Amazon Holiday

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Company Men

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A multi-million dollar company lays off 1000s of people to please their rich board without touching their own higher-ups' multi-million dollar bonuses. This is the story of what happens to some of the people who are made redundant to protect their fortunes.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, Kevin Costner, Maria Bello, Craig T. Nelson, Rosemarie DeWitt, Eamonn Walker

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketStop! This movie is so depressing that any ending these characters might arrive at would feel happy... including death.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's kind of funny how much this movie made me want to take my own life.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, it doesn't even let you do that! There really is no hope. Why do I even keep going?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Just in case voters feel obliged to fulfill their "fairness" responsibilities by watching this film, despite my warnings, here is the number for the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Many of the Boston accents are distractingly inconsistent, often sounding more like they're from Long Island. Also, when Ben Affleck first arrives at the unemployment placement center, there is a large Black man (Eamonn Walker) who instantly notices him, and looks at him throughout the film like he's planning to seduce the hell out of him. The weird thing is he doesn't. That's like introducing a gay gun in the first act, and not shooting it in the third act! You can't do that! Since the gay innuendo turns out to be unintended, I'm forced to deduce that it's simply bad acting.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Boring directing tries to redeem itself with an overbearing score and soundtrack.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: My friend Lisa is one of those people who is very careful about how she phrases things, often avoiding saying anything negative or controversial, but when this movie ended, she went on a tirade about how it was redundant, pedantic, and trivializes what all the laid-off people in America must actually be going through. Personally, I thought it was a decent enough movie, but I couldn't send anyone to go see it, unless I was trying to convince them that life just isn't worth it, and they should take action against themselves immediately. Which actually gives this movie a huge upside, because it would be cheaper than taking a contract out on my enemies, and in these hard times, any penny pinched is a penny saved!

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Speaking of not giving up on things that are pointless, this is our 400th review! Just my luck that it would be a red light... where did I put that suicide hotline number again?

Q: Where can I see the trailer?


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Castor said...

Ouch! I was sort of looking forward to see this. Obviously, it can't be all joyful addressing a heavy issue such as unemployment. Congrats on the 400 posts! Very impressive feat :)

Monique Elisabeth said...

Thanks, Castor!