Red Riding Hood

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Very loosely based on the fairy tale of the same name, this story of werewolves living amongst us seems to exist almost solely for the purpose of capitalizing on the Twilight phenomenon.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Billy Burke, Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons, Virginia Madsen, Lukas Haas, Julie Christie, Shauna Kain, Michael Hogan, Adrian Holmes, Cole Heppell, Christine Willes, Michael Shanks, Kacey Rohl

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. What the imitators of Twilight never seem to be able to capture is the one thing that makes the little girls scream: the squirm-inducing sexual tension between the heroes that comes from the fact that they can't have each other, and being teenagers with raging hormones, this means that they will absolutely die if they can't have what they want.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The part where she says, "Grandmother, what big eyes you have" is kind of funny, but not intentionally.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: A lot of people die, so-- no.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Red Riding Hood gets the award for being the first of a slew of lame fairy-tale re-tellings aimed at adults that have become the latest trend in Hollywood. Here's how Hollywood thinks, "What can we make into a movie that has a built in brand, that we don't have to spend money on?" And that's why there is now a Jack in the Beanstalk project in the works, two competing Snow White projects coming your way, and three Peter Pan movies racing to get to the big screen first. And all of them are action adventure films aimed at grown ups, because everyone knows that's who the fairy-tale brand speaks to the loudest... Think about it, Hollywood!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Shiloh Fernandez is a pleasure to look at, but he lacks the charisma of a Robert Pattinson. I want to give director Hardwicke props for casting her own Twilight discovery, Billy Burke, thus expanding his career, but unfortunately, Burke suffers from the same problem as Fernandez in this piece. Amanda Seyfried, though, pops off the screen effortlessly.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Catherine Hardwicke comes from a background as a set designer, so it comes as no surprise that the art direction in this film is beautiful. She also directed the first Twilight, so it comes as a great surprise that one of the shots in the film looks like it was literally poached from her vampire flick. I know I've seen that shot before, and while it's pretty, I'm not sure you're allowed to reuse your old shots from other movies unless it's part of an inside joke-- which this is clearly not. But, recycled shots or not, the look of this film is definitely its most compelling aspect.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: All of the interesting choices for who the werewolf might turn out to be are too obvious, so the writers are left with the choice to pick someone obvious, or pick someone more random, and either way we're going to be a little disappointed.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Red Riding Hood Trailer

Back To Top

August Rush

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An eleven-year-old orphan boy (Freddie Highmore) believes that if he learns to play the music in his head, his parents will hear it in the air and come find him.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Freddie Highmore, Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Terrence Howard, Robin Williams

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This movie didn’t make me angry enough to deserve a red light, but be warned, you will have to suspend disbelief for every plot twist, and even every plot point, in this corniest of movies ever made. Perhaps it thinks itself a musical fairy tale of sorts, but ultimately even a knight in shining armor showing up on a white horse is more believable than the idea that this orphan boy’s parents (who conceived him during a one-night stand, 12 years ago), would hear his music in the air, and go to him… Then again, maybe I’m just jaded.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It won’t even try to.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It might, but if it does, you will deny it for the rest of your living days.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Now that would be silly.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Due to the fatal combination of corny dialogue and Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ natural levels of intensity, it actually feels quite creepy when he hits on Keri Russell, on the night of their fateful one-night stand. Once that’s over, all three of the separated family members (Highmore, Rhys Meyer, and Russell) spend a lot of screen time looking up at the sky meaningfully—which clearly the director has instructed them to do. On the flip side, there are break-out singing and acting performances by both Leon G. Thomas III, who plays a young street musician that August Rush (Highmore) befriends, and 11 year-old Jamia Simone Nash, as a singer in a church choir, who discovers that August is a musical prodigy.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Very average, and (as mentioned above) sometimes detrimental to the acting.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m willing to severely suspend disbelief about once a movie—twice if the writing is really clever—I shouldn’t have to do during all the pivotal moments, even in a supposed fairy-tale.

Q: Is there anything else I should know about the movie?

A: Since Music is a main character, I would be remiss not to mention it. Let me just say, this is no Once (I’m referring to the 2006 Irish musical movie). You probably won’t be humming any of the tunes as you leave the theater. The only really creative aspect of the music is that August figures out how to somehow play guitar chords simply by hitting the guitar with a flat hand. Maybe that’s possible, but in this case the visuals and sounds don’t always match up from what I could see.

Back To Top