From Prada to Nada

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: This aptly titled movie is about two rich sisters (Alexa Vega & Camilla Belle) of Mexican decent, who after their father dies, are forced to move from Beverly Hills to the barrio.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Camilla Belle, Alexa Vega, Wilmer Valderrama, Nicholas D'Agosto, Adriana Barraza, April Bowlby, Pablo Cruz, Kuno Becker, Karla Souza

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Supposedly this is based on Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen, which maybe they shouldn't announce in the opening credits, because it gives away the whole story. And right when you think the movie couldn't get any more predictable, too.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Many of the jokes border on racism, despite the fact that they are being delivered by a character of Mexican decent.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Their dad dies to set the action in motion. Then they find out he was broke, and left them nothing but debt. And then they move to a neighborhood where they're pretty sure they're going to get killed. And after all that, you still won't feel like crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'd give it a Razzie for Make-Up, with an assist going to the Casting Director. Camilla Belle is about as white as snow, and no matter how much orange pancake makeup you put on her, she is never going to pass for Mexican... She might be able to land herself a spot on the Jersey Shore, though.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm gonna blame the director's editing choices for the unfortunate misses in the performance department. From the opening montage, you can tell that he has no sense of rhythm or comic timing, and the actors, though their performances could have been absolutely passable, fall victim to the off-pace of the cuts, which make them seem like they are performing for an audience of slower than average mind capacity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Aside from ruining the actor's performances, there are several shots that are blurry because the focus is pulled to the person in the foreground, rather than the one your eyes are struggling to look at in the background. To make matters worse, this appeared to be a deliberate stylistic choice.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: For as low rent as this story is, the (small) audience I saw it with felt compelled to applaud at the end. So you can imagine my surprise when the lights came up and I found out that most of them were well over 50 years old. I was even more surprised to hear them in the bathroom, afterward, discussing how "cute" the movie was... And I thought old people were supposed to be wise?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Yes, I'm just as tired of giving out Yellow Lights, as you are of reading about them. But it's not my fault. Somebody make a great movie, already!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: From Prada to Nada Trailer

Back To Top

Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Did you know that Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky were friends with benefits? Well, now you do.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Anna Mouglalis, Mads Mikkelsen, Elena Morozova, Natacha Lindinger, Grigori Manoukov

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Now that I've told you what it's about, there's really nothing more you're going to learn about it from sitting through the movie. And don't tell me that you want to see it for the Stravinsky music, because if you're that highbrow, then you've probably already got all his tunes on your iPod.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: There is exactly one joke. I liked it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's much more likely to confuse you, as the dynamic between the two of them and his wife is confusing and never gets unconfused. Actually, their dynamic is confusing even before you add in the wife. But hey, that's friends with benefits for ya'. It's never as simple as the name makes it sound.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It is highly deserving of costume design, set design, and score... that is, if you're allowed to receive an award for copying Chanel's style and Stravinsky's sound.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Anna Mouglalis is good as Coco Chanel, but her character is a despicable selfish c-word. And Mads Mikkelsen is like the Tom Cruise of Denmark... Only Mads can pull off a mustache. (If you've read my Killers review, you may be noticing that it's mustache week here at Movie Reviews by FAQs.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It's so heavy handed, you can practically hear the director meekly squeaking, "Look at me! Look at me!"

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The beginning is slow, the middle is fun because there's a lot of sex, and the end leaves you wanting less. But I did learn one thing from watching this: It's not just men who use their money and power as a front for selfless generosity, when all they're really trying to get is sex.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/coco-chanel-and-igor-stravinsky/1435845/trailers

Back To Top

Two Lovers

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After a broken-off engagement, a suicidal man (Joaquin Phoenix) suddenly finds himself choosing between two beautiful women (Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinessa Shaw, Moni Moshonov, Isabella Rossellini, Elias Koteas, Jay O. Sanders, Bob Ari, Julie Budd

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Despite the high profile cast, this plays like another depressing indy movie that some people will call a beautiful portrait of love and its effect on the human condition, and which I will call a downer that was hardly worth the zero dollars I paid to see it.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The scene that introduces Gwyneth Paltrow is pretty funny. But that's about it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: While the experience of unrequited love will always summon tears in real life, this film doesn't transmit the experience beyond the actors' own sense memory exercises.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It was nominated for a Golden Palm at Cannes, which some of my friends who saw The Class (the winner of the Golden Palm), will tell you doesn't mean squat! Not my words, theirs... They know who they are.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Joaquin Phoenix gives the type of performance that often gets lauded. Personally, I found him to be totally creepy. Gwyneth Paltrow, on the other hand, who I haven't been much of a fan of in the past, gives a vibrant performance that jumps off the screen. Apparently, the role was written with her in mind. Meanwhile, Vinessa Shaw gives a performance that explains why she's been in a fair amount of high profile movies for the past ten years, and people are still asking "Who's this Vinessa Shaw person?" In other words, she'd be awesome as the lead in a procedural TV series.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: James Gray clearly makes an effort to step away from the standard angles and coverage for this imitation art film, and for that I give him credit. I know that sounded like half an insult, but it's just hard to give the director of We Own the Night the same "indy film" pass that I might give to a first time director who has no money, no stars, and no resources.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It introduces some interesting characters and an interesting dynamic between them, but I'm not sure what enjoyment or insight the writer was hoping to give the audience with this story, besides that some forms of entertainment just aren't very uplifting.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/two%20lovers/trailers

Back To Top