Water for Elephants

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A young man (Robert Pattinson) becomes a veterinarian for the circus during the Great Depression, and falls in love with the tyrannical circus owner's (Christoph Waltz) wife (Reese Witherspoon).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz, Paul Schneider, Jim Norton, Hal Holbrook, Mark Povinelli, Stephen Monroe Taylor, and Tai, in the role of Rosie the elephant.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Though riddled with coincidences too good to be true, the setting is fairly original, the characters are complex and well developed, and the story of good love conquering evil love never gets old.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There's a laughing hyena who actually laughs, and that made me laugh. Even more so when I tried to figure out what you would do with a hyena in a circus.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You should be warned that for a love story, there's a lot of violence and gore, and some of it is against animals, so all you beast worshipers will probably never feel anything less than rage for Christoph Waltz again. Just try to remember that he's just an actor playing a part. And if you can't get yourself to relate to that, then console yourself with the fact that what he did to the Jews in Inglorious Basterds was much worse.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Will somebody please give that elephant an Academy Award?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: When I was at the Twilight premiere, some Hollywood big-wig tried to convince me that Robert Pattinson would never be able to break out of his Edward role. He was wrong.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Director, Francis Lawrence has once again proven that Rob Pattinson is an amazing kisser. Separately, I really enjoyed the shots of the smoke coming from the train, as it speeds off into the blue screen-- er, night sky.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I haven't read the book this is based on, but I am still impressed at how well Richard LaGravenese transformed it into a properly structured movie. I wish, however, that there weren't so many pivotal plot points that revolved around convenient happenstances, which snap you out of the feeling that this might just be a true story-- which it isn't.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Am I the only one who really wants to call this movie "Like Water for Elephants" behind its back?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Water for Elephants

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Vampires Suck

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Twilight is spoofed, similarly to how Scream was spoofed in Scary Movie.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Chris Riggi, Anneliese van der Pol, Ken Jeong, B.J. Britt, Arielle Kebbel, David Deluise, Charlie Webber, Michael Hanson, Kelsey Ford, Jun Hee Lee

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You know what you're getting into with this type of broad humor based almost exclusively in pop culture. And if you are going to see this, you should have a solid knowledge of the Twilight Saga going in... which, somehow, I do.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: What's funny about movies based in pop culture is they're almost too dumb to be blond.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What's sad about movies based in pop culture is that they feel passé by the time they come out on DVD.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Funniest Song. "My Panties" by Magicwandos. Imagine you're looking at Kristen Stewart in Twilight, and you suddenly hear the lyrics in her head, put to an emo alternative rock tune, "I feel so lonely. Nobody gets me. I. Am. So. Unhappy."

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I am totally not kidding when I say that Jenn Proske turns in one of the most impressive performances of the year. Sure, it's just an impersonation of Kristen Stewart, but the mannerisms, the posture, even the voice are spot on. This is how Anna Faris started her career with the Scary Movie franchise, and I see a future just as bright for this new actress, who has a total of zero credits to her name leading up to this one. It's almost worth seeing the movie just for her.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: From the very first shot I was surprised that this movie didn't look crappier. In fact, for $20million, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer do a pretty darn good job of making it look exactly like Twilight. In further fact, the directors of the Twilight movies should be ashamed of themselves for needing so much more money to get the same look.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's so close to the Twilight story that there are times when you forget that you're watching a spoof. But right when you get comfortable with the idea that you're simply watching a remake with new actors who are imitating the old actors, they throw a joke in your face-- often quite literally.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I love it when I get a natural opportunity in my post to write commonly searched words (Twilight) seven times and (Kristen Stewart) thrice... not counting the tags.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/vampires-suck/51638/trailers

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The Last Song

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A rebellious teen (Miley Cyrus) is forced to spend the summer at the beach with her dad (Greg Kinnear), where she meets a boy (Liam Hemsworth) and falls in love. Whoa, tough life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, Bobby Coleman, Liam Hemsworth, Hallock Beals, Kelly Preston, Nick Lashaway, Carly Chaikin, Kate Vernon, Melissa Ordway

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This ain't no Hannah Montana. And whatever you may think about the double-life-living Disney character, at least her stories don't make you regret having wasted your time watching them.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Miley's turn as a serious actress might.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I want to say no, but for saps like me, there is a ray of light that could move you to the point of having to be embarrassed about it. (Sometimes I wonder if I have any standards at all...)

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If Miley Cyrus wants to win awards, I'm gonna highly recommend that she stick with Hannah Montana, and continue aiming for Kid's Choice.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: When I was a teenager I believed deeply in love at first sight. But this movie helped me realize that it's a concept that can only exist when all parties involved are drop dead gorgeous, since naturally, "first sight" implies that nobody cares about the other's personality. I wasn't particularly sold on Liam Hemsworth's acting, but I have to give him credit for trying to sell the idea that he could instantly be attracted to Miley, despite the fact that she's acting like a rude, angry, little female dog. Unfortunately for her, this kind of selfish, bitter character makes her look both ugly and dumb. Bring back the blond wig and the fake teeth!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: My first directing teacher once said, "Directors are judged on their taste in material." So while Julie Anne Robinson's directing is perfectly passable, I'm still giving her an F for the day.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The drama manages to be both superficial and contrived. Shame on you Nicholas Sparks, for not taking your name off this unoriginal story, which was obviously written by a ghost apprentice, who was trying unsuccessfully to imitate your work in Dear John.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-last-song/37683/trailers

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The Last Station

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a novel that's based on a the true story of Leo Tolstoy's (Christopher Plummer) tempestuous love-hate relationship with his wife (Helen Mirren), as their values and life philosophies changed with age.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Christopher Plummer, Helen Mirren, James McAvoy, Paul Giamatti, Kerry Condon, Anne-Marie Duff, John Sessions, Patrick Kennedy

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Mature audiences will feel very mature while watching this complex depiction of what happens to mature love as time matures.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Well it is funny that they want you to believe that James McAvoy is a virgin... or even that he ever has been one.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I felt angry at the ways in which Tolstoy and his groupies were dismissing the perfectly logical complaints and concerns of his wife, to the point where she started to think that she was the crazy one... But I'll tell you something very personal, I have a sore spot for that sort of moronic group mentality, where everyone is too cowardly to speak up for the one outspoken person who's making sense.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Everything about this film reminds me of the movies that have recently been nominated for or swept the Academy Awards. Strangely, it's coming out now, in January, which makes it ineligible for 2009, and will make it forgotten by 2010. Somebody's gonna get fired for this one.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Helen Mirren tops herself once again, with a character that feels like nothing I've ever seen her do. Her chemistry with Christopher Plummer is magical. And James McAvoy... he seems like he's not even acting, and yet, in every scene he makes you feel like the movie is only about him.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: According to the Q & A, the director's biggest challenge was making the clean and orderly Germany look like a messy and chaotic Russia. I also learned that the most memorable directing moment I had noticed was James McAvoy's idea.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It is filled with dramatic, contradictory emotions, through which it manages to convey how love can hold you together and pull you apart at the same time.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Another interesting tid-bit from the Q & A, was that the Russian composer wrote the entire score based solely on reading the script. The director rejected it on principle, but after several months, several composers, and several other score attempts, he asked to hear the music that had been written before a single frame of the movie had been shot... And it was perfect.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-last-station/1392634/main?icid=movsmartsearch

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Man on Wire

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: This documentary tells the story of French tightrope walker, Philippe Petit, and his attempt to do his act in between the two World Trade Center buildings.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Philippe Petit, Annie Allix, Jean-Louis Blondeau, Jean-Francois Heckel, Jim Moore, Barry Greenhouse, David Foreman, Alan Welner, and "The Australian".

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. While the daring behind this amazing feet is impressive, and the lengths to which all these people went to illegally pull it off is insane, the ending leaves you wondering what emotion the film is trying to incite.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yeah, because performance artists are crazy!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Beware if you have a fear of heights, some of the shots will make you queasy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: They wouldn't want any. Because art is beautiful! And awards are ugly.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sometimes people cry, and I don't know why...

Q: How is the Directing?

A: James March does a great job of gathering tons of authentic footage of these people in the 70s, (which is when this death-defying act occurred). But the re-enactment scenes get a little cheesy when they show the fake actor's faces, and you realize it's not the real people.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There's something going on under the surface of this story, that for some reason is not shared with the audience. Some deep meaning, that I wish I knew... Alas, I was not there to experience it, and shall hence be forever left in the dark.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Seeing the Twin Towers in all their glory, and even watching them be built, has a tangential emotional effect, considering their now-known impending doom. This story of a young French man, whose psyche was overwhelmed by the mere idea that these two giant towers would go up and be the tallest in the world, only reinforces the deeper meaning those buildings used to have to people around the world, when they would think of America. And yet, at the same time, as his team reveals how they were able to go under cover and break into the buildings to pull off this illicit stunt, it makes you realize how vulnerable they've always been to terrorist acts.

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The Incredible Hulk

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) is a fugitive on the run from the U.S. Government, because an experiment whose purpose is to create weapons out of men, by mutating their cells and making them "Superhumans" actually works.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Ty Burrell, Tim Blake Nelson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. I left the theater with more questions than answers. Like, "Why did this nice, seemingly peaceful guy experiment on himself, to create a "Superhuman"?" and, "What exactly did he think was going to happen if he exposed himself to radiation?" and, "Was that really how they're going to end this movie?"

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It ain't no Iron Man.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Even with Edward Norton in the lead, the heart in this movie feels like it's running on a pacemaker.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Outside chance for CGI, but personally I thought the monsters looked cheesy and gross.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As good as Edward Norton is, they just don't give him that much to do.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Louis Leterrier does a good job of distinguishing between the parts where Bruce Banner is a regular guy, and the parts where he's a Hulk, by creating a realistic and raw look when he's normal, versus a more cartoonish look when he's green.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: After seeing the preview, my biggest question going in was, "How is the Hulk going to defeat another Hulk-like monster that's twice his size and seemingly has at least as much power as him?" After seeing the movie, that is still my biggest question... It's okay for the good guy to win every time, but you still have to justify and earn it.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: In the last scene, they announce the sequel, and a surprise guest causes this to be the best part of the film. But it's still a little audacious to announce the sequel when they had no way of knowing if this movie was going to be a hit or not.

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