Amazon Holiday

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I'm Not There

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: After sitting through the movie, I can honestly say that I have no idea. For anyone who still cares, I’ve quoted, “Ruminations on the life of Bob Dylan, where seven characters embody a different aspect of the musician's life and work.” ... Ohhhh, “Ruminations!”

Q: Who’s in the movie?

A: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger, Ben Wishaw, Julianne Moore, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Bruce Greenwood, David Cross

Q: Is this movie worth the price of admission?

A: Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketStop! I was dead bored from the beginning to the end. At one point, a character I’ll call, “Random Townsperson #1” started telling Richard Gere that the people in the town had begun shooting themselves in the face and slitting their own throats, and I actually felt a tinge of jealousy. Bottom line, if you don’t already know everything there is to know about Bob Dylan, you will have no chance of following what’s going on in this supposed art film. In fact, you may not even know that this is a movie about Bob Dylan. Personally, I think a movie should be able to stand alone in both space and time, and considering we’re already 40 years beyond the height of Bob Dylan’s relevance, the audience for this movie has already shrunk to who cares. If you want to get anything out of this movie, you will most likely have to read a summary review of it in advance.

Here is some other suggested reading material you’ll need to peruse before you go:, Bob Dylan: the Life and Time of a an American Icon, by Michael Schuman, Bob Dylan: the Essential Interviews, by Jonathan Cott, Dylan and Cohen: Poets of Rock and Roll, by David Boucher, Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right – Bob Dylan, the Early Years: The Stories Behind Every Song, by Gill…Oh, just go to Amazon, and browse for yourself.

Q: Will this movie make me laugh?

A: Only if your dreams are funny. What I’m saying is that you’ll be far too asleep to laugh at anything happening on the screen.

Q: Will this movie make me cry?

A: Only if you value your time.

Q: Will this movie be up for any awards?

A: I’m fairly sure the Spirit Awards will come up with a reason to nominate this. They love to make their voters sit through pretentious, boring crap-- Especially when it’s star-studded with people who might show up to sit in their award show audience, thereby raising their award’s awareness, relevance and legitimacy.

Q: How is the Acting?

A: It’s hard to appreciate the acting, when you’re mad at the actors for picking this movie. Clearly they all wanted to show-off their Bob Dylan impersonations. Some are better than others, but unfortunately you can see most of them working.

Q: How is the Directing?

A: Todd Haynes knows his way around a camera. He proves that he knows how to create every look under the sun in this incohesive jumbled mess of a movie, which jumps around incomprehensibly between black and white parts, modern parts, grainy old film parts, faux-Documentary parts, and many, many more.

Q: How is the story/script?

A: This is a story that stayed inside the writer’s heads. I could watch it nine more times, and get stoned, and psychoanalyze its deep meaning, but I don’t want to.

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