Amazon Holiday

Monday, December 1, 2008

Gran Torino

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After his wife dies, Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) is totally alone, with only his memories of the Korean War to keep him warm. Now he sits on his porch, disdainfully watching his all-White neighborhood get taken over by Asians, until one day, he intervenes in one of his neighbor's conflicts and ends up getting caught up in their personal lives.

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Ahney Her, Christopher Carley, Doua Moua, Geraldine Hughes, Brian Haley, John Carroll Lynch, Brian Howe, Chee Thao

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: PhotobucketProceed with Caution. At first the film is slow and boring, and you can take a nap. Then it gets really funny, in an inside-humor kind of way, and then it gets really dramatic, building to a moment which is not nearly as important as they hoped it would be. And that's followed up with an ending that's predictable. I enjoyed it. Mostly for the funny parts.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: If Clint Eastwood tried to have Will Ferrell's career, this is what it would look like.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: The dog has something of a tear-jerking moment. But in order to be susceptible to it, you have to be the kind of person who can't handle puppy-dog eyes.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: It's Clint Eastwood, so it's guaranteed to be nominated.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: Clint Eastwood huffs and he puffs and he over-acts the house down. Everyone else in the film is much worse.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: It reminded me of the work of a really promising first time independent filmmaker. Not necessarily a compliment to a man who's directed 29 films and won 2 Oscars for it. Warner Brothers might consider averting its eyes in shame, too.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: Tonally it's all over the place. Thematically, it feels like a vanity project in which Clint Eastwood can revisit his Dirty Harry character in a "Where Are They Now" kind of way. And the story itself? It's there...

Q: Where can I see the trailer?

A: http://www.moviefone.com/movie/gran-torino/33336/trailers

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29 comments:

Anonymous said...

How big of a part does the car play is what I want to know. And how is it's acting? It talks, right?

--rp

Farzan said...

it sounds like the tone of the movie kept changing. At least its Eastwood's last movie.

Monique Elisabeth said...

@Farzan: are you saying you DON'T like Eastwood? I'm fine with that, I'm just trying to clarify.

@rp: very funny. The car has a supporting role, but nothing worthing of an acting nom or anything. I will say this, they keep it very clean.

Farzan said...

no, I didnt mean it that way. I just meant its his last film hes doing. I think he made it public that he wants to retire

Monique Elisabeth said...

So you're thinking you should see it, just cuz it's his last, I guess. One thing that is amazing is what good shape he's in considering he's in his 80s. He's really breaking the mold with his health. But I guess he deserves to retire at this point. He doesn't have much time left.

Gabriel Noel said...

I've consulted Roger Ebert, Peter Travers, David Edelstein, Leonard Maltin, James Berardinelli, and numerous other critics since 1996, and regardless of whether you are right or wrong about 'Gran Torino', this is the worst, apoetic, ineloquent review I've ever read in my entire life.

By the way, he's 78. Do your homework.

Monique Elisabeth said...

Gabriel,
Thank you for taking the time to read my review. The reason I began reviewing is because so many of the "mainstream" critics think it's more important to be poetic, than to inform the audience about whether this is a movie worth their time and money or not. Especially in a time of recession, I find that approach to be both pretentious and egregious.

Critiquing can be seen as an art-form, (where my critiques would be classified as "Modern-Art," because they stay current with the times, and consider a modern day, short-attention-span audience's point of view), but the primary purpose of reviewing movies is to help the audience determine what level of enjoyment they will receive in exchange for the price of admission. In other words, whether I am right or wrong, is essentially THE ONLY THING that matters. The rest is immaterial. So see the movie, and then decide if I know what I'm talking about. I think you will find I was right.

For the above listed reasons, I feel that despite your best efforts to insult me and my fun, sarcastic tone, you have described exactly what I am trying to accomplish with this format of film criticism. So thank you for your affirmation.

Separately, considering your banal comment regarding my compliment to Clint's continuing good looks and health, do we really think it makes a difference if he's 78 or 80? He's going to die soon either way, and in this film he's lifting refrigerators up flights of steps, which no matter how you cut it, is very impressive.

Anonymous said...

You're going to die soon, you stupid bitch -- but not soon enough!

fuckyoucunt said...

"He's going to die soon either way"??? do you know something about Clint that we don't know?? What in the hell are you talking about -- --?????? Who the fuck is Monique Elisabeth -- the spawn of Satan??????

DEATH2000 said...

DEATH TO MONIQUE ELIZABETH

And who's this other retard -- "At least it's his last film?"" "AT LEAST?'''' what in the fuck is that supposed to mean???? AT LEAST you'll be dead in the next few days, you miserable prick -- AT LEAST we won't have to put up with any more of your retarded, infantile, disrespectful opinions -- if I have anything to do with it. "AT least it's his last film?"""???????? THis is how you talk about one if the greatest Amercian filmmakers working today????

FARZAN, I'm going to make it my life's work to find out who you are, where you live, and then I'm going to slice you into a million pieces and feed you to my dogs, you stupid, disrespectful, no-nothing, arrogant, PRICK!!!!!!!


DEATH IS ON THE WAY.

Monique Elisabeth said...

Dear Gabriel,

Even though you have changed your name, I recognize your anger.

It is a fact of life that when a human being of non-immortal nature gets old, they will soon die. 78 (much like 80) is an age that fits into the category of "old."

But I don't think that's what you're really angry about. I think you're angry that you got into a battle of wits with someone who has more of them than you. And you lost.

Best,

Monique Elisabeth
Alleged spawn of Satan
(which by the way, would make me a human of the immortal nature, and therefore able to avoid the impending death that both Clint and yourself are one day, so unfortunately headed toward.)

eastwoodfan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Monique Elisabeth said...

Hey dude,

It's all fun and games until somebody makes a death threat. That's not okay!

Monique

DEATH2000 said...
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eastwoodfan said...
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Gabriel Noel said...
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Clark said...

Leave Monique alone. A review is a review, and she is entitled to her opinion. The comments here are nothing short of shameful. You people are repulsive and cowardly. Not one of you would have the courage to say any of these nasty things in person.

Gabriel Noel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Grey said...

Looks like Clint's got some free time on his hands and didn't take kindly to your review. Now watch out before he sicks his orangutan from Any Which Way But Loose.

Gabriel Noel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Jim said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jim said...

The blog administrator, who will no doubt remove this post as well, is quite the censor.

Why did you remove my other post, sir? It was concise and to the point. It was not obscene or improper in any way.

Seriously, email me and let me know.

Farzan said...

damn, what the hell happened in here Monique? I don't see what the problem is with her review. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. Not all reviews are going to be the same.

I respect your review Monique and would like to thank you for taking the time to write one for this film or any other film you have reviewed in the past. I enjoy reading them and it really helps me decide which film I should spend my cold hard cash on.

p.s Death2000, I don't know where your getting your anger from, but what I meant about my comment was that its Eastwood's last film. The man is simply going to retire from Hollywood and I totally respect that. Hes not going to go on forever you know. I will surely miss his work and will continue to watch some of his classic films. Theirs no need to make threats over a misguided comment.

Gabriel Noel said...

Good grief, what a mess this has become.

I will reiterate. I am responsible for only two of the above comments. As much I as I object to the artlessness of the review, I am not upset by Monique's rebuttal (as she is entitled to defend herself), nor did I pose as anyone other than myself, and I certainly did not threaten anybody's life (and I resent any implications that I had, on the latter two points). Any admin to this service who is able to obtain IP sources for each comment can easily verify my words as truth.

If, despite this, people still don't believe me, there's nothing left to say, as there's no convincing them.

Josh said...

yeah whatever Gabriel. Way to cover your tracks. You most likely went to the library or used some other anonymous IP address.It was definitely you bro.

Dogtownsurfer said...

I for one would like to whole heartedly agree with Monique; in fact, she is being generous by giving it any praise whatsoever. This was absolutely, positively one of the worst movies I have ever seen and any film school dropout could have done better. Seriously, this movie was a dog, and not the good kind.

I wrote my own review as well, you can read it here.

Gran Torino Movie Review

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.