Amazon Holiday

Friday, February 27, 2009

O'Horten

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A railroad conductor retires after a life of rigidity and schedule, to finally discover the lighter side of life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Baard Owe, Espen Skjonberg, Ghita Norby, Henny Moan, Bjorn Floberg, Kai Remlov, Peder Anders Lohne Hamer, Kari Loland

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! The only reason to see this movie is if you want to look at a snowy Norwegian vista, but you can’t afford a ticket to visit it live.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only if you have a lot of patience and a very peculiar sense of what’s funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Boy, will it not do that.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If a movie could be a wallflower, this one would define that genre. But to get awards somebody has to notice you exist.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Most of the characters aren’t on screen long enough to do anything wrong. (You have to see the movie to know how incredibly true that is.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The lighting, framing and production design are what make this film a piece of art…

Q: How is the story/script?

A: …And the quiet story-less story is what makes this art film another boring piece of-- art film.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: This movie doesn’t come out until May 15th in the US, but I’m posting it now because it’s already out in the rest of the world.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/o'horten/trailers

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Hurt Locker

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An elite Army bomb squad is in constant peril, as they go around Iraq’s war zone finding and disassembling camouflaged, hand made bombs.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: : Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christan Camargo, Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, Evangeline Lilly, David Morse, Suhail Aldabbach

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! Plot-wise, this movie would’ve worked better as a video game. Mainly because it’s the same scene over and over: We find a bomb, we disarm it. We find a bomb, we disarm it. We find a bomb, we disarm it. At least if it were a game, we’d get to participate at levels of ever-increasing difficulty.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Why anybody would want to see a movie that tries to make you feel like you’re in the middle of the Iraq War, at this particular juncture in our history is beyond me, so if you’re going to this, I probably can’t relate to you enough to tell you if it will make you laugh…

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: …or cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won several awards at the Venice Film Festival (none of which I’ve ever heard of), and it was up for 2 Spirit Awards for acting. But before you question my harsh judgment of this film, may I remind you that I’ve watched it, you haven’t.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jeremy Renner is the most under-rated actor in Hollywood, and has been for years. Maybe because he tends to pick dark, interesting roles in dark, uninteresting movies.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: As proven by her body of work, Kathryn Bigelow is a director who feels more confident about shooting action scenes than telling a story. This frantically shot film, with only a semblance of a story, continues in the tradition.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Some of the characters are interesting, but you won’t gain much insight beyond the fact that war is Hell… And we already knew that.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If you still want to see an Iraq war movie after reading this review, rent Traitor. Here’s a link to my review of Traitor: http://moviereviewfaqs.blogspot.com/2008/08/traitor.html

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/the%20hurt%20locker/trailers

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Fired Up!

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Two high school football players (Nicholas D'Agasto and Eric Christian Olsen), decide that there will be more doable girls at cheer camp than at football camp, so they make up some lame excuses to cut out on one in favor of the other, and spend their summer spreading diseases. (Okay, so there's no mention of disease in the movie. I'm just prognosticating.)

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Nicholas D'Agasto, Eric Christian Olsen, Sarah Roemer, Molly Sims, David Walton, John Michael Higgins, Philip Baker Hall, Adhir Kalyan, Juliette Goglia, Jake Sandvig, Michael Blaiklock, Margo Harshman, Edie McClurg, AnnaLynne McCord, Danneel Harris

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. We spend long months and sometimes years waiting for a movie of this sort to come out, but ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, that rare commodity, that special gem... It's finally here: a movie so bad that it's good!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Every term you can think of for breast, butt, and [insert any sexual organ here] (I know) is pulled out of the gutter in this all out effort to pretend that women's lib never happened.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Well I cried when more than one man turned me down to see this movie over the weekend, because it was too stupid, and clearly for girls. And I cried again (this time with joy), when I arrived at a Tuesday night screening filled with exclusively men, secretly watching this movie with glee.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yeah-- right!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sarah Roemer is a beauty who may not have the chops to pull off comedy. Eric Christian Olsen is clearly 10 years too old to play high school. And Nicholas D'Agasto is just right.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This movie reminded me of one of those cheesy low budget movies you used to be able to find at 3am on the USA Network. Some might take that as an insult, but seriously, when was the last time you managed to turn one of those off before the clock hit 5am and you realized that you just got caught up in a total schlock-fest and loved every minute of it!

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It starts out at the bottom of the barrel, and painstakingly climbs its way up that barrel wall, until it ends, and you find yourself saying silly things like, "That was sweet."

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/fired-up/33561/trailers

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Taken

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a retired spy's daughter gets kidnapped, he (Liam Neeson) will stop at nothing to get her back before she is sold into prostitution.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, Xander Berkeley, Katie Cassidy, Nicholas Giraud, Olivier Rabourdin,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Though it's billed as a thriller, this film fits more cleanly into the superhero genre. Despite the fact that Liam Neeson doesn't wear a cape or a mask, or have any notable superpowers, his skills at tracking and apprehending bad guys are definitely superhuman. And while the film is entertaining throughout, it is missing the one thing that makes and breaks a good superhero movie: a worthy adversary.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Human trafficking, now there's a funny topic!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Some saps I know might've gotten teary-eyed during the epilogue. But I can't vouch for them.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's been doing awesome at the box office (on track to cross $100 million), and I think that's more than the studio behind this small January release ever expected.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Liam Neeson is intense and makes you feel his urgency from the beginning to the end. Maggie Grace does a great job of portraying that youthful high school energy, and I probably shouldn't be impressed by this, but she's a very good screamer.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are a lot of artful shots, but I'm a firm believer that action needs to be shown in wider shots so you can follow what's going on.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Action packed and intense because the stakes are high and the clock is ticking, but this movie could have gotten that elusive green light from me, if only Neeson had been put into a few more impossible-to-get-out-of situations. As it is now, you feel like he's always two steps ahead of everyone, and no one could possibly stop him.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/taken/28725/trailers

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A young woman obsessed with shopping (Isla Fisher), finds herself unemployed and in credit card debt up to her ears, so she gets a new job working for a magazine that gives advice on saving, and we all hope she will learn something from her own writings.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, Krysten Ritter, Leslie Bibb, Kristen Scott Thomas, Joan Cusack, John Goodman, John Lithgow, Wendie Malick, Fred Armisen, Julie Hagerty, Robert Stanton

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. More romantic than you'd expect a movie about credit card debt to be, but unless you can relate to spending more than twice what you make every month on designer labels that would make you a good candidate for a New York City mugging, before they work their way to the back of your closet, only to be forgotten forever (or at least until you get the credit card bill), I'm not sure what's so fun about this story.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not enough to attract any male viewers, or any women over seventeen.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's sad what happens to her, but it's sadder that we live in a society where anyone thinks that a $4000 purse is going to make them a happier or even more popular person. Frugal tip from me to you: Once you take the item out of the beautiful store in which it poses so luxuriously, wearing only an exorbitant price tag, no one is going to know where you bought it, or how much you paid... So you may as well be wearing a hand-me-down.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Not even the most childish and immature of awards organizations is going to remember this story long enough to think of giving it a nomination.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm glad that all the more famous actresses turned this role down, so that we could get a chance to see how spunky Isla Fisher (of Wedding Crashers) can be in a starring role. She is sweet and delightful... but unfortunately for her, a poor man's Amy Adams. Which is kind of ironic considering the character's ring tone is "If I were a rich girl," by Gwen Stefani.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: P.J. Hogan is an expert at keeping things upbeat and fun, even when the plot is thin and predictable. He creates a bouncy and colorful vibe with the soundtrack, the cuts, and of course, the colors.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I didn't read the book, but I can't help but wonder if there was something more suspenseful in the writing of it than what was translated to film. Aside from a clever moment (that I won't spoil), where the main character does something smart that comes back to haunt her later, there's not a lot here that doesn't feel like it could only happen in a movie.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/confessions-of-a-shopaholic/33070/trailers

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The International

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An Interpol agent (Clive Owen) and a New York attorney (Naomi Watts) try to expose a corrupt international bank that is selling arms to Third World countries, laundering money, and covertly killing anyone who gets close to uncovering their scheme.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Ulrich Thomsen, Brian F. O'Byrne, Michel Voletti, Patrick Baladi, Felix Solis, Jack McGee, Alessandro Fabrizi, Luca Giorgio Barbareschi, James Rebhorn

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The question that becomes unavoidable by about the fifteenth minute of this movie, as everyone around our two leads gets killed for knowing too much, is why hasn't anyone tried to kill our two leads yet? The real answer: because they're the leads of the movie... If you can get past that elephant in the room, and you like political thrillers that force you to pay close attention, lest you miss a reference to a person or minute detail that may later come to matter, it's a well done film.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you're committed to understanding this complicated plot, you'll be too busy putting the pieces together and trying to remember who's who amongst the many international characters that pass through this story before getting assassinated, you won't be relaxed enough to laugh.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: This film will have you so deep into the recesses of your brain, that your mind will become completely separate from your body, thus hindering the free passage of any emotions or feeling to your being. Scientifically speaking.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The action sequence in the Guggenheim Museum is likely to go down in action scene history. If it doesn't get nominated for an MTV Movie Award (which it probably won't because the rest of the movie is too heady for MTV audiences), it will at least be the most talked about part of the film as the years go by, and people forget everything else about it.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Audience, meet Clive Owen's intense side. In this film he unleashes his menacing stare on his fans, by unleashing it on his enemies... and his allies... and an empty lot... and a wall... and anything that moves... or stands still.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are some beautiful scenery shots of Italy, Istanbul, and France, which I'd like to give credit to not only the Director, but also the Production Designer and the Cinematographer for bringing to their full vibrancy. You get to feel like you're traveling the world for the low price of a movie ticket. The warmth of these beautiful places is well contrasted with the coolness that is used to depict the harsh, modern, interiors of the evil, but luxurious, banking establishment... And Germany.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Not emotionally involving, but on some levels intellectually satisfying, and containing a few interesting turns of phrase, including clever life lessons and philosophies. The ending is more of a downer than I would have liked, especially during a time of financial hopelessness, like the one we're in. My prediction is that this movie would have a more successful box office if they had gone a more uplifting way at the very last moment, which they could've easily done without compromising their point more than a tiny little bit.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: For reasons that I can't quite put my finger on, this 2 hour movie feels like 3. Maybe because every time you think you're getting to the big finale, a whole new plot twist begins to unfold.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-international/29837/trailers

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Coraline

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An animated girl, named Coraline, discovers a secret passageway in her new house that leads to an evil woman, posing as a better version of her mom, in a better version of her life. But when Coraline gets wise to her Other Mom's evil ways, the Other Mom won't let her leave.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Saunders, Dawn French, Keith David, John Hodgeman, Robert Bailey Jr., Ian McShane

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The colors, animation, and 3D effects are spectacular, but who is the audience for this movie? It's not clever enough for adults, it's too dark for little girls, and it's got too much of a female protagonist for little boys.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you find giant, naked, old lady boobies funny, then sure. I think they can be funny, too... But not in a kids' movie. And by the way, when I say "giant," I guarantee that what you're picturing in your mind right now is only half the size of what they actually drew. And wearing nothing but pasties. I couldn't be more serious.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but the imitation Enya music will put you in a trance and make you very, very sleepy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Least attractive animated humans ever drawn. Come on, they're animated, there's no excuse for them not to be cute!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm a huge Dakota Fanning fan, but the animators didn't do this character any favors with the facial expressions they created. Coraline is not particularly likeable, she's not nearly as cute as Dakota Fanning, and Dakota is much better at using her eyes to look sweet and innocent when she's saying something bratty-- that's how she gets away with all the bratty things she says in live action movies. Teri Hatcher, as the Other Mom, has the opposite effect. Thanks to the animation, her textured vocal tones are, for once, matched by an expressive physicality. What I'm saying is, her performance had a complete lack of Botox!... I actually thought she was fantastic in this.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Aside from the slow pace at the beginning, the directing is quite obviously the star of this film. The animation is vivacious, and with 3D glasses, it even comes right into your seat.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It seems to have been made into a movie about one draft too soon. The beats of a story are there, but it's devoid of those clever, "Why didn't I think of that?" moments. Once we know what the story is going to be, everything is laid out too easily for the protagonist to succeed.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/coraline/26304/trailers

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Friday, February 6, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Dating sucks, and the long term relationships that it leads to are even worse.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ginnifer Goodwin, Justin Long, Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Kevin Connolly, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Busy Philipps, Drew Barrymore, Sasha Alexander, Brooke Bloom, Hedy Burress, Wilson Cruz, Kris Kristofferson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. This movie is cute in exactly the way you'd expect it to be, but it's not particularly romantic. Probably because it attempts to uncover the realities of dating, rather than rehash the usual romantic movie fantasies that we all know and love, which ultimately, are the culprits in creating our misguided dreams of fairy-tale romance. You know, the ones that lead us to being constantly disappointed in real life.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's got enough laughs to not be a disgrace to its genre, like some of the movies that call themselves romantic-"Comedies."

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It could be a bit of an embarrassment to its genre, after all. It is supposed to be a "Romantic"-comedy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Film based on a book that's based on an episode of a TV show. The competition was nobody.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Of the entire ensemble, nobody really stands out or stretches outside of their comfort zone. But Ginnifer Goodwin, the least famous of the bunch, is actually the star of the film both in screen time and in her ability to be complex, quirky, and interesting.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Interchangeable, inoffensive and unremarkable. The simple shots and standard coverage will play very well on the small screen. Which is a very good thing, since this film will likely do most of its business on DVD.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Ensemble movies are tough, but the writers do succeed at keeping all the stories compelling and interconnected-- in some cases a little too conveniently. The tone is consistently light-hearted, even when certain people's words (the men's) are harsh. And even some of the saddest moments get laughs. But when you're trying to expose the realities of dating, happy endings are both hard to come by and hard to buy.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: If they were going to have an all white cast, why did they place the movie in Baltimore, Maryland, which is 80% Black? They really could have told this story anywhere... Or cast a few Black people. Take your pick.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/hes-just-not-that-into-you/29704/trailers

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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Two Lovers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After a broken-off engagement, a suicidal man (Joaquin Phoenix) suddenly finds himself choosing between two beautiful women (Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinessa Shaw, Moni Moshonov, Isabella Rossellini, Elias Koteas, Jay O. Sanders, Bob Ari, Julie Budd

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. Despite the high profile cast, this plays like another depressing indy movie that some people will call a beautiful portrait of love and its effect on the human condition, and which I will call a downer that was hardly worth the zero dollars I paid to see it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The scene that introduces Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty funny. But that's about it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: While the experience of unrequited love will always summon tears in real life, this film doesn't transmit the experience beyond the actors' own sense memory exercises.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It was nominated for a Golden Palm at Cannes, which some of my friends who saw The Class (the winner of the Golden Palm), will tell you doesn't mean squat! Not my words, theirs... They know who they are.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Joaquin Phoenix gives the type of performance that often gets lauded. Personally, I found him to be totally creepy. Gwyneth Paltrow, on the other hand, who I haven't been much of a fan of in the past, gives a vibrant performance that jumps off the screen. Apparently, the role was written with her in mind. Meanwhile, Vinessa Shaw gives a performance that explains why she's been in a fair amount of high profile movies for the past ten years, and people are still asking "Who's this Vinessa Shaw person?" In other words, she'd be awesome as the lead in a procedural TV series.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: James Gray clearly makes an effort to step away from the standard angles and coverage for this imitation art film, and for that I give him credit. I know that sounded like half an insult, but it's just hard to give the director of We Own the Night the same "indy film" pass that I might give to a first time director who has no money, no stars, and no resources.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It introduces some interesting characters and an interesting dynamic between them, but I'm not sure what enjoyment or insight the writer was hoping to give the audience with this story, besides that some forms of entertainment just aren't very uplifting.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/two%20lovers/trailers

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fat, pathetic loser (Kevin James) falls for a girl who's way out of his league, and despite her rejection, puts his life on the line to save her from a robbery in which she is taken hostage. Do girls ever really fall for that old trick?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Kevin James, Jayma Mays, Keir O'Donnell, Raini Rodriguez, Shirley Knight, Stephen Rannazzisi, Peter Gerety, Bobby Cannavale, Adam Ferrara, Allen Covert, Jamal Mixon, Adhir Kalyan, Erick Avari

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. If you're the kind of person who laughs at absolutely anything, this movie is for you. If you have standards of any kind, skip it. And separately, if that giant tub of man hadn't done 9 years on TV as the King of Queens, that girl wouldn't give him the time of day, even if he did save her life. She'd say thank you, and ask if they could be friends... Just in case she happened upon an unattractive lonely woman to set him up with.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you find an hour and a half of a guy riding around on a Segway funny, all I can say is... Your mother must be very proud.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I will say this, it is very depressing.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yes, First Mall Cop Movie to Come Out this Year. (Seth Rogen has one coming soon called Observe and Report, which will undoubtedly be compared to this. Without having seen it, I can guarantee that the Seth Rogen one is better.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The ninja gymnastics was the best thing the acting had going for it. I don't know who decided that ninja skateboarders, bmx riders, and half-pipe-riding roller skaters would make for a compelling band of robbers, but if you overlook the ridiculousness of it all, you will notice that their stunts are still more interesting than the parts of the acting that involve words.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: In the scene in the Rainforest Cafe, where Blart takes down the grand majority of the bad guys, you have no idea how he got them. Why? Because the director doesn't show us those parts. Why doesn't he? My guess is because they had run out of ideas by that point in the script. After all, it's not so easy to convince an audience that an out of shape Mall Cop could take on 6 athletic ninja villains, who are all coming at him at once, and win.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: While it couldn't be more lowbrow if it had been a straight to DVD movie, it did have a few clever moments in which Paul Blart had to "outsmart" (in quotes) the robbers, in order to take them down. Considering how much money it's made, you probably have a friend who's already seen it, so maybe you can just get the Cliff's Notes from him.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: They somehow forgot to mention in the promos that this was a Christmas movie. Maybe because there's no more relevant time to put out a Christmas movie than 2 weeks after Christmas is over. God I hate January movies.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/paul-blart-mall-cop/31338/trailers

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Class (Entre les Murs)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a book that's based on a true story, this movie about a French teacher (François Begaudeau) who  struggles to get through to his upstart students, in an underprivileged upper school in Paris, is entirely improvised.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: François Begaudeau (writer of the book, teacher of French, and now bona fide movie star), Franck Keita, Rachel Regulier, Wey Huang, Boubacar Tour, Carl Nanor, Louise Grinberg, Esmeralda Ouertani,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. The film holds your attention over the course of the school year, even though it is more like a string of interesting moments than an over-arching story. The banter and impromptu dialogue between the teacher and the students is witty and engrossing, as we watch these kids try to bully their teacher into losing complete control of the situation.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you speak French you will laugh a little. If you don't, you will laugh a little less. What I'm trying to tell you is the subtitles are terrible. Some of the most hack-job translation I've ever seen.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you've ever been a kid who's been accused of being bad, when you know in your heart that you're good, or if you've ever been a teacher who's been accused of trying to make a difference, when you know in your heart that it's not possible.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It was nominated today for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Film (France). Allons enfants de la patrie le jour de gloire est arrivé! (Sorry, I'm just getting a little patriotic on my French side-- Hi, Mom!)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The teacher, François Begaudeau, who plays himself, and the students, who are also non-actors, are unreasonably comfortable and natural in front of the camera.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Between the hand held camera and the shakiness of the teacher's hold on his students, you will definitely feel the squirm factor, as you worry that at any moment, he could go too far and misspeak, with that fast talking mouth of his, or his students could waft him a verbal blow so severe that he might never recover.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As I watched it, I kept thinking the story would build to something. When it didn't, I left the theater feeling cold. But as the days have gone by, since I left the theater, I've found myself thinking about it more and more, and bringing it up with passion in conversations. So if you're planning to see me anytime soon, be warned.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/the%20class/trailers

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Monday, January 19, 2009

Medicine for Melancholy

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After waking up from a one night stand, two Black people with nothing in common besides the shade of their skin, spend a day together trying to get closer, despite that fact that the woman has a white boyfriend, who's away on a business trip.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Wyatt Cenac and Tracey Heggins

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! Imagine if Before Sunrise took place in San Francisco, and had hardly any dialogue. Yes, this is a movie about two people talking, that has almost no words.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The woman's emotional arc might. Let me paint you a picture. When she wakes up next to him she seems deeply annoyed, and yet she agrees to go to coffee with him. When he shows up at her house with the wallet she left in the cab, she seems deeply annoyed, and yet she lets him come in for a drink. When he won't leave the house (which she tells him belongs to her boyfriend), she seems deeply annoyed, and yet she agrees to spend the rest of the day with him... Not only that, she starts to smile and laugh at his lame attempts at humor. Then out of nowhere she angrily snaps at him, "This is just a one night stand!" Which is obviously followed immediately by playfully running around San Francisco and taking a ride on a Merry-Go-Round. Although it was never mentioned that she might have a mental disorder, I have to imagine her psychosis is the reason for the "medicine" mentioned in the title.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Yes!... Oh, no, wait. I was just having a bout of dyslexia and I thought the question said, "Will this movie make me cyr?" Hold on a minute, it doesn't make you cyr either.  That's southern for "care."  It's true, ask anyone from the south. (Disclaimer: I've never met or spoken to anyone from the south.)

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's nominated for 3 Independent Spirit Awards-- which is a dead giveaway that the movie will be esoteric and make you feel very sleepy.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I find Wyatt Cenac to be a little too understated for my taste, both here and on The Daily Show. But he's also specific enough in that thing he does that his whole acting style could catch on as a hip joint.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Disjointed and non-sequitur are two words that come to mind. I would like to mention the cinematography, too, which was one of the only interesting aspects of the film. They shot in 97% color, so it looks like they shot on colored film and then developed it in black & white. I thought it was a pretty cool effect until I found out (during a Q & A with the director of photography) that this look was only chosen because they couldn't figure out another way to light the Black actors without making their skin look chalky.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's supposed to be about the growing socio-economic divide occurring in San Francisco as the poor get pushed out due to gentrification. It's not... But there is a random scene where we see a group of concerned citizens, who have nothing to do with the rest of the film, discussing those ever-so-timely Propositions 98 and 99 from last June's California ballot. In case you didn't get the memo, they were about getting rid of Rent Control and they didn't pass.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The filmmakers clearly know a lot of aspiring Indie Rock musicians, and they put all of their music in the film. So the soundtrack is pretty good if you like that sort of white boy independent stuff. That said, I'm not sure it went well with the characters in this story who are constantly discussing the Black man's place in this city.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFHWGvDRKYw

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Notorious

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The true life story of Christopher Wallace, A.K.A Biggie Smalls, A.K.A Notorious B.I.G., A.K.A. Big Poppa, covering his childhood dealing drugs on the streets of Brooklyn to his highly publicized East Coast/West Coast hip-hop/rap rivalry with Tupac Shakur, which ultimately led to both of their untimely deaths. This movie begs the question: does any man need that many names?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jamal Woolard, Derek Luke, Anthony Mackie, Angela Bassett, Naturi Naughton, Antonique Smith, Dennis L.A. White, Marc John Jefferies, Julia Pace Mitchell, Kevin Phillips, and Christopher Jordan Wallace-- Biggie's real son, playing his dad as a youngster.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. It's a perfectly well done movie about a perfectly overdone story. While this is the first fictionalized version of Biggie's life, it doesn't shed any new insight onto the matter that hasn't already been brought to light in the 2002 documentary Biggie and Tupac or the 2007 documentary Notorious B.I.G. Bigger Than Life... Or for that matter, from having lived through it, since it all only happened 12 years ago.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The funniest thing is how even keeled and charming Sean "Puffy" Combs comes off, as portrayed by Derek Luke. Just to give you an idea of how funny this is, here's a story: My friend Kimberly's friend used to work for P. Diddy, until she quit because she realized he was a chair thrower. Yes, at people. What makes this joke particularly funny, is that Puff Daddy is an executive producer on the film, and the only surviving member of the feud, and therefore also the only one who could protect his image as to how he would be represented in this film.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There is a very touching scene, where Biggie's friendly neighborhood drug dealer takes a rap for him, and goes to prison in his place, so that Biggie can pursue his rap career. I don't buy it for a second as truth, but it's very good writing.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Probably an Image Award. After all, in this version of the truth, Biggie does manage to make amends, before he dies, with all the women he'd been using, abusing, cheating on, impregnating, and undeservedly treating like complete whores. His apologies make for another moment that I don't buy, but I enjoyed as a piece of good writing.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The most impressive thing is how all these drop dead gorgeous women manage to act like they're attracted to this ugly-ass man. (No offense to newbie actor, Jamal Woolard, who was pretty much pulled off the street to play this part, and does a very convincing job.) And don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of his music, too, but talent is no excuse to despicably disrespect women like he does-- especially if he was raised by a mother as loving and strong as the one depicted in this film by Angela Bassett.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: George Tillman Jr. creates the perfect ambiance for the story, using the grain in the film stock to create a look that's glamorous but not glossy-- perfectly matching the tone of Biggie Smalls' life.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story is well told, it has simply been told too many times... Which is probably why my favorite parts were the parts that seemed made up.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It's somewhat distracting that the actress who plays Lil' Kim, , looks exactly like Mary J. Blige.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/notorious/32029/trailers

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Wendy and Lucy

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?


A: While some might describe this as the sobering account of a young woman’s life, as misfortune and bad luck conspire to leave her destitute, I would describe it as the Michelle Williams-loses-her-dog movie.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michelle Williams, Will Patton, Lucy the Dog, Wally Dalton, Larry Fessenden, Ayanna Berkshire, Will Oldham

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! This is sort of an ‘anti-movie.’ It has no plot to speak of, no character arcs, and no real conclusion. It truly is 80 minutes of watching Wendy (Michelle Williams) look for her lost dog (Lucy) in some depressing Oregon blue-collar town where pretty much nothing else happens. I’d be willing to bet that Michelle Williams’ home movies have more dramatic thrust than this collection of images and sounds. And higher production values as well.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: No. But after the movie was over, we laughed a lot at our friend Brian’s impersonation of Wendy looking for her dog. He just put his hoodie up and wandered around calling out: “Lucy!... Lew!... Lucy!” I counted even a few strangers laughing. They, too, had clearly seen the film.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Yes. It will make you weep for the current state of indie films. Because when boring, pointless pieces of of film like this are not only getting made, but also getting released, it kind of justifies why most of the independent film making companies closed up shop last year. Independent film is dying. But if this is what passes for independent film, maybe it deserves to die.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It has already won Best Film and Best Actress (Michelle Williams) from the Toronto Film Critics Association. It’s nominated in the same categories for the Spirit Awards. After seeing it, I can honestly say that Canadians have no taste and filmmakers should be insulted if they get nominated for a Spirit Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Thanks to filmmaker Todd Haynes, a mutual friend of the director and Michelle Williams, all parties were able to convince her to sign on-- proving once again that old Hollywood adage: it’s not what you know, but who you know. I can’t think of a single good reason why Williams would do this project, unless she was craving an award from the Toronto Film Critics and had a psychic premonition that they’d vote her the winner. I mean, she’s fine, but like I’ve said before, in my review of Deception, she deserves much better parts. Anyway, to talk about acting in an anti-movie is like answering a question about editing while watching America’s Funniest Home Videos: oxymoronic.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: This anti-movie at least adheres to a few well-worn rules when making a low-budget indie that’s meant to be depressing: open on an overcast day as a train moves through a rail yard. Check. Now move to a meandering overly-long tracking shot of the star in which you can’t really make out that it’s the star. Check. Cover that with someone humming a pointless tune and we’ll go ahead and pretend that’s the score. Check. I’m beginning to wonder if there was even a director behind the camera because it all seemed like a collection of security-camera images that caught Michelle Williams roaming around Oregon looking for her dog in real time for 80 minutes. Are you still reading this?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There is none. There were opportunities for dramatic story-telling set forth, but each of them was promptly avoided like the plague. Wendy could have gone off the rails and gotten angry, or confronted someone a number of times, but the writers simply defused each dramatic opportunity with a character who doesn't stand up for herself. This anti-movie is supposed to be a mediation on our times and economy. How responsible are we for each other? What is the American Dream in 2009, and does it still really exist? Those are truly interesting themes. None of which have any resonance in Wendy and Lucy. I did feel for Wendy – probably because of Michele Williams. But the character is pretty much an idiot.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Did I mention that this is not a movie?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzMP6jQ5Txc

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Gomorrah

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fictionalized true-life glimpse into the modern day Italian Mafia in Naples, knows as The Camorra.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Salvatore Abruzzese, Simone Sacchettino, Gianfelice Imparato, Maria Nazionale, Carlo Del Sorbo, Toni Servillo, Carmine Paternoster, Salvatore Cantalupo, Gigio Morra, Ronghua Zhang, Marco Macor, Ciro Petrone

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! The first scene is fantastic, then you can go home.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: After watching The Sopranos become a national pastime, it's hard to imagine a mob story devoid of a single humorous moment, but they pull it off here.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You would if you cared about even one of the characters in this film, especially considering most of them get killed. But you don't, so you won't.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Somehow, it has been nominated and won several big awards around the world. Not only that, but Martin Scorsese has decided to endorse this film by adding a "Martin Scorsese Presents" credit to the front of the film for American audience. So you can take his word for it, considering he is one of the premiere cinematic authorities on all matters mob, but I was bored out of my mind.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Imagine Pulp Fiction. Now imagine it in Italian. Now take away all the funny parts. And voila!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: 2 hours and 17 minutes for 4 unrelated stories, all of which are uncompelling and add nothing to this tired old genre, besides the insight that Italians are dumb enough to get involved in this nonsense in their own country, as well as in ours. If the director wasn't going to do something original, then at least he should have cut the movie down to a palatable length. I checked my clock 3 times.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Apparently the author of the book that this movie is based on, Roberto Saviano, had to go into hiding, and is under permanent police supervision, due to the death threats he received for exposing The Camorra's secrets. I'm still trying to figure out what special secrets this guy exposed about organized crime that we hadn't already deduced from seeing The Godfather, Goodfellas, and Analyze That.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hky53gXyjX0

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