Somewhere

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A movie star (Stephen Dorff) is forced to spend an extended period of time with his 11-year-old daughter (Elle Fanning), and in the process comes face to face with the emptiness of his rich and famous life.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning, Chris Pontius, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, Lala Sloatman, Laura Chiatti, Nunzio Alfredo 'Pupi' D'Angieri, Michelle Monaghan, Giorgia Surina, Randa Walker

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Intellectual people will love this film for saying so much without saying anything at all. And all the rest of you should see it anyway, because it honestly depicts the loneliness of celebrity, in a real way that will help you run screaming away from your dreams of fame and fortune, while thanking your lucky stars for your anonymity, your closeness to your family, and the joys that come with having to work to get laid.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Did you find Lost in Translation funny? Because this is the same story, different hotel... It makes you wonder if Francis Ford Coppola's daughter has any gripes about her childhood that she's trying to get off her chest. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think she doesn't like staying in hotels very much.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not out loud, unless you're a rich, famous, guy who has to drug himself with prescriptions and alcohol, because he's so bored about being able to afford anything he wants at any moment, and get laid by anyone he wants at any moment, regardless of whether or not he's taken a shower anytime within the last calendar year.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's won a couple of gimme awards, that seem to only exist for the purpose of giving someone an award because you feel like it, even though you can't think of anything to award that person for... The funny thing is, if it had been nominated for directing or cinematography in the Independent Spirit Awards, this year, I might just have voted for it. For reals.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Elle Fanning is getting to that age where she's going to start being compared to her uber-talented sister, Dakota, so let me be the first to annoy them by doing so. And the verdict is.... it's a toss up. They're like comparing apples to apples, where one of the apples is a few years older than the other apple, but aside from that, the apples are completely indistinguishable. Stephen Dorff also does a great job of playing what I imagine is a richer and more famous version of himself.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I have seen all of Sofia Coppola's movies, and generally find them to fall somewhere between middling and downright awful. But with this one, for the first time, she managed to suck me in, hold my attention, and build my ability to patiently wait out the silent meaning of each slow, stagnant shot. Weird. She must've done something right.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There are probably about 11 lines of dialogue in the whole thing, and frankly, that may be this film's genius. I imagine the script was about 20 pages long, since almost nothing describable happens in it either. Yet somehow the quiet alienation of this glamor lifestyle is deeply compelling. My only complaint is the open-ended ending, which makes you want to like this movie less than you actually did.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: I once spent a weekend living at the Chateau Marmont. And despite my excitement about the glamorous premiere I was attending, where I would-- and did-- hob-nob with celebrities, the Chateau is the kind of place that makes you want to take drugs to the point of overdose. It's cold, the furniture is stiff and uncomfortable, and there are rumors of ghosts living there, including that of John Belushi, who actually did overdose to the point of death, in that hotel. While, in my opinion, ghosts are the only suitable inhabitants for the place, it should come as no surprise that Tim Burton has also spent many years of his life renting out the penthouse. See any one of Burton's movies if you want to better understand the state of mind that the energy in this haunted castle will drive you to.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Somewhere Trailer

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Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An unflinching look at Joan Rivers' rise to fame, and her desperate attempt to stay there until the day she kicks the bucket.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Larry A. Thompson, Bari Pearlman, Edgar Rosenberg, Kathy Griffin, Don Rickles, Johnny Carson, Ed Sullivan, Donald Trump,

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Joan Rivers clearly did this movie to prove that she's still funny, and guess what? She is.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's possibly the most genuinely funny movie I've seen this year... but you have to be up for a crass old lady making anal sex jokes.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: She is so damn insecure!.... But as we funny people know, that's where comedy comes from... Pain.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: No, because the Best Old Lady Comeback of the year has already gone to Betty White.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I learned from this movie that Joan Rivers will say yes to any offer.... I also learned that despite the ugly stigma she comes with, she really can act. So, Quentin Tarantino, we're counting on you to bring her back and legitimize her.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: For a documentary, there are a lot of seemingly candid shots with soft, flattering lighting.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The footage is seamlessly edited, flowing between the present day story of Joan trying to stay relevant, and the history of her sordid past. What I can't help but wonder is, where is that old senile, spacey and incoherent Joan who used to ask crazy and embarrassingly irrelevant questions on the red carpet, not 5 years ago? This version of her is not only coherent, she's got enough brains and quick wit for everyone in the room.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It turns out that Johnny Carson was as much of a douchebag as Jay Leno... so maybe he is the right host to carry on the legacy of the Tonight Show.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/joan-rivers-a-piece-of-work/10024268/trailers

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Get Him to the Greek

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An aspiring music exec (Jonah Hill) has to get a famous rock star (Russell Brand) from London to Los Angeles in three days, without getting side tracked by drugs, sex, or the rock star's insane membrane.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elizabeth Moss, Rose Byrne, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, Colm Meaney, Aziz Anzari, Lars Ulrich, Lino Facioli, Nick Kroll, Dinah Stabb, T.J. Miller, Carla Gallo

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you liked The Hangover, you'll like this drug induced extended party sequence a little less than that one.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Clearly I see too many movies and I'm jaded because everyone else laughed a lot more than I did. Then again, I hardly laughed in The Hangover either. Shhhh. Don't tell.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You won't, but according to the dialogue, Lars Ulrich, drummer for Metallica, can cry for 3 hours straight. On a more observational note, I thought it was clever that they had Russell Brand fall in a pool right before the scene where he's supposedly crying, because once his face is covered in water, it's harder to tell, that as an actor, he can't actually cry. I still noticed.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best product Placement for a New Drug. I wonder how much money the drug dealer's union kicked in for that Jeffery sponsorship?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: My friend Meredith liked Russell Brand more as a bit part in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I thought the character was still funny (even though I didn't laugh), and it was nice to see a deeper side to the comic relief character. Jonah Hill, for once not standing next to Michael Cera, gets his chance to play the put-upon innocent whom stuff just happens to, and he's unexpectedly good at it. But he really needs to lose some weight before I'll buy that he can get a girlfriend.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Nick Stoller, who never directed anything before Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is clearly getting more comfortable behind the camera, as he can be seen here experimenting more, especially when it comes to creating that drugged out POV.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: A lot of jokes try to make up for a total lack of substance. Despite the supposed urgency of getting him to the Greek, we never feel that the stakes are very high, because in a worst case scenario, Jonah Hill will lose his job, and at a certain point, we're not so sure that he cares about that anymore.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/get-him-to-the-greek/38930/trailers

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Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightnight Thief

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) discovers that he is the Demi-God son of Poseidon, and that it is up to him to find Zeus' lightning bolt and save his mother from Hades' clutches before the Gods go to war and destroy the Earth for good.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Jake Abel, Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, Rosario Dawson, Melina Kanakaredes, Kevin McKidd, Joe Pantoliano, Uma Thurman

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Come on, just from the description you can tell this film has it all: adventure, battle, and a really cute new teenage leading man!... boy.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I think it's funny that I went to see a movie aimed at 10 year old boys and liked it.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I'm not confessing to anything... but to be fair, it's not my fault, it used the same trick that got me choked up in Valentine's Day, and that trick gets me every time, because it's so easy, it's practically like cheating! Plus, I was already feeling vulnerable from all the scary creatures that had me jumping out of my seat on a regular basis.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It could probably get a Kid's Choice Award on Nickelodeon. But if not this time, then I imagine the sequel will... No, they haven't made it yet, I'm just assuming that was the point.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: No one does anything all that incredible, but I'm always impressed when people under 18 can do anything at all.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are a lot of beautiful special effects made out of the elements: The skies, the water, the fire, and the debris floating in the air of the Underworld.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Everything is set up in exceedingly obvious ways that a 10 year old could see coming, but at least it always pays off. And the adventure genuinely gets you wondering how they're going to get out of some of the precarious situations they get into.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: NSFW: When Pierce Brosnan reveals himself to be a centaur and his bottom half becomes that of a horse, it looks like he has a gigantic package where his human parts would have been. Did I just say that out loud?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/percy-jackson-and-the-olympians-the/32797/trailers

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Saint John of Las Vegas

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A compulsive gambler (Steve Buscemi) leaves Las Vegas to get a day job, which then puts him on a case that leads him right back to Las Vegas.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Steve Buscemi, Romany Malco, Sarah Silverman, Peter Dinklage, Tim Blake Nelson, Emmanuelle Chriqui, John Cho, Aviva

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This effort at comedy tries really hard to be offbeat, but mostly, it's just off.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Almost. Like the promise of dream that gets whisked out from under you, just as you're about to sign on the dotted line.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Gambling addictions make me sad. I just don't relate to why these people continually throw away all their money, when all they want is to have money? I usually avoid movies about gamblers altogether, but this screening was free... Thank the Lord!... Still not worth it.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Sure, I'll give it the Award for Least Annoying Sarah Silverman has ever been in a movie. Not only did I not mind her in this movie, I actually kinda liked her.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The thing that is most "off" in this comedy is the timing. The actors are of a much higher caliber than the script or the director, and it's the director's lack of editing skills that seems to do them in. Considering who the actors are, it's highly likely, they said their lines right on set, but then the director threw off the timing in post production, by adding long pauses between the jokes and the punchlines. This is especially disheartening when you find out that this director has an editing background.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing in this film could not have been worse. The look of the film is reminiscent of a home video-- but not the cool, clear ones your phone might take, I'm talking about 1980s VHS quality. But worse than that, there are actually shots in this movie that snapped me right out of the story so that I could think to myself, "What exactly is this director trying to get me to look at right here?" Who is Hue Rhodes? And how did he/she get $3.8million dollars and a cast like this to be in this sub par, nonsensical movie? If you have any insight, please let me know.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: As I'm trying to rethink how exactly these fraud adjusters solved their crime, I'm realizing that I have no idea what the basic logic was behind their success... That is, if they were successful at all. Who knows what happened when all was said and done? I'd even go so far as to wonder if Hue knows.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: While you're answering some of my questions, would you also mind explaining to me why the title implies that there's anything "Saintly" about this guy? I can't even think of any ironic references to him being a Saint. Please explain. Thank you.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/saint%20john/trailers

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The Hangover

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A bunch of guys go to Vegas for a bachelor party, and get into a lot of trouble, none of which they remember.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham, Sasha Barrese, Jeffrey Tambor, Ken Jeong, Rachael Harris, Mike Epps, Rob Riggle, Cleo King, Brian Callen, Matt Walsh, and Mike Tyson as himself.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Every once in a while I go to a movie that I know I'm going to love... And then I don't love it. For me, this was one of those times. So why am I telling you to go? Because I know that a lot of you are going to enjoy this film more than I did, and watch it over and over in your college dorm rooms, while taking bong loads, and slipping yourselves roofies. Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you why for my "money, baby," it didn't meet its full potential. While this film is relatable to anyone who's tried to go to Vegas to sin as hard as they can, there are a lot of missed opportunities that could've made it more emotionally and psychologically compelling. The characters are undeveloped beyond being caricatures of wacky people who gain and lose personality traits according to the story's needs. And they experience no growth from having lived through this incredibly extreme situation. So ultimately, to me, the film ends up feeling like nothing more than a slice of life, held together through a series of moderately funny vignettes.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Men will laugh from beginning to end at the juvenile and irresponsible behavior they have come to admire so much in themselves and others. Women will smile from beginning to end, but probably not laugh out loud, as they are faced with a constant reminder of how they usually find themselves picking up the pieces.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The best comedies always move you... This one doesn't even think to try. And the most disappointing part is that it could have without a lot of effort.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The movie might not be, but this review may be in serious contention as my Most Controversial and Hated one to date. "It's about Vegas," you say, "It's not supposed to be that deep." But it breaks my heart to see something come so close to greatness and then miss the mark by leaving out such obvious and simple story beats as the lesson learned.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: They've been trying to groom Bradley Cooper into our next leading man, and this performance is just more proof that he can pull it off. But in the long run, this will be most remembered as Zach Galifianakis's breakout, as he introduces the masses to the character he's been playing in his real life for years. He's a strange cat, but nobody else does what he does better.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Down deep, I think we all know that Vegas is a lot more exhausting and stressful than it is fun and glamorous. By coupling slick dutch angles, a fun soundtrack, and sudden breaks for slow-mo, with shots of the seediness of the strip's backside, and the constant construction, whose only aim is to con you into losing your entire net worth in seconds flat, Todd Phillips manages to capture both the excitement of being in a supposed black hole of what counts toward your real life, and the stress of the real life consequences that anyone with half a brain knows have no chance of actually staying in Vegas.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Even my friend, Xavier, who's not a professional screenwriter, was able to see that this story never chooses a main character to follow, and suffers from it, because we are never given any reason to care about any of them. Sure, they have wacky personalities that make for funny jokes, but we really don't know who any of these two dimensional people are, or what they want. Only Ed Helms becomes a slightly better person from this wild journey, but even in his case we don't know what it is about the experience that causes him to change, or for that matter, what it was about him that caused him to be in a demented and abusive relationship in the first place. And this, our inability to relate to or understand the characters' motivations and thought processes, is exactly why we don't get that feeling of magic inside our guts, that is the reason most of us go to the movies, and why I didn't leave feeling 100% satisfied.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The sound is not turned up high enough on a lot of the dialogue, especially when it comes to Zach's lines, which he often mumbles under his breath. Obviously, this won't be a problem once it gets to DVD, and you can rewind.  Also, the funniest part of the movie takes place during the closing credits.  Some would consider this a brilliant move, because you leave the theater as the movie hits its highest point.  But in some ways, it's a cop-out to finally show us what really happened to these guys after the story has already ended.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-hangover/35061/trailers

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Race to Witch Mountain

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A skeptical cab driver (Dwayne Johnson) picks up a pair of child aliens (AnnaSophia Robb & Alexander Ludwig), and they all run from the government, an alien monster, and some mafia thugs, as they attempt to save their planet and ours from imminent destruction.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino, Ciaran Hinds, Tom Everett Scott, Chris Marquette, Billy Brown, Garry Marshall, and from the original, Kim Richards and Ike Eisenmann

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If I were Simon Cowell, I might say, "You didn't make it your own." If I were Randy Jackson, I would add a "Dawg" to that. And if I were Paula Abdul I would say, "I like cake." But what they all mean is, it's all there, except for the charm.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only once, thanks to the well written dialogue of a non-speaking dog named, Junkyard.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I cried when I found out that there were no witches on the mountain, or anywhere else in the film. Maybe they meant to spell it "Which" mountain. That would've made more sense, in the context of a film that asks the question, "Hey, which mountain is our space craft hidden on?"

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Well, it is the Best Movie I've seen this year for boys 7 to 11 years old. And since it's made by Disney, I can't imagine it'll get a Nickelodeon award... unless the lesson of the day at Nickelodeon is "share-nice."

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The kids' speech patterns are purposely stilted, for the purpose of proving to the audience that they're aliens. So when you cast The Rock next to that, who delivers every line with his signature stiffness, it's sometimes hard to decipher who is supposed to be human. But when it comes to the physicality of being an action hero, Dwayne Johnson is the most believable one they've got. With his gargantuan biceps, you actually believe he could knock an alien-created, robot-soldier off his feet with a single punch.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The directing captures all the action appropriately, I only wish some of it didn't contain the types of hokey effects you would find on a ride at Disneyland. But it is a recession, so maybe Disney is cutting back by creating the ride first, and then shooting the movie on it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It is choreographed like an old standard: And 1) and present the skeptic, and 2) and introduce him to aliens, and 3) have them running from everyone until he believes they exist, and kick-ball-change, chassé, and spin!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/race-to-witch-mountain/33071/trailers

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The Great Buck Howard

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A law school drop out (Colin Hanks) takes a job as a personal assistant to a mentalist (John Malkovich) who is past his prime, and in complete denial of the fact that he no longer matters. Basically, it's The Wrestler with a magician, minus the depressing tone and the naked stripper.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Colin Hanks, John Malkovich, Emily Blunt, Ricky Jay, Steve Zahn, Adam Scott, Griffin Dunne, Patrick Fischler, Wallace Langham, Tom Hanks (uncredited), and 90% of the talk show hosts you can think of.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Yet another movie that makes you ask "why?" Why bother? Why not? Why ask why, drink Bud Dry. I miss Bud Dry. And if I had asked "why," I might never have learned that it was my favorite American beer in America. But some prefer Sam Adams. Do you get the metaphor?

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: A little. But some of the laughs feel like they belong in a different movie.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It tries to be moving, but you won't be connected enough to cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This is the most 'based on a true story' movie that's NOT being billed or marketed as a true story. It turns out that these characters are loosely based on the magician, The Amazing Kreskin, and Sean McGinly, the writer-director of this film, who served as his road manager, much like the main character, Troy Gabel... So at least now I know why he wanted to write and direct this. Although I'm still not sure why everyone else got involved.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: John Malkovich is magic. The best thing about Colin Hanks is his dad.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: If I disregard the boom mic I saw drop into one shot, the directing is pretty good, as Sean McGinly does manage to create the requisite tension in the moments when we don't know whether a magic trick will be successful or not. But the lighting is a little slapped together, landing the film's look somewhere between a glossy studio film and a trying-to-look-realistic independent, which subsequently doesn't help give the movie a clear cut tone. The cinematographer, Tak Fujimoto, has done a lot of great work in the past, though, so I tend to blame the script for the confused tone.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's hard to tell what this script wants to be. Is it a comedy? A cautionary tale about making it big? Or just a slice of life about a boy who doesn't know what he wants, except that it's not law school? While the script does have a clear cut beginning, middle, and end, as well as an enjoyable enough running voice over, you may leave wondering what you were meant to learn or gain from watching it.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/the%20great%20buck%20howard/trailers

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21

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Inspired by the true story, and the book, about 6 MIT students who counted cards in Black Jack, and took Vegas for a million dollars.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Aaron Yoo, Liza Lapira, Jacob Pitts, Laurence Fishburne, Josh Gad, Sam Golzari

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! It's entertaining and educational! Especially if you're looking for a system with which to run the Black Jack tables and get rich quick... Or, more likely, lose your shirt.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: They try for it. All but a few of the jokes felt a little on the nose to me.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: More like frustrate you... which is one of the many emotions worth going to the movies for.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm giving the Best Jonah Hill Impersonation Award to Josh Gad. Rarely has a casting choice so obviously tried to compensate for the actor they wanted but couldn't get. (P.S. this is not inside information, it's merely an educated speculation.)

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kevin Spacey's role was written with him in mind, and it's obviously a no-brainer for him to work his magic on. Kate Bosworth is a little stiff, and it's hard to feel anything much about her character beyond, "Wow, has she got perfect facial features." And Jim Sturgess is clearly the new Tobey Maguire. You know, almost attractive, in a completely non-threatening dorky guy way.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Really a good time! I love the montages, and the way Robert Luketic smoothly moves back and forth between the bright lights and glamour of Vegas, and the gloomy, snowy, cold of Boston. It's hard to believe it's the same guy who directed Legally Blonde (also a great movie, but with a totally different look.)

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It keeps you entertained the whole way through. There are a few holes in the logic, but not so big that they can't be overlooked, because the story is fascinating in and of itself.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The real story takes place in the 80s and 90s, and the movie is modern day, so that had me confused for at least the first half. Also, the main character's name is Ben Campbell, but the real guy's name is Jeff Ma, so when they say "inspired by a true story," they really mean, "Inspired."

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