The Illusionist

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A failing Parisian Illusionist travels to Scotland to find work and accidentally picks up a poor young stowaway, who turns out to be something of a gold-digger, which forces our aging Illusionist to find increasingly more degrading ways to make money in order to buy her things.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: It's animated and the sparse words spoken in the piece are deliberately incomprehensible, even to people who think they understand French and English.

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's highly artistic and aimed at the thinking crowd.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Sure, if you like to laugh at things you have to think about first.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The ending is pretty depressing... But also goes without saying. I mean, what was he thinking would happen?!

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Feature. Too bad it's up against the very best film of the year, Toy Story 3.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I can honestly say that there isn't any.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The animation of the scenery is beautiful. It makes you want to go to Edinburgh. Speaking of which, if any of you wants to go there, I have a friend who's producing a series of one-man/one-woman shows at the Edinburgh Theater Festival, and she's still looking for some acts for this year, so if you have a completed piece, let me know in the comments section.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: It's based on an unproduced script written by the late French actor and icon, Jacques Tati. While alive, Tati was one of France's most famous movie stars. In fact, he still is, despite having passed almost 30 years ago. My point is that this is not a man who had any trouble getting a movie made if he wanted to, so if this script remained unproduced there's probably a reason for that. I'm just sayin'.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Illusionist Trailer

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From Prada to Nada

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: This aptly titled movie is about two rich sisters (Alexa Vega & Camilla Belle) of Mexican decent, who after their father dies, are forced to move from Beverly Hills to the barrio.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Camilla Belle, Alexa Vega, Wilmer Valderrama, Nicholas D'Agosto, Adriana Barraza, April Bowlby, Pablo Cruz, Kuno Becker, Karla Souza

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Supposedly this is based on Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen, which maybe they shouldn't announce in the opening credits, because it gives away the whole story. And right when you think the movie couldn't get any more predictable, too.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Many of the jokes border on racism, despite the fact that they are being delivered by a character of Mexican decent.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Their dad dies to set the action in motion. Then they find out he was broke, and left them nothing but debt. And then they move to a neighborhood where they're pretty sure they're going to get killed. And after all that, you still won't feel like crying.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I'd give it a Razzie for Make-Up, with an assist going to the Casting Director. Camilla Belle is about as white as snow, and no matter how much orange pancake makeup you put on her, she is never going to pass for Mexican... She might be able to land herself a spot on the Jersey Shore, though.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: I'm gonna blame the director's editing choices for the unfortunate misses in the performance department. From the opening montage, you can tell that he has no sense of rhythm or comic timing, and the actors, though their performances could have been absolutely passable, fall victim to the off-pace of the cuts, which make them seem like they are performing for an audience of slower than average mind capacity.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Aside from ruining the actor's performances, there are several shots that are blurry because the focus is pulled to the person in the foreground, rather than the one your eyes are struggling to look at in the background. To make matters worse, this appeared to be a deliberate stylistic choice.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: For as low rent as this story is, the (small) audience I saw it with felt compelled to applaud at the end. So you can imagine my surprise when the lights came up and I found out that most of them were well over 50 years old. I was even more surprised to hear them in the bathroom, afterward, discussing how "cute" the movie was... And I thought old people were supposed to be wise?

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Yes, I'm just as tired of giving out Yellow Lights, as you are of reading about them. But it's not my fault. Somebody make a great movie, already!

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: From Prada to Nada Trailer

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The Way Back

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: The possibly true story, as told in the memoir, "The Long Walk," about a group of World War II prisoners who escaped a Siberian prison (that's in the USSR) and walked all the way to freedom in India. Of course, not everybody makes it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jim Sturgess, Ed Harris, Colin Farrell, Saoirse Ronan, Dragos Bucur, Alexandru Potocean, Gustaf Skarsgard, Sebastian Urzendowsky, Mark Strong

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. I think the movie is well over two hours in an effort to make you feel just how difficult and how long this trek was.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: One of the characters is considered the "Jokester" so... no.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Even as people die you kind of feel relieved for them.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I hope it's not too late for the Make-Up to get a nomination. Never have I seen skin so beautifully damaged disgustingly by the sun.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: This is the first movie that I have ever liked Colin Farrell in. He plays a Russian, and for some reason the accent goes perfectly with his over-acting. (Yes, I did see In Bruges. Check the blog archives for how annoyed I was with all his mugging.)

Q: How is the Directing?

A: A lot of nice landscapes, but not much is done with them. That said, I would not have wanted to be the poor schmuck who had to direct this movie. Between the snow, the desert, and the vast mountain ranges, the conditions looked like they had all the right ingredients to make for a very cranky crew.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The most interesting thing about this screenplay is that it's a true story. That would be really amazing, except that there's some speculation about just how true it is. A doctor once told me that humans can out-walk any other animal, so that was one reason I was intrigued by this premise. Then again, when I'm lost on a hike or in a foreign country I try not to remember that the guy was a head-doctor, not a body-doctor.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Way Back Trailer

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No Strings Attached

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A guy and a girl (Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) decide to use each other for sex, without any expectation that it'll go anywhere.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Kline, Cary Elwes, Greta Gerwig, Lake Bell, Olivia Thirlby, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Jake Johnson, Mindy Kaling, Talia Balsam, Ophelia Lovibond, Guy Branum, Ben Lawson, Jennifer Irwin, Adhir Kalyan, Abby Elliott

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Everybody knows that when you don't have any expectations, that's when things go well. And everybody also knows exactly how this story is going to go well. But what it lacks in conflict, suspense, and surprises, it makes up for in utter cuteness.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: More than a lot of romantic comedies, but less than a lot of R-rated comedies.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: It's all too predictable to get you crying, but when Kevin Kline tears up it's actually one of the better laughs.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Most Authentic Performance by an Actress in a Romantic Comedy. I don't know what it is that Natalie Portman is doing, but it just works.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Ashton Kutcher finally found a leading lady who's prettier than he is! Also, beautiful guest performance by Lake Bell. What she does in this movie isn't as obvious as she makes it look.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I once had a directing teacher who said that 90% of a director's work is having good taste in material. And that's what Ivan Reitman does best. I know this because I've seen an s-load of his movies, and I can't remember a single shot from any of them. Okay, that's a lie, there is one shot I remember-- but who could forget the slow pan, in Twins, over to Arnold Schwarzenegger's starry-eyed grin, after the first time he has sex?

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The premise holds together by a string because Ashton Kutcher is clearly in love with Natalie Portman from the first, second, third, and forth time they meet. So when they say things like, "Let's keep doing this until one of us starts to have feelings for the other," it rings completely false because he already has feelings for her. Meanwhile, her excuses for not getting more involved with him are convoluted, contradictory, and mostly very thin.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The line from the trailer where he says he can't date her because she's his oldest friend is not in the movie. This is not a friends with benefits situation, because they were never friends first. I kept waiting for the part where they would be friends, and it never came. This lacking element caused me great confusion about why they weren't giving a relationship a shot, since they were already in one.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: No Strings Attached Trailer

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The Green Hornet

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A spoiled rich kid (Seth Rogen) who's mad at his dead dad (Tom Wilkinson) teams up with his dad's newly unemployed barrista/mechanic (Jay Chou) to fight crime in Los Angeles.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz, Tom Wilkinson, David Harbour, Edward James Olmos, Jamie Harris, Chad Coleman, Edward Furlong

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. There is something very exciting about this movie... But it might just be the car.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: The humor is very dark and a little weird. I liked it... But I might have just been excited about that car.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Seth Rogen loses his mother, then his father... But I mostly felt bad about what happened to the car.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Better Car than the Batmobile. Yeah, I said it, Batmaniacs, bring it on!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Jay Chou is not John Cho with a Chinese accent. Although, he's equally as funny, in a much more Taiwanese way.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Michel Gondry plays down his abilities for the first time ever, simply telling the story without drawing excessive attention to his own superb directing skillz. He only showboats in two scenes. The first one is the opening party scene which feels forced and out of place next to the style of the rest of the film. The second showboating scene, though, where all of L.A.'s criminals spread the word about a million dollar bounty, leads your eye in so many interesting directions that you want to watch it more than once just to figure out how he did it.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Seth Rogen co-wrote the script, so I'm surprised he didn't make his own character a little more likeable. It's probably the one thing that could've really taken this movie from slightly off-putting and vaguely disturbing to just plain great.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Green Hornet Trailer

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The Dilemma

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: When a guy (Vince Vaughn) finds out that his best friend's wife (Winona Ryder) is cheating, he has to figure out whether or not to tell him (Kevin James)... But really he's just figuring out how to tell him, because he's pretty much going to do it.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connelly, Winona Ryder, Channing Tatum, Queen Latifah, Amy Morton, Chelcie Ross

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. This movie doesn't live up to any of its participants' usual standards... not even Kevin James'. Thankfully, most audiences don't hold Hollywood films to much of a standard... especially Kevin James'.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Someone who was involved with this film warned me beforehand that one should really approach this movie as if it were a drama, because it's not funny.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: As mentioned above, it is a drama, so... no.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: Remember when GLAAD got all up in arms about the preview in which Vince Vaughn calls the electric car gay? Well they didn't take the joke out, and they should have! Not because the joke was offensive, but because it was gay. For that, I'm giving GLAAD the Most Embarrassing Attempt to Create Controversy Out of Nothing Award, for their work on The Dilemma. They should have targeted one of the many movies with gay jokes that are actually funny. Those are the ones people will repeat to their friends.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Winona Ryder is the only one in the lot who should add this film to her showcase reel. And maybe Channing Tatum, too, because he needs to show that he can play a role besides "guy in the military."

Q: How is the Directing?

A: For a Ron Howard movie, it's really ugly. I'm guessing that his cinematographer, Salvatore Totino, was offended that he suddenly got relegated to shooting a comedy, and the lighting in this film was his way of sticking it to the man.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The real dilemma with this premise is that there is no dilemma. If it's your best friend and you know for a fact that he's being duped, you tell. The only real issue is figuring out when and how to present it, and that just doesn't have enough conflict or suspense to rest a whole movie script on.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The invention the main characters are trying to sell to Queen Latifah is stupid. If people want electric cars that make more engine noise (which is crazy that they would), then why don't they just link an additional sound system to the movement of the gas pedal that makes it sound like it's making more noise depending on how hard you step on the gas? If you balance the bass right, it'll even make the car shake-- as proven since the 1980s, by every low rider to ever have pumped up the bass on their rap music. So why would anyone build a whole new engine just to make more noise? Anyway, the people who want noisy engines are never buying electric cars in the first place. If they cared about people or the environment enough to buy an electric car, they wouldn't be so rude as to purposely cause their cars to create eardrum-busting noise pollution causing innocent passerbys to jump out of their skin-- do your market research, people! You've missed your demo.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Dilemma Trailer

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True Grit

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A 14-year-old girl (Hailee Steinfeld) is determined to avenge the murder of her father, so she hires a ruthless Marshall (Jeff Bridges) and they accidentally team up with a cocky Texas Ranger (Matt Damon), on their hunt through the wild west, to find an inconsequential criminal (Josh Brolin).

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper, Dakin Matthews, Jarlath Conroy, Paul Rae, Domhnall Gleeson, Elizabeth Marvel

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. Contrary to popular belief, this movie isn't for everyone. It's for people who love Westerns, and/or people who love the Coen Brothers. Note: I said "love," not "like."

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: I'm pretty sure Jeff Bridges said a lot of funny things, but he mumbles so much that without closed captioning, you won't understand any of them.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The number one problem with this film is that you don't care about anybody. They're all cold hearted jerks, including the kid, so I dare you to find someone to cry for.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: The Cinematography is award-worthy. The remainder of the buzz is poppycock.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Hailee Steinfeld is good for a 14-year-old, but completely average for a person of normal-age. Let's not start giving out awards to people just for being young-- that would only aggravate the problem. Jeff Bridges is incomprehensible. And right when you think you've understood just about as little as you can understand, Matt Damon gets his tongue mangled, so that he can't articulate anymore either. Regardless of all that, the actors seem to struggle severely throughout due to the absence of their beloved contractions... Turns out, it's not so easy for even the most professional of them to sound natural when saying things like, "I will do it," when inside they're clearly dying to say, "I'll do it."

Q: How is the Directing?

A: I've never had anything bad to say about the Coens as directors, and I doubt I ever will, but this, their most profitable film ever, has much less of their signature style in it, and aside from the final shot of a woman in black walking away from us, none of the shots in this film stand out as particularly memorable.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Aside from making the lead character a smart-talking 14-year-old girl, the story line seems particularly unoriginal. And the fact that it's a remake makes the whole 14-year-old girl idea not so original either. The dialogue is clever, though, if you're able to understand it.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: Sorry for my assessment on this one. Feel free to yell at me in the comments section about all the reasons this movie is brilliant.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: True Grit Trailer

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Another Year

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: An old married couple (Jim Broadbent & Ruth Sheen) deals with all the tragically desperate single people around them.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jim Broadbent, Lesley Manville, Ruth Sheen, Oliver Maltman, Peter Wight, David Bradley, Martin Savage, Karina Fernandez, Michele Austin, Phil Davis, Imelda Staunton

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. It's tragically long and desperately tragic, but the acting is so mesmerizing, that it's almost worth enduring.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Isn't "desperate" a quality that's always funny?-- I mean, when it's another person's desperation.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Okay, you're right, desperation is tragically depressing regardless of whose it is.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: This film may actually contain this year's Best Performance by a man or a woman. But Leslie Manville will probably get screwed out of her deserved Academy Award because Natalie Portman's got all the hype. My advice, go for Supporting and win!

Q: How is the Acting?

A: A series of well executed subtle and not-so-subtle shared looks and glances tell stories more complex than any words ever could.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: In making movies like Happy-Go-Lucky and Topsy-Turvy, Mike Leigh has tried to fool us into thinking that he makes upbeat spirited movies, only to lure us back into his original world of movies with the word "Bleak" in the title. Thankfully, he puts hyphens in the titles of his upbeat movies, and not in the titles of his downbeat ones, so in the future, we'll have to pay closer attention to that, if we don't want to find ourselves in a 2hr 20mn exploration of desperately tragic loneliness.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: The dialogue is well written and perfectly executed by the actors, but the ending doesn't give you a lot of hope for these tragically desperate characters... which I guess is the point, since after all, it's not called "A Pivotal Year," it's just Another Year.

Q: Is there anything else worth mentioning about the movie?

A: The Brits are known for having bad teeth, but some of the teeth in this film are distressing enough to be showcased in some kind of bizarre human museum, like Ripley's Believe It or Not. Even the normal-looking teeth are shown filled with scraps of food for entire scenes at a time.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Another Year Trailer

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The Fighter

(Guest Review by Valerie)

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: Based on a true story, The Fighter is not as much about boxing as it is about the journey and struggles of Micky Ward, and his brother, Dicky Ecklund, as boxers, sons, brothers, and town heroes.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Melissa Leo, Mickey O’Keefe,
Jack McGee, Jenna Lamia, Frank Renzulli

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Go! Even if, like me, your first thought is, “Not another boxing movie,” you do not want to miss this one. While there are some graphic fight scenes, it is really about family, and if you have one, or even just a group of friends that are like one, you will relate to this story.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Mostly as a coping mechanism.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: If you’re a sucker for personal transformations that DON’T involve beauty
makeovers, you have a shot at some tears.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: You mean, other than “Most Likely to Harm the Lowell, MA Tourist Industry, While Doing Wonders for its Crack Industry?” Actually, it's already up for four well-deserved SAG awards, as well as some Golden Globes, and it will likely be nominated for some Oscars, too.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Consistently great. They thoroughly convinced me never to go to Lowell, MA, if I'm determined to avoid the types of people these performances are advertising. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but even the ones with decent personalities have no sense of style!

Q: How is the Directing?

A: David O. Russell does a great job of making you feel totally anxious and claustrophobic whenever the family is in the shot. It rang pretty realistic to me. After all, I may or may not be related to Monique.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Surprisingly nuanced, given that it’s just “another boxing movie.” The moments
of epiphany and transformation could have easily been very trite, but are instead kept fresh with writing that truly captures the duality of situations.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: The Fighter Trailer

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Gulliver's Travels 3D

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: A slacker named Gulliver (Jack Black) gets transported through the Bermuda Triangle to the Land of Lilliputia, where he is a giant compared to the size of the inhabitants. There, he reinvents himself by lying about his importance back home in Manhattan, and pretending that the plots of famous movies are actually true stories about his life. Through this experience, Gulliver gets to find out what it feels like to not be such an aimless loser.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Jack Black, Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Chris O'Dowd, T.J. Miller, Catherine Tate, James Corden, Emmanuel Quatra

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Proceed with Caution. I know most people will hate this movie, but the three 6-year-old girls I met in the elevator loved it, and I'm pretty sure that's who it was made for... Boy are they gonna have a rude awakening when they watch it again in 20 years to see if it holds up to their childhood memories!

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Yes... If you're six. Possibly not if you're one of their parents and you don't like it when your six-year-old is forced to watch an extended scenes of a grown man/giant pulling down his pants and peeing on everything.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: I felt kinda sad for Jack Black as I was watching it. He's a fellow Bruin TFT'er, so I want to see him succeed, and this movie isn't gonna play any part in that.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: If the piece of trivia I read online is correct, Emily Blunt backed out of Iron Man 2 to do this movie. I'm pretty sure that qualifies her for the Best Casting Fail Award.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It's deliberately over-the-top stylized... Just like a six-year-old wants it.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: The visuals, almost exclusively models and special effects are beautiful and make you wish you could be there, in Lilliputia, but there's no need to see any of it in 3D. The only reason I did was that it would've cost me more in time and gas money to drive to the closest movie theater that was playing it in 2D. Trust me, I did the research and the math.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: I haven't seen any of the 3 theatrical, 2 straight to video, or 3 made for TV movies and series that this is a remake of, so I have no grounds to compare... But logic dictates that if the first few versions of this story are anything like the one I just saw, it never would have gotten remade 8 times.

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: Gulliver's Travels Trailer

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