Project Nim

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A family of wacky hippies in the 70s decides it's a good idea to move a baby chimp (Nim) into their Upper West-side Brownstone and raise him like a human being, teaching him to communicate through sign language.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Stephanie, Herb, Laura, Bob, and a bunch of other first names they made a point of writing across the screen real big, which I don't remember.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. The pace is fairly slow, then it overcompensates to keep your attention with suspenseful music and intriguing camera pans that imply that something fatal is around the corner. SPOILER ALERT: nothing is.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yeah, the 70s are funny as shit, no matter how many monkeys got hurt in the process.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It didn't me, because I'm a cold-hearted animal non-worshiper-- by which I mean that I would never put their needs before those of human beings. That said, some pretty messed up things end up happening to this monkey.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It did win the Best Documentary award at the Newport Beach Film Festival, but the Newport Beach Film Festival wins the award for the Closest Film Festival to Los Angeles that No One in Hollywood has Ever Been to.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: One of the best things about this movie is its demonstration of how, in researching this monkey, humans once again prove that they themselves are the stupidest species in the Animal Kingdom.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Similarly to how I felt about James Marsh's previous effort, Man on Wire, there is a constant impending sense of doom, which never leads to doom, and therefore leaves me feeling very... shall we say, "tantric"?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I'm pretty certain that this is the best story coming out this summer about monkeys acting like humans. I'm talking to you Rise of the the Planet of the Apes! DISCLAIMER: I haven't seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The trailer was quite enough for me, thank you very much! Rise of the Planet of the Apes Trailer

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Project Nim Trailer

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Zookeeper

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A zookeeper (Kevin James) finds out that the animals can talk, when they try to reunite him with the woman who broke his heart (Leslie Bibb).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Ken Jeong, Donnie Wahlberg, Joe Rogan, Nat Faxon, Steffiana De La Cruz, Nick Turturro, Brandon Keener, and the voices of: Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, Faizon Love, Maya Rudolph, Bas Rutten, Don Rickles, Jim Breuer

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Here's what happened to me... I tried to take my almost 3 year old niece to see the movie with talking cars, but the Arclight didn't let us in because they were more than 10 minutes into the previews. She was disappointed, so I agreed to take her to the movie with talking animals instead. Turns out that talking animals are really scary to an almost 3 year old-- especially when voiced by the dulcet tones of Nick Nolte, Sylvester Stallone, and Faizon Love. So we left after 20 minutes. Unfortunately for me, the first 20 minutes were really promising, so I went back the next day to see the rest.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: A few times in the first 20 minutes. Less when I found out what the ride I was on was really gonna be like.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It made my niece cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Beastiality Scene in a PG movie. (Thanks to the beautiful and charming Katrina Begin of Minnesota.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kevin James is great. I know, I really just said that. But the voice cast is a-nnoy-ing! Especially Maya Rudolf as the giraffe. She's lucky she's in Bridesmaids, because otherwise, this could've marked the beginning of a dry spell for her. And why did Judd Apatow suddenly decide he needed to add acting to his resume? Isn't he busy enough?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Seeing it a second time, I realized that it was the lighting and the score that were scaring my niece almost as much as the deep voiced lions, bears, and gorilla. But I think the fact that I had to explain to her several times that it was supposed to "funny" not "scary" kind of says it all.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Well it has 5 writers, so you know how that goes. But at least they got a T.G.I.Fridays promotion in there, so everyone could get paid and laugh all the way to the bank! Honestly, it's not that bad if you like movies that are completely predictable in every way.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: A Gorilla in T.G.I.Fridays is totally disturbing even if he does speak English and wear a shirt. Speaking of which, whatever happened to "No shoes, no shirt, no service"? Dude isn't even wearing pants!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Zookeeper Trailer

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Creation

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Charles Darwin (Paul Bettany) struggles with his religious views as well as those of his wife (Jennifer Connelly) as he writes, "On the Origin of Species."

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Paul Bettany, Jennifer Connelly, Jeremy Northam, Martha West, Toby Jones, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jim Carter

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! It sounds interesting enough, but really the movie is about what a hard time Darwin had overcoming his eldest daughter's untimely death, which ultimately he pins on the fact that he married his first cousin. There are no interesting discourses in favor of either the theory of Creation or the theory of Evolution. And you feel as if you should have taken a few hours away from the movie to read his book cover to cover, if you are to understand the logic behind his wife's final conclusion.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Exactly one time... if you're not sleeping during that part.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It might bore you to tears.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most lost opportunity to do something interesting and controversial.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I thought the ape was amazing!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The pace is slow, the story jumps around in time, in what seems to be an effort to befuddle the viewers, and the score is a blatant rip off of Swan Lake.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: When you have the opportunity to really dig into the best arguments for Evolution and pin them up against the best arguments for Creation; the opportunity to really make your audience think-- possibly even swaying their preconceived notions, one way or another, and causing them to question their predispositions; why on Earth would you give us a boring story we've seen a million times about the loss of a child?! Yes, losing a child is probably the most devastating thing anyone ever has to go through, but that's not what we want when we go see a movie about Charles Darwin!!!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Riddle me this: Why is it that when real life couples work together on screen, the movie is never good?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/creation/1425333/trailers

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Kung Fu Panda

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A Panda who dreams of becoming a Kung Fu master is picked to defeat his village's most powerful and dangerous enemy, despite the fact that he has no experience in Martial Arts.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, David Cross, Randall Duk Kim, Michael Clarke Duncan

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! One of the best Kung Fu movies I've ever seen. Oh, and also it's really, really cute.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes. But if you can catch a weekend matinee, the laughter of the children laughing will add exponentially to your enjoyment of the jokes.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Almost.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: A likely winner in the Best Animated Picture category. Which sometimes doesn't seem like that great of an accomplishment, considering they can rarely ever find more than three movies a year to nominate for that meagerly category.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Much like the character he plays, Jack Black is a master. He continually rises above your expectations, conquering all lines of dialogue that are placed before him with awesomeness and attractiveness.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The inventiveness of the director's vision is sold in the first few frames, as the movie opens on Panda's Kung Fu fantasy, which cleverly parodies the Japanime animation style. And the attention to detail just expands from there.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It starts out seeming like it's going to be the same old movie about a boy who wants to be a dancer, while his father wants him to follow in his footsteps working a passionless job at the coal mines. Only instead of dancing, this boy wants to do Kung Fu, and instead of coal mines, this father wants him to become a Top Ramen-style noodle chef... But happily, the movie quickly takes a turn into more original and charming territory.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The merchandise is going to kick as much butt as the Dragon Slayer.

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