Cowboys & Aliens

(Guest Review by Jack)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: With a title like that, you have to ask?

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig are the cowboys. CGI wizards are the aliens...

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It has a lot of summer popcorn scenes that you should like, but none of them have any "wow!" And the genre mash-up is not enough to keep it fresh.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If you do, it'll be at that stupid title.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Doubts... Other than the tears that I shed after reading Russ’ great review for Captain America. I let the movie time pick between the two. I guess I lost...

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I doubt that even MTV wants to reward this one.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: An over the top Harrison Ford is enjoyable, but his easy turn from the “bad guy” to the “good guy” makes his character a big mess. And Daniel Craig is always fun to watch in my opinion, but in this story, even his charisma couldn’t keep me from looking at my watch. Olivia Wilde is a hottie, for sure. She says very little in the film until a dumb plot twist makes her say a lot. Not necessarily a good thing...

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The strong suit of an action film should be the action sequences. Jon Favreau did well with the first Iron Man, but this is a different story. The action is just okay. Not a single scene makes me want to see it again.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's just cowboys fighting aliens... which is its biggest draw and its biggest fault.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Cowboys & Aliens Trailer

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Kung Fu Panda 2

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Po the Kung Fu fighting Panda (Jack Black) is tasked to save China and Kung Fu from a military weapon built by an evil peacock (Gary Oldman-- of course).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Gary Oldman, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, David Cross, James Hong, Michelle Yeoh, Danny McBride, Dennis Haysbert, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Victor Garber

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. With the lethal combination of feeling more geared toward the kiddies, while at the same time being too action packed with violence for many kiddies, it's just not as good as the first one.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not as much as the first one... by which I mean very little.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Not as much as the first one... by which I mean not at all.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Sequel in which I Most Would Have Liked a Refresher on the Dynamic of the Team. I didn't remember any of the characters' traits from the first one, and they aren't clearly defined in this second part... But I guess most kids have watched the first one at least 45 times by now.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Is it just me, or is Angelina Jolie boring as hell? On a positive note, I enjoyed lesser-known actor James Hong's performance so much, I actually thought I was listening to Ken Jeong. (For the sake of clarity, I'd like to explain that by "lesser-known," I mean that despite his 56 year career, which includes about 100 movies and 150 TV series, I've never personally heard of him.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Jennifer Yuh makes interesting artistic choices, like distinguishing the past from the present by using a distinctively old-fashioned, 2-dimensional, Chinese style of animation for the past. Her style is noticeable throughout, as you find yourself often paying attention to the shots and camera angles, my favorite of which is a parody of the Pac Man video game-- which is no doubt setting itself up to be a basis for the Kung Fu Panda 2 video game.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Sequels are tough. How do you move beyond an origin story and keep it fresh? The writers of this script clearly do not know the answers to that question either.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Kung Fu Panda 2 Trailer

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Sucker Punch

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When an evil step-father institutionalizes his daughter (Emily Browning) to cover up a murder he committed, she meets four other girls (Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, & Jamie Chung) who are presumably not crazy like her and together they come up with a plan to escape the mental asylum by navigating three levels of reality.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Oscar Isaac, Jon Hamm, Scott Glenn

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed With Caution. Fans of computer games will probably like it, with the caution that you don't get to actually be any of the characters. Every one else – you know, the average person who goes to a movie to be entertained by a well-told visual story? Well if that's you, your mileage may vary.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: It's a downer thanks to its subject matter. I can't remember a single time I laughed, or even cracked a smile. But my mouth was agape a few times over the shots this director pulled off.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Even without much of a story, the ending is kind of touching thanks to the talent of Abbie Cornish. So if you wind up crying, don't say you haven't been warned.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I think the executives responsible for 'greenlighting' this project should be given awards. Pink ones. Made out of paper.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: After you get past the fact that this film mainly exists to dress up hot young girls in slutty school girl outfits fabricated to make them appear as whoreish as possible, you might vaguely recall that all of these actresses did good work in the past. The acting talent shines through a little at a time, like sunlight through a bullet-ridden wall, but they can only do so much with the cardboard cutout characters the script provided them with. Maybe because she's older, Carla Gugino fares better. I didn't even know it was her until the end credits, but she's a definite highlight here.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: : I will confess that after the back-to-back awesomeness of Dawn of the Dead and 300, Zack Snyder became one of my favorite directors. With this film he continues to show what a talented visual stylist he is, like the one long continuous take of two actors sitting at mirrors that is so amazing it should be featured on one of those shows where that masked magician reveals how the trick was actually done. But he's also in charge of telling a cohesive and engaging story, and on that side of the spectrum, I'm afraid he grades out to an F this time.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: There's a good conceit in which the film gets into the main character's head by using three levels of 'reality' to tell the story. Considering it's set in a mental institution, the idea is a logical one. Beyond that though, the heroine's journey becomes repetitive, boring and a bit non-sensical, and then just when you think it can't get any more depressing, it does. Maybe the Sucker Punch of the title refers to how most people will feel after paying money to see this.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Sucker Punch Trailer

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The Green Hornet

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A spoiled rich kid (Seth Rogen) who's mad at his dead dad (Tom Wilkinson) teams up with his dad's newly unemployed barrista/mechanic (Jay Chou) to fight crime in Los Angeles.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz, Tom Wilkinson, David Harbour, Edward James Olmos, Jamie Harris, Chad Coleman, Edward Furlong

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. There is something very exciting about this movie... But it might just be the car.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is very dark and a little weird. I liked it... But I might have just been excited about that car.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Seth Rogen loses his mother, then his father... But I mostly felt bad about what happened to the car.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Better Car than the Batmobile. Yeah, I said it, Batmaniacs, bring it on!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jay Chou is not John Cho with a Chinese accent. Although, he's equally as funny, in a much more Taiwanese way.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Michel Gondry plays down his abilities for the first time ever, simply telling the story without drawing excessive attention to his own superb directing skillz. He only showboats in two scenes. The first one is the opening party scene which feels forced and out of place next to the style of the rest of the film. The second showboating scene, though, where all of L.A.'s criminals spread the word about a million dollar bounty, leads your eye in so many interesting directions that you want to watch it more than once just to figure out how he did it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Seth Rogen co-wrote the script, so I'm surprised he didn't make his own character a little more likeable. It's probably the one thing that could've really taken this movie from slightly off-putting and vaguely disturbing to just plain great.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Green Hornet Trailer

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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls for a girl (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who has 7 evil exes that he must defeat, for no reason in particular.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Ellen Wong, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, Johnny Simmons, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaze, Chris Evans, Jason Schwartzman, Brandon Routh, Satya Bhabha, Brie Larson, Mae Whitman, Keita Saitou, Shota Saito, Ben Lewis

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This film is all style and no substance. But there always seems to be some idiot who gloms onto that sort of a thing and calls it a cult classic.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The style is pretty funny at times, but when I say style, I'm talking about dialogue more pretentious than in Juno.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, because you won't give a crap about anybody in it... not in you heart anyway.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Best Directing. Bet you didn't think I'd say that?

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Kieran Culkin steals the show because he has the best lines. And Anna Kendrick-- is there anything she's not in?

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Edgar Wright's visuals are the only reason anyone will be fooled into thinking this is a good movie.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Don't expect to care about anybody, or even understand why Scott Pilgrim likes the girl he has to fight for. Also prepare to wonder where he gets his superpowers to fight these exes, why the exes turn into money when they are defeated, and by the way, how he defeats any of them, when in most cases it looks like they killed him first, multiple times. Basically, we are shown a surrealistic world of magical reality, but the rules of the world and the magic are never set up or explained to us.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: It tries to be a live action videogame, probably in order to pander to the young male audience that no one seems to be able to reach because they're busy playing actual video games. Since there's no user participation in this viewing experience, I don't see any reason for that audience to come out and see this. So why don't we all just accept that that audience is done with movies, and start making movies for the people who actually like to go to them. Like, for example, girls.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/scott-pilgrim-vs-the-world/35215/trailers

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The Forbidden Kingdom

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A nerdy American teenager, obsessed with Kung Fu movies, is destined to return a magical staph to its rightful owner, the Monkey King, who is one of the Eight Immortals in the Forbidden Kingdom.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michael Angarano, Collin Chou, Yifei Liu, Bingbing Li

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. You will enjoy the Martial Arts fights, but the story is by the numbers, and the main character is underdeveloped.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Not as much as a campy movie like this should.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: No, but it might make you wish you were re-watching The Karate Kid instead.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's close to being the first Hollywood-China co-production to open in China. This of course is pending China's censorship board approving it, and Hollywood getting its head out of its butt and remembering that China is the world's capital of piracy.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: As is his way, Jackie Chan is over the top. Jet Li also has a few false moments-- but only when he's talking.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The fights are captured well and the visuals are appealing, but it's not as pretty as movies like Hero or House of Flying Daggers.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Predictable, and clearly ripping off a little bit of every movie in this genre that came before it... which sometimes is a blessing in disguise, because when you can't understand what the actors are saying (which is often), it's a relief to know that you can reach into your memory of what happens in other films, and follow along.

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