Miracle at St. Anna

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a bank teller in New York mysteriously shoots a customer, a priceless Italian statue head is found in his apartment. Then, when a newspaper man (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) goes to interview him about it, we flashback to World War II to learn about what it was like to be a Black soldier fighting the Germans in Italy on behalf of the United States.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Derek Luke, Michael Ealy, Laz Alonso, Omar Benson Miller, Valentina Cervi, Matteo Sciabordi, Pierfrancesco Favino, John Turturro, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, John Leguizamo, Kerry Washington, D.B. Sweeney, Omero Antonutti, Sergio Albelli

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! Spike Lee seems to use every film as a platform to rant on about racism. To which I say, either think of something new to say on the matter or become a preacher! When you constantly accuse White people of being born and bred to be racists against Blacks, all you do is unite Black people in a common (unfounded) hatred of all Whites across the world. Which, first of all, makes you, Spike Lee, look ignorant. And second of all, it doesn't acknowledge the great strides that have been made toward progress-- like, for example, I don't know, that a Black person is probably going to be our next president! Oh, and I almost forgot to mention: your film meanders without focus, or a plot, and it's 2 1/2 boring hours long. Get off your pedestal and learn to tell interesting stories-- it is what they pay you (a lot more than 40 Acres and a Mule) to do.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: One of the characters is given a funny nickname by a young Italian boy with a vivid imagination. I would tell you what it is (since you're not going to see this movie anyway), but without the visual of how massive this actor is, "My Chocolate Giant" doesn't sound all that clever.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The ending is moving. Unfortunately, you'd have to sit through the rest of the film to find that out. And since you know better than to do that, I don't see how it can make you cry.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It pains me to even consider the question.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The acting is fine. But ask me to tell you who the main character is supposed to be, or whose point of view the story is told from, and my answer would look something like: ???!#@??

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Since the movie takes place mostly in Italy, it can't help but be beautiful. But if Spike Lee had done his job, and cut out the parts that don't advance the story, the film would only be long enough to distribute on Youtube.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It starts out with an interesting mystery, and then we flashback 40 years and watch soldiers doing God knows what, because God knows why, for about two hours. And even though the ending is sweet, if you think about it for more than a few seconds you start to realize how many of its elements could never happen without massive amounts of coincidence and unlikely happenstance.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The score seemed to be pulled from a 1940 film, which is an interesting choice. But maybe I wouldn't have been listening to it so much, if I had felt like paying attention to the movie.

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Battle in Seattle

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A fictional retelling of true events, Battle in Seattle follows an organized group of peaceful rioters, as they stand in protest with tens of thousands of other, against the World Trade Organization, which is meeting in their hometown for five days. Unfortunately, when the police begin attacking them, things don't stay peaceful for long.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Martin Henderson, Michelle Rodriguez, Woody Harrelson, Charlize Theron, Andre Benjamin, Ray Liotta, Rade Serbedzija, Joshua Jackson, Connie Nielsen, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Carpenter, Ivana Milicevic, Isaach De Bankole, Tzi Ma

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Selfishly, I want to send you all to this movie just in case you don't already know what the WTO is doing to put commercialism ahead of both the individual human being and the environment that sustains us. Not only that, but certain heretofore unnamed world powers within the World Trade Organization (take a lucky guess who) use their position to suppress the rights of Third World countries, keeping them in a constant state of bankruptcy, which in comparison, makes our own financial crisis seem not so bad. So please take my impure intentions into consideration before you rush out to see this one. But do me a favor, if you decide to skip it, at least try to do a little personal research on the WTO.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Andre 3000 has a couple of funny moments. But none of them are quite as funny as the fact that he has a four digit number in his name.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: You'll probably cry more by doing your research on the World Trade Organization-- another well intentioned group, turned evil in the face of greed.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: After the film, I sat through the first 5 minutes of a Q & A with writer-director, Stuart Townsend, during which he mentioned that they're releasing the film now because it's, "After the Summer Blockbuster season and before Awards Season." So clearly they're not expecting any.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: If you can get past Martin Henderson's New Zealand accent coming in and out of his attempt at an American one, and if you can get past Michelle Rodriguez's one-note, angry-at-the-world act, and if you can get past Connie Nielsen's spontaneous turn from caricatured bitch on wheels of a news reporter, who will do anything for a story, to a suddenly compassionate supporter of human rights... Whew-- that's a lot to get past... But my point is Andre Benjamin is delightful in all his optimism, Channing Tatum, in a very small role, gives one of his most naturalistic performances to date, and Rade Serbedzija is spot on-- so long as you can get past the fact that he's playing a French man, but when he gets angry, he curses in his native language: Yugoslavian?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Stuart Townsend, who's never directed before, does a surprisingly good job of seamlessly interweaving actual documentary footage of the events with newly shot fictional footage, involving his made up characters. He will direct again.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Also during the Q & A, Townsend mentioned that his objective was to inspire audiences to demonstrate, and to anger people into action. While I was angered, I left the theater feeling more hopeless about the individual's ability to make a difference, than I felt inspired to try it. On the other hand, it's sad that it took an Irishman to stand up and make a statement about an American historical event, that most of us here aren't even thinking about... So maybe I should at least be inspired by him.

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Ghost Town

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Due to a mishap during a colon operation, dentist Bertram Pincus (Ricky Gervais) dies for 7 minutes. Now he can see dead people, and they all want his help resolving their unfinished business, so they can cross over.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ricky Gervais, Tea Leoni, Greg Kinnear, Billy Campbell, Aasif Mandvi, Kristen Wiig, Alan Ruck, Dana Ivey, Bridget Moloney, Michael-Leon Wooley

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Even though it's exactly what you'd expect it to be, and you've probably seen something like it before, you will leave the theater smiling. And that's just generally good for all the people who have to look at you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's starring Ricky Gervais... Of course it will!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Could do...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: No, but some people in my theater applauded at the end. Which was surprising, because usually people only clap at the end of pretentious movies... Of course, the clappers soon got embarrassed, and stopped. After which several other people laughed at them. But secretly, I'm pretty sure they wanted to clap, too.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Ricky Gervais is delightful as a "MILH"-- Misanthrope I'd Like to Hug. Nobody can play a hatable jerk in more lovable manner. And Tea Leoni is one of the most talented and underused comedy actresses in Hollywood. Please go see her funny movies, so they'll give her more of 'em.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: There are a couple of moments in the middle of the second act that could be tightened to keep the pace rolling. But considering he's never directed a comedy before, David Koepp does a decent job of making sure all the laughs are on the screen. And that's a skill that sounds easier than it is.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The setup has a giant "buy," where you are forced to accept that Gervais' character will talk to Greg Kinnear but not to any of the other dead people. The only justifiable reason for this seems to be that Greg Kinnear is the famous guy with the lead role. But if you can overlook that little hiccup, the script goes on to skillfully walk a fine line of on-going double-entendres, which make Gervais' regularly insensitive comments come off as charmingly funny to Tea Leoni's character-- and you totally buy that she would hear the humor in them rather than the bitter place they're actually coming from. This especially difficult task is accomplished not once, but in several long sequence. They were lucky they got Ricky Gervais, or it might not have worked out so well for them.

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Appaloosa

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A couple of peace enforcers (Ed Harris & Viggo Mortensen) try to maintain the law in Appaloosa, which is being overrun by a bullying scoundrel (Jeremy Irons). But at its core, it's really just another movie about how women ruin everything (Renee Zellweger).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Jeremy Irons, Renee Zellweger, Cerris Morgan-Moyer, Timothy Spall, Gabriel Marantz, Lance Henriksen, Adam Nelson

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's predictable, a trifle, and without moral dilemma. To quote my friend Matthew, "People with undiscerning taste will enjoy this movie." So, go ahead. Like this movie. I dare you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Some people in my theater were laughing, but I'm not sure why.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Cowboys ain't supposed to cry. (1977 Country & Western reference, anyone?)

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Seeing this film get any recognition, besides for Cinematography, would be a disappointment.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Viggo Mortensen is always perfect, but he usually picks more interesting roles. Jeremy Irons is reminiscent of Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood, so that's probably a good thing. Ed Harris, who also directs himself, gives a textured and appropriately deadpan performance. But Renee Zellweger and her fat face make you wince the moment she appears on the screen. Not because she's such an awful actress, just because she's so unpleasant to look at, with her squinty eyes and her fake smile, and her anorexic body, which miraculously holds up her giant head. Perhaps I would be less annoyed with her physical appearance if she stopped getting cast as some kind of beauty queen, that men are willing to die over. I mean, I can only suspend disbelief so much for one movie.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Ed Harris' composition and Dean Semler's cinematography are the highlights of what this film has to offer. But Harris' pacing is so slow and monotonous that you find yourself tapping your feet impatiently, as you wait for something-- anything-- exciting to happen.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The conflict level is very light. There's a little, but most of it is predictable, as the writers often take the easy way out of each difficult situation. The main character is too accepting, so he doesn't get angry and retaliate when bad things are done to him. It's a character choice, but it's not a compelling one. And while they tried to justify his blind love for his undeserving wife by explaining that she, "Takes a bath every night," and "Keeps herself clean," you don't buy that he would be so forgiving of a woman who acts the way she does, and looks like Renee Zellweger, to boot.

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Rachel Getting Married

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A recovering addict (Anne Hathaway) comes home from rehab for her sister Rachel's (Rosemarie DeWitt) wedding, and has trouble coping with the fact that all the attention is focused on her sister's joyous day, instead of where it usually is: on her own problems.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Anne Hathaway, Rosemarie DeWitt, Bill Irwin, Debrah Winger, Mather Zickel, Anna Deavere Smith, Tunde Adibimpe, Anisa George

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! This movie is like sitting through a 5 day long wedding (in real time), where you don't know anyone, you don't care about anyone, and the one person you recognize is a completely narcissistic a-hole. Oh, yeah, and because you're actually sitting in a theater, you're not even drunk.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's got a few guffaws in the first fifteen minutes, but then you lose interest and stop paying attention.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you find anything to sympathize with in this movie, it's probably because your family dysfunction is similar to theirs, in which case you would have something to cry about. But not necessarily while watching this film.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hated it in just the right way for the "mainstream" critics and the Independent Spirit nominators to love it.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: If it weren't for Anne Hathaway's celebrity status, you would think the whole thing was actually unfolding in front of your eyes-- it's that real. Rosemarie DeWitt is natural and organic, and it's hard to remember that she's not Anne Hathaway's sister in real life. Since this review is such a major pan, I'd like to take some extra care to point out that that was a compliment for the acting.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: You know when an old pro, with a couple dozen films to his name, decides to pick up a hand-held dv cam, and pretend he's a first time director? It's like that.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Jenny Lumet is the daughter of Sidney Lumet, so God only knows how she got her big break in Hollywood with this, her first outing. I imagine she worked hard, learned her chosen skill, and persisted through all the rejection and heartache... Or more likely, she wrote a first draft, with a couple of good scenes, and when she realized she only had about 25 minutes worth of story, she filled in the rest with pointless wedding speeches, guests performing for the bride and groom, and extended dance sequences at the wedding reception. After which, she had her dad call in some favors, and got herself a movie deal... Did I mention that there's a 7 minute scene where the dad and the groom-to-be compete (in all seriousness) in a competition to see who can load the dishwasher faster? Yeah.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: In this Connecticut wedding, a Black man marries a White woman in a ceremony where everyone wears full (dot) Indian wedding regalia, for no apparent reason, and without comment. Their attire has you so confused, that you almost forget to notice the other gaping discrepancy, which is: there ain't never been a Black person in Connecticut!

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Choke

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A sex-addict (Sam Rockwell) tries to cope with his mother (Anjelica Huston), who is hospitalized with dementia, and has raised him from a place of utter craziness.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Jonah Bobo, Kelly Macdonald, Brad William Henke, Gillian Jacobs, Bijou Phillips, Clark Gregg, Paz de la Huerta, Joel Grey, Heather Burns

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. While the film is being marketed as a story about a man who fakes choking on food in restaurants, so that the strangers who save him will send him empathy money, there is far more that relates to choking the chicken, than gagging on food. This film would be more appropriately described as the tale of a complete ass who was raised by a crazy fugitive woman, and is more comfortable in a world of insanity than he is with normalcy or stability. But the fact that it's being described as something completely different than what it is, is a testament to how unfocused it feels.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Despite the above description, it is something of a comedy.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you mace yourself in the eye.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It won the Sundance Special Jury Award for work by an ensemble cast, which pretty much guarantees that the Independent Spirit Awards won't want to be left out of the honoring.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sam Rockwell is one of those actors who seems about to breakout with every role, and yet... On the bright side, I'm sure that at some point he'll win a Lifetime Achievement Award for all the work he's done that's been overlooked. Anjelica Huston is a blast to watch in all her insanity. And Jonah Bobo has been one of my favorite child actors since Zathura-- although, somehow, he hasn't made a movie since then! On the other hand, Kelly Macdonald does not hold her own against these powerhouses, and her high pitched, fake American accent is grating.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Actor, and first time director, Clark Gregg, seems perfectly comfortable on the flip side of the camera. My only note, is that at one point he shows us what the main character is thinking, as if it were a black & white film reel, playing on one of his sex-partners' back. While this reel is funny and innovative, its style is inconsistent with the look of the rest of the film.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The audience is never really given a clear understanding of why these people are doing many of the crazy things they do, because the writing only scratches the surface of justification. That's why the script ends up feeling like it's just filled with crazy people doing crazy things, and without much for those of us who consider ourselves sane to latch on to, or relate to... And yes, I do consider myself sane. Deal with it!

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Young People F***ing

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Five intercut stories, about five different types of sexual relationships (the Couple, the Best Friends, the Exes, the First Date and the Roommates), as they each try to experience a night of pleasure.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Aaron Abrams, Diora Baird, Sonja Bennett, Callum Blue, Kristin Booth, Josh Cooke, Josh Dean, Ennis Esmer, Natalie Lasinska, Peter Oldring, Carly Pope

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Stop! While the concept of examining these various different types of relationships is interesting, and the structure of "Prelude, Foreplay, Sex, Interlude, Orgasm, and Afterglow" is original, the film is neither insightful nor titillating, and it won't add much to your life besides a few new mental images of bouncing breast... Hey, that might be enough for some of you.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: With a subject matter this relatable, they can't help but muster a few good laughs. By the same token, there should've been a whole lot more.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you're in a couple, the poignant reminders of how hard it is to keep your sex life interesting once you know all your partner's tricks could be saddening.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: In a sea of indy films that will never see the light of day, this one is lucky to be released at all. And the filmmakers should consider that to be the highest of honors.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: The story, having clearly been written and conceived by actors, plays like a series of scene study exercises. Thankfully, this cast is made up of the star-students from each acting class.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: For a movie that's supposed to be about Young People F***ing, there sure are a lot of talking heads! And unfortunately, I am talking about the head bone connected to the neck bone.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: If you're gonna give your film such an edgy title, you'd better have something new, clever and deeply perceptive to say about sexual relationships and how they improve and/or ruin a person's life. Otherwise, the title just seems like a marketing ploy, making your audience feel like the suckers who fell for it. I've been had.

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Burn After Reading

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An aging gym employee (Frances McDormand) becomes obsessed with reinventing herself through a cosmetic surgery procedure she can't afford. So when her co-worker (Brad Pitt) accidentally comes across a secret CIA file, she will go to any length to get paid for returning it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, Richard Jenkins, David Rasche, J.K. Simmons, Olek Krupa, Elizabeth Marvel, Dermot Mulroney

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Finally the Coen Brothers make a movie I can get behind! (While it's clear that I'm partially trying to piss off you die-hard Coen Brothers fans, let's be honest, it has been a while since they've made a movie that can be recommended without reservations or caveats.)

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Most of the characters in this film are cold, heartless, or selfish, and in some cases all of the above. So that's funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but it you're offended by swearing you should know that a good 40% of the dialogue in this film consists of the singular phrase, "What the F*#k!" Oh, sorry, did I offend you there?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's a Coen Brothers movie, what do you think?!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: If Brad Pitt weren't already one of the biggest stars in the world, this would be his breakout performance. Because sometimes the coolest thing you can do is play a total dork. Meanwhile, John Malkovich turns in another performance that's too good for award recognition. In other words, he's so believable that you completely forget he's acting, and therefore don't give him credit for being mind-blowingly good. (See Being John Malkovich for the most pertinent example of him being too good for recognition.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It goes without saying that this is the area of filmmaking in which this team can do no wrong. Especially when it comes to comedies, their exaggeratedly high and low wide angles, which characterize their over-the-top style, is so engrossing that I can't figure out why more directors aren't blatantly ripping it off.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: After their last pointless movie, it's nice to see the Coen Brothers make a movie with a point. Ironically, the point may be that there is no point. But at least they make a point about it.

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Man on Wire

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: This documentary tells the story of French tightrope walker, Philippe Petit, and his attempt to do his act in between the two World Trade Center buildings.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Philippe Petit, Annie Allix, Jean-Louis Blondeau, Jean-Francois Heckel, Jim Moore, Barry Greenhouse, David Foreman, Alan Welner, and "The Australian".

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. While the daring behind this amazing feet is impressive, and the lengths to which all these people went to illegally pull it off is insane, the ending leaves you wondering what emotion the film is trying to incite.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yeah, because performance artists are crazy!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Beware if you have a fear of heights, some of the shots will make you queasy.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: They wouldn't want any. Because art is beautiful! And awards are ugly.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Sometimes people cry, and I don't know why...

Q: How is the Directing?

A: James March does a great job of gathering tons of authentic footage of these people in the 70s, (which is when this death-defying act occurred). But the re-enactment scenes get a little cheesy when they show the fake actor's faces, and you realize it's not the real people.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There's something going on under the surface of this story, that for some reason is not shared with the audience. Some deep meaning, that I wish I knew... Alas, I was not there to experience it, and shall hence be forever left in the dark.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Seeing the Twin Towers in all their glory, and even watching them be built, has a tangential emotional effect, considering their now-known impending doom. This story of a young French man, whose psyche was overwhelmed by the mere idea that these two giant towers would go up and be the tallest in the world, only reinforces the deeper meaning those buildings used to have to people around the world, when they would think of America. And yet, at the same time, as his team reveals how they were able to go under cover and break into the buildings to pull off this illicit stunt, it makes you realize how vulnerable they've always been to terrorist acts.

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