30 Minutes or Less

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A pizza delivery boy (Jesse Eisenberg) wakes up strapped to a bomb, with a pair of small time criminals (Danny McBride & Nick Swardson) demanding that he rob a bank for $100,000 if he wants to get out of exploding.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, Nick Swardson, Dilshad Vadsaria, Michael Pena, Bianca Kajlich, Fred Ward

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's incredibly dumb, but not dumb enough to be awesome.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The funniest clips are in the trailer, and to add insult to injury, even those are slightly funnier when taken out of the context of the film.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No emotions of any kind will be had.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Funniest panel at Comic Con. If you weren't one of the thousand people at that panel, you may never discover how truly hilarious the actors in this film actually are. Because it's not particularly clear from watching this film.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Aziz Ansari is such a bad actor that he makes Jesse Eisenberg seem like he's over-acting just for hitting his emotions at appropriate levels. And Michael Pena, whose resume includes just about everything serious that's ever been made, turns out to be something of a comic genius... After this performance, I have a feeling that he will get a speedy welcome into the club.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The opening car scene is pretty awesome... and then you never notice the directing again.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: So after getting a bomb strapped to you, you go to your best friend who is a school teacher, and you say "Rob a bank with me," at which point he deserts his classroom full of children and agrees to rob a bank with you. Think about that... Yeah, there's no world in which it happens that way. Here's a possible alternative. You rob a bank by yourself, while your best friend calls the cops to explain why you're robbing the bank, and then the cops, using their years of professional knowledge and expertise, devise a strategy to get you out of that bomb. And don't get me started on the dialogue.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: 30 Minutes or Less Trailer

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The Change-Up

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A married man (Jason Bateman) and a single man (Ryan Reynolds) switch bodies and try not to f-up each other's lives.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Sydney Rouviere, Mircea Monroe, Grogory Itzin, Ned Schmidtke, Lo Ming, Craig Bierko, Bailey Anne Borders

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. If you go to a body-switch movie, and your main complaint is that the set-up and the ending are predictable, then you only have yourself to blame. That's what body-switch movies do. You're supposed to watch a body-switch movie for the second act. That's where you get to find out if the actors where able to transform to the point of making you believe they are inhabited by the other, and it's where you get to see the ways in which they screw up each other's lives while they are inhabiting them. So let's talk about the second act, which isn't anywhere near as bad as the buzz on it. In fact, once it's released on VOD and DVD, I predict that many people will find themselves telling a friend, "You know what I saw last night, that wasn't half bad?"

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not out loud much, because the writers rely too heavily on swear words instead of humor, and the insulting nicknames the characters lob at each other incessantly quickly begin to feel overbearing and self-conscious.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: What makes me cry most is how all the nerds and haters are so quick to say this movie is the end of the raunchy R-rated comedy being hot. Some of us love comedies, don't consider them a phase but rather a necessity, and don't start screaming about how it's the end of your stupid comic book movies, just because Green Lantern came out and sucked. (Disclaimer: I didn't see it.) Hey, I'm noticing a pattern. Maybe we could all get along if we instead went around screaming that it's the end of Ryan Reynolds?

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'm giving Judd Apatow a Tolerance Award for letting the mother of his children show her boobs. It takes a truly secure man to be okay with that... Or maybe a truly twisted one. Either way, we should start counting down to their divorce.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jason Bateman does an amazing job of making you forget that he doesn't actually have Ryan Reynolds inside his body. Ryan Reynolds does an amazing job of making you forget why he's become such a hot commodity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David Dobkin directed Wedding Crashers, so my first instinct is never to say anything bad... But. There are several pivotal pissing scenes, where we get full frontal shots, and before you get all grossed out, let me clarify that my complaint is that neither one of these men seems to have a penis. Now I know you can't show that in an R-rated movie, but what I don't know is why the director chose to shoot an angle that makes it so obvious that they're holding little water hoses rigged to come out of their flies. It would have been so easy to use only angles that don't show the pants' opening. The way it is shot, you can't help but peek, and seeing nothing there is disturbing.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: From the writers of The Hangover, comes a film that feels like it's from the writers of an ABC Family Film-- with tits, swearing, and male leads. I think the lesson here is that you shouldn't try to do a body-switch movie for the R-rated audience. It would seem they don't care for the conceit. Oh well, I guess I'd better scrap my plans to write that body-switch movie between a hooker and her pimp.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Change-Up Trailer

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