Grown Ups

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A group of childhood friends (Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider) reunite for a long weekend at the lake house they used to stay at when they were kids, only this time they have kids… Ah the memories.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek Pinault, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patten, Ebony Jo-Ann, Di Quon, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows, Madison Riley, Jamie Chung, Ashley Loren, Jake Goldberg, Cameron Boyce, Alexys Nycole Sanchez

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. As I’ve gone to great lengths to demonstrate with the plot description, this movie has no plot. But it does give you a sense of what hanging out with Adam Sandler and his less successful Saturday Night Live cronies, plus Kevin James, must feel like.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: All they do is make fun of each other for an hour and half, and considering they are all professional stand-up comedians, they are bound to say something funny once in a while.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you have sophisticated taste, you will cry at how much America is going to love this movie. If you are America, you will be too busy laughing your ass off non-stop to have the energy to cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It actually is the best, most down to earth movie any of these guys has ever made. Except Adam Sandler, but only because he did The Wedding Singer.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Chris Rock simply can not act and he embarrasses himself by trying. On a positive note, he makes his comic friends look like Laurence Olivier. So that’s generous.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I’m starting to notice that Dennis Dugan, who directs most of Adam Sandler’s comedies, relies more heavily on over-the-top sound effects for his prat falls and face plants, than he does on stunt men. Meanwhile, the scene which most of you have seen from the preview, where Kevin James is too scared to let go of the rope, so he instead crashes into a tree and then falls down a hill landing right on the part of his neck that would cause it to break and him to die, or at least be paralyzed for life, needed to be edited both for sound and for picture, because there is no way he survived that fall the way it’s depicted now. No way. Not even if it were a scene from Transformers.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I’m pretty sure they didn’t use one. I imagine they all sat around saying, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we did a scene where we pee in the pool and it turns blue?” “Yeah, we’ll go to the water park for that. That way, production will pay us to have fun on the water slides.” “Yeah, we’re funny guys, we don’t need a story, people want to see us hanging out and having fun like we do.” “And anyway, so long as we say something funny every few sentences no one will notice that there’s no story here.” And the saddest part is that according to the crowd I saw it with, they were right.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/grown-ups/37887/trailers

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