A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Harold & Kumar (John Cho & Kal Penn) are no longer friends because Harold is married and has decided that Kumar's friendship is trouble.  Now Harold needs to find a 12 foot Christmas tree to appease his father-in-law (Danny Trejo), and Kumar still loves him enough to help him, despite the fact that Harold has become a stuck-up douchebag.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A:  Kal Penn, John Cho, Danny Trejo, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, Paula Garces, Elias Koteas, Jordan Hinson, Patton Oswalt, Bobby Lee, Ashley Coss, Chloe Coss, Hannah Coss, RZA, Da'Vone McDonald, Yasen Peyankov, John Hoogenakker, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, Neil Patrick Harris, Daneel Ackles, Bennett Saltzman, Jake M. Johnson, Richard Riehle

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A:  Proceed with Caution.  It's wacky, but not in a clever way.  The most interesting thing is the weird ways in which they attempt to use the 3D psychedelically.  But I still hate 3D.  First it makes me dizzy, and then it puts me to sleep.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A:  The funniest parts are around a baby's first drug trips, so that's bound to be really unfunny to parents-- mostly because parents have no sense of humor about how kids do the darndest things!

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A:  Actually, it is sort of depressing at the beginning, when you see these two best friends who no longer talk.  Why do people who get married think they're so much better than those who don't?  Have they forgotten that over 50% of marriages end in divorce?  Do they think they're unsusceptible to that statistic?  Seriously married people, get off your high horses, and respect those people who were there for you when you were just a lonely loser, you may need them again sooner than you think.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Despite Your Highness's best efforts, this one takes the award for longest penis.

Q: How is the Acting?

A:  Even after his hiatus to work in the White House, Kal Penn has not forgotten how to act and be charming.  A few others start to break out in some of the miniscule roles, allowing you to picture them in bigger parts in future movies, including Jake Johnson of The New Girl, Bobby Lee of Mad TV, and Amir Blumenfeld of pretty much nothing.

Q: How is the Directing?

A:  The 3D effects are noticeable, especially when you consider that Todd Strauss-Schluson is essentially a first time feature director.  Aside from those, it could have been directed by anybody.

Q: How is the story/script?

A:  I just wish that Harold & Kumar had rekindled their friendship earlier on, because while the plot is clearly meant to be about the rekindling, the script is missing the love that used to be the reason Harold would put up with or go along with all of Kumar's hijinks.  Without the love, it's just one character annoying another, and that's not funny.  It's sad.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

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The Square

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A man's (David Roberts) elicit lover (Claire van der Boom) finds out that her husband (Anthony Hayes) has secretly stashed away a whole bunch of money, which he probably acquired illegally. When the lovers plan to steal the money and run away together, the steps they take to cover their tracks make things worse and worse and worse and worse for them.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: David Roberts, Claire van der Boom, Joel Edgerton, Anthony Hayes, Peter Phelps, Hanna Mangan Lawrence, Brendan Donoghue, Lucy Bell, Kieran Darcy-Smith, Damon Herriman, Bill Hunter

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's never quite clear what the couple's plan is from the start, and there are several moments when you wonder what they are thinking with their actions and reactions. But there's a short film by the director that plays before the feature, and that's pretty good.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The short film ends on one of the darkest, sickest belly laughs you've ever had.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: There is no one to root for, because everyone in this is at a complete lack for morals. You won't cry for the characters, but it is sad when a baby almost dies.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This was a very important film in Australia, if you judge by the 13 nominations it accumulated on that continent. But if this film had been made independently in America, it probably wouldn't have gotten picked up for distribution, except maybe on Netflix.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Nobody is bad, but despite the cute accents and home-grown expressions, I didn't see any star making performances either.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Nash Edgerton's style truly stands out. Most of the scares and shocks come from the way in which he shoots one angle, and then surprises you with something you had no way to see coming-- because it comes from off camera. Abruptly. His technique is interesting and original, but he uses it in the short film, so by the time you get to the feature, he starts to look like a one trick pony.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The story beats also quickly begin to feel like cheap tricks, as people get accidentally killed and injured out of nowhere on a regular basis, almost as a convenience to jolt you back into the story every time your interest starts to wane. If nothing else, the movie helps you realize how fragile human life is, and how quickly it can come to an end over nothing. So, Watch Out!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/the-square/38042/trailers

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Lymelife

(Guest Review by Russ)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Set during the late 70s, a fifteen-year-old boy grapples with first love while dealing with a chaotic home life involving his constantly quarreling parents.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Rory Culkin, Emma Roberts, Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Jill Hennessy, Kieran Culkin, Cynthia Nixon

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This is a paint-by-numbers ‘indie’ developed through the Sundance Institute which helps explain its pedigree both in front of and behind the cameras (e.g. Martin Scorsese is a producer on it). You’ve seen variations on it before many times, and since this film is dated, I'm going to allow myself to use a dated joke: I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was called The Ice Storm.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The other reviewers make it sound like a yuck-fest from beginning to end-- don’t believe them! It's not a comedy, which isn't to say that you won't chuckle here and there-- if you’re paying attention.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if you’re intimate with the horror that is lyme disease.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Coming out in April…? Despite fine performances, I would guess that the distributors of this film have written off major award consideration.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s a terrific cast and they all give terrific performances. Rory Culkin is in just about every scene – it’s very much his film – and his angular, oddly handsome face perfectly expresses the confusion, anger and bemusement of a 15 year-old boy going through major life-changes. The revelation is Emma Roberts (Julia’s niece) as the precocious love object of Rory’s affections. She goes from sexy to vulnerable – and everything in between – within the heartbeat of a single scene (multiple times) breaking down every stereotype of a 16 year-old teenager that ever existed. The adults are all good too – even Timothy Hutton in a pointless and thankless supporting role.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Apparently this is a pretty low-budget film, but it looks really good – getting the Long Island setting period detail (late 70s) just right. The film is small and intimate, and the direction is given over to letting the performances shine and in that regard it’s more than competent. The tone is also consistent but it’s not as ‘quirky funny’ as the filmmakers probably think it is.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: So about a half-hour into this you start to realize there’s no plot and maybe – unlike myself – you are fine with that because you rarely expect indie films to have plots because supposedly a plot would not make it very ‘indie.’ I miss having plots when they aren’t there regardless of what kind of movie it is. This movie would have been better with a plot, but as ‘coming-of-age’/'slice-of-life’ films go, it’s fine and will most likely hold your interest thanks to Rory Culkin and Emma Robert’s performances.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/search/lymelife/trailers

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Expired

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Two lonely meter maids (Samantha Morton and Jason Patric) enter into an emotionally abusive relationship that just might have a chance of working.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Samantha Morton, Jason Patric, Teri Garr, Illeana Douglas, Sonia Iris Lozada, Jonny Mack, Joanne Baron

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This movie has moments of twisted genius, the likes of which haven't been seen since the indies of the 90s, such as Happiness, Chuck and Buck, and In the Company of Men. If that sounds good to you, get out there and see this one.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Squeal is more like it, as your laughter will be squirming its way through your reluctant gut on its way out of your mouth.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: That depends on how many parking tickets you're in the habit of getting.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Yes, it will be up for at least 4 Independent Spirit Awards-- pick any category you'd like.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jason Patric is a Tour de Force. And yes, I've been dying for the right opportunity to use that expression, which literally translated means, "Other actors will bow down and kneel in his presence." Don't question me, I speak French!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Sometimes it draws a bit too much attention to itself, panning around for no reason. But it's nice to see a first time feature director taking a few risks-- so long as they don't interfere with my viewing pleasure.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Darkly comic, sadly realistic, and cringe inducing... in a good way.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: There are a few scenes that take place on the street where I live. So if you're thinking about stalking me, there's a clue.

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