks. I tried to just go with it, but in the end, the only line that rang true to me was when a bartender asked how a guy like him could end up with a girl like Vanessa Paradis, who in real life is married to Johnny Depp, and is absolutely his equal in the looks department, despite a gap the size of a tooth in between her two front teeth.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Very Hollywood.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Apparently the original writer, Laurent Zeitoun, got the idea for this story when one of his cousins was gonna marry a jackass, and he joked that they should hire an actor to step in and break them up. While I agree that that is a great way to come up with an original screenplay idea, it's still a terrible idea for a screenplay.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Tonally, this movie is reminiscent of the Audrey Tatou vehicle Priceless (hors de prix). I thought that movie was okay with a few good jokes, but ultimately pretty silly, but other people who saw it and mentioned it to me over the years almost unanimously enjoyed it more than they had expected they would. Because the response to that film turned out so positively, I expect this little French goof to have a similar effect on people.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/heartbreaker-larnacoeur/10026691/trailers

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Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Did you know that Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky were friends with benefits? Well, now you do.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Anna Mouglalis, Mads Mikkelsen, Elena Morozova, Natacha Lindinger, Grigori Manoukov

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Now that I've told you what it's about, there's really nothing more you're going to learn about it from sitting through the movie. And don't tell me that you want to see it for the Stravinsky music, because if you're that highbrow, then you've probably already got all his tunes on your iPod.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is exactly one joke. I liked it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's much more likely to confuse you, as the dynamic between the two of them and his wife is confusing and never gets unconfused. Actually, their dynamic is confusing even before you add in the wife. But hey, that's friends with benefits for ya'. It's never as simple as the name makes it sound.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It is highly deserving of costume design, set design, and score... that is, if you're allowed to receive an award for copying Chanel's style and Stravinsky's sound.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Anna Mouglalis is good as Coco Chanel, but her character is a despicable selfish c-word. And Mads Mikkelsen is like the Tom Cruise of Denmark... Only Mads can pull off a mustache. (If you've read my Killers review, you may be noticing that it's mustache week here at Movie Reviews by FAQs.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's so heavy handed, you can practically hear the director meekly squeaking, "Look at me! Look at me!"

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The beginning is slow, the middle is fun because there's a lot of sex, and the end leaves you wanting less. But I did learn one thing from watching this: It's not just men who use their money and power as a front for selfless generosity, when all they're really trying to get is sex.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/coco-chanel-and-igor-stravinsky/1435845/trailers

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Coco Before Chanel (Coco Avant Chanel)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The life of Coco Chanel (Audrey Tautou) up until the point when she became famous fashion designer Coco Chanel.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Audrey Tautou, Benoit Poelvoorde, Alessandro Nivola, Marie Gillain, Emmanuelle Devos

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This is a beautifully shot, well made film with good acting, and beautiful settings, that isn’t even that boring… and yet I can’t think of a single person I would recommend it to.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There’s some wit, but you have to be a fast reader of subtitles to catch most of it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I heard a lady in the elevator, afterward, saying she cried, but she looked like a manic-depressive.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Costumes… why not?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Perfectly good acting portraying perfectly unlikable characters.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The opening shot is a little nauseating, but the rest is quite pleasant to look at.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m still trying to figure out the deeper correlation between Chanel’s upbringing in an Orphanage, and her success as a fashion designer. I can see how the outfits they wore as children inspired some of her cuts, as well as her desire to introduce the color black to high class women’s wear, but I’m still not totally sure why anyone liked her, listened to her, or gave her a chance.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/coco-before-chanel/37886/trailers

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Inglourious Basterds

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) leads a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as the ‘Basterds’ in killing Nazis during World War II and taking a central part in a plot to end the war in writer/director Quentin Tarantino’s re-imagining of history.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Melanie Laurent, Diane Kruger, Til Schweiger, Eli Roth, Michael Fassbender, Daniel Bruhl, B.J. Novak, Martin Wuttke, Sylvester Groth, Mike Meyers, Julie Dreyfus

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you like (or even love) Quentin Tarantino’s films, then just go ahead and pretend like the little traffic signal over there on the left is flashing green for you. Because Inglourious Basterds will be right up your alley; the movie is easily as good as some of his best. For everyone else not in the above category, I’m not really sure what to say to you, but my guess would be that you probably hate going on roller coasters. To which I say: life is short, so why not ride one once in a while.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Brad Pitt (+) absurd Tennessee accent (÷) by period mustache (x) eye-catching scar on neck (=) more laughs than you might expect. Other stuff will make you laugh too, if your sense of humor veers toward the dark side.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No. Unless you generally find yourself crying while watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If this film is nominated for Best Picture, it will say a lot about how the academy is feeling towards Quentin Tarantino these days. Beyond that, the acting is spectacular and will most likely be noticed once award season hits.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Christoph Waltz as ‘Jew Hunter’ Col. Hans Landa is getting a lot of attention for his work in this movie and it’s all deserved. He takes every cliché ever put on screen of the “scary Nazi” and deconstructs it so thoroughly that the almost cuddly teddy bear he creates has the odd (and purposeful) result of becoming one of the most unique and scariest Nazis ever put on film. But he is just the start of a cast that makes an indelible mark, including the femme-fatales, Diane Kruger and Melanie Laurent, who can connive and consort with the best of spies; male or female. And as is usually the case, the further Brad Pitt disappears into a real character, the better he is, and that is no less true here as his Lt. Aldo Raine borders on comic genius.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: As great of a screenwriter Tarantino has proven to be over the years, at this point in his career he’s probably a better director. Inglourious Basterds is another testament to that; you can just feel the energy coming off the screen from someone who truly loves what he does for a living. But I do wish he displayed more discipline as an editor because more than a few scenes go on way too long (yes I’m looking at you Scene-in-Cellar that should be cut by half). But back to directing: Tarantino’s camera never makes a false move, and it’s always fun to see how he uses the tools of cinema like a master painter in complete control of his medium. Tarantino knows how to tell a story through pictures like few directors, and this one is no exception.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Once again Tarantino uses an unconventional structure to tell the story here, although not in a time-shifting jumble like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs. Unfolding in ‘chapters’ the story leaves central characters for long stretches to set up new characters in subsequent sections, only to have all the central players come together for an explosive climax. Like many of his past screenplays, the dialogue is sharp and the conflict within any given scene is oftentimes surprising and jarring. And I can’t heap praise on the actors without acknowledging the characters Tarantino created and the dialogue and actions he wrote for them to say and do. But due to the subject matter, Inglourious Basterds plays more like a cartoon than any of his other films, yet in many ways it’s also impossible to view it simply as that. It rides an extremely fine line between reality and fantasy and as the story unfolds it delves further into wish fulfillment that is ultimately as cathartic as its author intended.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/inglourious-basterds/36184/trailers

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