Amazon Holiday

Friday, February 18, 2011

Unknown


Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After an accident that causes a concussion, a man (Liam Neeson) has to prove that he really is the person he claims to be, without any verifying identification.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn, Bruno Ganz, Frank Langella, Sebastian Koch, Olivier Schneider, Stipe Erceg, Rainer Bock, Mido Hamada, Clint Dyer

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Not enough action. Not enough intrigue. No final "Ah-ha" moment to be felt when all is said and done.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I think it's funny that the simple act of casting Frank Langella in a role gives away the fact that the character is gonna be a bad-guy, even when there's nothing in the action that would indicate that we should be suspicious of him.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It makes me sad that there are articles in the Hollywood Reporter that are already discussing whether or not there should be a sequel. I'll tell you what, make a great movie first! Something I might want to see the continuation of. Then we can talk about sequels, you greedy bastards.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Unconvincing Love Story: Lifetime Achievement Award. It's the worst developed romantic conclusion I can recall in my lifetime, anyway.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I have a hard time buying Liam Neeson as an American. Maybe because his name is Liam?... Nah, it's that pesky British accent, when he talks.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This is the closest I've ever come to going to Berlin, and even as someone who loves to travel, I can honestly say that I have no desire to ever go back... Unless, of course, it's because someone is forcing me to go on a date with that hunky Sebastian Koch.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: To plagiarize someone I don't know, who was exiting the theater at the same time as me, "It ain't no Bourne Identity!" Then again, for all I know, he was coming out of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Unknown Trailer

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6 comments:

ArtsBeatLA said...

Ahem - Liam is an Irishman.

I am glad I didn't bother to see this movie -- it sounded as lame as your review has revealed it to be.

I have a theory that guys like Neeson take these types of action roles time and again ("I liked it better the first time, when it was called 'Taken') so they can take many afternoons off while their stunt double stands in for all the action shooting.

Monique Elisabeth said...

That's right, he is Irish, isn't he... I actually looked this information up before posting, because I couldn't remember, and Imdb says he's from the UK, so I used the overarching "British" which encompasses Scottish and Welsh, but I'm pretty sure, not Irish-- unless he's from Northern Ireland. But I digress.

Yes, Taken is better. And I love your theory. I had never heard that one before. The usual theory is that guys like him take roles like this to get a big payday and a box-office score that can pay for the smaller acting roles in indy films and "prestige" films, that they really want to do.

reanaclaire said...

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I would like to share some sponsored options with you, something like writing some movie reviews and getting paid. Can you drop me an email for further details?

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Corey said...

The Irish will also tell you, in no uncertain terms and perhaps fueled a bit by drink, that Ireland is not part of the UK. So, IMDB is wrong.

Chelsea said...

Hi Monique,
I like your movie blog very much!
I was about to see this movie tomorrow, but considering your take on it, I think I'll reconsider.
Keep up the good work!

Monique Elisabeth said...

@ Chelsea: Thanks!

@ Corey: You'd think Liam Neeson or his people would be drunk enough once in a while to tell imdb so much!